Walking into an oblivion ...

Barefoot ....
And bleeding ...
Tattered.....
And torn ...
I walk into the oblivion ...
Towards the crimson horizon ...
Oblivious of the stares ...
Couldn't care for the looks ...
The whispers and sniggers ...
They don't matter ...
All that matters is ....
I am walking into the oblivion ...
All alone ....
The partner left behind ...
The one who promised left far behind .....
A lonesome picture ...
But, a woman of grit ...
And determination ....
I walk on ...
Thorns digging deep in my heels ..
Stones scraping my feet ...
Yet I move on ...
A tear or two shed here and there ....
For a love lost forever.

It was beautiful while it lasted ...
Walking into the oblivion ...
I spot the moon ....
Bright and beautiful ...
One which we saw always...
He from his abode ....
And me from mine.

Same moon ....
But just one person ...
A damsel...
Walking towards it.

A free bird ....

I want to sing like the birds sing, 
not worrying about who hears or what they think. ~ Rumi

I am a free bird ...
Roaming the skies ....
Flitting from branch to branch ....
Chirping ....
Singing the song of a lark.

I am a free bird ...
Do not cage me ...
i am born to be free....
No bondage ....
Just an adage ....
Steer clear ...
I love not thee anymore ....
I can peck ...
I can scratch ....
Nevertheless ....
I am a free bird anyway.

I have always followed my heart ....
Even when you entered my life ...
I followed my heart ....
I gave a damn about what others thought ....
i believed you ...
I gave you the command of my ship ...
You failed as a Captain ...
Your navigation skills a zilch ...
I saw no land in your reign ....
I see no land anywhere ..
Water water everywhere ...
But, not a drop to drink.

A free bird I am ....
With free thoughts ...
And, freedom of speech ...
You cannot cage me ....
Let me fly away.

Eden ....

My garden of Eden ...
Was trampled upon by you ....
You poured poison in my water canal ....
You ruined my tulips ...
you stamped upon my lillies ...
You plucked the petals from my roses ...
How can I spare you?

Nah.... you deserve no mercy .....
Painful existence is to be yours for life ...
Each moment ...
Each scar reminding you of me ...
And my garden of Eden you trampled upon.

So much venom ...
So much pain ....
The heartache to endure ...
How can you escape ...
Your fate ...
Is in my hands.

My garden of Eden will rise again ....
From your flesh and blood ..
I shall irrigate and fertilize it ....
My garden of Eden ....
Your death Bed.

My mind tells me to give up, my heart won’t let me.

What to do ?

My mind tells me to give up, my heart won’t let me.

Mind over matter ...
Heart over matter ....
Confusion .....

Look for the answer ...

In your question ..
Lies the answer...
I asked a question...
Why me?
You didn't give an answer ....
So, I keep asking the same question ....
Why?
The answer lies within me ....
Yet, I want to hear you say it.
Till you don't answer ....
This struggle and conflict will go on ....
There won't be an end to it ....
We shall both suffer ....
The rest with us in silence.

There is no looking back ...
Nor is there something to look forward to ....
Just an answer...
And, all would be resolved ...
But, an honest answer...
Is all I need from you.

But, you don't give the answer ..
I want to hear ....
So, the war of the roses goes on  and on.

Look for the answer to this question ...
Within you Darling ....
The answer lies with you  not me.

Tip of the Iceberg ...

This is just the beginning ....
There's more to come ....
Just the tip of the Iceberg ...
There's lots beneath the surface ....
They say a woman's heart is like a deep blue Sea....
The depths of which not known to man ...
So guess... what more secrets of yours ....
Are hidden deep within ...
Secrets that can destroy your whole World ....
Wake up Sunshine ....
Before dusk dawns in ...
And all is lost ...
No hope left for you.

You can't fathom the extent .....
To which my rage can reduce you to ashes ....
Again I repeat ...
One who lives in a glass house shouldn't ...
Throw stones at others homes ...
In this process ....
You will only destroy your own World ....
Nothing will be left ...
No past, no present and no future ...
An empty house to go to ....
No one left to greet you ...
Just photo frames ...
With people staring at you ....
Asking .... Why did you do this Diploo?
And, Diploo won't have a reply ....
Just a sad forlorn long face .....
His solace his porn movies .......
On his gadgets to keep him company...

I have nothing to gain or lose ....
You took it all away .....
Your happiness counted for you ...
Today I ask you to return my peace back to me ....
Return the piece of me you destroyed ....
Can you?
No, you can't ....
and yet you remain unrepentant and stoic ...
Then, I have no choice but to continue the battle ...
all is fair in love and war ....
And if it is war .....
So be it......
If  being adamant is your stance ....
You know me well enough ....
You can't break me ...
My words slice through you each moment ...
They say ' Pen is mightier than a Sword' ....
I shall continue using my pen .....
Freedom of speech is what I shall use ....
You can try your best ...
I won't bend as always ....I shall bring you to your knees time and again......
There's no looking back ...
I have my resolve ...
As strong as Titanium and steel ...
You know me ...
Am the iron lady ....
You loved that quality in me ...
You shall experience it first hand as always ....
My words are steel pellets that will hurt you always ....
You won't live, yet you won't die.

So far you have seen the tip of the iceberg ....
There is lots beneath ....
Wait for the volley to begin ....
Then there won't be no looking back ...
Just marching forward ....
The Army never turns it's back ..
It marches on destroying anything that comes in between.

