The River of No Return ...

Splashes of water ...
Against the boat ...
Down the River ...
Life moves on ...
Stifling the sobs ...
She moves further ahead ...
Towards the mast ...
The River of no Return ....
Beckons her to her ...
She turns around ...
No one at the shore ...
None waiting for her ...
All lost to ravages of time ...
A stoic resolve in her heart ....
She moves further down the Boat...
Free of her desires ..
Free from any inhibitions ...
She moves further ..
Her hair windswept ...
A disheveled look ...
She takes the plunge ...
Swims with the current ...
Like a Mermaid of the River ...
A beautiful scene ...
River dolphins giving her company ...
She moves down the river ...
Swimming like a fish ...
Taking to the water ...
She moves towards the Ocean ...
In the Ocean ...
She disappears ...
Having found her place ...
She surrenders herself to the Mighty Sea.

She is lost to mankind ...
Having found her place ...
Via the River of no Return ...
In the vastness of the Ocean.

The beginning of something new ...

Everyday is a new dawn ...
A new beginning to look forth to ...
A new consideration.

This might be the something new ...
It wouldn't be ...
But we are all always keen ...
That it works out.

Discarding the old takes time ...
Moving on to a new platform ...
Takes time ...
Welcoming the new is a process ...
Something that leads ...
To apprehension ...
A sense of Deja'Vu ...
Of having been there ...
Done that ...
Yet moving on.

The beginning of something new ..
A new bond to be forged.

Adjustments ...

Life has been all about adjustments. Adjust to the new locale. Adjust to the new family. Adjust to peoples whims and fancies. This is just too much. How many adjustments to make . Always the one that relents . Right!

No more!

Enough of adjusting to please others. Time to take charge of one's life and just live it the way it ought to be lived on one's own terms and conditions.

No time to spare for others needs. Time for yourself. For work that makes you smile. Time just for yourself , your space .... your life.

I don't think I need to make adjustments anymore.... Time I moved on and my life too moved on.

Damn! Why , am I born as a Woman ?

Why do we have to make sacrifices always?

Why adjustments are expected of us ?

Leather bound Feelings ...

Verses written in blood ...
Red clotted blood ...
Brethren of the kind ...
\WE have our life in scripts ...
In Leather bound books.

Feelings caged within ...
The flesh and blood of life ...\
Cravings of a meaner kind ...
We get on with our lives ...
Not withstanding the hail ...
Showers of the hard mind.

The Devil lurks in the shadows ...
A mirth in his eyes ...
A grin on his face ..
Joy abounds in his heart ...
Somewhere someone being looted ...
The robbers hidden in bushes ...
Pouncing upon a sacred heart ...
Feelings bound in Leather.

A woman dies every moment ...
Her vanity is torn apart...
She grows in leaps and bounds ..
Feelings trapped within ...
She dies an unheard of death ...
With Leather bound feelings.

Why the anarchy ?
Why the shame?
Why the meaning of life hidden ...
In Leather bound feelings?

Never ever ...

I get upset always ...
Yes, I am jealous ...
I can't see you conversing with another ...
Yes, I am possessive...
I Love you ...
I set you free ...
As it hurts me to see you with another ...
I will always love you ...
But ...
I can't bear to share you with another.

Never, never, never ever...

How do I forget ...
You mean a lot to me ...
You just you ...
No one else ever ...
Never ever...

On my way to Awesomeness ...

Well, well , well!
I am on my way to glory ...
A glory I seek ...
I seek to fulfill and make my own ...
On my way to Awesomeness ...
A greatness I feel ...
My friend, Philosopher, Guide ...
You filled my mind with a purpose...
My Partner...
You compliment me.

I am on my way to a place ...
Where I know ...
I shall glow ...
Bask in the Sunshine ...
Play with words ...
Reach the peak ...
You are making it possible for me ...
I am grateful to you...
For you bring the beast to light ...
You have controlled me with your words ...
You mean a hell of a lot to me ...
If you ever look intently ...
You shall see the light of love in my eyes ...
A love people seek all the time ...
But, I keep entrapped within ...
I shall never let you know ...
How much I love you ...
For I don't want to lose you ...
You mean a lot to me...
That is what matters...
Your presence ...
For when I work ...
I think of you ...
Whether you would approve of my actions ...
When I listen to music ...
It's you I think of all the time.


