Woman ... Unplugged ...

That's every woman ... Unplugged ... Unheard of ... You need to dig deep within to find her .... every one doesn't get this opportunity ... when you get it ... respect the woman who opens up to you... coz' she has put all on the anvil for you ... her home ... her family .. her life ... If she openly admits her love for you ... Don't hurt her feelings ... it may have been a game for you ... a passtime ... not for her... When a woman gives ...She gives her whole and complete self.

Don't use a woman for your trivial pursuits ... you will go home ... But, she would have lost her home and mind for you. Mind it ... Do not use a woman for your ulterior motives ... her love will be good but her anger irrevocable ... You shall hurt more than her.

This goes for every man ... That has ever loved a woman ... never hurt a woman ... It HURTS to be hurt and lied to.... To be used and left high and dry.

This is from every woman ... Unplugged and open ... Steer clear ... Don't come near if your intentions are unclear.

Dilemma ... Whom to choose?

Well, Human mind and emotions, a complex network of nerve wracking situations ... Glitches that lead to nothingness... hitches that end up being a mess... Just a pile of nerves ... lots happening and nowhere to go. How can one choose between this and that? I can't, I won't... I want the end of both the Worlds.... this World and the dark underworld ... the Crazy and the Evil .... There is no question of choosing ..... It is all about matters of the heart ... You can't separate the heart from the body ... Neither the brain .... One would be lifeless without either of them ... so one is my heart and the other my brain ... Don't ask who is who.... they are a part of me and there is no parting ... Just plain and simple, a clear understanding ... I would be  lost without them.

Friends are what we all crave for. Good friends ... dependable friends ... Who aren't around but yet are a part of your support system .. psychological backup ... your punching bags ..... You have never met them bt they are always with you ... day in and day out. They need not be around all the time, but when the need arises they never back out. This is what true friendship is all about.

So, no DILEMMA.... None to choose. Both are dear to me and shall remain so. My crazy duos ... my Satanic friends ... Naughty Devils ... No jealousy here ... Just plain camaraderie .... My comrades in Arms (Literally). Words bind us together ... Funny satirists... Comic personas... Our words bind us in a melee' that cannot be set apart.

My comic, joking and funny friends ... They bring a smile on my face ... The rest of the World wonders why I smile and laugh .... Just like that ... Nah,  the thought of my duo makes me grin from ear to ear.

A Perfect Woman ...

A Perfect Woman ...
What defines her?
What sets her apart?
What brings that glow on her face?
What is her Name?
My name is her Name...
I belong to the genre' of The Perfect Woman ...
I epitomise her ...
I make her what she is...
I am every woman who thinks she is perfect ...
Coz' flaws are in the eyes of the society ...
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
When you read this ...
Feel like a woman ...
Be the woman that you are ...
And feel absolutely perfect.
Do not let the bane ...
Of being born a woman ...
Bog you down ....
You are the Creator's best yet...
You are Man's worst nightmare ...
A mare that can change the way of the stallion ...
A mere woman ....
That can launch a thousand ships ....
Can cause dynasties to fall apart ...
Can bring the downfall of Governments ...
One word outta your lips ....
The World will be lapping ...
Every word you speak thence.
A perfect Woman you are ....
Chiseled and carved out of ivory ...
Pearly glow your features revel in ...
Silky skin your forte'...
Then why despair ...
Just show your countenance ...
For you are the very word of the Light ...
The Light in which all merge ...
When they are done with their Worldly desires.
Your chipped remains ....
Glow in the dark ...
The path you take ...
Meandering and long ...
Full of mazes ... Yet ...
You carry forth your torch ...
To set ablaze the trail of Truth.
You are a Perfect Woman ...
I am a Perfect Woman ...
Know your self worth ...
Not to hop on the band wagon ....
Of the desolate souls from the underworld....
You are meant to rise from your ashes ...
Rise and soar high ....
For you are the Phoenix ....
The Bird of Paradise ...
A myth for some...
A dream for some ....
A nightmare for some ....
But you are someone....
Perfect in your features ....
Your shadow becoming you ...
Your contours the delight ...
Your eyes shone the light.
A Perfect Woman you are ....
A Perfect Woman I am.

Where Eagles dare ...

Where Eagles dare ....
Man goes astray...
Women pull their hair out in despair ...
For the Eagle had no reason to spare ..
The watchful eyes ... watching every move....
The sinner doeth no harm ...
Lest they catch the eye of the Eagle ...
Hovering above.

Soaring high above ...
Lonesome in his nest ...
He believes he is Satan ...
But, no ... He is not ...
He is the watchful Civil Servant ...
The one helping to rid the land of crimes.

Satan is actually the Vulture ...
That hops over bodies rotting ....
Not an iota of feeling ...
That's the Vulture speaking.
As crazy as it may seem ...
The Vulture is the alpha male ...
The Eagle the true identity ...
Of the man slain at the altar of death...
Death of the common man ....
Death of the unsuspecting woman ...
Who hath belief in the system ...
That reeks and stinks of downfall ...
A stabbing in the back of faith and trust ....
A mask on the face of man they trust ...
A family man gone astray ...
On demands of the carnal instinct...
So distinct of all men ...
The shallow hollow men.

Where Eagles dare ...
These men block the living daylights...
Lest their truth be revealed ...
Exposed they shall decay ...
The vultures too wouldn't ...
Rip their maggot ridden flesh apart.

Where Eagles dare ...
The maiden rises above the ground ...
To dance the flightless dance ...
Music wafting in the air.

Knight's Honour....

Words uttered ... From the mouth of a man...
Heard by the lonesome brethren ....
A Knight's honour ....
Words that spake of trust and faith ....
Believed by the gullible ...
Uncharted terrains to be crossed ...
Men big and small following ...
Through the desert storms and ...
Thundering typhoons ....
Boiling oceans ... Vast expanse....
Men, women and children ....
All following him ...
The one who spake the truth.
A Knight's honour ....
Keeping his words ..
In becoming the man he is ....
He takes them all in his stride ...
As his pride ...
All along the way.
Meandering paths .... rope bridges ...
Over gushing rivers and spiralling whirlpools.
Dense woods ... whispering winds ....
Hallowed shady stonewalls....
None withstanding the surge of might ...
Of the Knight that bespake of freedom....
From the shackles of a tyranny of fate.
I walk the other way ...
Carving a niche' for myself...
I walk away from the mayhem ...
The crowd of humanity ...
That follows the Knight.
I walk away ... in the Knight's honour ...
For I shall not take his honour away ...
By telling the truth ...
Unmasking his face and fate.
The Knight's honour remains intact ...
The truth buried deep within me...
I walk away ... the secret trailing behind me.

