Friday, December 30, 2016

Happiness eludes her ...

Yet again,

Happiness eludes her. Just when she thought all was going to end , a sudden gust of wind came along and blew the nest of her dreams away.

Yet again, she became lifeless.

Yet again, she turned into a zombie.

Yet again, she killed her dreams ... her desires ... her feelings ... yet again, she felt cheated by her own.

She withdrew into a cocoon. She spun the weave around her ... Yet again, happiness eluded her.

Yet again, joy skirted around her and bereft her with emotions. A steady stream of warm tears flowing from her eyes , traversed along her cheeks ... she tasted the salt in it and yet again ... happiness eluded her.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Cherubic persona

The cute double chin...
The podgy look...
The layers of fat..
Make her look good...
The cherubic look...
Her persona.

Funny is her demeanour ...
Sweet is her smile ...
Baby is her looks ...
The cherubic look...
Her persona

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Nostalgia of a bygone era ...

The whirring of the fan above cannot mute the music playing in the background . Music of a bygone era ... muffled memories , screaming to be heard once again.

She moves about, completing her chores. Almost robotic actions but for the mind immersed in thoughts remeniscing about good old days.

A nostalgic remembrance of love lost and found over the years. Each a unique tale to write about. Each an unrequited Love story legends are all about.

The Vagabond Virgin that she is ... She is lost to the present World. In her own thoughts she finds solace ... In her solitude she is happy.

Days of yore, joy de viviere... she lets escape an utterance of sighs and a smile across her wrinkled lips pasted ... she moves to her own realm ; a dream world where none can enter.

Men came and knocked at her heart but this Juliet never let anyone in. Her ideal Romeo not found yet she chuckles and says ... I love my freedom... am not ready to give it all up for anybody. Ah!!! Matters of the heart ... What to say?

Nostalgia like a cloud ... engulfs her and consumes her in its wake. Lost to all she moves in her own make believe World.

Her life her Decision.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Corruption is a state of mind

Corruption is a state of mind. It is not the money that is black, it is the man and his transaction! So demonetisation won't stop corruption.

Check out this story of Akbar and Birbal which we should present to Modiji. If he had paid attention in grade 8 we might have been spared this effort. A superb analogy of our present day Tughlaq and his attempts to rein in corruption. Do read.

 " Many many years ago, when I was in school, I heard the following story:

Once Badshah Akbar' s army was engaged in a prolonged war. As a result his royal wealth ("shahi khazana") was nearly exhausted.
He asked Birbal, "How to replenish my wealth."
Birbal: You can get it from Dhanna Seth.(merchant).
Akbar was amazed as to how a trader/ merchant could have so much money. Still he went to Dhanna Seth.

Dhanna Seth offered: Badshah Akbar, I have huge wealth, take as much as you want."
Akbar: Dhanna Seth, How did you accumulate so much wealth. Tell me without any fear of punishment.
Dhanna: I earned it by adultrating grains & spices.
Akbar got angry, he took all of Dhanna's wealth and ordered him that from then on he would collect the horse dung  in his royal stable. Dhanna agreed.

Years passed by. Again Akbar had to fight a long drawn battle. Again his royal wealth exhausted & again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna Seth for help.
Akbar wondered : Birbal, I had ordered him to work in royal stable to collect horse dung, How on earth he can have such a wealth."
Birbal: Badshah, you can ask him but only he can help you.
Akbar went to Dhanna. Dhanna gave Akbar huge wealth.
Akbar: Dhanna Seth, I had earlier taken all your wealth, How did you accumulate it again?
Dhanna: From the stable - incharge  & horse attendants. They used to underfeed the horses. I threatened them that I will complain to Badshah that they did not feed horses enough, hence the horse dung quantity was less. So they bribed me to keep silent.
Akbar got very angry again & ordered Dhanna to start counting the waves at sea & returned to his Palace with Dhanna's wealth.

As luck would have it, Akbar fought another war, royal wealth emptied out and once again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna  Seth for help.
Akbar could not believe as to how Dhanna could earn so much by counting waves at sea.
Akbar asked Dhanna for the help.

Dhanna: Badshah, Take as much as you want but this time around I will not change my profession.
Akbar: Ok, but tell me how did you earn money by counting Water waves at sea.
Dhanna: Very simple, I used to stop merchant's ships & boats far  away from sea shore. I showed them your orders that I  was counting waves & their ships & boats would disturb or break the waves hence their ships or boats should stay away. Badshah, these merchants then used to bribe me to let them reach the shore & unload their merchandise.

So Badshah understood that Dhanna Seth can earn by engaging in manipulations & bribery from any profession."

Demonetisation or no demonetisation, the Dhanna Seths of our society will always find a way to earn & accumulate black money.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Sacrifice ... Letting go

Letting go is a big sacrifice to make ...
Killing feelings and emotions ...
Burying all thoughts ...
Leaving all care to wind ...
For Love doesn't bind ...
Love sets you free...
Love is setting them free...
For a better life for them.