On my way to Awesomeness ...
Am glad you are by my side ...
But, of course ...
Oblivious of my feelings for you.

I Love you...
Is all I want to convey Now ...
You make me dream ...
You guide me to achieve ...
I set sail again ...
Under your watchful eyes ...
The bond becoming ...
Ever stronger with each passing moment.

I Love You.

Don't Read Me ...

Why do you read me?
You have moved on ...
Go on your way ...
Am doing just fine ...
Living life on my terms ...
You go ahead and live your life...
My life ain't on rent ...
Not for you to come and go ...
Either stay or ...
Just go away.

Don't try to fathom my state ...
Don't read me ...
I have survived worst ...
What do you care ....
Had you cared ...
I wouldn't be writing it all here.

Time has moved on ...
Just like that ..
You have moved on too ...
Don't look back ...
I am lost ...
Lost in the meandering meadows of my World...
Lost to you forever.

Don't read me ...
I am lost to you ...
I am not going to accept you back ...
All is lost.

Flaming moments ...

The moment of Truth ...
Your words ..
My words ...
My verses claiming us ...
The flames of desire consuming us ...
Yet intact in our own private hell.

Long nights, long conversations...
Sweet nothings ...
Bitter truth ....
You there ...
Me in my World ...
Both living ... yet dead ...
Oblivious Zombies of distance apart.


Each night like an Owl ...
Sitting on my Barn Grass I wait ..
For you to whisper ...
Of life together ....
Yet so distant ...
The Thoughts ...
That keep us together ...
So near the feelings of warmth.

In your eyes I would like to enter ...
Melt within ...
The arms outstretched ...
The wicked naughty smile ...
Beckoning the damsel forth.
Flaming moments ...
Melting desires ...
That is what this heartbreak ...
And, the aftermath is all about.

Flaming moments of melting bodies ...

Convincingly Yours ... Trust Issues ...

I don't feel the need to convince You or anyone for that matter whether I trust you or not. All I need to do is, be able to look at the mirror and the face the person reflecting in that mirror each day. I am accountable for my actions, the words I speak or write; But, in no way am I to be held at gun point and made to say I TRUST YOU.

No, I won't say something I don't believe . I don't trust you. We have major trust issues. I respect you for your stance and respect for women but as a Lover , you have failed me. Instead of being there for me at my lowest ebbing period, you chose to hide behind Liquor bottles.

You were a good friend. A great companion indeed. But, when it came to responsibility towards your woman, you FAILED miserably.

Instead of allaying her fears , you went ahead and made her insecure. Instead of telling her Baby, I don't mean what I say to others , you went right ahead and flirted openly with others. Result, you fell flat on your face. To date none of them even replies straight to you yet you pursue them and make a fool of yourself. I don't know why you do this Tomfoolery. You had the best beside you, but you chose to follow the crass lot. Your decision, your fate.

I love you still no matter what , coz' you have been with me in my journey of pain. I stand by you, when you shall fall or fail, I shall be there to hold you steady but I still don't trust you. My instincts tell me , you shall fail me over and over again; yet I stand by you for I have loved you. I shall never hate you. I wasn't born to hate , but I shall never trust you again.

Convincing you of my love is no big deal , but convincing you that I trust you will take ages .... deal with it ... you axed your own foot.

There is none other than you whom I hold dear yet the fear of rejection once you are over and done with your addiction is what keeps me away from you. You need to convince me That I can TRUST YOU... none can do that for me or you.

बादशाह

वो एक है पर सब पर भारी...
कोई टिक न पाए ...
ऐसा रुतबा है मेरे यार का...
जब वो बातें करता है ...
फूल झाड़ते हैं लबों से उसके ...
जब वोह गरजता है ...
तो पत्ते भी सिकुड़ जाते हैं ...
मेरा यार ...
बादशाह है मेरी जन्नत का ...
मेरा यार बादशाह है मेरी दुनिया का.