Iceberg ... that destroyed the mighty Titanic ....
What are you?
Just a mere criminal ....
You are over and done with all your conniving ....
Time for annihilation....
Icy cold waters to freeze you to death ...
Slow and steady ....
But, very painful.

This is just the tip of the iceberg .....

SPARKLE!!!!

Sparkle... sparkles with your timeless love ...
Sparkle knows .... your love was true ...
Sparkle knows ... you  still love her....
You don't have to say it ....
Sparkle .... just knows.
Know it for sure ...
Sparkle will always be there for you ...
All you need to do is ...
Call her ...
And, She will break every barrier ....
Every bondage .... just to be with you.
You have loved Sparkle truly ....
And, Sparkle hasn't forgotten ...
She is there for you ...
Others have come and gone ....
She has no regrets for them ...
But, she will break all the rules Just for YOU ...
Every music reminds her of you .... That you selected and played ...
That you suggested ...they still resonate within her ....
Music man you are Rumi ....
You are Ghalib ...
You are the essence of folk lore ...
Your Ektara and Sitar ...
Her visions ....
You play music in her visions ....
Especially when she is down and out ....
Unspoken words ....
Yet so explicit and known.....
You are the Maestro ....
She is the danseuse...
You both are what life is all about ...
You both are what true love is all about ...
Sparkle awaits the signal from you .....
She will wait forever.

Ummmm .... What a sight it would be ....

The roar of the Lion ....
Reduced to a whimper ....
Ah! Pure bliss....
Ooh... What a feeling ....
Hearing that voice again ....
But, this time ....
Whining .... and just a weak shadow of it's heyday bellow....
Where's the music man gone now?
What a sight .....
Felt pity ....
Like for a mongrel ....
A street dog ....
Who hasn't eaten for days together.....
Aah! ..... The so called man ....
Reduced to pulp.....
Now, where is the over confidence dear?
How do you face the World now?
How do you go in front of the same people who used to call you Sir with respect?
Do they still respect you?
Nah.... they work for the salary ....
Not you anymore....
No one works for a beggar ...
No one works for you know who ....
The word you said so meekly today.

This is the beginning of an end .....
Ever heard of the African Mumba?
Google ... read something ...
Educate yourself ....
An Elephant's memory never fades ....
A snake captures it's tormentor image in his vision ...
Know it ....
They are all dangerous ....
They are not so when they are your friends ....
But, you rub them the wrong way ....
And, all you get is ....
You know what ...
Trampled upon, thrown hither tither ....
Or plain bitten to a horrific death.

Never cross my path again dear ....
For, I haven't forgotten ...
I shall never .....
I remember 10th August 2012 ....
It was a memorable day ....
What a sight to see ....
The same hands that caressed me ...
The same fingers that ran lovingly through my hair ....
In cuffs ....
A beautiful sight indeed....
I cried deep within ...
For the lost love ....
But steeled myself for justice ...
Love is in one place ...
And, correcting your loved one is another ...
You did wrong ....
I had to teach you a lesson ....
That doesn't mean I don't love you ...
It means I love you ...
So, I won't allow you to do anything wrong again ....

I will never let you do any wrong again ...
That's my promise to you ...
I ensured it.
Now, go home and relax....
You have a family that loves you ....
Never break their trust again.

You are a free bird ....
I am flying away ...
So you can be with your flock ...
I have miles to cover ....
Places to go ...
Before I sleep ....
A long sleep dreaming of you ...
Coz' that's the only place.....
I shall meet you away from prying eyes ....
Away from evil eyes ...
Just in my own vision ....
My own eyes ....
That is enough for a lifetime ....

Umm... What a sight it would be .....
A World of our own ....
A figment of my imagination NOW.

Wanna know my mood today?

If you really want to know ...
Want to know ....
How your day with me is gonna go ....
Read my blogposts....
Yep..... That's where my present day....
Present moment feelings are expressed ....
So explicitly .....
That it gives goosebumps to the person ....
Who is reading it ....
And, sleepless nights ...
To the one who knows it is for him or her.

This is the best way ....
To take it all out ...
Early morning ablution ....
Expel the shit outta your system....
Rather than let it sit in there ....
and rot and cause stink and decay ...
Just let the steam out ...
So that you feel better ...
I meant, I feel better ....
And, it helps move on.

These memories remain ....
But, later as scars only ....
So best is to take it all out ...
An outbursts ...
And then there is calmness ...
Pure serenity and bliss.

The last couple of months ....
I have had no peace of mind ....
The heart broken ....
Trying to gather the pieces ...
And, then I just let go ...
Didn't bother picking the pieces ....
And, putting it all together ...
No more ...
Just let go.

Rightly said, When one thing is lost ....
Another is gained ....
I gained some experience ....
Saw the true colours .....of the so called Rainbow ....
The Land of colours ...
Showed me the that colours are just...
A figment of imagination .....
Rest is nothing ....
Nothingness .... A black hole ...
An emptiness within each being.
Each one tormented by their troubled souls ....
Each a sad being .....
To each his own then....
Coz' am moving away ...
Found my Nirvana .....
My Moksha ....
My AGNI.

Crimson tide ....

The tide came in today .....
All crimson ...
As though someone's throat was slit ....
And he was left to die ....To drown ...
In the deep blue Ocean.

The sky opened up ...
And it is pouring like hell let loose ...
Guess, God too is letting go ...

I remember him at this time ....
Sitting by the window sill ...
The walk by the Sea face ...
The walk on the beach ...
The walk on the hill ....
I tell AGNI the whole story ....
He has to know ...
To know from the womb itself ...
He twists and turns .....
As though wincing in pain ....
Seeing his mother so sad ....
But, that's life ...
Sometimes it throws lemons at us ....
Better make lemonade and have it.