A must ...

A must if one wants to remain in a peaceful state ....
Forget ... Erase ...
Not possible!
Easier said than done ...
One can't stop dreaming ...
One can't stop imagining ....
For a person to create and procreate ...
One has to keep the hope alive ...
Remain calm in still waters and in a storm too.
There has to be some semblance ...
To the mayhem ... The heart creates ...
Wandering through meandering imaginations ...
Full of hope and positivity...
Lots of pluses ...
No minuses ...
No negativity ... just a positive optimism ...
Of a life beyond and yonder ...
Full of wonder and surprises...
Just like today and in the past ...
Pleasant surprises that keep you going ...
And gung ho about everything.

A must indeed ...
Is the need to retire into your fantasy land ...
Where all is hunky dory ...
Attract that happiness ...
Bring it into your present moment and ...
Moments to come further.

A must is the need to be absolutely at peace ...
At peace with yourself and the rest of the World...
Nothing should matter ...
But, matters of the heart.

A must .... happiness with and within yourself.

A piece of me ...

A piece of me ... misplaced ....
Lost in the melee of life ...
Somewhere along the West coast ....
Some where deep within ....
Buried in a forest ....
Enroute via  a lake ...
To the heart that never sleeps ...
In a concrete jungle ....
Based in a city that never sleeps.

A piece of me ....
Left behind ...
Over coffee and a piece of chocolate brownie...
Somewhere in the Coffee place ...
Picked up by the stranger ...
Who once was a known face.

A bit of me ....
By the sea side ...
Walking beside him ...
Left behind a bit of him and me ....
In the frothy foamy waves of the shore.

A chunky piece of me ...
On the green hills ...
Treacherous terrain ...
Yet no fear....
No fear of skidding or falling ....
Off the precipice ...
The biggest adventure of them all.

Memories...
Bits and pieces ....
A puzzle to be put together...
But not now...
In the back burner of my mind ....
My heart takes rest for a while....
Yet not ready to lose it again ...
But all set for another match....
A rematch ...
To set the scores straight ....
To win the game ....
All over again.

A piece of me ...
A piece of him ....
Put the two together...
A beautiful song to hum.

What all...

What all people do for love ....
Gawd! Hard to imagine ...
But, it's true ...
Feelings can make a person turn turtle ...
Rather a Goose ...
Seeking love ....
Doing anything for that particular word ...
A state of being ...
When one is totally lost and immersed ...
In another ...
That's why she immersed herself in his idol ...
Yes, Meera Bai ....
She left the mortal World to embrace immortality in his love ....
Lord Krishna! The one whom all fall in love with ...
For his love ...
A glimpse of him ...
Women over ages have sacrificed themselves ...
That's selfless ... unimaginable love ...
What all people do for love.

See them immersed in his songs ....
Oblivious of the gazes that they get ...
Krishna Bhaktas... one and all...
All and sundry .... Just singing away ...
Hare Hare ...
An image conjured in the mind ...
Blessed are those that find peace in him ...
The one from whom the Universe started ...
The one who will end it all.

What all ...we do for love ...
Immolating ourselves in the fiery fire of love ...
Unquenched thirsty love ...
Pure blessed love.
Easier said than done ...
Takes a Braveheart to proclaim their love ...
Takes a Braveheart to burn in love ...
Takes a Braveheart to turn their back on their love ...
So that there is peace ...
The loved one is at peace and not hounded ever again.

It takes courage to love and let go ...
Nerves of steel ...
To steel oneself against the blizzard...
To stand tall and walk away....
To just walk away from the mayhem ...
That Love brings in it's wake.

Better to have loved and lost ...
Rather than, never loved at all.

Phir wohi kahani .... Repeat telecast?

Damn .... Once again , a repeat of the last blunder....
A mistake I don't wanna repeat again...
Once more ... the same situation ...
An outright asking for help ...
An outright cry for love ...
Nah, this time a strict No, No ...
Had enough on my plate to make history repeat itself...
No ways... Not a total stranger ....
Never met ...
Just an acquaintance ....
Nope, don't wanna fall int this trap again.
Funny are the ways of the Lord...
Sending people my way ....
Very well knowing that ....
Am wary of the same kind of moves ....
Am wary of the same mistake being committed twice over.
Once bitten twice shy ....
Am not gonna fall in this trap again.
This time round ...
No repeat telecast ....
Cast away the reel in the dustbin ....
No more ....
No time to waste on trivial pursuits...
No time for anyone else.

Relief ...

What a relief! Whew! ...
Thought she would never leave ...
What lacklustre performance ...
A shame to call an educator ...
Full of mistakes ...
And, falsehood ....
Thank God! She has left .....
Didn't know how to tell her...
On her face ....
That she was a no good teacher.
Always messing up things ...
Messing up plans ...
Messing up accounts ...
Spellos... yikes! A nightmare ...
Looks ... Horror movie heroine ...
The moment one saw her ...
One's mood would be off ...
Always full of spite for others...
Pointing out other's mistakes ...
Never looking at her own self ...
And the blunders she had created.
Thank Lord! The virus is out of the system ...
A pain to call her a teacher.
Have lot of unwinding to do ...
Unwinding the mistakes she had created ...
A bane in the name of Education ...
A shame to our name.
What a relief.... she is out of the system now...
On her own ...
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Aching ....

Am aching and itching all over ...
The itch has begun...
To yet begin another journey ...
Another adventure to go on ...
My feet never still..
Not a still water ..
But, a stream...
A brook lively with colours and bloom...
The banks alive with life ...
Sounds of critters and music of birds..
A life beckoning me to leap ....
And, reach beyond and yonders....
A life calling out ....
Asking me to live again....
Toleave everything behind ...
To plunge in the labyrinth of another life...
A whirlpool of emotions ....
Knowing not  what lies ahead...
But, yet the adventurous soul within  wants to move forth ....
Experience the goodness of living once again.
An ache ...
A deep within feeling ....
The wanderlust bug has bitten me again.

Bemused wanderings of a naughty mind...

