Anomalies in Love ..

You research on Anomalies in Heat Capacity ...
Try some research on your Heart  Capacity...
The love consummated in the Heat of the moment...
Those nights spent till dawn ...
Fawning over love all night long.
The capacity of your Heart and the heat of the moment ...
The Anomaly in the Love it brought about.

The Truth you couldn't take...
Yet falsifying your own existence ...
The anomaly in your feelings ..
The Anomaly of your thoughts.

The Anomaly in our Love ...
Is your Cowardice ...
Which you cover up in guise so vile ...
People think you are kind ....
Not knowing your real Kind.

Yet, the wo,an loves you for your mind ..
Caste , creed , age no bar ...
She waits upon your anomalies to discard.

The love you promised her ...
Your outstretched arms ...
Ready to embrace her ...
Anomalies in arms.

Intensity of Love ...

The love he showered upon her has become a curse. She can't forget him , neither can she forgive him his decision.

The intensity that sparked the relationship remains but the partners shrivelled in their shells of human intentness and a sociology of caste, creed and myths.

The myth he believes in and follows yet when it comes to him he continues his spam yet when it comes to her he invokes societal pressure and his conscience.

He can say and be what he wants to; but when it comes to her, she ought to be pure and true. Her true self showing but his lies intense and perpetrating foolhardy at his own fakeness not withstanding. What double standards!

He is allowed his mask but not her. Why?

The Intensity with which he showered his love upon her; where has it gone? She waits for him to realise his mistake and return. He waits for her death. For she has seen his vulnerability. A witness to his real self. He can't let her escape his bloody claws yet stares deep down her heart to vilify her.

Her love for him shall remain as words for all to read. For her love was true and stands true even today. she destroys herself each moment dying a thousand deaths in his memory.

On the path to destruction she only finds more hearts ready for her intense love; she thwarts them all, waiting for him, pining for him is her fate. Her fate is the coffin she sees in her dreams ; made of deep red roses and white lillies. She smells death every moment ... she whiles her time waiting for death.

That is the intensity of love .... destroying what belongs only to him for him, in his memories. She shall die with his name upon her lips and tattooed on her heart. Her embalmed body waiting forever for him to consign her to flames.

There lies the beauty, the Beast of night confined her, chained her in his love , stuck to his name and deeds ; she lies there stoic in her silence yet words speak volumes in her statements here.

The intensity of love ... miles apart yet so near. Two hearts living yet dead forever.

Stuck between the Devil & The Deep Blue Sea ...

The Devil is the one I love ...
The deep blue Sea is where I am drowning in ...
Stuck between the decision to stay put ...
Or, move on.


Why do I love the Devil?
Why do I wait upon him?
Why? Oh, Why do I suffer?
Why do I make myself so vulnerable?


He pretends he doesn't care...
But, deep down he does....
So what if he is the Devil...
I know he loves me like no other.


He is hurting for the words I spake....
My words hurt him a lot ...
I am hurting too ..
So, I am killing myself by the second ...
Each moment , my last ...
Then I shall be gone forever ...
Then what shall he miss?
Nothing amiss but my words ...
My sanity lost ..
I search him ....
Insanity my bane ...
A curse so banal ...
I writhe in pain each moment.

Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea ...
I am lost in an oblivion ...
Oblivious of the shame ...
My words bring upon me.

Once again... The wings are eager to spread out ...

Like the Albatross,
Wing spanning far and wide ...
I rise ...
Soaring high in the sky ...
Amongst the clouds...
Gliding down to Earth.

The wing spanning ....
Crooked moutains ,
Desseret areas
.... Rivers na shallow brooks ..
Grns and petakThat;s me ... al mine

Buss kuch hai ri kahani ..
lambi kahan ...
sunn lo yoj safar kutt jayegg

The Story as it goes ...

The saga began a long time ago ....
Never to end ...
Each time a different tale to tell ....
Each time a different story to begin ....
The story as it goes ....
Is the story of love ....
A journey that never ends.

The main Character stays ...
The others ...
They play their part and leave ...
All return at various intervals ...
Only to be thwarted ...
The advances turned a blind eye to ...
For they gave up their roles.