But, frankly I have no regrets.....
Time spent with him was full of happiness at least ...
Momentary yet a fulfilled  love life ...
He brought a smile on my face ....
His hugs gave me a reason to celebrate ....
Crimson hues but beautiful horizon ...
He was my Sunrise and ...
He is my Sunset.

Today,  I raise a toast in his memory ...
A memory of a bygone era ....
Memory of a lost love ...
Memory of a beloved ....
I wish him luck ...
I wish him happiness ....
There is no looking back ....
 There is no fast forward either.

Crimson hues ...
Crimson tide ...
Waves crashing on rocks ....
Drops of salty seawater on my face ....
What do I need?
Nothing .....
Just the total recall is enough to last me a lifetime.

I am sailing away ....

Time for a sabbatical .....
Am sailing away to a far away land ....
Time to spend alone ...
All alone .... My space , my time ....
All alone with just AGNI for company ....
Time to go away and give AGNI the chance to survive ....
I shall be back ....
The movie hasn't ended yet .....
This is just the beginning ....
The Tip of an Iceberg ...
There is lots underneath ....
With time ... all will come out ...
Everything exposed ....
Now is the time to rest and recuperate ....
To come back with a vengeance ....
Kannagi Style ....
Who was Kannagi ?
A woman whose love for her husband burnt a whole city down ....
Know your facts ....
Time for some respite ....
And then ..... You know what ...
I can die for people I love ...
And, destroy the ones I come to hate.

I am sailing away ....
A long cruise ....
Travel with my unborn ....
And, then return with the prodigal son.

Not so long ago ...

There was a  queen ...
Not so long ago ...
Empress of her World ....
The best in her field ....
A promising career ...
A great future ahead ....
Everything was going smooth ....
Till ....
He set his eyes on her .....
And, cast an evil spell ...
He ensnared her in his clutches ...
Lies and tall tales ....
He set the ball rolling ...
For her downfall ...
He had a windfall....
He took it all from her ....
He snatched her life .....
He sucked her dry ....
He a leech ....
Drained the colour from her life ....
The Rainbow turned into ...
A grey cloudy day .....
All was lost ....
She was lost ....
She wandered hither tither ....
Till she reached the end of the World ....
Just before the darkest hour seemed endless....
They say.... A ray of light emerged ...
The dawn broke the evil spell ....
A fire so intense ....
Fire ... AGNI emerged ....
The colour on her pale skin returned ....
The Sun came out shining bright ...
There was a reason to smile again ...
There was a chance to reign the World again.....
There was the promise of a bright and beautiful future .....
Once again .... She was the Princess ....
Once again .... she was all set to rule the World again.

The Not so long ago story ....
Became today's ongoing saga.

Troubairitz .....

Yes, I am Troubairitz .....
I invent my poetry ....
I write from my heart ...
I compose songs ...
I touch hearts.

I am no lame person ....
I ain't no saint either ...
I am human ..
And, human emotions I write about.

I weave dreams ...
Dreams are what I am made of..
Dreams are what I deliver ...
To every lost soul who visits me.

Dreams ....

AGNI .... in my arms ....

AGNI on my lap ...

Dreams ..... And I am dreaming my life away ....

My day begins with AGNI ....

My dusk and dawn is AGNI ....

 A sweet dream ....

About to come true ....

Motherhood beckoning me again.

Only one who has truly loved and lost ....

Can value the price of my dreams ....

Endless, seamless dreams ...

The end result of uninhibited love.

A careless whisper ....

All care to winds attitude ....

A child within ....

A dream about to come true.

Little frocks, tiny mittens ....

Gearing for a Winter child .....

Miniature sweaters and woolen socks ...

A creche' of wood ....

A melody to sing ....

A sweet lullaby .....

Baby blues ....

For the boy to arrive.

Sitting by the brook ....

Watching tiny fish flit in the running ....

Crystal clear water .....

I see a dream ...

I feel him within ...

Twisting ...

Letting me know ...

He is there ...

As eager to meet me ....

As I am to hold him close to my heart ....

My dream .... My AGNI.

My Red Rose Garden ......

The Garden ....

My  Red Rose Garden ...
Bleeding Red ... Roses so bright ....
Where does the colour on them come from ...
Ever heard of the Nightingale....
That thrust it's heart into a thorn ....
So the Rose that bloomed on it ...
Was a scarlet ...

The brightest Red....
The bleeding heart ....
Gave the Scarlet colour ...
The bleeding heart made the rose ...
The red rose ...
The epitome of pure and true love.

My garden blooms with roses ...
As red as my bleeding heart ...

For the thorns have embellished my heart ....
My heart ...
A sad thorny picture ...
Scarred ... bleeding ...
Yet feeding the blooming roses.

My Red Rose Garden ...
A beautiful picture ...

A sad story ....
My love story ....




An epic saga ...
To be told and retold ....
Down the ages ...
It shall remain ....
The story of true love ...
Endurance and sacrifice....
An example for all lovers ....
A story to be told ....
A fairy tale...

My Red Rose Garden ....
The thorns bleeding my heart ...
Yet the most beautiful garden ...
With the most beautiful Red Rose blooming within.

My Toys ..... Musings of a little girl ....

I still have my old toys ..... preserved ...
I still have memories .....
My toys are still as good as new ....
And guess what ?
I don't share my toys.

