High and Low ...

They are looking for you ...
High and low ...
Only I know where to find you ....
Yes....
In my heart ....
Deep within ...
Encased in a beautiful box ....
Bejewelled with my love and care ...
You my love ... lie there....
No one can take you away from there ....
You remain there forever.
A sweet memory ...
A bitter experience ...
But, nonetheless ...
My own ....
My very own heart throb.

Let them look High and low ...
You remain within my heart ...
Forever and ever ...
Till death do us apart...
Then too, I shall float above you ....
As a spirit ....
Always protecting you ....
Always brushing you ...
As a wisp of wind ...
A fragrance in the air ....
Reminding you of me ...
Reminding you of our love.

Sweep me off my feet again ....

O Knight in shining armour....
Sweep me off my feet again ...
Take me on a wild wild ride....
Far far away...
Just like you did before ...
When all care was blown away...
With the wind ...
And we were wild and free....
Carefree ....
Sweet whispers in my ears ...
Of love and more ...
The soft murmur of your heartbeat ....
When I laid my head on your chest.

That mole on your chest...
just above your heart...
A faint reminder of days of happiness....
Days of togetherness...
Can't forget ....
These fond memories ...
Memories... that are killing me ....
Slowly but surely ...
I am lost to the world ....
I am wandering ...
Day and night....
I move around ...
Hoping to catch a glimpse of you ...
Just you ....
Sweep me off my feet again ...
My love ...
Just whisk me away ...
To a far away land ...
Just you and me ...
Together forever....
Your fingers running through my hair ...
Your eyes reading every thought crossing my mind ...
Eyes ... those deep brooding eyes ...
Hidden behind the thick lashes ...
I love you ...
There can never be another ... anymore.
Just come by ...
Just sweep me off my feet again.

What are you afraid of?

This is my way of having a monologue with you.
What are you afraid of?
You never call...
Yet you want to compromise ...
That too only in front of other people...
This is just between you and me...
Why involve others?
The moment others come in ...
All is lost.
That is what has happened so far.
This is yours and mine....
Our story...
Not others.
What are you afraid of?
You started the story ...
You can't end it abruptly ...
Not without a happy ending.
It has all the masala of a blockbuster....
Great episodes to tell...
Lots of juicy anecdotes ...
Drama too added in.
No, this story the world needs to know....
This story is a legend ...
We are creating history ...
A niche' in the annals of the stories to be told ...
For ages to come and beyond.
Teri meri prem kahani hai mushkil....
Do lafzon mein yeh bayaan naa ho paaye.

AGNI ....

Agni .... Came and left ...
Twice he came ...
Twice over he was rejected ...
He left ....
But he left his essence behind ....
He left his spirit behind ...
He left his soul in me.

He exists within my thoughts...
He is a part of my being...
I shall carry forth his spirit ...
I shall carry the torch.

My son... My child....
My unborn one ...
I shall get you ...
The justice you deserve....
Even If I have to join you in doing so ....
The enemy is formidable ...
But, a mother is much stronger than any Army.

Agni will definitely get his justice....
I shall strive for it ...
Tooth and nail....
Till death do us apart.

On the run ...

He is on the run ....
Yes, he is ...
Like a rat exposed...
To pesticide ....
Like a cockroach crawling up and down ....
Scurrying from pillar to post....
Seeking ways to save himself.

Save himself from what?
The end result of his crimes...
Just as Krsna said in The Geeta....
Whenever the crime rises on Earth,
O , Arjuna! I shall come and cleanse The Earth...
He is here ...
Krsna is here....
He came as Agni ...
He came again as Agni ...
Now, he manifests within me ...
I am the vehicle of the destroyer of all evils ...
I shall get justice for all.

Krsna is back on Earth ....
This war shall continue ....
There is no looking back ...
Just marching forward ...
Turning the enemy black and blue.

This is just the beginning ...
The end doesn't seem near....
A long fight ...
A victory of Good over Evil....
A long tedious journey ...
But not tiring at all ...
With renewed vigour I march forth ...
For, I am the Commander of my Army.