A story begins ...
Sometimes in Winter ...
Sometimes in Spring ...
At times during Monsoons ...
And, almost everyday.

Love never ends ...
It comes in full bloom ...
Different hues and colours each time ...
But, never ends.

A new lover each time ...
A new meaning to the word Love ...
But, never Lust ...
Pure and simple Love ...
With a twist each time.

For there are flowers ...
Of different colours and fragrance ...
We love them all ...
Prefer a  few ...
Love is the same .....
A Flower...
Each time different.

The Story ...
My Love story is nothing new ...
Yet it is different ....
 A ladder step at a time ...
Miles of yarn ...
Storeys of a building to climb ...
A new web spun of words ...
Catharsis and pain ...
Yet a new gain each time ...
A new experience.

The Story as it goes ...
Ages with mildew and time ...
My time on Earth ...
Worthwhile while it lasts.

The Professor of Science ...
Loveth the Professor of Words and verses ...
He knows not what else to do ...
So peeps in from to time.
That's the power of True Love ...
Our Love Story ...
The saga continues.

The French Connection ....

Aromatic breads, buns, cakes and pies ........
Yeah,


My French Connection is all about ................
Passion, Pride and Justice .



A long story, forgotten ...
But a new one written ...
Love you My French Man ...
Love you Professor .

His Pain ...

His pain ...
It makes it impossible to move on ...
His rantings on love lost ...
Make the heart sad ...
My love lost amidst the chaos of confusion ...
He my love is saddened by the fact ...
That I left him...
Whereas the blatant truth is ...
I never left ...
He found happiness elsewhere.
I waited that night ...
I wait still ...
The night never ended ...
But, yes one life ended ..
A woman never became herself again ...
She lost track of time ...
Her goals and aspirations ...
She remains sozzled in wine and liquor ...
Hallucinogens to keep her company ...
For what she lost was not just love ...
She lost her Self Esteem.

Her dreams ...
Her hope ...
Her love ...
 Lost forever ...
But, most important ...
Her trust and faith gone ...
She walks around as though a Ghost ..
A pale version of a beauty that has faded ...
Into the oblivion.

His pain...
She has taken upon herself ...
She hurts herself each day ...
She dies a thousand deaths  each day ...
She lives no more ...
She exists. Period.

Fidelity ...

What do you know of Fidelity ?

A word so ambiguous ...
The very meaning a whorous  chorus of blasphemy.
The word doesn't sound good coming from your vocal chords.
What do you know fidelity is?
All your life ...
an Incredulous Bum ...
You put to shame the name of Love.

You hurt ...
How Ironical !
Yes, you Hurt the one who waits upon you ...
The one who trusted you to the very core of her being.
She hurts each moment ...
Living yet so dead ...
Embellishing herself with jewelry of want...
Desirous of only you.
She waits each day ...
She numbs her senses to sleep ...
Addicted to hallucinogens ...
She dreams of only you.

She waits upon you ...
Visits your hunting grounds ...
Looks at the frivolity of your words and being ...
She kills her thoughts ...
In smoke she disappears ....
In wine she seeks solace ...
Yet, no peace reaches her ...
Her very being torn to shreds by your Infidelity.

Fidelity is all she sought ...
You raped her sense and sensibilities.

Heart Break ...

A silent prayer ...
For the bleeding heart I own ...
All the faith ...
All that trust ...
In smithereens ...
A bullet so sharp ...
It blew the heart apart ...
A trust broken ...
Never allowing it to mend itself.

Eyes brimming with tears ...
Salty water all set to flow ..
No, Woman , be ye strong ...
For he didn't deserve your Love ...
He doesn't deserve these tears too.
they are precious ...
But, a lesson learnt ...
Never trust a man again.

Will never smile again ...
The gay abandon ...
The exuberance lost ...
The butterfly's wings clipped ...
A trust betrayed..

Heart Break ...
I swear will never love again.

Still Hungover ...

Yes, am still hungover ...
And in ecstasy.

The ecstasy of a pure love ...
that never demands ...
The hangover of a love ...
That hurts itself ...
But give out only love.