Once someone uses my toy ....
I discard it ....
Then IT has no place in my museum ....
But, I destroy my used toy ....
So that the other learns a lesson ....
What cannot be mine ...
Can never be theirs.

My toys are my possessions ....
They are mine to keep ...
Mine to play with ...
Mine to dress and doll up .....
The moment I sense another person's touch on it ....
My toy is of no use to me ....
But then it is of no use to anyone ...
I don't share my stuff with anyone ....
ANYONE means NO ONE ....
What can not be mine ....
Can NEVER be another's....

My Toys are my life ...
They reflect my choice ....
My Toys define me .....
My Toys pacify the child within me .....
My Toys are mine ....
They are exclusive ....
Different from others toys ...
They have always been so ....
And, I don't share my TOYS.

Soon, I shall be blessed with a new TOY ....
And, it shall be mine forever ....
Let you be warned .....
Stay away from my new TOY ....
Lest you try to snatch it from me ...
I shall ..... You know what ....
I don't need to spell it out ....
I just need to do the needful....
Coz' I don't share my TOYS ...
By now, you are well aware of the fact.....
I don't need to spell it for you....
My TOYS are mine and mine ONLY.

How would you feel ....
If I snatched your TOY from you ?
SO, Beware .....
Maintain your distance ....
Hold your tongue ...
Coz' Children can be very cruel ...
Especially, if their territories are tread upon ....
So, know it for sure ....
Am in no mood to share ....
My TOYS are mine ONLY ....
Lest you forget .....
Remember, recent events ...
There can be more such incidents ....
And, you wouldn't know where to hide...
Hide yourself and your TOY ....
Else, I shall come get your TOY ...
and, I don't use USED TOYS ....
I dump them in garbage bins ....
Coz' that's where they belong.....
TRASH .....

CHUCKY!!!!!

I was enchanted ....

You belong with me ....

Story of us .....

You are not sorry ....

Never ever ever .....

We are never ever ever getting back together again ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcMn_Eu-XTE

On Letting Go ..... Some Quotes ....

Today I am amazed at the things our children have done and their wide range
of interests.  They are all living their lives and not the ones I would have planned
for them.  But I have learned that their lives are theirs, not mine, and in living
their own lives they have given me experiences and an education I would never
have had if I’d been fool enough to make them do what I thought they should do.

There are things that we never want to let go
of, people we never want to leave behind.
But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end
of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.

If only you could see that looking back into an incomplete and imperfect past, with regret, blame, guilt
or resentment is keeping you from the treasures that await you here now.
The past has gone.  You cannot rectify something that is no longer with you.

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing
you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is
not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?

Letting go doesn't mean we don't care.  Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means
taking care of ourselves.  And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible.

As I started to picture the trees in the storm,
the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the
storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and
erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown
with the wind. They understand the power of
letting go. Those trees and those branches that
try too hard to stand up strong and straight are
the ones that break.

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore.  It doesn't
leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.  Letting go isn't about
winning or losing.  It's not about pride and it's not about how you
appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past.  Letting go
isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave
emptiness, hurt, or sadness.  It's not about giving in or giving up.
Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat.  To let go is
to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on.  It is having
an open mind and confidence in the future.  Letting go is learning
and experiencing and growing.  To let go is to be thankful for the
experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.
It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will
soon gain.  Letting go is having the courage to accept change,
and the strength to keep moving.  Letting go is growing up.  It is
realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.
To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.

One wears one's mind out in study, and yet has more mind
with which to study.  One gives away one's heart in love
and yet has more heart to give away.  One perishes out of pity
for a suffering world, and is stronger therefore.  So, too, it is possible
at one and the same time to hold on to life and let go.


In the end these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you love?
How deeply did you learn to let go?

On Letting Go

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off.
It's the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another.
It's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

Scarlette .... The colour he loves ....

The red lipstick on the mantle....
Reminds me of the time he bought it for me ...
Gifted it to me ....
I hate red colour ... But, I stilll apply it ....
Coz he took the effort to go buy it for me.

Scarlette is his favourite colour ....
Hence the scarlett car ...
He loves that car ....
It is his passion ....
How can I take it from him ....
No, I won't ....
It belongs to him .....
We bought it together ....
Just so he could come meet me ....
My colour is Silver ....
His is scarlette....
Scarlette car and scarlette  lipstick ....
I took to the colour .... just for him ....

Despite the animosity ....
That has set in ....
somewhere , my heart cries ...
Cries for his plight is not what I want to see....
His position is so sorry ...
Entangled and stuck in a web ....
A web spun by the wicked woman ....
Who today accompanies him .....
Poor man ....
He is in a dilemma ....
Hurting .....
The woman revels ....
She cheated him into believing her ....
And, now blackmails him into living with her.
I can't help him ....
He has to help himself ....
He has to be bold enough to say NO to her ....
He has to find the courage within ...
Else all his life ....
He will be her slave ....
And, a puppet in her hands.

Scarlette is the colour he loves ....
I know ....
Scarlette O'Hara .....
The classic story ....
Rhett Butler ...
All Gone with the wind ...
Yet, the wind has returned ....
History repeats itself ....
Scarlette  awaits upon Rhett Butler ....
The wound still fresh ....
The bump reminiscent of a rendevous....
A tryst with destiny ....
Destiny shall take its course ....
So shall the prodigal son ....
His rightful place in the family.

Winds of change have begun ....
So has the transition ....
The prodigal heir to be protected ...
The story to be told and retold.