Let the enemy be on the run ..
Let them run helter skelter...
Ultimately , they would reach a dead end...
And, Justice will be done.

In anticipation ....

Hope he realizes his mistake ...
In anticipation I wait....
Hope he comes to his senses....
I anticipate it all.
 The trepidation ...
The feeling of dread ....
What if he absconds?
What if he runs away?
Then what?
He cannot run away like this...
He has to be brought to the court of law....
He has to suffer the consequences of his acts....
He has to account for so many murders...
No, he cannot be spared....
He shouldn't be spared....
He is a cancer in the society....
This cancer has to be cut off from the society....
This cancer has to be cured....
Else he shall dirty the society more...
Many more innocent victims will lose their senses...
Many more their faith in the law.
The law has to be strong enough...
To bring justice to many and me.
The law needs to be strong ...
So that such demons can be annihilated.

In anticipation....
That the Law takes action quickly...
Catches the crook ...
And brings justice to the fore.

Monologue of Agni ....

Monologue of Agni ...

24th December 2011:

Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet, but it is I already. And I am to be a boy. I shall have brown hair and dark brown eyes. Just about everything is settled though, even the fact that I shall love nature.

31st December 2011:


Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is. And I am.

15th January 2012:

My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I know what my first word will be: MAMA. Mama can feel me. She is glowing.

25th January 2012:

My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest! And after many years it will tire. It will stop, and then I shall die.

29th January 2012:

I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those little legs will raise me to my mother’s arms, before these little arms will be able to gather flowers and embrace my father. Today is Mom's Birth Anniversary,,,, She is very happy... Dad was there to wish her and also bought her a chocolate cake and a crown... The Queen of his heart... I guess, he loves her a lot.

2nd February 2012:

Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are! I’ll be able to stroke my mother’s hair with them.

5th February 2012:

Mom is very happy that she has me within her .....How happy she must be! Are you happy, mom?

8th February 2012:

My mom and dad are probably thinking about a name for me.  Mom wants to name me AGNI... The fire within her..... But, Dad doesn't seem too happy. I am getting so big already.

10th February 2012:

My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder what kind of hair mom has? Dad tells her she shouldn't keep me. He says not now, later.

12th February 2012:

I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When mom brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and flowers. But what I want more than anything is to see my mom. How do you look, mom? Why doesn't Dad want me? He wants to take Mom to a doctor to take me out of her. Mom is crying.

14th February 2012:

I wonder if mom hears the whispering of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup. You’ll have a healthy little son, mom! Today is Valentines Day. Dad didn't meet Mom. He wants to get me terminated. they argued.

18th February 2012:

Today my Dad forcibly took my Mom to the Doctor and the doctor killed me. Mom cried a lot. But, no one heard her. Why did Dad kill me?




2nd June 2012:


I came back .... but this time, I didn't want to trouble Mom.... Dad had abandoned her with me within her .... She wanted to keep me forever.... But, she is too weak and frail and emotionally distraught ... she fainted and fell downstairs.... her laptop also broke .... I just decided to leave .... I can't see her sad anymore and all alone. I know she is in pain .... but she is alone and Dad doesn't care. I can't see my Mom unhappy .... she is  a fighter .... Hope she gets me justice One Day.

How do I live without you?

If you ever go ....
How do I ever live without you?
Every breath of mine ...
Exhales your name ...
You are there in my prayers ...
Day in and day out ....
How can I ever forget you?

How do I live without you?
You are my life...
You are who I am ...
You are my soul ....
You are the fire within me.

How do I live without you?
Together, we were a team ...
A formidable team ...
Strong and soft ...
Like Shiva and Parvati ...
Now, why do you make me dance the Tandav...
Changing it from Lasya.

Love was what brought us together...
Love is what keeps us together....
Yet, We are apart...
Miles apart ...
How do I live without you?

You were within me ....
You are within me...
I remember, what you gave me twice ...
A reason to live forever...
Yet, you took them away...
WHY?
How do I live without my reason to live?
Why did you kill what we had ?
Why kill the culmination of our love?
It was beautiful, the feeling of motherhood again....
Why did you snatch it away from me?