What may seem all rosy and hunky dory ...
Can be a bitter future together ...
Two souls can remain connected ...
Yet, apart  ...
For Love doesn't bind...
It lets go.

Emotional connect remains ...
The physical touch goes ...
Living with fond memories is better ...
Than bitter experiences.

Just fade away is all one can do ...
For they love them ...
With love within ...
One can move on ...
No remorse, no pain ...
Just a smile on lips ...
Tackling life as it comes ...
With all its lemons and rinds.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

When ...

When everything falls into place and you wonder, what next? ... That's the stage she is in ; wondering WHAT NEXT!

There comes a time when whatever you have been has come to fruition and you upto your neck done with it and the monotony of daily routine becomes overwhelming , and you wonder what next?

What is it that needs to be tackled?
Do I need to take the plunge and start afresh?
Is the fight worth it?
Should I start a new venture?
We need that self affirmation to believe in ourselves to dive into a new adventure?
Is the adventure worth the time, peace of mind and money?

And, the heart the silly old romantic fool says YES ... Go ahead, you have nothing to lose ... Just jump in and start a new game of life and wonder.

The shrewd mind on the other hand says , play it safe honey; you ain't getting young ... Give yourself a break and go fulfill your Bucket list.

She wonders ... will I be able to adjust to a new routine of nothingness after so many fulfilling years?

When it comes to decisions these dilemmas make you weak ... but what the heck, life is all about taking risks and she is ready for yet another adventure ...

An adventure that will test her wits and patience ... Her endurance and belief will be tested ... Hope she comes out victorious ... Her belief in her strengths intact.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Losing her at words ...

Words entice her...
Words seduce her ...
Your words turned her reclusive world upside down ...
Your words killed the love that had germinated.

Simple words that can make or break a woman ...
You made her and  you broke her infinitely.

She enters her cocoon again ...
With a promise ...
This time even words can't beseech her.


From me she became Us ...
Only to become I again.

You lost her at your words ...
She lost you at hers.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Temporary Relationship ...

A few interactions I find interesting to share- a series of short conversations.
Him and her .
Reading books , warm sunlight , green grass .
She -: i should warn you -I can't handle anger well.
He - thoughtfully " I don't see you very angry , usually"
She - no, your anger . I don't like it at all. Don't be angry with me .
He - thinking deeply again .." But that would be unnatural for me .. I would not be myself if I am hiding things from you .."
She - thinking - well that is true . And honest .
" but still , give me a warning ..something like I am sorry I am feeling mad ..can I talk to you about this .."
He laughs . "I can try . But I don't know if it will work always "
She - " you know I am not known for staying too long in one place if I am unhappy ..I find options .."
He , now seriously looking at her - " options ? "
She - " yes , I don't recommend to anyone to stay in a situation they hate . They should either accept or move .. Shouldn't complain .."
He -: you don't have any options .
Oh ?
She - now feeling truly mad - "of course I do . Everyone has options ."
He -" do you know anyone handsomer than me ?"
She marveling at his confidence -:"a few names come to mind , but yes I think right now I see you to be the best."
She is trying not to smile . Too much confidence for a bald man .
He does not seem to notice the emphasis on 'right now'
He rolls over - do you know anyone who is as intelligent as I am ?
She looks at him seriously but the twinkle in the eye is brighter , harder to hide .
"Again a few names do come to mind , but yes you are the most intelligent man I see right now ."
He , looks directly at her - no sign on his face of any humor .
"Do you know any one who loves you more ?"
No names came to mind .
She chooses to not answer .
Another postponement of that breakup . May be another day .
It's a temporary relationship anyway . Just one lifetime .
Both return to their respective chapters of fiction and facts .

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Words just flow...

There are days ...
When she struggles to find words to pen ...
There are days when she is lost for words ...
But,
There are days like today ...
When an inspired work inspires her ...
And, words flow like a stream ...
And she disseminates in a World of letters ...
Plucking nouns, verbs , adjectives, adverbs and what not ...
To spin a web so strong ...
One that can take her weight ...
And swing her about ...
Lulling her to sleep.

A sweet lullaby ...
Words of her own ...
Words stolen ...
Standard words ...
Abstract concepts ...
Structured unstructured sentences ...
Making a meaning or none at all ...
They just flow ...
She just types ...
Happy and content ...
Her sanity intact.

Words just flow ...
Like wine poured into clinking glasses ...
Be it Martini or tequila ...
Her Vodka has arrived.

The Anteater and the Librarian ...

Books spread all over...
The once prim Library ...
The haven of knowledge ...
Makes the keeper wonder ...
What must have happened ?
What transpired overnight ...
That strewn around are her treasures ?

