Every moment away from you is a moment of death for me... I live and die each second ... I look around in anticipation lest you are lurking behind in the shadows , watching me, wanting me as I want you ... but, am aware ... I blocked you from all spheres of my life ... I have kept myself locked away from you.
It hurts to be away from you ... it hurts to not talk to you ... it hurts to keep my feelings within ... it hurts to hurt you with words ... but , a necessary evil to make you hate me... a need to keep your sanity intact .. the sanctity of our love intact.
I want nothing more than to be with you always ... Alas, it is not to be ever ... destiny played its card a long time ago ... we are not meant to be.
In my loneliness, I write to you ... words pouring my heart out ... my monologue with you and the spirit of our love.
I miss you , as I always did ... more so this time , for am yours ... the shadow that can never be yours ... yet waiting in the wings to catch a glimpse of your shine.
I love you and will always love you so ... have no doubt about my fidelity ... for I started with you , I end in you.
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