Everything has to be perfect. Everyone has to be perfect. Every situation has to be perfect.
An ideal life is what I seek.... but it's hard to come by.
No one is perfect. I ain't perfect too. My imperfection reflects in my anger and obsessive compulsive disorder. But, I expect everything to be in order. Things to happen in clockwork precision. People to be civil and follow discipline. Expectations.... too many of them and yet not a single one can be fulfilled.
This ZES thingy is making me go bonkers...not that I ain't crazy but yet it's alienated me from people in the past and now threatens to raise it's ugly head in the relationship I am in. How do I deal with my demons and penchant for everything being clean be it my home, my life or our relationship?
How do I deal with my zeal for perfection? What a dilemma? There are times when I just want to scream and say Lemme be.... lemme be imperfect. Let me be human. Let me live life. Let me just flow. Let me be just me....Period...full stop.
Let this disease not torture me more..... let it pass on. I wanna enjoy life rather than crib about everything in it. Let me be thankful for all the small mercies of life. Let me just tide over things and stop mulling over the nitty gritties in everything I do. Let me just let go of my expectations.
I want freedom from.........Zero Error Syndrome.....Aaarggh
hi,
ReplyDeletewonder whats your profession ! I was preparing a lecture on 'Zero Error' and stumbled upon this blog of yours !
I am a fighter pilot by profession, now flying the 'corporate jets'. I think my dad suffers from it too..... but I have realized something..... those who suffer from it EXPECT perfection from others and the system more than from themselves. Cause if they strived for perfection themselves, they would realize the futility of the 'Zero Error Syndrome'. This is often also referred to as "Satisfactory Underperformance" !!
Anyway all the best.... ENJOY !!
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYup, it's true... we try to look for perfection in others but it's also true that we try to look for it in ourselves and it's our frustration with our performance that leads to problems in our lives. And, yes mostly as is with every human being we do not acknowledge our own imperfections and try to cover it up with other actions loud and attention seeking.