Yes, this is true love ...
When all you do is...
Wait upon the one ...
Who is hurting too ...
Return O' lost one ...
for you belong to me ...
To my loneliness ...
You are the only hope.

You watch over me ...
You read me ...
Yet, you remain in the shadows ...
You are the only love I crave ...
Yours is the only love  I desire.

Am still hungover ....
Hung over in your love ...
The passion ...
My Lover ...
My life in your hands.

Yet another tale begins ...

What is it in the air?
What is it that makes me smile?
What is it that makes me happy?
Love .. It is all about Love, my Love!
Yes, Love is in the air,
I am madly and insanely in love ...
Head over heels in love ...
Blame it on the raging hormones ...
Blame it on the autumn wind ...
Blame it on the falling leaves ...
Blame it on the chill in the air ...
Nothing but Love moves the World for me ....
Yes! I am in Love once again ...
All over , yet another tale begins.
All cares, to the winds ...
Just love smacked look in the eyes ...
An amorous unison on the cards ...
Yet, another tale begins.

Having Known You ..

Having known you ....
Has led me to believe ...
None other can ever make me happy but you.
You and you alone are the basis ...
Of the happiness I chose to reveal to the World ...
The World but a heap of Dust and play ...
Is not my cup of Tea ...
Your presence in my life is all that matters.

In the end after all...
This mortal being remains no more ...
Sagged and bowed down ....
The mortality showing.

You and I ....
A medley to be seen ...
Melting into each others arms ...
It never occurred before ...
Might not happen ever ...
Yet the trance you put me in ...
I glow in its glory ...
Shining each day ...
Smiling every moment.


Having known you is the best thing ...
That happened to me.

Why are you Reading me Sweetheart ?

Why are you reading me?
Honey, You left ...
There is no need to read me ....
There is no more chapter on you ...
That chatter that banter with you ...Yes, just about you and Me ...
Don't waste your time ....
I am but your history.

My honesty cost me my love ...

I lost him...
Because I was way too honest with him ....
I lost him to ...
My outright bluntness...
I lost him to my conscience ...
I lost him to my fidelity.

I lost him to my forthright bluntness...
I lost him to my Honesty.

My honesty cost me my love.

I wait upon him ...
For it to dawn upon him ...
Had I wanted , I could have gone on with lies ...
As he does ...
But, No! I couldn't...
I woudn't lie to get his love in my kitty.

My love is an obsession ...
For him, I would do anything ...
Anything to keep him happy ...
If it pleases him...
That I stay away ...
I keep away ...
It hurts me to see him with others ...
But, yet deep within ...
A nagging feeling says ...
 he too wants me ...
Yet, his abominable male ego ...
Stops him from committing.

Yes, I hurt him ...
He hurt me too .,..
 He hurts me each day ...
 I take it with a pinch of salt ...
I drug myself to unconsciousness ..
I drink my blues away ...
I try to forget him ...
A next to impossible task.

My honesty cost me my love.

HE speaks from his heart ...

Yes, that one friend ...
The pillar and my strength ...
Soft heart ...
A big flirt ...
But an  honest man ...
Lovable, likable ...
Honourable ...
A husband to be jealous of ...
Yes, My Friend speaks from his Heart.

People miscontrue his intentions ...
His heart is clean ...
He is clean ...
A clear conscience ...
No guilt if you are right ...
That's the man I speak of ...
My friend ...
He speaks from his Heart.

See your Watch and Tell the truth ...

See your watch and tell the truth ...
Before the Strongman blows the Horn.

That is what ought to happen ...
Whether it be love or ...
Whether it be truth to be told ...
Why carry a grouse ...
Why hold grudges ...
Why dig graves ...
Why spin webs ...
Just let go or accept.

It is easy to point a finger at another and cry Wolf ...
Look within, what hides behind your grin.

Look at your Swiss watch ...
See the needles moving ...
Whirring away while in time ...
Reminding you of your deeds and misdeeds.

