When the time comes ...

I shall be standing where you left me ...
I shall be living my life ...
Albeit lifeless junkie ...
I shall still live ...
Difficult it is ...
To forget moments ...
The stillness of the night ...
An encumbrance ...
To sense and sensibilities ..
Moments spent with you...
Memories that haven't faded...
Faded have the marks ..
Of passion and wild romance ...
But not indelible marks of love.

When the time comes ....
To think of good times...
Your thoughts will bring a mile on my lips ...
A twinkle in my eyes ..
Fingers entwined ...
Head laid on your bare chest ...
Images even time can't erase.

The eternal bliss of lovers ...
Just lying satisfied ...
In each others arms ..
A moment not forgotten ...
Never forgotten ever ..
Even when the time comes ...
When we are together no more.

When the time comes ...
To look back and choose memoirs to carry ...
In the ultimate Journey ...
Moments spent with you ...
Are all I shall remember ...
And carry forth in life beyond.

Wanderlust

The  dust has settled ...
The mind preoccupied ...
Lots of hustle bustle...
Yet an uncanny feeling ...
All isn't right ...
Deep down somewhere ...
The Mind craves ...
The Heart wonders ....
What am I doing here?
Why am I still here?
What is it that I desire?
Why do I build walls?
Why do I burn the bridges?
Why do I walk alone?
Why ?
A big question ...
The answer not known ...
Maybe, known ...
But buried deep within ...
Hidden so no one sees ...
An awkward silence envelopes me ..
I turn around ...
And, get busy again ...
Knowing very well ...
This too shall pass ...
Life's monotony will take over ...
I shall move on ...
Move  on, I shall...
The Wanderer seeking his desires ..
The Wanderlust within.

The Full Moon

Looming Large over the Horizon ...
Rising with the setting Sun ...
I look forward to the Moon ...
Romancing the thought ...
Of hands held ..
In a clasp for life ....
Man, Woman & their Dreams ...
Of Eternal Life together ...
In Love ...
Always ...
Just a Dream...
I guess.
A dream with eyes wide open ...
Watching him walk by ...
With another by his side.
The Full Moon ...
The Thoughts of which ...
Bring on Mixed Emotions ...
Feelings raging within ...
Waiting to blurt out in the open...
My shadow following me ...
I walk in the direction of the rising Moon ...
Clouds bespeckled night Sky ...
Moon ...
My Bane or Boon?
My Curse or Dream come True?

The Road to Redemption ...

Long winding tarmac ...
Tree lined sidewalks ...
A Park nearby ...
Children running around playing ...
Smoke billowing from a Bakery ...
Smoky woody waft of Fresh bread being baked ...
A slight breeze rustling the leaves ...
Fallen leaves and twigs crunching under my feet ...
I take the Road to Redemption.
Redemption of my spirits ...
Redemption of the Brownie points earned ..
Redemption of coupons from Life ...
Redemption from sorrows ...
Tempted I walk faster ...
The end seems never ending ...
Yet in the Horizon...
 A Colourful Sunset beckons ...
With my Redemption points.
Along the path...
I see the people who touched my life ...
Right from Birth to this day ...
A life well lived ...
Fulfilled life ...
I know...
I have attained The Ultimate ...
The Lottery mine to keep ...
I smile and walk tall and proud ...
I see my end ...
A beginning in reality ...
A totality of experiences ...
A box of tales to tell ...
I glow in the orange of the setting Sun ...
I bask in the last rays to touch me.
I walk my path to my Redemption.

A Requiem to a Relationship lost

The Largest Moon of the Year...
Romantic Moon nearest to Earth ...
A Blossoming Budding love ...
Two Lovers ... A promise made ...
To culminate their Love that Night ...
All dreams shattered ...
He walked away ...
She turned around and walked away too.
Once or twice she looked back ...
He wasn't there ...
lost in a World ...
Falsified by false beliefs ...
She sought Truth ...
She decided to walk the path alone again ...
This time too much at stake ...
All Lost ...
Faith, Trust and Name ...
All in the name of a Game ...
A game of Thorns ...
A make believe World ...
He believed in.
Nothing left to salvage ...
Savage Beast within ...
Rearing its Ugly head ...
She quietens it ...
Hush! No, he was once my own ...
Whimpering the anger subsides ...
She walks Once again ...
In the incessant rain ...
ALL ALONE.