Amused at the hilarious situations people put themselves in. Perched on precarious precipices men, women and children place themselves in. The heart; it is a rather serious comedienne; making us do things, we couldn't ever imagine ourselves doing but we .... we end up doing and making all the silly mistakes that a third person looking at us would scoff at and make fun of us. But, heart; dear dear heart makes a fool of itself always.

But, no regrets. What the heck we all make a fool of ourselves once in a while .. some like me, make a fool of themselves all the time. But, what is the lesson learnt? Keep it in mind always ... you came alone you shall go alone ... you might find a companion in the journey of life ; some who can cope with your speed of travel... some get left behind .. some move ahead and disappear in the oblivion ... Don't lose yourself ... gather your wits and have another show... It will be a complete sell out.

Wander you must. Call yourself a wanderlust traveller in this journey of life. Travel in style.Live life King size and Queen size  There is no other alternative but to move ahead always. Movement should be a constant in your life always.

Wander in the woods or in the concrete jungle you reside in ... but wander you must. There is no alternative to motion. Motion is life itself. Slow or fast; keep moving ... never look back ... there is no looking back ... what's left behind was never meant to be. Just gather your wits, nothing else is needed  to survive ... a good sense of humour... the ability to make a joke out of yourself and every situation in life. Only a true human being can laugh at his or her own self and yet be happy. Be naughty, be childlike... forgive but don't forget the lesson learnt ... move on ... before the sun sets you need to find a place where all like minded souls meet and have a gathering of intellectuals ... wandering minds all out to have some fun.

Am a bemused wanderer ... with wanderlust in her eyes ... stardust in her gaze ... spring in her gait ... a faraway look searching for the cloudburst that is her final abode...

Of late ...

Of late, I feel life has become less hectic. Maybe just a phase, everything seems to be at peace; even me.
The general feeling of nothing really happening seems dull. Is it that the adage 'There's a lull before a storm' apply here? Dunno, I guess I am just imagining it ... but, a new phase is about to begin, more intense and much more hectic but never the less exciting; I guess.

Of late, maybe it's the holiday season, too many days going lazying about, lolling around; doing absolutely nothing... Maybe that is making me feel so lethargic or is it the weather... the nip in the air... winter starting with the bang of firecrackers ... long movie marathons... festivities and loads of rich food to go with it... making me lazy. Nah, lazy; I ain't.

Then, what is it that makes me think that there is too much silence around? Is it that Silence is the fence around wisdom? The fence within which I am cocooned and ensconed warm and cozy. Like a caterpillar all set to become a butterfly. A colourful and meaningful life ahead.

Of late ... the feeling is of peace ... the ultimate bliss each one seeks in a world full of conflict, aches and pain.
Inner peace .... like I have reached the end of my journey  and there is no more to travel. It is time to bid adieu to all and sundry and moving to the next level. Full Stop.

Love isn't just a word ...

Love ... A word? Nope....
Love isn't just a word ....
A feeling or state of being ...
It is prayer in broad daylight ....
It is humbleness at its very core...
He proves it by remaining quiet.
Words couldn't have made the same impact .....
As his silence did.
Not a word ...
Yet he said it all ...
The mute message ....
Was all, he sent across...
But the message was well understood....
A relation only true lovers can relate to ....
A state of being ....
Only true lovers can be in....
A feeling only true lovers can feel ...
Without the formality of touch ....
Or verbal communication ....
The body language ...
The silence says it all.
Love isn't a word by itself ....
It is what true lovers prove ...
Even by being apart .....
Yet meeting each night in their dreams....
Where no one can disturb them ....
All on their own ....
They hold each others hand ...
That's it .... that is all that is needed....
For love to flower in a desert of silence.
Love isn't just a word ...
It's an echo of the beating of two hearts ....
In unison to the sound of music ...
Entrenched deep within them.
A soulful song ....
Strings being strummed .....
Words hummed ....
Soft music... yet strong influence....
A congruence of two rivers....
Melting of ice in Ocean....
What you see outwardly is just a bit ....
There is a lot beneath the surface ....
A strong undercurrent ....
Someday the lovers will meet ....
When all is settled ...
When the murky water settles...
Then in the crystal clear brook ...
Will you hear the melodious sound of the lovers music.
Love isn't just a word ....
It is music to the ears.

On second thoughts ....

Why do we make our lives so complicated?
Am having second thoughts ....We have so many whims and fancies...So many contradictory thoughts ...
So many hassles to deal with ...So many idiosyncrasies ...We make life complicated for ourselves and others ...with our actions.

Our actions .... our thoughts ... make us do wild things ... wild decisions ... which we, of course regret later .... but, all the more while deep in the middle of it ...we just overlook it and end up getting bruised and hurt.

On second thoughts, why do the action which we may regret later? Why not remain cooped up in our little pigeon holes and be safe? Why not remain in our fear based cabins and never come out? Afraid of getting hurt? Why? That's what makes you better and better each time ... else you would be just like anyone else... just living .... living under the shadows, never venturing out ... just alive ... a zombie ..a living dead. Where would your self be? Where would your creativity be? You are a nobody and will remain so forever... what would you have achieved? On second thoughts ... Are we here to achieve something? Are we existing coz' we need to make a mark and leave a legacy behind so that people remember us? Height of narcissism... That's it.

On second thought... why not just live for yourself? Why not be you ? Why not just let things be and move on and find a path of your own? That is the state of nirvana which we all seek. Pure bliss... no hangups ... just you and your thoughts and the culminating actions thereof. Why do we make our lives so complicated?

Expectations! Yes, the root cause of any conflict in our mind. We expect too much from others. We give in order to receive .... expectations ... that kill the soul within .... too much to handle... too little to give.... yet expect to receive always.

We haven't yet outgrown our idiosyncrasies or our boots of youth. We are just floating around expecting things to be hunky dory always. It is not so. We are just playing our parts in a game ... a mind game of sorts .. that makes our libido high ... a kick that lasts for a second and then nothingness ...  a hollow ... a black hole ... immense .. within which we lose our senses and selves.

A trajectory path that we undertake when we are catapulted into a state of high intensity emotions and then all lies still when we are in deep space and a melancholic sadness fills us up. The highs and lows of life.

On second thoughts... it's as though we are being experimented upon and a log is kept of our reaction to situations. We are being watched. We are guinea pigs in a big laboratory of life called Earth.