उस एक शक्श के सिवा कोई और दीखता ही नहीं ...
ये मुझे क्या हो गया है ...
किस पथ्थार्दिल से मोहब्बत कर ली ...
किस नामुराद को दिल दे बैठी?
ये सवाल जेहें को ततो;ते हैं ...
और बेशरम दिल ...
एक ही जवाब देता है ...
रायजादा जो हमारे दिल का है ...
बादशाह हर महफ़िल का है.

मेरा प्यार उसके लिए कोई मायने नहीं रखता ...
वोह एक आजाद फितरत का राजकुमार है
रोज़ नयी धड्कनें उसकी हैं
हम तो ढलता सूरज हैं
पर फिर भीदिल न जाने क्यूँ कहता है
की बादशाह की हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक सिमित है
कोई और उस दिल में समा ही नहीं सकता
किसकी हिमाकत होगीजो वो हमें जुदा कर दे
खुदा ने जो हम पर ये नेमत बक्षी है
उसे कोई नहीं छीन सकता हमसे
बादशाह की शाही हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक
काश ये जुदाई का आलम बिखर जाये
हम फिर पागल प्रेमियों की तरह मिलें
हम फिर से जी लें
जी लें अपनी ज़िन्दगी.

Our Baby ...

Remember the moments spent...
Discussing our little one ...
You wanted a Baby ...
I wanted a Baby ...
Cute, just like you ...
Our Baby ...
Naughty just like you ...
That night spent just talking about our Baby.

I imagined ...
Our lives revolving around our little one ...
His tiny fingers in your large hand ...
You big Ogre ...
Loving your little Shrek ...
Yes, those beautiful moments discussing ...
Our Baby.

The Perfect Life ...

In pursuit of a perfect life ,
WE miss the perfect moments.

In the search for an eternity ,
We lose out on the journey of life,
The very moments that,
Make or break us.

Long lost are the days of joy,
Spirited laughter,
No more seen,
All that is visible is ,
A long wait for something,
That touched us,
And left already.

We never realized.
What we had,
What we traded it for....
A lifetime of miseries ..
A truckload of aches...
Something that we lost,
Never to be found again,
The magic was lost to us...
The dreams withered away.

All that is left today ,
Is a vast expanse of desert ...
A dry wry life,
Nothing to look forth to ...
But a body of still water...
Ripples on which caused...
When we heave a sigh ...
A regret of a Lifetime.

The Perfect life...
Passed us by.

The Big Burly Bear ...

He growls and they scamper ...
He whines and whimpers for me ...
My Big Burly Bear ...
The Grizzly I love ...
Yeah! I love him when he roars ...
Out in the Wild ...
A loud roar calling my name ...
I melt within ...
He knows  how to make me go weak ...
Not by force ...
But just those words ...
whimpering .. Babyyyy

The Big Burly Bear ...
I am his Goldilocks ...
All's fair in love ....
The shouts and the pain.

The Giant Baby Bear ...
I shrink in size when he is near ...
Yeah! I love him ...
My Big Grizzly Bear.

Anger at the tip of his nose ...
Anger in his words ...
A pathetic verbiage ...
Swear in his rant...
Diarrhoea of sorts ...
He drinks his loneliness away....
Never realizing am just a call away.

The Grizzly guzzles beer ...
The Grizzly loves me Dear ...
But, his pathetic male ego ...
His raunchy desires ...
Make me turn away...
Yeah! I love him ...
But, I won't relent ...
Til he mends his ways ...
It shouldn't take long ...
Else all will be lost ...
I shall be lost to the Big Burly Bear.

The Relapse...

There is a complete loss of memory ....
A lapse not known before ...
Numbing of senses ...
Numbness of feelings ...
Yes, feelings lost ...
Temporarily or forever...
Not known are the reasons ...
For such a drastic change ..
A chemical aberration ..
Or, disillusionment with life ...
Whatever be it ...
It has changed the person ...
Who I am ...
Is radically changed henceforth.