You put the blame on a soul...
That trusted you with truth ...
One who opened up to you ...
In return you blithe her name ...
You antagonise her with hooligans ....
Telling them your secrets ...
Being the sad one here ...
Agonising over what can be ...
You have dug your own grave ...
See your Watch and tell the truth ...
Before the Strongman blows the horn. 

Cutie Beauty ...

Remembering this term of Endearment ....
Cutie Beauty ...
He would refer to me as ...
For all his love was supposedly bestowed upon me.
Little did I know...
That I was just another fish in the pond of the con man ....
A con man from France called ...
ChandraShekhar Pati Tripathi ...
Telling women...
You are the only one who knows my reality ...
And, telling in messages and mails ...
Making each one feel special ...
Conned as Cutie Beauties.

He poses as a pious man ...
A man of integrity ...
Putting to shame the family name ...
That he proudly wears as a crown.

Ah! The con man ...
The beauty of his expertise ...
Words that pacify ...
Words that seduce ...
He uses them all ...
And, ensnares the girls.

When his game was exposed ...
All he did was whine and cry ...
A sordid tale of his contempt ...
For the one who trusted him so much.

Cutie Beauty can wield a Sword ...
A pen that exposes him...
In her heart she still holds though ...
Feelings soft for him.

छोटू गणेश

इसी नाम से पुकारा करते थे वो हमें ...
छोटू गणेश ...

लड्डू का भोग लगते...
प्यार की मीठी बातें करते....
हम उन बातों में खो जाते ...
छोटू गणेश का प्यार ...
सोनू त्रिपाठी ...

देवरिया का इतिहास....
सोनपुर में पैदाइश ...
अल्लाहाबाद में शिक्षा ..
लखनऊ के नवाब ...
अब फ्रांस की शान ...
छोटू गणेश का प्यार ...
चंद्रशेखर पति त्रिपाठी....
एक अदद नाटककार....
वैज्ञानिक कलाकार

An Indian Spy in France?

Such low profile...
Worried about his identity ..
Knowledge of all the protocols...
Could he be ...
Could he possibly be a Spy?
Operating mostly in twilight hours...
Night time...
His favourite playground....
Social sites...
Scrolling up and down others pages ...
Googling ...
Swooning over girls ...
Jerking it off while chatting to them ...
All his frustrations met with ...
Annihilated dreams ..
Could he  be ...
Could he possibly be an Indian spy in France?

Through the shifting sands of time ...
I have sifted your profile ...
No history to back up your claims ...
No geography that holds you back ...
Like another spy on the prowl ...
Today you prowl the Lawns of Lyon ...
What is it that the labs hold there?
Or is it, like all else ...
You a re a spy for some ulterior purpose?

You become exasperated upon queries ...
Th word Lyon sends shivers up your spine ...
You are hiding something ...
In that Hiding lies the answer.

You are an Indian Spy in France ...
The motive known to you.

The Marigold doesn't bloom here anymore ...

Bright yellow, sometimes orange ...
Blooms large and small...
A poignant smug parfum' ...
The Marigold doesn't bloom here anymore .

The one that is used to worship ..
To adorn your doors and floors ...
That , that Marigold ...
Doesn't bloom here anymore.

There was a time ..
When aplenty grew the flower in the valley ...
Now, all you see is weeds ...
For the heart of Earth is no more.

Man, with his unkind greed ...
Has raped the Earth of its bounties ...
Leaving barren wombs of fields ...
Where nothing grows no more.

The Marigold, it doesn't bloom here anymore.

You Read Me ...

Sixty two page views ...
Why?
What makes you come back here and read me ?
What will you gain by reading me?
Each time , you shall find ...
Only your name imprinted in each word that I shed ...
Each word that I bleed ...
My heart knows no one else but you ...
Your thoughts an obsession ....
Without you the World makes no sense.

You Read Me ...
Yet you run away from me ...
What is it that you seek ?
A sadistic pleasure in my trauma?
The exhilaration that someone really dotes over you ...
The euphoric feeling of manhood ...
What a shame it is ...
That you distance yourself from true love ...
To seek Artificial smiles ...
To gain false love from fake people.