Scarlette shall History be ....
Scarlette will be the western sky ....
Scarlette will be the sunrise ....
Scarlette will be the sunset ....
Scarlette willl be the Night....
Scarlette will be the moon ....
Crimson tide will bring forth ...
Vermillion for the forehead.

My confessions ....

My confessions ....are all about truth ....
They are the truth itself ...
Lest someone thinks ...
It is otherwise ... Nah ...
We live once ....
Let's live with truth ...
Rather than beat around the bush ....
And lie all the time ...
A life of lies is no life at all.
All my life ..
I have lived the TRUTH ...
Unjust word came in ....
When I realized that there were a few who were hurt by my blatant truth ...
Hence , it's a sort of an apology to those souls ...
Yet, Truth hurts ...
However hard one tries not to hurt ...
Truth breaks relations ....
Not an issue....
If the other person understands you well enough ...
If he/she knows you well ...
They also know that you mean no harm ...
It's your outburst ...
Your angst against a corrupt system ....
Your out pour against what they did to you....
If you were forthright ....
All this wouldn't have happened ....
But you chose to keep mum about it ...
You chose to do injustice ...
You chose your path ....
So, I had no choice ...
But to knock at doors ....
And look for you ...
And, ask just one question ....
WHY ME?
There wee others you could have duped ....
There were others you could have lied to ....
But, why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
I worshiped you like a Demi God....
I put you on a pedestal ....
Still you just walked away ...
Smiling and laughing ...
Into another woman's arms ...
The same woman you claim ....
Had cheated you ...
The same woman who was blackmailing you ....
Yet you walked away with her ...
No issues ...
But, you have dues .....
At least return what you took ...
At least return the honour you so conveniently soiled with your dirty feet.
My confessions are my own ...
They are my words ...
That shall echo for eons to come ....
Words that will warn others of your treacherous ways ...
Words that AGNI shall read ....
AGNI ... your very own....
 He shall restore my honour to me ...
In time to come....
AGNI shall be born ...
To destroy the evil ...
AGNI shall wage my war.

These confessions are for AGNI to know ...
For AGNI to fathom ....
The depth of emotions ...
To realize and to bring justice to me.

My confessions .... are our history ...
Yours and mine ..
So that our future generations can know ...
About your treachery and my fool hardiness.

The Torch Bearer ....

AGNI ..... The Torch Bearer ....
The apple of his Grandfathers eyes ....
The protected one ....
The one to carry forth your name....
The one to carry forth your forefathers name ....
For generations to come ...
I carry that lamp within ....
I carry that fire within ....
None else can give you that prodigal son .... but me.

The prodigal son is here to stay ....
He shall seek my justice ...
In time to come ...
He shall proclaim me to the World ...
As his Mother and bearer of his life.

Come hitherto my son ....
Come forth and claim what is yours ...
Your name ...
And destroy the enemy that has put me to shame.

The Torch bearer ....
The prodigal son .... survives and thrives ...
Safe and in good health.

INDIA IS LOST FOREVER ....

Yesterdays verdict proved it all ...
What from time immemorial people have been saying ...
The Law sucks ....
The Law keepers are worse ...
They suck the blood out of the victims ....
They are vampires ...
That thrive on the common mans blood.
They side with the criminals .....
They overlook facts and figures ...
They destroy evidence ...
They destroy every ounce of humanness in us....
They are blood sucking leeches ....
The ones representing the criminals ....
They are the ones who rape their own mothers ...
For they have no conscience ...
They deserve no mercy ...
All of them ....
Deserve to rot in hell ....
Hell it is for them ...
To hell with the LAW AND THE LEGAL SYSTEM ...
THE COUNTRY SUCKS ....
THE COUNTRY STINKS ...
THE COUNTRY IS IN THE HANDS OF TYRANTS....
I AM NO MORE PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN..
INDIA IS LOST FOREVER....

Every dog has his days ...

Today was your day ...
Guess what?...
And I  granted it to you ....
This is the beginning of the END....
Every dog has his day ...
At least dogs are faithful ....
Can't call you a dog.f
Saw your tearful mother ...
Saw  your cheerful daughter ...
oblivious of what was happening ...
I felt pity....
And kept quiet ....
They shouldn't suffer for your crimes ...
The time for your annihilation has come ..
Then there won't be anybody to offer you water even...
You bribed the law ...
They too shall pay a heavy price for it ...
For every dog has his day ....
Enjoy the day ....
For the wheels are turning ....
They will crush every bone in your body ....
They will mince your flesh ...
Your blood splattered every where...
No one to save you...
As all shall share the same grave as yours.

A lone woman's battle ....

A sense of Deja' Vu....
A slight relief ...
One milestone achieved ...
One step taken ....
An inch moved forward ...
Some progress ...
It's a long and lonely fight ...
A lone woman's battle ....
A fight till the end ...
A war that will see many casualties ...
A war that none will win ...
Yet, a war to be fought ...
A war for justice ...
For the rights of women labelled by the society ...
The so called law makers of the society ...
The so called Law keepers of the society ...
Who degrade women ....
Who disrespect their own mothers, daughters and sisters....
Now, it's a fight to bring them to their knees ...
If it has to be fought ...
So be it ....
The rest of the world on one side ...
Truth and justice on one side ...
I carry forth unabashed...
Unhindered by the defamation ..,.
A lone woman's battle ...
A battle for JUSTICE ...
Against all the odds.

There's no looking back ....
One step at a time ...
Long and lonely fight.