How do I live without you?
How do I live without my little angels?

Tell me HOW?

Hypnotist ...

You are the ONE ...
You are the Hypnotist ...
One ... who hooked me in his trap ....
Your eyes ... just entrapped me ...
In their enticing bond...
Am your prisoner ....
Stuck in a time warp.

O! Hypnotist ....
My Lover Boy ....
I remember your warm kisses ....
Kisses that blew me away ....
Kisses that keep me bound to you.

O! Hypnotist ...
My man of valor...
You take my breath away ...
Each time I see you ...
I can't keep my emotions intact ...
When you look at me.

My lover ...my Lord...
I pine for your touch ...
I wait upon you ...
Albeit impatiently ....
You are my whole and soul ...
You are the ultimate one ...
Till death do us apart.

Many sad returns of the day ...

My blood boils ....

My blood boils ....
At the thought of you...
In someone else's arms....
My blood bubbles over ....
When I see you with her.

Not right!

What you did wasn't right...
Nope, you shouldn't have ....
Now suffer.

All about giving up ...

You must have given up on me ...
I never gave up on you ...
You abandoned me ...
I never left you.


If it's all about .... Giving up ....
What did you give up for me?
Nothing.
I gave up everything for you.
I left everyone for you.
I did as you asked me to.
Today, am alone and you....
You are in someone else's bosom.

I never gave up on you.
You did.
You were afraid...
In your words...
You did what you did ...
As you are afraid of her...
And her manipulative ways...
You who manipulates others...
Afraid of a con woman.

Is it that you both are conning the rest....
You both are cheating the innocent?

It's all about giving up.

We thought ...

We thought he was family ....
We treated him like one ...
We loved him, adored him ...
We gave him everything ....
He just stabbed us all ...
He just used us all...
He left, never to return....
Even animals don't do that.
To term him a Dog,
Would be an insult to the canine...
For dogs are faithful...
He was just lustful...
And a stigma to the society...
By and large.

Whoosh ......

Whoosh ....
All the air was sucked out from within me ...
In one statement ....
He made me a sick woman....
A very sick woman.

"You are a mistake"...
He said ....
I looked at him....
Dumbfounded....
Not a word escaped my now dry lips ...
I could hear my heart .... Thumping ...
The same sound...
I heard ... an year ago ....
When he had proposed to me ....
And, now ....
When he just disposed me .....
Used ....
Used , like a sanitary pad ...
Used and thrown into a bin.

All the air was sucked out...
I couldn't breathe ....
I gasped for air ....
I struggled hard ....
I just lay literally dead there.

A mistake....
Just a plain mistake .

I didn't want to lose you ....

I didn't want to lose you ....
He said.....
I was happy ... for a moment ...
And, then .....
The whole world came shattering down....
For the sake of BUSINESS..... He said...
I couldn't breathe ....
I lost sense of time and space ...
A void ... A black hole  opened up ...
And swallowed me.....
 I was lost forever.

I didn't want to lose you for the sake of BUSINESS....
He said....
And, many decades were added to my face.

The colour drained from my face ...
My blood dried up ...
I heard a shrill shriek deep within ....
A woman died somewhere...
I could hear the wails of mourning ....
Somewhere a dog howled ...
Logs of wood were collected ...
Somewhere a body was burnt.

The soul roams the streets of Mumbai ...
The soul cries in vain ...
The soul screams out loud ...
People say ...
They can hear her ...
Muffled cry somewhere.

I didn't want to lose you ...
But, YOU lost me forever.

Reason behind the smile ....

He was the reason behind my smile ....
Yes, he was...
Now, no more smiles ...
Just a sad look in the eyes ...
A vacant faraway look ...
The look defies happiness...
All it does is showcase ...
A pale sad face ...
A face ravaged by his treachery  ...
A face saddened by his absence...
He was the reason behind my smile ...
He was the reason for the glow on my face...
Yes, he was.