Family ...

Collage of life ....

Life .... well lived ....
My life is a collage of moments to be remembered...
Memoirs to be shared...
No regrets whatsoever ....
Whatever happened in the four decades ....
Was to happen ....
Destined to happen ....
Am glad the events took place ...
It has made me a better human being.

It's like swimming in an Ocean ...
Overcoming obstacles like whirlpools...
Hurricanes and thunder and lightning....
Sea creatures; big and small,
Yet swimming nonetheless......
The shoreline a bit far away ...
But strength not sapping at all.

The events of the past one year ....
Brought forth the need to seek...
My family out ...
Am glad whatever happened ...
Took place ....
For someone up there was scripting the story ....
To get me to bond with my family again.

Am happy and thankful ...
To all who came in my life ....
Like a breeze....
A breath of fresh air ....
And, like the wind disappeared again ...
Because each gave me a pearl of wisdom ....
Each made me the Woman I am.
An expensive gift of experience to share ....
Learning the ropes too ...
A journey to be remembered ...
A collage of Life .....
Bits and pieces to be remembered and cherished ....
Bits and pieces to put the puzzle back together again ....
Links to be joined ....
A life to be written about ....
So that down the line ....
Generations to come ....
The Family tree is remembered....
And, the legend lives on.

The collage of life...
My Life's collage....
Colourful with shades of grey ...
Yet, a beautiful masterpiece ...
On this day today....
I offer it to my progeny..... My tomorrow.

A love story to be remembered....

His family originates from Lahore and Peshawar now in Pakistan ..... Her family originates from Rawalpindi, also in Pakistan ... After the partition the Great Granddads  settled in Pathankot and Delhi respectively. From Pathankot ... After the completion of his studies .... He joined IMA and then when he was posted in Deolali near Nasik ... he met met her Sister ... and when she went a visiting her sister in Deolali all the way from Delhi .... They met and the rest is history. They met ... fell in love .... she went back to Delhi ... he went to Delhi with a marriage proposal and they were married. Brigadier Som Prakash Nanda  and his Dulhan Prem aka Pammi Nanda.... This today wouldn't be possible if they hadn't fallen in love.

Yeh kahani hai Diye (Maa) ki aur Toofan (Daddu) ki ....

The most beautiful Bride for the most handsome Groom....

Nanaji...Maa's Dad

Nana Dada ... Diwan Saab .... he couldn't see... Maa was his eyes ... she would read the papers for him.

Yeh kahani hai Diye ki aur Toofan ki ....

Brigadier Saab with his Memsaahib...

Pitaji... Shri Pritamchand Nanda

 Pitaji..... Shri Pritam chand Nanda... was a true Gandhian till his last breath..... Angad would take his Sotti and run away in Chandigarh. He loved Mataji a lot. They were inseparable.

Maa

 The smile that could disarm any enemy.... She had it in her to charm her way to peoples hearts and souls. A great cook, a loving wife and a forgiving Mom.

Laughing & Smiling Maa....

Always Happy ... har mehfil ki jaan ....

Happy Daddu ... Eyes are smiling ..... Khushiyaan phir laut aayin..

 This is my FAMILY .... and I am happy to be able to proclaim so proudly. Without them, I wouldn't have been possible. Their Love story is my story's beginning.

Stickjaws .....

Stickjaws from Elloras.... No dieting please ....Thanks Daddu for sending them across ...Am freaking out on Stickjaws. Yumm yumm chomp chomp .... teeth stuck and glued by the gooey sticky caramel rich in clarified butter .... Ummm am in Heaven .... Ultimate bliss and Diwali gift.
The silver coin joins my collection of silver paraphernalia .... Thanks for that too.

The prodigal son returned home with ..... " Daddu behaves like you ..... just the way you behave ... everything in proper place..." I replied " I am but his daughter and I learnt from him and Maa."
Now, I don't have to say anything, he understands.... This is what elders do for their young ones... lead by example. Thanks Daddu for making him a responsible guy.

He is all gung ho for another trip up North and wants to go to Chandigarh too...
All the good things and meetings with Grandad's friends... He came away rejuvenated. I Like that.

Stickjaws .... memories floding my eyes with salty water .... But these are tears of happiness... Of heartfelt gratitude .... Dad you didn't forget!

Good Byes....

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation! ~ Rumi


There never was.... there never will be ... Separation is too heavy a burden to carry on my delicate shoulders.  

Maa & Daddu .... Anusuya & Angad are your exact copies.... Amazing!

When I saw this photograph .... all the past memories came flooding back ..... The kids are the same image as their Grandad and Grandmom.

Am overwhelmed with emotions .... am binging the blues away ..... trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together ... some are missing ... Links broken .... But, am glad .... Got my Dad back.

Maa watches over us ... that is why ... today we are together again ... The kids have found their family once again.

This Diwali will be remembered always .... Happy Diwali Maa & Daddu  ....  There were no Good Byes ... There never will be.

Ek Hoonk si uthi dil mein .....

Aaj phir Diwali aayi ....
Phir roshni chaayi ....
Diye jale ....
Dil mein phir ek hoonk si uthi ....
Phir har pal koi bahut yaad aaya....
Uski muskurati aankhen ....
Uska yuun andheri raaton mein ....
Milon ki doori tayy kar ke aana....
Mere baalon ko sehlaana ....
Woh jaadu ki jhappi ....
Har ek pal ....
Aankhon ke saamney se guzar gaya....
Aaj phir ek hoonk uthi dil mein ...
Phir woh yaad aaya ...
Jisey bhulaney ke liye .....
Itne sitam sahey aur dil ko jalaya...
Barbaad ho gaye jiski mohabbat mein ....
Luut gayi shaan o shaukat....
Kuch baaki na bacha....
Reh gayi buss ek reit ki dheri ....
Aur kuch kagaz ke phool.
Aaj phir ek hoonk uthi hai dil mein ....
Ek toofan sa aa gaya hai ....
Ek aisa ufaan ....
Jo na le doobey mujhko phir ...
Tanhaiyyon ke safar mein....
Mehfil mein hoon ....
Phir bhi aankhen usey hi dhoond rahin hain...
Palat kar, ghoom kar phir aasmaan ko dekhti hain ...
Aur duaa karti hain ....
Yaa Rabb ....
Woh jahan bhi rahe...
Khush rahey ... Aabad rahey...
Meri hoonk ... halak mein atak jaati hai ...
Aansoon chalak aatey hain ...Aur mein ...
Apni manzil ki aur nikal padti hoon.