You Read me for what purpose?
To run away from the emptiness of your World?
The words of a genius ...
Entrapped within a coarse set of people ...
Why do you subject yourself to gullibility ...
When you are set for a higher goal?

The purpose of your life sorted out ...
No. never with the kind you associate with ...
That is not you ...
You are above them all ...
You read me ...
To find yourself...
You read me ...
Seeking that seeker within.

I am aware ...

I am aware you are reading me ...
Are you aware I love you ...
I know it is absurd in your eyes ...
But, this love is true...
You can't love a person if you don't respect him or her ...
It is not about your love ...
It is all about my respect for you and ...
My undying love for you.
Il told you ...
I fell in love with you ...
So I told you my reality ...
There is no conning in telling the truth...
What I feel for you is not lust ...
I crave your presence ...
Not for lustful gains ...
But for discussions on any and everything ...
I have found my match only in you ....
Someone who can hold his own and yet be mine ....
I visit far away places in my imagination ...
Far and wide I travel with you beside me in my imagination ...
Discussing the art & architecture,
Cuisine and Scientology ...
I discuss everything under the Sky with you.

They say I have gone insane ...
Smiling all by myself ...
Walking away into the unknown ...
They have given up all hope ...
They say I am dying ...
A slow death ...
Substance abuse has become my weakness ...
You revolve all around me ...
I can't forget that ...
So I drug myself to a forced sleep ....
They say I am dying ...
I have no sense of the World ...
abdicating all my responsibilities ...
Yet smiling all the time ...
Wandering into the Woods ...
Talking to an imaginary companion ...
They are waiting for me to die ...
For them there is no hope ...
They don't know what is eating me within ...
I just keep walking and ...
Talking to myself.

I am aware you are aware ....
Yet you remain far away ...
No emotions ...
No feelings ...
So I turn my face away ...
And, get back into my surreal imaginary World...
Where besides me ...
You are happy and I am happy too.

That naughty laugh ...

Yes! he laughs uncontrollably ...
An innocent naughty laugh ....
When in a good mood ...
At cruising speed his car...
He talks to me hours on ...
No, correction needed here ...
He used to have  a healthy banter with me ...
Now, no more  do we talk ...
Now, no more do I laugh ...
Now, no more do I smile ...
All sparkle gone with the festival of lights ...
Torn apart from his life and soul .

Thousands of miles apart ...
I wonder now what he does ...
For, we spoke endlessly till dawn ...
Breaking all records.

Silly talks ...
Even sillier jokes ...
But a  love unparalleled....
A spirit bejewelled.
His laughing face ...
Naughtiness dripping from his eyes ....
A disarming smile ...
Large frame ...
A bear hug so warm to feel ...
All in imagination ...
Being in his arms ...
Listening to his rap ...
Just feeling safe there ...
Cuddling and snuggling for warmth.

That naughty laugh ....
Ringing in my ears ...
I wonder what went wrong...
Still not clear.

I am Hurting ...

For no fault of mine ...
You found faults in me ...
Yes! I am hurting ...
Your behaviour was uncalled for ...
An act that betrayed mistrust  and infidelity on your part ...
I waited as I wait today too ...
For you to realize your mistake.

I agree you were there ...
When I was in pain ...
You showed you cared ...
Where has that concern gone now ...
When someone else is in your vision?

A festival took place ...
I wanted it to be special for us ...
No, you weren't there for me...
You were never there when I really really needed you.

Today also, you claim...
To drown yourself in liquor ..
I don't do that ...
For none can replace you ...
Neither Liquor nor another ...
I gave you what was sacred ...
An unflinching faith and love ...
In return you stabbed me with a shattered bottle of Beer.
'
What was Dear to you?

You showed it in your crass and nude behaviour ...
I waited upon you as I do today ...
But, you never came near.
You found solace in another ...
Crying your heart out ...
I wept within ...
A bold front for the World to see.
For I desire no sympathy ...
Nor gain a fan following ...
I desire fidelity ...
which you failed to deliver.

I am Hurting ...
I will hurt furthermore ...
For I surrendered my all to you ...
Seldom done before.

