Juggling responsibilities and chores, I forgot I existed even.
Then , along came a smart ass and I felt nice. I felt everything was hunky dory, I gave of myself, a large chunk of emotional wealth to this glittering and sparkling asshole little realizing that all that glitters ain't gold. When I fell, I fell flat on my face. It hurt, and real bad too.
I lamented, why me. I cried, why me. I went crazy, why me. I kept it all. bottled inside me, all the why me queries troubling me, giving me sleepless nights.
Then , out of the blue, suddenly I found something I was looking for, a strong shoulder to cry on and I found my friend , who today is an integral part of my life. My punching bag , whom I punch with all my feelings good and bad. Can you believe, I have never met this friend of mine, but in the virtual world and he is there for me to rely on always. It's a new found friendship, a partnership that is not based on selfish reasons but on trust and care. He makes sure , if I am down and out, he should make me smile. and, believe me he has a knack for doing this stuff. He brings a smile on everybody's lips and is dependable. My friend, I love you for being there when I needed someone to wipe my tears. Thanks for standing by my side and giving me the time to get over the mess I had created in my life.
Then, while all this was going on, along came the person, who made a huge difference in my life. Someone who changed the course of my life some two decades ago and man, am I glad he did. There were so many unanswered questions in my mind, I had to find a reply to those. No clarifications, just plain replies and I got them. There are many more Mister, you have to answer them all. I feel nice when I speak to him whether it be the virtual world of Facebook chat (Incidentally , where we met again) or just plain calls, I feel nice.
It's like there is someone up there, who decided; Well! We have tested her enough, let's give her this chance to be happy once again. So, I won't say I have found love once again but yes, I have found friends, dependable people.
Anyways, you fall in love only once, the first time, after that it' s just a repeat telecast with different people cast in the same role. But, the effect and impact of the original can never be matched by others. They can't don the mantle of your dream hero, the lead character was created only once keeping only one person in mind. You can't replace the original with a fake.
So, I lost once and then kept losing (at one point I thought I was the biggest loser) but I found what I had lost, albeit the circumstances then and now have changed.... What the heck? Who cares? I do, but I found my 'favourite toy' once again and that is what matters to me and nothing else. somebody is not going to like the term 'favourite toy' but at 3am in the morning, when I am dead drunk and nearly dozing off, no other word comes to my mind dear. Spare me the rod and bring that smile on your lips... coz u still are the top contender for the largest piece of my broken heart. LOL
So, there goes the sob story of lost and found........ wrote it coz I know, this is the first thing you would want to read in the morning when the sun rises in the East.
You inspire me.... you believe in me........ you know what I feel like and when........ Do I need to go on further? Nah, let the moral pundits wrack their brains over this and lemme go get a shut eye before the dawn begins.... a new chapter in my life.
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