God makes sense ...

The word God makes sense ...Not humans....They are senseless beings indulging in senseless acts. We all have our idiosyncrasies but that doesn't mean we apply pressure on others to follow the same. If you are happy you are happy ... if you are sad; keep your moroseness to your own self rather than imposing yourselves on others.

You have moved on ... let the other being be. But, what you owe them ... give it back... else it is a small World and actions speak louder than words. Never take anything from anyone if you don't have the capacity to replenish it when you are gone. It's always a give and take relationship. Every relation is a give and take. If you take, have the shame to return the favour. Else, you ain't a man but .... you know what.... I don't need to elaborate it .. do I?

God makes sense .... the word .. the feeling .... the sentiment .... but not an idol or form. It is the Supreme being .... sort of a light, a glow within everything ... man, machine or animal  and trees.... anything that brings you spiritual happiness.... that helps solve your problems.

It makes sense to acknowledge what an angel has done for you. It makes absolute sense when you are humble and not high and mighty ..... living a lie. 

Maine Rabb ko dekha hai ....

Maine Rabb ko dekha hai ...
Unn nanhi aankhon mein ....
Maine khudaa ko jaana hai ....
Pakad ke unn nahi hatheliyon ko ...
Maine Bhagwan ko paaya hai ...
Jab uss bachchey ko goud mein uthaya hai ....
Angel jisey kehte hain ....
Woh nanhi si jaan .....
Meri zindagi mein aaya hai.
Maine Rabb, Khudaa, Bhagwan ....
Sabko paa liya ....
Mukti mil gayi insaani zazbaaton se....
God particle ....
Jo mere ghar aaya hai.

Rabb jhooth naa bulwaye ....
Unn neeli aankhon mein ....
Samundar ki ghehrayee hai ...
Unn komal haathon mein ....
Saara sansar simat gaya hai....
Mera sansaar ...
Mera ghar ....
Mera sab kuch ....
Uss khudaa ke bheje farishtey ki hatheliyon mein hai.

Woh ek nahi ...
Anek hai.....
Ek toofan hai...
Samundar mein macha ek ufaan hai....
Mere andar ka insaan hai....
Jismey yeh jahan hai.

Maine Rabb ko dekha hai ...
Dekha hai .... Unn ankhon mein.

Absolute Bliss...

Permanent solution ....
Eat well ...
Absolute bliss ....
Kebabs... Biryanis....
You name it and I shall have it ..
On a culinary tasting spree ...
Tastebuds ... leaking with saliva....
Move over Ivan Pavlov ....
All I know is food ... Food delights me.
Tickle my senses ....
Moksha ... Absolute bliss...
That's what life is all about ....
Finding a purpose ...
In winters .... Indulge in tasteful licks ....
Curl up in bed and order what you want ...
You shall get it ...
It's just a call away ....
What? Your food ...
Your ultimate purpose for living ...
And going out and working hard ....
That's what Man works for ...
Oops women too ....
For the two square meals ...
That their hard work can get them.
I work for my Bread, Butter, Sausages, Ham and Salami.
Absolute Bliss.

Dhan Taras....

Dhan Taras! Spello ? ... Nah ....
Dhan Teras .... objectionable expenditure.....
Unnecessary expenditure....
Unsure gifts ....
So...
Ordered Crab Curry and Chicken Biryani ....
Orthodox traditionalists will kill me ...
But, damn .... the Crab curry looked yummy ...
The Dum Biryani SOUNDED yummy ....
Religious sentiments ki aisi ki taisi ....
I want my crab curry.

Mini Gulab Jamuns ... Kesar Shrikhand ....
And, Kesar Motichoor ke laddoo....
What man ! Balls  and lotsa balls ...
What else do you need before a dark night filled with ....
Noise pollution.....
And, the Night air smelling of TNT ....
Hahahaa..... Religious sentiments ki aisi ki taisi.

My wallet is craving money....
Money gone ....
Splurging on food and Men ...
Hahhaha..... My vices.....
My satiation points.
Have money ... have one's whims and fancies ....
Fulfilment to the core.....
Sentiments ki aisi ki taisi.

Dhan Teras ... Ko Dhan Ko Taras insaan ....
Ya toh apni kar ...
Yaa dujey ki maan....
Mein toh apni manungi ...
Tu apni khair manaa.

Today ....

Today ... In a mood ....
To really destroy every yesterday ....
Every yesterday spent with you ....
All out to erase every memory forever ....
Last spurt of action ....
Then no more looking back.

Lies belies the truth ....
Truth you never told ....
Truth unfurled ...
Bleeding heart left behind ....
Full of venom and hatred ....
For the one ...
Who used it for his own selfish reasons ...
Reasons known to him only.

Today in a mood to really really ....
Destroy him ...
Wipe him and his memories from the face of Earth ...
Pests of the society ....
Leading a false life ...
And, leading people on.

Today ... annihilate the roaches of the society ...
Today .... crush them all ...
Mince the meat in them ...
Squeeze them dry ...
For today ... suddenly the anger has erupted again ...
Just like that....
Today .... it's time to take the final action.

New Friend ...

Found a new friend ...
In a distant land ....
Good friend ....
And, reliable too ...
A bit moody and headstrong ...
But full of family values.

We started off as enemies and today...
Ended up as pals ...
Earlier days you would have termed it as pen pals...
Now, twitter pals.

Found this new friend via a friend lost in transit ....
Somewhere something just didn't click ...
And, I unfollowed him.

A hollow element ...
Animosity ....
It leads to unwarranted for adversity....
Uncalled for comments...
But, we are but human....
We all have our idiosyncrasies....
Our egos to satisfy.

But, am glad I found my new friend ...
Hugs and wishes to him ....
Of good health ....
He gets his bouts of anger I used to get ....
Hope he can overcome this evil too.

This is for my rotten friend ...
My friend for life....
A friend indeed...
With no false ego ....
Just a plain Indian heart ....
A sweet, tender heart.
My friend ... My Guru.

Mystery ....

He was a mystery ....
The mystery man ...
The man who came flamboyantly ....
And, changed the course of my life .......
He led me to the brink of my extinction ...
Why? Why did he do this to me?
A mystery .... that puzzles me.