My mornings began with him ....
My days ended beside him ...
Now, when the day begins ...
And , ends... I know not...
All I know is darkness outside and within.
He was my Sunshine ...
He promised to walk into the Sunset with me ...
He isn't there now ...
I walk alone ....
Alone in the rain ...
Tears washing down my cheeks ....
Peals of laughter from World around ....
My World .... a sad story to be told.

He was the reason behind my smile ...
He is the reason behind my fake smile today.

Met the Devil ...

Met the Devil a day ago ....
He was there with his concubine ...
The duo tried to sway me...
I stood steadfast and strong ...
Strong in my conviction...
To bring justice to this world...
A far cry ...
But, a war cry.

Met the Devil and his advocate ...
Wasn't impressed nor suppressed..
Laughed at their desperate attempts...
To malign me..
To waylaid justice and the lawmakers...
He tried hard....
God! Be there beside me...
Through thick and thin...
Be there and show me the path...
The shining path...
Don't ever let my spirits down...
It is a fight for justice ...
Down to my last breath.

Met the devil and was amused...
He was desperate...
He was whining....
He was literally crying and begging...
A beggar always...

Isn't he?

He came twice....

Yes, he came twice ...
Twice he came in my life...
But, each time he came,
He was annihilated by the devil's advocate...
He comes now...
In my dreams...
That turn into nightmares....
When the devil carries my dead baby ...
And throws him into the fires of hell.
I wish I could reverse time...
I wish I could destroy the devil...
I wish I could give justice to my dead ones...
I wish.....
I wish he would come again...
This time I shall give my life...
Protect my unborn....
Kill the devil ...
But keep my baby alive...
He was the product of our love....
He was love himself...
I glowed with him within me...
I was happy .... I was blessed...
But, the devil took him away....
The devil deserves no love...
The devil deserves no apathy....
The devil deserves to die.

He came twice...
My unborn child... he did.

Am angry, very angry....

Am angry.... very very angry...
You left me without a word....
You thought I would understand....
I don't....
I don't want to listen...
To your reasoning...
It makes no sense....
Senseless ranting...
Of your innocence...
Rogue... you are one...
You aren't innocent....
Both of you are rogues...
You and the woman....
Who claims to be yours....
The truth... the only truth...
Is that you deserve no mercy...
Not you, nor your clan....
You all deserve a painful existence....
No existence at all.

Am angry... very angry....
Posthumously yours...
But, at the end of it....
Still yours.

That nagging feeling...

That nagging feeling...
That tugging at the heart....
That nascent love....
Could it be that I was wrong?
Could it be that he really loved me?
Could it be that he didn't want to lose me, so he didn't tell me?
Could it be...?
So many ifs and buts...
No solution in sight....
A feeling of dread....
A numbness in my thoughts.

Was his love... true for me?
Was he really telling the truth?
That nagging feeling...
That dread in my heart....
That little voice deep within...
Saying, give him a chance.

Groovy love....

Yeah.... it was a groovy love...
A love to rave about...
A love to show off....
Touchwood, didn't work,,,,
All hell broke loose...
The evil eye got it's victim...
And the love fell apart.

But, was it really love....
Was it just a game....
A plan by the evil one...
To destroy me completely...
But, Why?....
What did I do to deserve this?
All I did was love selflessly...
All I did was to give of myself completely...
Body and soul....
Yet, all I got in return was....
A broken soul.
It was a groovy kind of love....
It did dig a groove....
A burial ground for me.

Nirvana....

Moksha.... Nirvana....
When do I get it....
When do I get it...
It is time to just forget...
Can't....
Can't forgive... nor forget....
Seething with rage within...
Vipasna.... that's the answer...
Nope...
That's not for me...
Total annihilation...
That's what is going to put to rest...
The questions that rear their ugly head...
In my brain all the time....
Maazi satakli re....
Need answers...
Just answers...
Till then...
The world suffers...
I guess...
Nirvana .... is the answer.

They say...