Seeing him in handcuffs today ....
My heart cried a bit ...
Yet, there was no remorse on his face ...
Arrogance and deceit writ large on his face ...
A belief that he could buy the Law ....
He tried ... his kith and kin are trying ...
They are disbursing money left, right and centre ...
To all and sundry ...
To avoid getting further remand ....
They are trying methods of intimidation ...
Yet, I steel my resolve and carry forth ...
The torch to light the path of justice.

I am no stranger to his antics ...
His dramatic ways ....
I see no shame on his face ....
No guilt at all.

His counsel called me names ...
Yet, I heard it all....
I flinched not a bit ...
For I know the truth ...
A naked truth about justice ...
A long way to go ...
A winding path laden with thorns ....
A path few dare to tread.
Am game for all the brickbats ....
Am game for all the labels ...
They are just labels ...
To picture me in bad light ...
To save the skin of a criminal.

They look at me in the court of justice ...
They look at me with hatred ...
Yet, they look at me with fear filled eyes ...
For they know ...
I am a woman of strong resolve ...
And shall fight tooth and nail ...
Till justice shall prevail.

Finally, it's all going to begin ...

We shall once again relive each moment ....
Each moment in front of others .....
Finally, ....
Finally it's all going to begin ....
Begin ... all over again... for you and me ....
But, this time round ....
Not as partners for life ...
But, as partners in strife...
A very sad way to end a relation...
A very sad way to begin animosity.

I have no regrets....
I have no apprehensions ...
I have lost everything ...
I have nothing to lose ...
Not even repute ...
You made sure ... of it...
So, at the end of it ...
You are the loser ... Not me ...
I am the giver ...
You are the taker...
One who snatched it all in one go.

The Lord watches over all of us...
You, me ... our loved ones....
Do not forget ...
One who lives in a glass house ...
Never throws a stone at others...
Your house is made of glass too ...
And a stone can shatter it too.
Before touching a woman ...
Consider this ...
You have a mother and sisters too ...
You have a daughter too ..
The other woman is someone's daughter too ...
And, her father watches over her from heaven ...
He watches every move of yours ...
He has designs for you.

Finally, the prodigal daughter returns ...
She returns with her dad's blessings ...
She returns with him beside her ...
She returns to haunt you.

Finally, it has all begun ...
Afresh ...
Every Daughter .....
Every Sister ...
Every Wife ...
Every Mother ...
Every Woman ...
Beware .....
Here comes the Werewolf ...
Spare him not ...
Grab the nearest weapon ...
And reduce the criminal to pulp.

Finally, the real war begins ...
The turf is clear ....
The Army in place ...
Every move determined ...
But, ye not know... My move yet.

This is the Mahabharata ...
This is my Kurukshetra ...
Behold .... hold your tongue ...
Lest you lash at me ...
And I retaliate with my arrows ...
Arrows of destruction ...
For I shall lay a bed of arrows for you ....
I shall lace your drink with blood ...
Blood of my unborns ...
The ones you killed in cold blood....
You shall repent ...
Coz' this Earth is your living hell.

I am Krishna ...
I am Arjuna ...
I pine for my Abhimanyu ...
The unborn we named 'AGNI' ...
You shall burn as I burn ...
For this is the last battle to be fought on Earth ...
For this is Kalyuga ...
This is our story ....
A saga to be told for generations to come.

Finally ... the story begins ...
Unfolds all its mysteries ...
People will read it with mouth open ...
Eyes wide with surprise.

Finally, it's all going to begin ...
AT the stroke of midnight ...
AGNI will rise from his ashes...
The Phoenix shall fly again.

He lay there ....

He lay there ... wrapped in cotton ....
Wet in crimson fluid ....
My flesh and blood ....
A piece of dead and decay ....
My love shorn to pieces ...
A resolve rose in my eyes ...
Steely resolve ...
Agni's death wouldn't go waste ...
His death to be justified.

He lay there .... lifeless...
I lay next to him ... lifeless ...
A zombie have I been ... eversince ...
Searching him in the nights.

A mother cries each night ....
Mourning her unborn child ...
Somewhere the murderer sleeps ....
Waking up with a start ...
The cry ... so shrill ...
The howl ... so melancholy ....
How can the World sleep ...
When the mother runs pillar to post ....
Asking for justice?

He lay there ...
She set her gaze upon him ...
A steely resolve to get him justice ...
His death won't go unwarranted.

Who am I ....

Who am I ....
To judge a person ....
Who am I ....
To judge a community ...
Who am I ....
To judge the social system ...
Who am I ...
To judge the law makers ...
Who am I ....
To judge the law keepers ...
I am .....
One who questions ....
I am one ....
Who helped make the society ...
I am one ....
Who really matters ...
I am the citizen of this country ...
My country ...
In which I was born ...
Where I lived ....
And upheld ...
All social values ...
All cultural ethos ....
I helped build this nation ...
Gave two decades to make great citizens ...
I gave this country ....
My sweat and blood ...
I stood by the Ideals and values ...,
I was the sentinel ...
Today I stand alone ...
Fighting a lone battle ...
Against the evil that exists in our society ...
Yet I fight alone ...
People mock me for my stance ...
People do not understand ...
They are all ignorant learned fools ...
Hiding in their homes ...
Scared people ...
Not ready to face the world ...
And they blame the Government ...
What are they doing to fight for their own rights?
Civil rights or human rights ...
Fight we must for justice ....
Who am I to tell the the people what is right?
Who am I to wake them up?
I am the sentinel....
That watches over my country ...
When the real ones are sleeping...
I am the Guardian of my Nation ...
I am every Citizen.
Am not afraid to die ...
To uphold what I believe in ...
I am here to stay ...
Immortal in my words....
Truth shall prevail ...
Evil annihilated ...
Whether am dead or alive ...
The quest shall go on ...
My dreams shall live on.