The talks .... the walks ...
The rides ....
All a farce?
Or, was it real or surreal reality?
A mystery to be solved.

My eyes search him in the crowd....
I see him in every being ...
Watching me ....
Marking every move I make ...
Remaining in the shadows ...
He stalks me ....
The Mystery puzzles me ....
So do the mysterious circumstances.

It can't be a mistake ....
Such a grave mistake to make ...
Mystery abounds in the wake of the revelation ....
Something amiss ...
A missing link ...
Something gone wrong somewhere ....
Something gone awry....
A mystery.

He said somethings....
She said somethings ...
Their individual claims don't match ...
Nothing seems real ...
As though ...
He is being blackmailed....
A mystery it is indeed.

This silence from her is a mystery too....
Something suspicious here ...
Hope all's well in her World ...
For that is why I left it behind ....
It was her World not mine....
Heart, soul and mind.
A mystery if you don't mind.

Mera Saaya ...

Mera saaya .... bahut saath nibhaaya ...
Aaj waqt aaya ...
Toh bhi dat ke khadaa raha mere saath .... mera saaya...
Woh kehta kuch nahin ...
Woh sirf dekhta hai....
Woh bolta kuch nahi ...
Woh sirf sab raaz kholta hai.....
Kabhi hota hai saamney ...
Toh kabhi peechey ...
Kabhi seedhey neechey ....
Par mujhse dooor nahin ...
Mera saaya ...
Mera Humsaaya....
Mera humsafar ...
Mere suffering ka ek hissa ....
Mere jeevan ka ek aham mudda hai....
Mera humsafar .... mera humsaaya.

Kahin pe chitaa jali ...

Kahin pe chitaa jali ....
Kahin dil jaley ...
Par jal ke khaakh hui mohabbat ....
Rakh hui jawani ....
Hawaa ke jhonkey ke saath udd gayi rakh bhi .....
Bachi toh sirf ek rawani ...
Ek junoon ...
Na sukoon ....
Na kanoon ....
Buss haad maans ki putli ....
Kathputli ...
Ek zinda laash....
Na aakaash ...
Na zameen ...
Na samundar ka paani ....
Buss aankhon ka paani ....
Aansoon .... jo tapke moti bann ke ....
Jahan girey ... wahan phool khiley ....
Ek nayi aasha jagi....
Ek nayi rawaani chaayi...
Baaki bacha itihaas ....
Jo likh di hamney apni kahani.
Kahin pe chitaa jali ...
Kahin pe paani mein lagi aag ....
Lekin jo dhuan utha ...
Usmein ek atmaa jagi ...
Ek insaan jagaa...
Ek aurat ko mili zindagi ...
Uskey aansoon sookh gaye....
Uski raahein khul gayin ...
Manzilein kareeb aa gayi....
Sukoon mil gaya.

I thought .....

I didn't know ....
I thought .... you had erased me from your memory ....
Never thought you would designate me the place in your heart ...
And lives ...
Am overcome with emotions ...
Heavy emotions ....
Thank you Daddu ...
Thank you Maa....
What Maa couldn't do as a mortal being ....
She is doing from up there ....
She is still here ....
I can feel her looking at me and saying as she used to say ...
Radhika you are the best but for your anger ....
Yaa aar ya paar ....
That naughty smile ....
That understanding ....
What happened? God knows ... His ways....
But, I miss my FAMILY....
I owe it to you Maa ...
This is an ode to your relentless and undying faith ....
That one day all will be well ....
Wish I could get you back ....
Take away all the pain ....
I was your Mother in law remember ....
You were never mine ...
You were my Maa and Daddu ...
You taught me to make the perfect rotis and parathas ...
And, rajma and choley ....
The best Baingan ka bharta ... kids love it ...
Baingan ka Raita ....
Aloo ka Raita....
And, always the most for me ...
Even mangoes ... I remember ....
You pampered me too much ....
So I took so many liberties with you ...
You were mine ...
You still are my Maa and Daddu ....
Signing on a piece of paper doesn't change anything ....
The relation remains....
Albeit just with you ....
But, it does ....
People ask me why I didn't change my name again ....
And, I say ... signing a piece of paper doesn't change any relation.
I thought you had torn all the photos and deleted me from your life ...
But, here I am ....
Standing tall ...
As your daughter ....
Your daughter will never let you down ...
She will make you proud always....
Love you both Maa and Daddu ....
Let the wheel turn .....
Let the Garden blossom forever.

Empty Cartridges ....

Clink.. plunk....clunk...
The empty cartridges fall down ....
The Cowgirl pushes her gun back in the belt ....
Moves forth .... Kicks the dead bandit with her boots with silver studs ....
Chequered shirt and tight faded jeans....
Leather belt and a Cowboy Hat ...
That's all ... that is needed to ....
Make a statement ....
That's me ....
My new avatar ...
A rural lass in the making ....
An urban chick fading ....
Uber class lady ....
Flinging all the bling  .....
Just moving on ...
Nothing left behind ....
Not even memories of the remote past ....
SoBo Chick .... on the go ...
A long winding path to carve ....
That's her .... That's me ....
Empty cartridges ....
Left behind....
All the bandits of the past ....
Dead behind ....
Corpses ... rotting in the Sun ....
Eaten by vultures ...
All behind me....
I trudge along the waterway ....
The River of no return.

Swords drawn out ....

Daggers and Swords .....
All drawn out ...
A war cry .... shrill and harsh ....
Sounding in the distance ....
The howl of the hounds....
Swords drawn out ....
Daggers drawn out ....
A click of the safety pin ....
Of a Handgun ....
A gang war .... on the go ....
A war to watch out for ....
I hold onto my baseball bat ...
That's all I need ....
To break the jaw of the opponent ...
My daggers and sword in their sheaths....
No need for sharp weapons...
My tongue is sharp enough ....
My words are rasp enough ...
My writing is good enough to launch a warhead ...
To send them hurtling down to hell.
Just like an arrow ....
A bullet .... or a strike of the sharp object...
My words can't be taken back ....
Once uttered ... They are the gospel truth.
I am the reigning terror around ....
I am the reigning Queen ...
Try as you may ....
I am invincible ...
Coz' am the living dead.
Nothing can kill me or give me pain ...
I am the invincible one....
I am the reigning Queen of terror....
I am ... the banished one...
I vanquished all my fears....
I triumphed in the end...
I juggle between pain and pleasure ....
I shuttle between the living and the dead.
Swords and daggers drawn out ...
They don't impale me with fear ....
I am a dagger drawn by the almighty itself.