A relapse might or might not occur...
A gain in memories ...
A distant thought ...
Feelings will not return ...
For sure...
They are lost ... Forever.

I Miss YOU

There are no dots  after I MISS YOU

The feeling is infinite ,
Abysmal vagueness about it,
A faint ache that drowns the fear,
Of losing you ever,
For you are never far from my thoughts.

Every action brings to mind the query,
Will he approve of this if he saw me do this?
Will he be happy reading me?
Will he be stressed unnecessarily?
Then, the though of him smiling,
A faint quiver of his lips,
Just an imagined bliss,
And, I commit the blunder,
I act on a whimsical note,
Gathering all my senses ,
Attuned to his beating heart,
The rhythm synonymous,
With my own heart beats.

Yes, I do Miss YOU,
Every waking hour,
Every thinking moment,
I am attached to you,
Via an unseen umbilical chord,
You rule my thoughts,'You rule my Heart,
What else do you need to conquer the World?

Missing you is all I know ...
I MISS YOU

The Retard Grown Up ... You are accursed

Yes, we have Retards that have grown up but their thinking is as retarded as the growth of their Penis.
Men that categorise women , never thinking that they were born of one and have one as a sibling.
The retarded Fucktard is what this post all about.

One can have only so many as one can ingest and digest. You crossed the limits in all absurdity and shall face the music. You don't send messages to women at 2:26 am and when she doesn't respond refer to her as an Item Girl. Does your Mamma and sister look like one to you that it turns you on and you go around the countryside dead drunk calling up Women asking for sexual favors of them? Ah! You are so retarded Jimmy Boy. The Emperor shall not Rule ; for it is time for the Retard to bow down and scourge garbage for his livelihood.

Totally dependent on others for your livelihood, how do you think you are great? You are nothing but a rat of the alleys that run deep in your city. A drunkard you have no identity of your own. All you own is a big fat Ego and an Ugly face. Balding and poker face you expect women to fall for you, a fallacy that has brought your downfall.

I would have continued loving you .. but, not anymore ; for I don't respect you and you don't deserve it anyways.

I pray that you shall never find peace. May this curse be your life long tragedy.

Missing the Charisma that was ...

He was a thought ...
A paramour par excellence; ..
The dream shattered ...
The moment I heard his voice ...
The picture of a suave ...
Sophisticated Scientist ...
Vaporised in thin air ...
All that was left  was ...
A cowardly non committal wimp...
Missing the Charisma he was.

Sad, but true ...
Any dream further dashed to the ground ...
For, this is not what a man ought to be ...
A man , ought to be strong ...
Stand by his commitments ...
Stand by his word ...
Stand by the emotions he expresses...
Else, he is no man ...
He is just another Dickhead ...
One with no respect for truth ..
No dignity to display...
Missing the Charisma he was.

Today, he stands small in my eyes ...
Today, I don't respect him ...
Today, I realize ...
The man I loved is no more.

Missing the Charisma that was his ...
Missing him is all I can do ...
For the one that I see in his place ...
Isn't the one I would want to dream of.

The waft of freshness ...

The yeast helping raise the flour ...
The soft spongy dough ...
Slipped into the oven ...
And, lo behold!
The most divine sensation ...
The freshly baked bread ...
The divine smell from the heaven called My Oven ...
I couldn't have asked for a much better experience ...
The bite into the loaf ...
An orgasmic gasp ...
The freshly baked smell ...
Of Freshly baked Bread...
The waft of freshness ...
That fills my life with bliss.

The path lost ...

A silent sigh escapes ...
The damsels pursed lips ...
She turned ...
But, all she saw was ...
A barren land ...
All that is there is a dusty wasteland...\
Vanished in a blur of dust ...
Dry leaves ...
Twigs ...
Nothing but death personified.