Who am I ....
I am ... Me, Myself ... know it well ...
I am every Citizen.

Am going to the hills ...

Yup, True ... I am going to the hills ...
Into the misty mountains ...
In search of the sage who left ....
The Globalgyani ....
As he called himself ...
I have taken it upon myself ...
To seek him out ....
He is in a safe haven ...
I shall bring him forth ....
So the World can meet ...
One of the best artists ...
A human par excellence ...
Who has walked away from mankind ....
I shall bring him to his kind ...
Yes, am going in search of Gyaniji.

I shall tread the forests ...
Swim the rivers ...
Brave the storms ...
Yet I shall seek him out ....
The World needs to meet him ...
He belongs here ...
Amongst the downtrodden ...
So that he can impart ...
Discourses to them in the dark dungeons.

Am travelling up North ...
Towards the hills ...
Where he has his base ....
I am gonna touch base ...
And bring him back to civilization.

Suddenly ....

Suddenly ....
When I finally let go ...
Am feeling so light ....
Like flying in the air ...
A different feeling ....
So much pain .....
Suddenly forgotten in a jiffy.
Moksha .... That's it ...
I am in a state of true moksha ....
A blissful, peaceful state of being ...
Nothing matters anymore ...
No past ... No future ....
The present .... just being happy.
Whatever happened matters no more ....
Am unaffected by it all ...
No clamoring for results ...
No pestering for justice ....
Just letting go ....
Deleting everything associated with those memories ....
A state of forgiving the other person ...
No more bad vibes ....
Just a smile ...
Long forgotten smile...
The tears washed away with the rain ...
A glowing face ....
And plans for a long pilgrimage...
Packing my bags ....
Just a few essentials ....
Embarking on a long journey ...
The end to which is not known ...
Going in search of myself ...
Rediscovering my true self again.

Suddenly ... am in heaven.

Letting go ....

Letting go is easier said than done ...
Especially if a lot of emotions is involved...
If a lot of people are involved ..
All sense and sensibilities are involved ....
And if the other person doesn't give ....
A valid reason ...
For his atrocities.

Letting go can be made easier ...
If there was communication ...
But when all channels of communication are closed ...
Then there can be a hindrance ...
In the letting go process.

Out of sight ....
But, not out of mind....
How can one let go ....
So much was at stake ...
So much was shared ....
Everything can't be lost ....
In one stroke ....
Or one statement.

Memories haunt us ....
Good or bad ...
They are an integral part of our being ...
How can they be erased ?
No, they stay and torment the soul...
Never letting it go of the protagonist.

One can forgive but never forget ....
And, one shouldn't forget ...
A lesson well learnt ...
To learn from your mistakes ...
A learning experience ...
All lost ...
Experience gained.

All World is a stage ....

Shakespeare had written ...
All World is a stage ....
And, we all are actors ....
Playing our roles.
The script is already written ....
We are just reading the dialogues ...
And playing our roles.
Some get good characters ...
Some get the hero's role ..
Some get the Heroine's role ...
Some play the Tragedy Queen.
We all have a part to play ...
You yours and I mine ...
We all need to act accordingly ...
We can't change what is fated ....
All we can do is ...
Give it our best shot.
We played the roles in ...
Mid Summer night's dream ....
We played it well ...
In The Merchant of Venice ....
We are still playing our roles ...
In the Greek tragedy ....
Taming of the Shrew ...
Being the best .....
Playing the part of Ariel ....
Singing the larky song ....
I remember Wordsworth ...
And  his lonely lass ....
Reaping and binding the grains....
then again, Frosts path to create ...
One of my own ...
I have miles to go before I sleep.
All World indeed is a stage ...
We are actors playing our roles.

When I am gone ....

When I am gone ....
When I vanish from the face of Earth ...
When I vaporize into thin air ....
When this mortal being doesn't exist ....
How will you traumatize further?

I shall leave this body ....
I shall leave this earth ...
I shall turn to ashes ...
Or, be the feed of fish ....
Whatever my fate be.....
How will you traumatize me further?

My heart says you shall regret what you did....
My head says forget it .... he won't ....
Common sense says ....
He will never know.

When I am gone ....
So many will rejoice ....
For I made their lives miserable ....
I made them see sense ....
Yet they chose to ignore it ...
Counsel given for free.

When I am gone ...
The birds and bees shall miss me ....
I know many ...
Who will genuinely miss me.
I know some ....
Who still miss me ....
I know ONE ....
Who really misses me ....
My Knight in shining armour ...
My Aviator ....
My beau ....
My first love ....
My last love ... too.

I know you are there for me ....
Always ....
Yet our paths are different ...
Our lives separate....
Yet you counsel me ...
Overlook all my mistakes.

My morning sunshine ....
My sunrise ....
My sunset too ... I guess.
My back up plan ....
As the last one quipped with jealousy....
Seeped in his voice.

When I am gone ...
I know ...
My life was worth living ...
Albeit for a short while ...
But a life well lived ...
And ...... on my terms.

He watches every move I make ...

He watches every move I make ....
Yes! he does ....
He keeps an eye on me ....
Always ....
I can feel the piercing gaze ....
Just like the first time he set his eyes upon me ....
He knows every thing ....
He can sense every decision I take ...
He knows me too well ...for comfort.

