I am afraid ...

Images from days bygone whirr like a movie reel in front of my eyes and am able to recall them in a moment although it took a lifetime to live through them.Memories I thought had faded away , remain firmly etched on my mind.

Am surprised at my behaviour. Despite all the ups and downs in life am still hopeful that one day happiness shall knock on my door. I don't understand , why do I get carried away by my emotions?Why am I even getting into the groove and talking to anyone? I am letting people read me like an open book. I must not. I must become reclusive again, there is peace in being in that state and frame of mind.

I am afraid of getting hurt again. Earlier , I was young, I could take the blow; now I can't. Images of yesteryears happy moments bring a smile on my lips yet a painful sigh escapes through them, when the wound opens up. Why did it happen to me?The days become a living hell when am flooded with these memories good and bad. Why did I open Pandora's box?

There is a constant conflict eating me away like white ants. I must switch off before I end up hurting myself and others in the process. I don't have the strength of youth to hold me steadfast against the lightening and thunder of the storms of life.... I must switch off.

In the dusk of my life, I must walk alone deep into the realms of darkness, I must walk alone...