They say... Move on...
I say... I can't....
I really can't....
Everything has come to a standstill...
Am stuck in a time warp....
I can't go back...
I can't move forward...
All brakes applied...
By an unknown force...
By an unknown known being....
All chains pulled in my train of thought...
A brake applied in my vehicle of thoughts...
Nothing seems to make sense...
Am doing everything in a mechanical manner...
In Auto gear...
Just doing...
Not enjoying...
I need an answer....
Till I don't get an answer...
Am going to hang from the hangman's noose...
Looking for an answer...
Up and down the memory lane...
Here and there...
Everywhere....
Why? The question... echoes from all directions....
Why?
Tell me why? Why me?
They say... you have your life ahead...
Go on ... live your life...
I say NO....
I can't move an inch....
I need an answer to my WHY...
The day I get that answer...
I shall become calm...
But, till then...
I crusade for justice and....
Search for an answer...
I take on the world... if need be...
But, fight I shall...
Till my last breath....
I can't move on ...
Till he tells me WHY....

It's the Grand Finale....

Yes , time for the Grand Finale...
Time has come for the show to begin....
And, here it goes....
Lights, camera, action....
Fireworks...
Sparks...
Water hose...
Make up...
Loads of make up...
A script written impromptu...
The Director...
Up in the sky wondering...
What's happening...
The actors all in place....
The producer wondering....
How to finance this set up?
All wondering what next....
The Scriptwriter, just typing away words...
The actors.... wondering what to do now?
How to emote the myriad of emotions....
Written so well in the script...
The story rolls on...
Into reels....
The tragedy queen comes in front of the camera....
All lights focussed on her....
All eyes fixed on her....
She looks into the camera....
Into the eyes of the Director....
And, sheds tears of blood....
Pours her heart out....
All remain transfixed ....
Not a leaf moves....
Not a word from any quarter....
Just silence...
Pin drop silence....
She turns and walks away into the limelight....
The shadow becoming long behind her....
And, then vanishes....
Nothing remains...
Just reels of emotions....
A superhit formula for a superhit movie...
But the protagonist has moved away....
The Director jumps from his abode high above...
He commits suicide....
The movie is a superhit...
A movie by the Director....
A story gone wrong...
But the public loves it....
The tragedy queen not to be seen....
The Director.... a tormented soul in hell....
It is the Grand Finale....
Lights, Camera, Action....
CUT!

I ...

I ...
The person...
The individual...
The irrational being...
Yet a humane being...
I, the one with anger within...
I, the one with love within too...
I, the giver....
I, the undertaker...
I,... me,... myself....
Which one is me?
Which is the tormented soul?
Which is the evangelist?
A deep thought...
No answer...
Just questions...
No guide....
No checklist...
Just a design to carve....
A path to pave.

Where do I go from here?
Where have I reached?
No clues....
Just questions...
To which there are no answers.

I ...
I am a big question mark....
A query...
I ask myself each day....
Who or what am I?
Where does this journey end?
What do I achieve each day?
What do I end up being?

I am a butterfly....
Metamorphosing each day....
Turning within the cocoon...
Changing shape each moment...
Getting wings ...
Clipped wings...
How do I fly?
I need to fly...
To complete the cycle of life and death.

I need to fly...
Fly, fly, fly away.

Flashbacks....

Lightening flashes somewhere in the distant....Am transported to a different realm... A place I have been with him.... Lush green trees ... A land nestled amongst small hills... Fog, mist.... Misty eyed I turn around... He isn't there.... Just footprints in the mud.... Reminder, he was there once beside me... walking hand in hand... Mouthing odes to my beauty and expressing undying love. 


Flashbacks... The rains bring them on.... driving through the hills... dark night... not an inch ahead to be seen... treacherous turns... yet I was content and safe with him then and thereafter till today... When he ain't there and won't be forever.... He came like a whiff of perfume and left ... vaporized in thin air... I was left gasping for breath... Senseless and dead.

Flashbacks... Of the first night... the Lobster at Tunga, Hiranandani Powai.... The coffee at Aromas.... The meetings at CCD Hiranandani... The wantons at China Ming... The Hub and the late night movies... the holding of hands.... The sweet kisses... the culmination of two beings into one.. The promises of happily ever after... All a distant dream... Just flashbacks.

