Today, when I look back and pull our relationship apart piece by piece, I realize it was doomed from the beginning itself. As Kafi Bulleh Shah rightly put it, you are a Ramtaa Jogi, flowing water which cannot stay still at any given place or point in time. You were meant to touch our lives and go. So feel liberated that there's no ill feeling towards you just a sigh that it ended so bitterly.... leaving an aftertaste which wouldn't allow me to ever trust another person again.
After a lot of deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I had to give you the benefit of doubt for you know not what you are doing. You have too many issues and aches and pains to deal with in your life and you are alone. You don't want to share your pain with anyone, but expect people to be around you. How can anyone understand you, if you move with a placard around your neck saying ' Do not Disturb'? Your loneliness is your own doing.... Your melancholic demeanor is a direct result of you thwarting people away and closeting yourself in the confines of your own four walls of depression.
You got a shot at life, you missed. Hurting you wasn't in my agenda. So, harbor no illusions that I shall ever turn and look back searching for you, I won't. I was there, you overlooked and went ahead after trivial pursuits in life. I was left standing staring at blank space, with nothing to do and no one to look forward to. I was stranded, I was marooned by the one person who I solely depended upon. I had to move on, I wasn't alone... I had to pick up the shards of my life and go on living for my loved ones. Ones, who being young still stood by my side and were my strength.
Hurting you was never there in my list.... but you left me no choice.
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