Etched on my heart .....

Etched on my heart is his name ...
Inked forever on my chest is his name .....
The Lord of love and anger ....
Mine forever ....
His love and my anger....
 A deadly combination.....
That erupted a war when love happened ....
A thousand ships launched for one ....
A thousand swords drawn for another ...
His name etched on my heart forever.

With me he shall live a thousand lives ...
With me he shall die a thousand deaths ....
For he is my voodooed doll ...
My favourite doll of all.

Etched in my memory ....
Are his antics ....
His laughter ....
The tears in his eyes ....
The tired look ....
The morose look ....
The look of regret ...
The unfazed love ....
The look of a lover .....
Waiting for the right time.....
Etched in the sand of time ...
I Love you.....
Washed away by waves....
Yet, written each day ..... each moment.

Etched on my heart is his name ....
Etched in my memory is his face.....
In my arms .... his memento for me to keep...
Little fingers to hold on to....
His name ... now my name.

Sound of Music ....

The sound of music he played ....
He played for me ....
Make me go ballistic .... at times ... holistic at times ....
Mood swings occur....
I cry .... a muffled cry ....
I smile .... a sly smile....
A smile that tells all ....
My love for him ....
It hasn't dimmed a bit ...
Getting stronger day by day ....
A faith ....
A fervent prayer ....
Turn back the tide ....
Turn the turn of events .....
Change everything for the better ....
But, time and tide ....
They never turn back .....
They just go on doing their job ....
We are left to do ours.

The sound of music he played ...
The songs he sang ...
His voice.... so clear in my head ...
In my conscience ....
As though he is sitting beside me...
Holding my hand ... and singing ....
Caressing my face ....
Moving his hand through my hair.....
He loved doing that ...
Caressing my hand and my head....
I remember ...
Remember it all ....
As if it is happening right now.

The sound of music .....
His voice ....
His gaze .....
Unnerving gaze ....
And I give a shy smile .....
All to myself ....
Just thinking of him and him only.

Ek chadar maili si ....

Ek chadar maili si .....
Yaad dilati hai woh raat....
Jiss raat hum baithey thei ...
Khuley aasmaan taley ...
Chandni raat mein ....
Oss se geeli ghaans per....
Chadar bichaye ...
Wohi chadar yaad aaye ...
Ek chadar maili si....
Bheegi oss  ki boondon se....
Neend gayab thi uss raat....
Buss aasman ke taarey bas gaye thei aankhon mein....
Paas woh thei aur hum ...
Dooja koi nahi ....
Buss ... do dilon ke darmiyan koi aur nahi ....
Phir ek goonj uthi ....
Aankhein khuli....
Woh ek khwaab tha....
Par chadar geeli thi....
Maili chadar ....
Kaise?
Woh khwaab kabhi ek haqeeqat tha....
Ek hoonk uthi aur khwaab toot gaya....
Maili chadar mere saath reh gayi buss...
Aur kuch nahi.

My Reflection ....

See my reflection .....
In the work I do .....
See my reflection  .....
In my kids ....Kids .... Biological and the ones I keep for their parents ....
See my reflection in them.

I see my reflection each day ...
I give a pat to myself and say....
Atta Girl!  Good job ....
The reflection says ..... It's part of the deal ....
A job well done .... a glow on my face.

Walking down the path of my dreams ....
Dreams I haven't seen yet ....
But, realized much before ...
I know my inner self glows ....
The reflection shows ....
Deep within the satisfaction ....
Of a life lived ....
Well lived .... despite the strife....
Yet, a life ....
To talk about ...
A life to remember.....
And, be remembered.... Always.

Sacch kehnde si .... Rabb...

Tussi sacch kehnde pae ho ji ....
Rabb dil vich rehnda si ...
Te Auliya da hukum haiga....
Sab nu pyar kar ....
Par insaan jo hota hai ...
Woh iss gal nu kadi nahi maanta...
Woh bas apni vaasna ki poorti karta haiga...
Te unno chhadd ke chala jandaa hai....
Jo sachche dil se unno pyar kar di si.

Tussi sacchi sacch kainda si ...
Par eh toh kadwa sacch haiga...
Ki Duniya vich ab pyar nahi bacha...
Jo bacha so hai thoda sa waqt ....
Phir sab andhiyaara....
Phir naa Sohni hogi na Mahiwal...
Naa Shirin hogi na Farhad ...
Naa Reshma te na Shera....
Bass hogi jag hasaiyee ...
Pyar ki ... iqraar ki ...
Aur kuch nahi hoga.

Plucked Flowers....

Flowers ... beautiful and fragrant ....
Men pluck them ....
For their own happiness ..
Men pluck flowers ...
For wooing women ....
They pluck them and leave them in books ...
To dry and remain forever in the name of love ....
They pluck flowers and crush them ...
And ....then ...
They have the cheek to proclaim ..
They have no liking for plucked flowers.
Such men SUCK big time....
They are bloody wilted twigs...
Weaklings .... showing strength behind fake names....
Real life Eunuchs ... having fun with plucked flowers and then leaving them aside....
Plucking more plucked flowers from decaying bouquets...
And proclaiming undying love ....
To the woman waiting at home.
Suckers ..... They ought to be bobbitized ....
Then shall the plucked flowers .... rise and shine again....
At least the plucked flowers have some use ...
They have lived their life to the fullest ...
Given joy to others ....
What has the wilted weak twig given?
Nothing ... He is just another twig to be burnt to ashes.

The Devil within...

We all have it ....
The little devil within....
We are all devils without the horns ...
Yes.... but where's the trident ... That he holds?

The devil within ...
In childhood makes us do innocent mischief .....
In teens ... rebellious outrages....
In young adulthood... crimes of passion ...
In oldage ....
It is just too tired ....
Yet, it is still existent ....
Upto some mischief or the other ...
But, yet again ...
Cute mischief ....
Coz' It ain't all that bad....
It's just our self ... That needs recognition...
So, does things that don't suit our persona per se.