Remembering each moment... recalling each instance... a painful thought... but flashbacks are all I have.... memories that will keep me awake till the moment I finally close my eyes forever.

He had said... where are the ones who professed their love to you? I ask him... where are you? You professed your love to me too?

Flashbacks ... heavy sinking heart... and no respite... no where to go.... Just a living hell each day... smiling a fake smile for the world... yet weeping deep within.

He says...

He says he loves me...
He says he cares about me...
Yet, why is he so unsure?
Why is he so far?

He is there always...
But, far too far....
Too far to be called...
When in need.

He says ... he is there...
But, he isn't...
He is just a ghost...
 A reminder... from the past....
Of treachery and impotence...
Of guilt and anger.

No, he isn't there...
He can never be there...
He is gone...
Lost forever...
I don't see him...
I shall never see him.

Dust...

No matter what I do...
No matter How I do it...
The dust remains....
The human remains....
Difficult to erase memories...
Painful existence remains.

No matter what I do...
No matter How I do it...
The scars remain....
Reminding me each day ...
Each moment revisited....
Each pain experienced again and again and again...
Each moment, each day.

Life goes on....
People come and go..
I search for that face....
I keep looking....
Here, there, everywhere....
Disappeared... Vanished into thin air....
All that remains is memories...
The scars... The others...
The others who constantly remind you...
Of his treachery ...
You can only smile with a tear in your eye.

They ask... Why tears?

You say.... DUST....

Yeh rishta kya kehlata hai....

Tootey dhaagey...
Kachche dhaagey...
Ek khichanv...
Toot gaye...
Wapas jodey toh kaise joodey...
Jood naa paye kabhi....
Do ajnabee....
Ek dujey ke liye baney thei kabhi...
Aaj raah pe mil ke bhi mil naa payenge.

Yeh rishta...
Anokha bandhan...
Anmol rishta tha kabhi....
Aaj bus a bandhan hai....
Tootey rishton ka bandhan....
Galey se nikli ek awaaz ka saaz...
Jo kisi ne chipaa diya.

Allah nek hai...
Uparwala sab jaante huye bhi...
Nazarein pher raha hai...
Jaane kis janam ka ber hai...
Jo aaj meher aur karam...
Se marhoom rakh raha hai.


Do dil...
Jo ab shayad kabhi jud na payein...
Ek apni raah chala gaya...
Duja bhikhar kar reh gaya...
WEk aabad ho gaya...
Duja banjar or baanjh ban gaya.

Waah kya rishta tha...
Waah ji kya rishta hai....
Ek aabaad...Dooja barbaad...

Silent night...

Eerily silent night...
Suddenly am awakened...
By the piercing scream of a child...
My unborn ones.....
Screaming ....
Asking for justice....
Every night....
Through the day....
I go through hell....
I seek justice for the unborn....
The unborn whom he killed....
He killed with his lies....
He killed with an evil smile....
While I lay there...
Writhing in pain....
He killed my babies...
One by one...
I lay helpless....
In a hazy world...
He lay beside me....
In his world.

Silent nights....
Beckon me to seek revenge...
Blood for blood...
Every drop must count.
A tear for a tear....
Every drop must count....
An eye for an eye....
Every painful moment to be accounted for.

Crying my heart out....

Aloud...
Loud...
Open mouthed...
I want to cry my heart out....
I can't...
I want to...
Yet I can't.
Buried deep within...
Spurned by the devil....
My heart wants to shout out...
Scream ....
I want what was mine...
My self...
My self esteem....
My self confidence...
Give my life back to me....
Give my happiness to me....
Why did you take it all away...
I was happy and content....
In My life....
Why did you come?
Why did you lie to me?
Why you did...
What you did?
Why me?
Why?

Trembling lips...