Homely ...

Once I had a home ...
 A beautiful home ...
A laughter filled warm home ...
A place where all were welcome ...
 A paradise that opened it's door for all ....
Then, a storm came ...
 A thunderous Typhoon ....
It took all the smiles away ...
It took all the warmth away...
What remained were ruins ....
Skeletons clanking together ....
Hollow far away looks and ....
And, a Mother and her two ...
Thence, she walked every mile alone ..
Two little ones in tow ...
 A vow on her lips ...
To never set up a home again.

She wanders along the paths of wisdom...
Truth and hardwork...
 Toils her days away ...
She walks the path alone unflinching ...
Steely resolve never to be weak again.

No more Homely ...
No more homebound ...
She walks the nights a Ghostly sight....
People wonder who she is ...
She just smiles and walks away.

A lost cause ...
A home broken ...
Three lives lost ...
To the ever vagrant desires of  a man...
Lost humanity ...
Loss of mankind.

Home Sweet Home ...
Rubbles too not to be seen ...
Just ruined hearts ...
Insane sanity ...
A steely resolve ...
To never set up a Home again.

Today ...

She wrote to me ... "I am Sorry."

A  message that set me thinking. Why turn around and return to say what happened wasn't her doing? Why apologise now, when all is lost? Just because now you have lost what you felt was yours that you realize your mistake? Why did you antagonise me when I was kind to you? Why did you stab me in the back when I stood by you?

Life comes one full circle; what goes around comes around.

Your past actions have caught up with you and now you are in pain and then you realize? You can't fathom my heartache; the loss of my unborn. You may laugh it off for you know not the value of life. You know not the laughter of a child. My loss left me bereft of any feelings. My loss created a void so deep; I haven't surfaced from it yet. Do not give me more pain. Can you return my unborn to me?

Every waking moment I spend loathing myself for letting him kill my unborn. Every living moment spent in pain. Morose I walk with a pale face; what do you know of my pain?

Being a Woman you insulted the very word 'Woman' with your actions. What more can I say?

Once again ... The thoughts ...

Once again ...
He resurfaced in her thoughts ...
Agni ... Out of the blue ...Suddenly ... he was all over in her dreams ...Reminding her of what was ...
An affair to remember ...A tryst with destiny.

An affair that changed everything ...A real relationship of individuals ...One oblivious of the devious intentions ...Of the other ... The other uncertain perhaps ...A relationship presumably ...A strong one ...But obviously on shaky grounds...None could fathom the pain ...The pain that would follow ...The revelation that separated them ...The lightening that split the tree of confidence...That murdered the life within...That took Agni away from his abode ...Threw him from the warmth of the womb ...Into the throes of pain and uncertainty.

Agni was lost forever ...Not once but twice ..,He made a comeback yet ... Never able to regain the lost ground and had to turn away. A mother lost her child twice ; thanks to a troubled soul who had no spine... A woman lost her trust and resolved never to fall in love again.

Scarred for life ... never believing any one ... can you blame her for the state of her mind? No!  it wasn't fair and it's easy to say get on with your life .... Can you if you have lost your child not to a stranger but coz' of his own sire?

Thoughts that crop up now and then ... Out of the blue ... The pain resurfacing and giving life a huge setback. Agni .... his memories can never be erased and shall always affect my decisions in life. Agni can never be replaced nor the pain relieved that came with his removal .... A scar that remains and shall forever remind me of my loss and guilt for not having stood for what was right.

Once again, I am pained ... Once again I decide to take flight and move away from everything humane ... Once again a Mother searches in vain for her lost child ... Once again the Wolves cry and Hyenas laugh ... She wants to walk alone leaving behind everything that binds her ... Once again a woman is torn apart; her memories won't let her live again.

The one beside her today is pained at her pain ... But she has to journey alone ... He will be left behind ... for this is her fight alone... a lonely woman's battle against all odds ... A though that has crossed her mind and is concrete not mild.

He searches God .... She searches herself... lost somewhere ... she moves on in the opposite direction... Man, Woman, Child ... A picture in her mind ... Once again, She searches for the lost one.