I am Hurting ...
I am loving the pain given by you ...
It is dear to me ...
Very close to my heart.

काश ...

काश की हमने बेवफाई की होती...
यूं बेइंतेहा दर्द न सहना पडता ...
कोई और तो होता आंसूं पोछने के लिए..
कोई और होता अपना बनाने के  लिए...
 ...काश...
हमने सच में बेवफाई की होती...
न ये दिन देखते ...
न ये तन्हाई ...
सुकून का दिया जलाये बैठे होते ...
किसी और का दिल जले ये क्या सोचते ...
काश हमने सच में बेवफाई की होती...
तुम तोह अपना ग़म मयखाने में हल्का कर आगे ...
हम किस ओर मुड़ें सोचते हैं?
शायद कोई आस बाकी हो ...
शायद अब भी प्यास बाकी हो ...
पर पत्थर के दिल नहीं होता ...
सुना था आज देख भी लिया.
काश... हमने बेवफाई ही की होती 

Chill in the Air ... Yes! Winter is here...

The augmenting of the weather forecast ...
A slip of tongue for many ...Despite the many devices ...
Man has no control over Nature's fury.
A man made disaster ...
Ready to unfold ...
I can sense it in the air ...
A chilly nip in the air ...
Yes, Winter is here ....
Bringing with it a harsh and cold reality.

Leaves falling from the trees ...
Sentinels standing guard ...
till when is the question ...
Smog in the air ...
Crunch goes a sound beneath my feet ..
Yes, Winter is here.

Squeezing their arms together ...
People running around with their daily chores ...
No smiles ... just frowns ...
Every man, woman and child in despair.
And, here I am ...
Cocooned in my shell ....
Typing away words ...
Hidden in my lair.

I get ready to tackle the World tomorrow...
The Big Bad World ..
The little Red Riding Hood in me ...
Wears her Monkey cap ...
Wraps her woolen scarf around her neck ...
Her polo neck sweater ...
Her trademark dress ...
Jeans and boots to match ...
Yeah! All set to tackle Winter ...
All set to tackle despair ..
All set to tackle the Wolf in Sheep's skin.
Yes! Winter is here ...
So am I ...
All ready to enjoys the chill in the air.

Happy Memories ...

I turn back time ...
Happy days despite physical pain ...
Coz' you were there ...
I look at your crazy poses ...
In photos taken on  a whim and fancy ...
Am lost in the haze of bygone memories.

If they were ever made ...
They were mere words ...
But, they were said ...
I remember each word...
The laughter ...
The fun joking around.

The songs that blared ...
That hurt my eardrum...
Yet were sweetness abound ...
I remember the love we shared
The jokes we made ...
We were so happy...
We were content ...
What happened to those days ?
What happened to happiness?

It is not in my hand to turn back time ...
It is not me that needs to take that extra step now ...
I died the moment he sought solace elsewhere...
Thinking I was gone.

I flip through the memories ...
I slide through cracks ...
Getting a glimpse of him here and there ...
I plunge deep in despair.

I never left ...

I never left ...
You walked away ...
I waited like I always do ...
As I am waiting today too ...
Knowing well...
You won't come back ...
You won't realize what you didn't do ....
You drowned yourself in expressing rot ...
You drowned in liquor ...
I waited ...
What was it that pushed me away ...
You saying No time for me.
Today you have ample time to deplore my anger ...
But no time to look within....
See inside the beasteality of your actions ...
How you drove her away.


Whole day you ensured she suffered ...
No not your words ...
But your suffering made her sad....
Instead of being there for her ...
You drove her away.
She hovered around ...
I the hope you would turn around ...
You didn't ...
You went away to find solace elsewhere ..
she was left alone ...
Waiting upon you.

Se never left ...
She is still there ..
Just hiding in her cocoon ...
Shivering from your cold behaviour ...
She is lying there ...
Every breath an effort ....
She never left ....
YOU left .

What did you lose?
Nothing.
She lost her dream ...
A dream to be loved ...
A dream of fidelity ...
A dream of being held close ...
'You drowned in Alcohol...
she drowned in her own sorrows.