Trembling lips....
Shivering lips...
Tears behind the lashes....
All asking one question...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

A lump in my throat....
Words fail me...
All I can utter is...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

All gaze upon me...
Asking ...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

A silent cry..
A silent symphony...
Sounding...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

Nothing exists...
No room...
No audience....
Just questions...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

A sign...
Just a sign...
Trembling lips...
Asking...
WHY? WHY? WHY?

Tears...

Tears... they hang there...
Ready to be shed....
Some already shed...
Leaving a mark on my cheeks.


A silence....
An interminable silence....
Envelopes the room....
Shrouded with the mystery....
The mystery of my tears.


I shed my tears for the unfaithful....
I shed it for you....
For you are long gone and dead....
No feelings left within you.


On the eve of our first meeting...
I shed tears for that fateful day...
The day that left me fateless today.


Time has stood still for me....
The Universe has stopped...
The day you left me...
And today....
All seem the same...
A void...
An empty space...
A black hole.

You left me with painful memories...
Memories that kill me each moment...
Unanswered questions...
The answers to which I seek.

Tears well up in my eyes...
All I do is look around...
Searching for you ...
But, You are gone...
In another pair of arms...
Leaving me forlorn.

Drizzle... Dazzle... Dangle....

Dangling from the ceiling fan....
She sees it all....
The drizzle outside....
The dazzle of flashes within...
In the room .....
And deep within...
In the core of her heart.

She can't say a word...
Not now...no more...
When she tried to say....
She was silenced....
She was laughed upon...
She had no choice...
When all turned their backs on her...
The law of the land seemed impotent.....
She walked away ....
Into her room...
And, lo! Here she dangles....
Like a scarecrow....
And the law remains ....
Unabashedly shame faced.

He walks in the rain...
Holding another hand....
He has his devilish grin...
Free as a bird....
No care for all his sins.

A distant painful memory....

You have become a distant painful memory...
A memory to be erased...
A memory that brings pain ...
A memory that brings tears...
A memory that I relive each day...
A memory that I ignite every moment...
A memory that needs to be punished ....
A memory that will remain.

Time cannot heal this wound...
Time is not permanent...
This wound is...
This pus oozing scar is....
What remains.
You ruined it all...
Just for a few pennies more...
You ruined it all...
Just for a few lustful moments...
You ruined it all....
For your worldly pleasures....
Just your pleasures.

You and your talks...
High fundamental talks...
Talks that swayed me...
Talks that betrayed my emotions...
Talks that betrayed me ultimately.
Why me? Why did you do this to me?
I placed you on a pedestal....
I adored you...
I adorned your name on my self...
I worshipped the ground you tread upon...
I loved you....
You just threw it all away....
In a moment....
I was lifeless...
Dead beat lifeless...
A zombie walking the streets....
A feelingless woman asking for justice.

I asked you Why/
You laughed it off....
I wept left bereft....
You walked away holding someone else's hand.
I was left behind....
Clutching my bleeding womb....
I was left behind...
Barren and a woman forlorn.

A distant painful memory...
You ought to be...
Yet I hold on to thoughts of you...
Hoping hopelessly for your return...
A far fetched thought...
A wish for being together again.

This too shall pass ...

This too shall pass ... He says...
I don't think so...
It shall remain as others...
Etched in my memory ....
A scratch .... a bleeding scratch ...
Turning into a scar as always.

It won't pass...
It ain't a graduation ... that can pass...
Life ain't so beautiful as it seems....
People aren't faithful as they seem....
They come and go in your life...
Nothing is permanent...
Everything is destroyed.....
Memories remain of ravages of time....
Scars that turn sore always.

Every moment is a painful one...
Remembering the faith I had..
The trust betrayed....
The feelings frayed....
Tears roll down for the unborn...
The product of a lasting love...
A love that has disappeared into the oblivion...
No trace no trail....
Just ugly scars.

This too shall pass...
The painful scars remain....
reminding me of love lost...
Making me bitter and sad....
No, it won't pass...
It will remain embedded...
Deep in my heart....
A bleeding wound...
A sad story to be told and retold...
To generations to come.

Nothing left to say ...