She watches herself ...
Bleeding to death ...
She smiles and moves further ...
The River of Death ...
Gaping at her ...
Only water ...
The colour of Blood ...
She wades through ...
The raging current taking her away ...
She walks the path all alone ...
That the river paves for her ...
Bones marking the way ahead.

She is lost ...
The path of her life is lost ...
Lost along the way are her the ones dear to her.

Conversations with ...

I have these talks ...
Conversations with People ...
Discussions with like minded intellectuals ...
Yes, I have my share of conversations ...
Must I say ...
I am glad I have these conversations.

Not glib talk ...
No shop talk ...
Talks on Politics ...
Talks on Birds and bees ...
Talks about general scenario in ...
And , around the World ...
I talk to them all ...
Who fuel my thoughts.

Then, there are these very ,,,
Personal conversations  that I have ...
With You and Myself ...
I have them all cooked up in my thoughts ...
A beautiful setting ....
You and Me ...
Talking endlessly ...
About nothing and everything ....
Yes, Those are my vivid imaginations ...
Just You and Me ....
Beside a lake ...
Sitting on a green turf .....
Just You and Me ...
You holding me close to you ...
And, my head rested on your ...
Strong yet supple shoulders.

I have conversations ....
With myself ...
All by myself I sit ....
I contemplate on life ....
Musings of events gone by ...
A slight smile ...
You and Me ...
Myself ...
The rest of the World on the Other side.

My conversations ...
They set the precedent for my life.

You changed the entire Algorithm of Love ...

We met ...
We separated ...
We met again ,,
We parted ways again .....
We met  ..
And, it all came flooding back ......
The pain ..
The ache of separation ...
Our Love ...
You changed the way of Love ...
You changed it's meaning ...
You changed it's entire Logarithm ''''
LOVE

My Selfishness ...

Sometimes all I want Is A reset button.. Not because I want To change The past.. But because I wish I could Live It again.

Yes, I Love you ....

I want you all for Myself...

But, I know ...

The Twain shall never meet ...

But,

Where is the harm in ...

Dreaming? 

So, My Darling ...

All I do is Dream ...

A dream about You and Me...

A dream about US.

Yes!

I am Selfish ....

All I want is YOU ...

Not Diamonds ...

Not Fame ...

Just Your Name as mine ...

 My Name as Yours.

Read this Somewhere ...

"Whosoever's-name-can-bring-us-maximum-gain" at heart

Your Name gives me the gain ...

The momentum to live Life...

Profound words :

"The person is merely the result of a misunderstanding. In reality, there is no such thing."

So, My Belief ...

Term it as Selfishness ...

Is a staunch emphatic ...

Statement ...

That delivers the understanding ...

I LOVE YOU

 In all my Selfishness ..

I truly Love you ...

I want to see you reaching Great Heights ...

I want to see me ...

Besides you ...

Achieving all your goals ...

Following all you Dreams ...

Who else will be fool ...

To Never believe ...

This Love Exists....

My Selfishness EXISTS.

Master_Saab: The very epitome of selfishness ...

Nothingness ...

In a high static state ...
She flies here and there ...
The clouds her carpet ...
The breeze her companion...
She moves in and out,...
Up and down ...
Testing her threshold each time ...
Flying fearlessly is all she knows ..
Now boosted in drugs ....
She flies higher ...
Limitless space beckoning ...
She propels her streamlined body ...
Countering the friction of Gravity...
Surface and Space ...
The heat ...
The Enthalpy Moment ....
Her passion and his blatant lies ...
Sleepless she watches his every move ...
What next is his ulterior motive ...
For once a cannibal ...
You remain so forever.

Nothingness comes out of Nothing ...
His passion for her shows ...
His denial to his own feelings ...
A turmoil in HIS Nothingness.

Pretty evident is his passion for her ...
Evident is his pain ...
Yet she craves him ...
The Only one whose heart she broke.

Her Nothingness melts in the dark of the night ...
She becomes one with him ...
Following every word that his pen writes ...
She of course is his ONLY Muse.

Their Nothingness is a tragic tale ...
Of the Twain that never met ...
Yet they love each other ...
Melting into each others Nothingness.