The devil within....
Wants us to acknowledge its presence....
Wants us to know ...
It has feelings too....
Needs .... unmet needs...
Silent needs ....
Loud despicable needs...
Needs stifled by societal taboos....
Needs ... plain and simple needs ...
Of a human mind ... trapped in a mortal body....
A mind with infinite possibilities...
Infinite probabilities ....
An infinity within an inferno ...
Desires of the devil ....
Lots of desires .....
Unwarranted for actions .... for fulfilling those desires...
Chained aspirations ...
Unchained emotional outbursts.
The devil within ...
The suppressed desire....
The oppressed woman ....
The ostracized soul ....
The categorized human....
One and all the same.

Inspire me....

Inspire me .... my muse ....
I say ... to the reflection ....
I whisper in the ears of the person ...
Looking  lovingly at me ....
And, the act begins.

Inspire me for greatness .....
Greatness within ...
Not for the World to witness....
But, for me to experience ...
Just like yesterday .....
Yesterday was a great day ....
A day I felt I had achieved something ....
A bit but every drop that falls makes an ocean.

Someone up there really likes me ....
Gives me problems only I can solve ....
Gives me the strength to be the best ...
In whatever that I do.

Ah, yes! You may think this is narcissism...
But, heck no ....
It ain't...
It is but a thanks to the Supreme power ....
For having faith in me....
A never dying .... never ending faith....
In my ability .. to surface unscathed ....
Albeit a bit tired and at times frustrated ...
Yet, a wholesome being ...
Content by herself ... in being who she is....
An entity ..... an identity....
Of her own ...
Despite adversity ....
Standing tall .... with him watching over me all the time.

Inspire me ... to be the best further....
Send more challenges my way ....
Success gives a high ....
That no drug can match.
I don't match my success with money ...
My success is the countless smiles ...
Of the little ones that look upto me....
They motivate me to be who I am .....
The best.... The best of them all.

Innssspppiiiirre ME ....

Difficulties.... they strengthen me...

Yeah! Difficulties ... make me stronger ...
Calamities .... Strengthen my resolve....
Adversity in the face ... make me smile brighter....
That's the fundamentals ... to live by ....
That's the thought that weakens the devil.
I am a woman ....
Every woman within me ...
The strength of a woman unmatched ...
Though I walk alone ...
There are multiples that walk behind me.
I set an example ....
Others follow.....
That's what leaders are for ....
Being forward ...way ahead of their times....
I am way ahead of others ...
Coz' I have the conviction ...
To say and do as I please ...
I don't bend when adversity strikes...
I keep my head held high.
I am every woman .....
Yet, I am ME....
Difficulties ... they strengthen me.

The colour Red ....

The colour Red .... makes me see Red....
Red ... in the lipstick I wear ...
Red... in the dress I wear ....
Red ... in the food I eat ....
Red chillies ...
Red Lipstick ...
Red Dress....
Red Vermillion ....
The red of my life ....
Blood ....
The lost one ... swathed in red.....
The red in the sleep deprived eyes ...
The angry veins erupting .....
Yes, Red ... everywhere ...
Not the colour of love ....
Not the colour of passion ...
Not the colour of Valentines ...
Just ... simply RED .....
The colour of the vehicle ....
The colour of the lipstick ...
The colour of my blood soaked baby.
An anger erupts ....
Only to be soothed by the thought ....
Of the cuffs that he wore....
That gives me pleasure...
The shamed look in his eyes...
Ashamed and guilty of his crime ....
No.... That's not peace ....
Peace is yet to come ....
A long awaited peace ....
When he loses ... What I lost.
The colour Red.

Cheese ....

Say Cheese ...
And, something melts within ...
Say cheese ...
And, you can feel the taste within ....
Mmmmm... yummmm....
Different flavours ....
Different kinds....
Just like the moments in our life ...
Cheesy moments ...
Soft cheese... hard cheese ....
Melting cheese.... stinky yet the most perfect ... CHEESE.
Best had with wine...
The cheese melts in the mouth ...
Gourmet taste ....
Delicatessen cheese....
Connoisseurs cheese....
My cheese ...
My life .... Just like cheese....
Matured ... Cured ....
Having a long shelf life ...
Gone through hardships ...
Yet soft, subtle ... strong flavoured cheese ....
With White bubbly to go with it.
Champagne as bubbly as me ....
As pure and delicately flavoured as me....
As exclusive as me ...
Found only in the best homes.
Cheese .... made from the best goat milk... or Cow's milk ...
Found in the hills of Europe...
The grass and the herbs giving their flavour....
The cold and yeast the taste....
The more it ferments ....
The more it cures ...
The more it's value raised.
Cheese ... from homes of the Nobles ...
To homes of the herdsmen ....
All the same ...
Yet, differently prized by them all ....
All cheese go through the churning ...
The cyclone within ...
Yet, it all comes out ....
As the taste of the elite.
Say cheese ... differently ...
Say Cheese ... similarly ....
Cheese is cheese...
Same as life ...
Brought about with love and care...
Cured through times...
Yet, enjoyed by all....
Same as life.....
Through ups and downs ....
Yet a life lived to the fullest.
Full Cheese .... Fuller Life.

Karvachauth..... A farce women believe in ....

Karvachauth .....
Does it really stand the test of time?
In today's times ....
Does it really have any meaning?
Do people really keep the fast with the same feelings over a period of time?
No, They don't.
It has just become another ritual to show off ....
Your jewellery ...
Your social status.....
Your false sense of belonging to a man....
His false act of being the ideal husband.....
Nah... Just a false belief ...
Just a false ritual ....
Married whores...
Staying in a loveless marriage ...
Just for the sake of comfort and riches...
Nothing else...
Spreading their legs for a man ....
Who must have done it to half a dozen others during the day....
And, at night with half a dozen others.
The one wearing the Red Vermillion waiting upon her so called husband....
Actually waiting upon the moon to show up ...
So that she can eat her food.... Hungry women...
Only a grand show of grandiose tomfoolery.
The very essence of true love ...
Has been lost forever ....
What with marriages fixed for material gains....
What with feelings expressed to fool someone....
Yet, I keep this tradition alive ...
Albeit not for anyone anymore ...
For myself ....
For the woman in love with the supreme being ...
The one who makes the World come alive.
A farce women want to believe in ....
Karvachauth.... a false belief ... nothing else...
The men for whom they keep this fast ...
Fast asleep in someone else's arms.