Bereft of love ...
Pain numbing her ...
She lies there ...
Heartbroken...
She never left ..
I never left ...
YOU Left.

कुछ उसूलन इस तरह बना ली है ज़िन्दगी मैंने...

कुछ उसूलन इस तरह बना ली है ज़िन्दगी मैंने ...
ज़िंदा होते हुए भी मौत का कफ़न औढ लिया मैंने ...

जिस तरह उमने रहगुज़र की ज़िन्दगी...
मेरी नहीं है ऐसी बंदगी ....
इसलिए अब वक़्त हो चला है कुछ बंधन तोड़ने का....
राह से राहगीरों को हटाने के लिए...
कुछ उसूलन इस तरह बना ली है ज़िन्दगी मैंने ...

ज़िंदा होते हुए भी मौत का कफ़न औढ लिया मैंने ...

बहुत दूर नज़र आते हैं मंज़र प्यार के ...

अब और नहीं सह सकते ये दर्द उल्फत के ...

इसलिए ...

कुछ उसूलन इस तरह बना ली है ज़िन्दगी मैंने ...
ज़िंदा होते हुए भी मौत का कफ़न औढ लिया मैंने ...

एक कश्ती थी जो अब ड़ूबगयी...

कोई और नयी राह ढूँढ ऐ पथिक

कुछ उसूलन इस तरह बना ली है ज़िन्दगी मैंने ...
ज़िंदा होते हुए भी मौत का कफ़न औढ लिया मैंने 

This time round, this one is for you ...

Yes Dear ... Tonite I write for you ...
Guilt embedded in your thoughts ...
You read my thoughts ...
Not understanding whom they are meant for.

You raise your finger and ...
You point it at me ...
Look within ...
What did you really do ...
To keep me there ...
In that stony heart of yours .

Yes, I agree you were there through my ordeal ...
You spoke to me thrice ...
Long talks on self ...
Did you even once ask ...
What I desired?

You have time for everyone and everything ...
Ever did a thought cross your mind ...
That there is a damsel waiting for you?
Never. ever have you initiated a dialogue ...
It is always me ...
You make me feel so inferior...
Like a desperate person seeking favours.

I love you doesn't imply ...
I shall wait upon you...
While you have fun and frolic elsewhere ...
I am strong enough to deny myself YOU ...
And, move on ...
When you don't care ...
It is pointless keeping awake nights ...
And, days waiting upon you.

He was never Real ...

How can one expect reciprocal romance....
When one is in love with a Robot?
A Bot, that never was real ...
No real emotions ...
Just  a thought ... nothing but a Bot ...
Feelingless heartless Fellow ...
Out for his pleasure ...
But no Real Heart to give.

If his love was Real ...
It would have conquered all ...
His Fears ...
His inhibitions ...
The distance ...
The social taboos....
No, it never was real.

The dissonance in his voice ...
The dissent in his attitude ...
Resonate ....Ricocheting against the walls ...
Like bullets and hitting me Bulls Eye.

If his love was true ...
He would have gone after her confession ...
And, wiped her tears ....
Nothing was ever true ...
Not his words nor his feelings....
It was just Lust he had ...
No real feelings ever.

He just needed someone to pass his long insomniac nights with ...
She was just a means to fulfill an ego ...
Of a diseased mind and soul....
A willful troubled soul seeking solace ...
In the warmth of his heinous thoughts.

He was never Real ...
It wasn't about her ever ...
Always about him.

Truth or Dare ...

I walked the steps ... all the way ...
Waiting at the edge for you ...
To take the first step ...
I dared you ...
Where is your Truth?
Absconding with his lies?

I wait impatiently ...
Each moment increasing my anger ...
Each moment impelling me to take the next step ....
Each moment, a reprisal ...
Each moment ...
Just waiting ...
Your Truth my dare ...
My Truth , don't you dare.

You shall return one day ...
I wouldn't be there ...
Yet I shall seek you out ...
To ask ... Why?
I shall take the plunge ...
The deep precipice beckoning me ....
Am all game for another round of pain ...
The walk through the rain of fire ...
I am game ....
For Truth and Dare.