Nothing left to say ...
Nothing to feel ...
Just a vague memory ...
Of days bygone ...
Life comes a cropper ...
 When memory fails ...
Feelings die ...
People move away ...
Paving way for tears to stream down.

Thank goodness... for the rains...
The rains ... wash the salt away ...
Thank goodness for the gust of wind...
The wind blows the tear dry.

Two lost souls...
Two unborn hearts ...
Beating hearts ... silenced...
Forever and ever.
A mother's bleeding heart crying...
Crying for justice ...
Not in sight ....
 Just an emptiness ...
A broken woman ...
Walking all alone ...
All fingers pointing at her ...
Not one supporting her ...
 A mother crying within ...
Solitary in her quest ...
The silent crusader moves on ...
A firm belief in the maker of all beings ..
A belief in power supreme...
Justice is awaited ...
Who will give her the one she seeks?

No words ... nothing left to say....
The devil laughs ...
The darkness envelopes her ...
She disappears into the oblivion.

Gone with the wind,,,

Gone far away...
Blown away with the gust of wind...
The feathers of my wings...
Gone with the wind.

Deep within ....
A sadness dwells...
An anger ready to ruin all...
There is not a soul to confide in...
Not a soul to trust.

The man....
I trusted...
The man I married in all faith...
The man whom I gave all....
Left me...
Bereft of any feelings and barren.

The almighty looked on..
 While he took me as his soulmate...
The mighty one smiled...
I was happy in his arms.
 He promised me a bed of roses....
He hid thorns within...
I bled when he laid me upon it...
 Am bleeding still.

The Lord watched... helpless...
His subject in pain....
The devil laughing away to glory...
The woman sobbing alone in rain.
God's gift within her...
Destroyed by him...
The demon ravaged her life....
Pulled her heart away from her bosom...
She lay there on the path...
Passersby pitying her...
Some with deep scorn and loathe...
Others just laughing at her foolhardiness.

She got up...
Walked that extra mile....
Asked the lord for justice...
None came her way...
She took to arms ...
And is fighting a lone battle...Against all odds...
Yet silent, resilient and strong.

She has a long way to go....
Gone with the wind are her dreams....
Blown away to smithreens...
Just a ligament remains....
An attachment...
 Which once was called love....
Save that she has nothing left....
A soulless entity she has become.

The Editor...

The Editor.....
He has something in his mind....
Why does he write fun...
And then erase it all the time.

The Editor....
He has something to project....
But all he does is eject....
The feelings from our minds....
So that someone can reject....
The feelings that were mine.

The Editor...
Has something in store for me....
What that is ... is not known....
But, deep within I fathom the greatness....
It shall come someday...
Acalling, knocking at my door...
But, will I be there to open that door?

The Editor....
I anll his honesty bestowed happiness upon me....
Only to snatch it away when all was well...
But, lurking deep behind that joy...
Was my untimely death.

The Editor....
He sent the demon in my life....
The demon used and abused me....
I was left bruised and in pain...
The devil walked away....
The Editor....
Did he shed tears of blood ...
Or just smiled at my apathy...
I dunno why... But he has a plan....
The Editor... has a plan indeed....
I can see the bigger picture...
Do or die.... I shall remain....
 In the hearts and minds of people forever....
The woman jilted in love...
The woman scorned and spurned for righteousness.

The Editor ....
 Doesn't he know.... That pen is mightier than sword...
I have the pen in my hand...
I shall write my fate alone.

My story...
Published or not....
is already a bestseller...
the World abuzz with anecdotes....
The world abuzz wjth stories untrue....
My story shall reveal all....
I shall live no more....
Yet my legend shall live on.

Whether I become the scum of the Earth...
Or, rise from my ashes....
I shall reign supreme...
Coz'I never wavered from my path.
 My path covered with thorns....
Bleeding yet smiling I move on...
The end I know not...
Beginning this is of the New Dawn....
The Don rises from the shadows of her being....
The smile giving way to anger...
The teeth clenched...
The fists ready to give a blow....
The World needs this DON... The Dawn of a new Era.

The Editor....
Shall get his story...
I shall make mine.