Am I jinxed?

Am I jinxed?
Whatever...
Who so ever I love ... dies ...
I am better off alone ...
I can't bear to lose loved ones...
I need to go shut myself. ?.
In the blackhole I created...
My shell needs to be donned again.
I was so much better...
All alone ...
No pain ...
No emotions...
Just me ...
My zombie self...
The emptiness enveloping me ...
I am better off alone.

No more losses ...
No more pain ...
Just a dead woman walking ...
In my mourning ...I find solace ...
Jinxed as I am in love...
In matters of the heart...
I am better off alone.

In this aloneness ...I seek my death...
In this aloneness ...
I am fine...
In this aloneness...
Is my salvation.

Death shall become me...
Death is the only answer ...
How many more should I lose ...
To really realize it?

My jinx follows me ...
My fate tainted with death ...
I seek solace within ...
For the World ain't made for me.