He knows what I am thinking ...
He knows what I will do ...
He just knows it ...
Our bonding was always at a higher level ...
It was always spiritual ....
A trance kind of state ....
A state where he knew every mood ....
He could handle me well ...
None other could do that ...
Today , I stand at the beach ...
Scratching sand with my toes ...
Coffee in my hand ...
A faraway look ....
Yet content with the feeling ...
That he still watches over me.

Thank you GOD for being there ...
Watching over me always.
You have never let me down ...
This time too ...
I know ...
You shall get me justice.

I am appalled ...

I am appalled ....
Shocked to say ...
But ....
She came to me ....
A sorry state to look at ....
With a baby in tow ...
Crying her heart out ....
Asking me to help her get justice ...
Speaking of four abortions ....
Asking to testify against him ...
Asking for proof against him ...
She took it all ...
I looked at the baby ....
Saw my own lost ones in her ...
I gave her everything ...
All the testimonials and proofs ....
And she turned tables ...
She was faking it all ...
She was only using the baby ...
To get proof against him ....
To use it to blackmail him ....
Just the way she used the baby....
To blackmail him into marrying her ...
Oh what a guileless, spineless ....
Woman she is ....
No shame ....
Using a baby to get a life of comfort.
Shame on her ....
Shame on motherhood...
She is a blotch to the word 'Mother'....
I cried looking at the baby ...
I did everything for the baby ...
Now, I wonder ....What will become of her ...
With such shameless characters as her parents ...
Such unscrupulous beings as her family ....
Her future is bleak ....
Sad! But, a glaring truth ....
Truth about our uncaring society ...
Very sad that the law keepers too ...
Turn a blind eye to such crimes...
A woman using her child ...
Like the beggars at traffic signals ...
Using babies to beg for a morsel of food.

I am appalled ...
Shocked to say ...
She is a blotch in the name of motherhood.

The High Priestess ...

She looks out the window ....
She sees a world diseased ....
Diseased in beliefs ...
Diseased in values ....
She sets out ....
To Cure the Diseases.

The High Priestess ...
The goal of her life visible ...
Crystal clear ....
Chaste in her mind ...
Pure in her heart ...
She steps out.

The Priestess who sold her Red Swift ....

My World ...
A beautiful world to live in ...
Yet I chose to give it up ....
I sold my Red Swift ...
And, am on my way to higher grounds...
Places where no one has ever been ...
Climb every Mountain ...
Cross every River ...
Explore the Deserts ...
Swim across the Oceans ...
Time to shear the mane ....
Time to cut off all ties ...
Time to move on in search of ....
The light that eludes me.

I am the High Priestess ...
The Priestess who shuns it all ...
The Priestess who moves on ....
In search of herself ....
And the ultimate truth.

Am in a state of bliss ...
Pure bliss ...
A state of Nirvana ...
Am in a state where ...
I can see miracles happening ....
Just a thought ...
And it just happens.
A gift by the supreme being ...
A gift to share ...
So, I move on ....
For the downtrodden wait ...
Wait upon me ....
To better their lives ...
To save the World...
To make it  a better place to live in.
Yes, I have sold my Red Swift ...
I have given the money in charity ...
Let the poor rejoice ...
Let the meek feel mighty.

The Priestess sold her Red Swift ...
The Priestess on her way out ....
Awaits the World for miracles ...
She has it all in her kitty.

The lives we lead ...

Wow to us for the lives we lead....
Wow to others for the dread that drives their lives ...
What a life we all lead ..
One moment happy ... and ...
The other moment separated from life itself.

One moment two people are together ...
And the next moment ...
They are the worst of enemies....
At each others throats....
Living separate lives ...
Wondering how all this happened.

One moment ....
In just one moment ....
A man turns into a monster ....
Some godforsaken woman just turns up somewhere howling ...
You lend her a helping hand ....
She turns out to be a worst monster than him ....
Using an innocent child to get what she wants ...
Emotional blackmail is her forte' ....
And she stabs you in the back.
No wonder ...
No wonder he is so unhappy with her ...
But he has no choice ...
He is afraid of her ....
She is blackmailing him ....
But for how long?

Doesn't matter ....
It is his decision to stick it out with her ...
To lead a life of dissent...
I have learnt not to trust him anymore ...
I move on ...
Leaving him and the forsaken one to their devices.

We all have our lives to lead ...
Mountains to climb ...
Heights to reach...
Our dreams become our reality ...
Our actions speak louder than words.

The lives we lead ...
The path we tread upon ...
Decisions that we take ...
All our own.

Our Rights ...

We have a right to our own opinions ...
You and I ...
Whether it is your side of the coin or mine.
I express mine in my own way ...
You do yours your way ...
We are all different ....
Aren't we?
That is what sets us apart ...
I lead my life on my terms ...
I don't need you to counsel me ....
And your opinion doesn't matter...
You had your say ...
I shall say mine.
If my statements involve your name ...
It is because you were instrumental in that event taking place ....
So why bother ?
You should have thought of all the repercussions....
Before playing with my life at least.
I don't take things lying down ...
I stand upright for justice ...
I don't use my loved ones ...
I create my own path.
We all have our decisions to make ...
We all have our ideals to follow...
We all have our lives to lead...
We all have our point to make ...
We all have our justifications...
We have a right to our speech.
My life isn't bound to yours ...
But, I am bound to my experiences ...
To get justice or express...
Whatever I do ...
I have every right to do.
I don't need to take your permission for the same ....
You live your life ...
Do not tread upon mine.