She walks into a mound of books ...
No not torn or destroyed ...
She hears the rustle of pages ...
The antique fan whirring above ...
Was it the cause for the pages turning over?

A movement behind the mountain of books in a corner ...
What could that shadow falling upon the carpet be of?

An element of apprehension ...
With bated breath she moves forth ...
It couldn't be ...
She couldn't believe her eyes ...
Lying amongst the fallen books ...
Was an Anteater ...
Reading a book animatedly ...
Enjoying the words spilling out ...
Tail swishing around making books fly around ...
Engrossed deeply in the literature.

An age when people forgot all about the written  words ...
A digital age ...
There was an animal gaining knowledge ...
Loading into its grey matter...
Words long forgotten.

Human race may become defunct ...
but, long live the creatures of the wild ...
they have taken the onus upon themselves ...
To carry the legacy forth.

Visitors to the Library feel ...
The Librarian has gone bonkers ...
For they see no books strewn on the floor ...
The siren sounds shrill ...
The Librarian on her way to an asylum ...
For the mentally deranged ...
They say the words in the books ...
Took over her ...
She forgot everything else ...
The words were her World ...
And, they took her away from it.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Sweating it out ...

Why?
Why do we get affected by trivial issues?
Why do we sweat t out ...
Wondering what the World ...
And it's self created society thinks...
About us and our actions?

To hell with rules ...
Rules that make you crib, cry and nag ...
Antagonize and be apprehensive...
Rules that never let you think freely ...
Rules that get you all messed up and sad...
To hell with thoughts ...
That make you worry , what if...
Sweating it out ...
It ain't for the faint hearted to live like a bird ...
Free willed and flying high ...
If you are always thinking ...
What is the society going to say?

To hell with the society ...
The society doesn't feed me ...
Nor does it clothe me ...
The society doesn't pay my bills ...
The society doesn't wipe my tears ...
Sweating it our, thinking about the society ...
No, not for me.

Just because ...

Living in solitude ...
Just because ...
She hasn't found a soul ...
Compatible at her mental level ...
Not a person ...
With whom she can ...
Discuss anything and everything under the sky...
No, no gossip ...
Strong intellect is what she seeks ...
All one finds these days is ...
Corrupt bogus minds...
Interested in their own selfish adornments.

She seeks inner solace ....
By reading up every topic ...
On Science and technology ...
Brain research and Genetics her forte'...
She enacts conversations in her mind ...
Deep thoughtful discussions with Ghosts ...
Created by her ....
Intelligent beings ...
At times it seems she is talking to herself ...
But little do they know...
She speaks to the people she has created  ...
For no living being can match ...
The speed of her thoughts and logic.

To the rest of the world...
It may seem she has gone bonkers ...
But, happy and content is the woman ...
That thinks eons ahead ...
Of the rest of others.

There is so much to explore in space ...
No telescope or spacecraft can go there ...
But, the speed of thoughts can ...'
They take her where no man or craft has gone before ...
The entities they speak to her.

A healthy discussion of ...
What becomes of Earth ?
What becomes of Mankind?
What about relations?
What about feelings?
There is no two ways about it ...
Pros and cons discussed ...
Conclusions drawn and redrawn ...
Even twenty four hours ain't enough.

They say she is lost ...
But, she wanders in space ...
A space she created with her thoughts ...
A space where she converses with like minded people ...
Ghosts for the rest of the mankind ...
But, friends that never let her down...
People who never leave her alone ...
Entities that give her company.

Just because, sh is lost in her thoughts ...
All isn't lost to her ...
She is but a player ...
Wordplay her forte'...
Mind games her exercise ...
Concocting situations ...
For enacting on the stage of life.

The smile becoming her ...
Spring in her gait ...
She moves forth ...
To yet conquer another day ...
Amongst the living ghosts ...
Known as humans.

Just because ...
She has to live another day.

Monday, May 23, 2016

A strong woman never cries ...

The expressions stoic ...
Even if deep within one may be crying ...
A smile for the World to see ...
So much buried deep ...
For the tears are not to be exposed ...
A strong woman never cries ...
Whatever be the level of pain ...
Her aches are not to be exposed ...
A deep breath inhaled ...
A sparkle in the eyes ...
Stifling the tears ...
The aches well covered ...
The bruises hidden ...
The strong woman moves on.

She has no right to cry ...
The wail of pain within ...
A heartache ...
Muffled screams ...
She the strong one moves on.

A strong woman never cries ...
She smiles despite all the travails ...
She journeys through life ...
With a sparkle in her eyes.

Eti kunhi duti paat ...

Listening to music makes up for the peace one seeks ...
Be it any language ...
Music makes my day ...
Best is if it is Bhupen Hazarika's soulful voice ...
Or a Sufi rendition ...
Coke Studio any time ...
Old classics ...
Bistirna  paraare ...
Hahahakar ...
Eti kunhi duti paat ...
Music makes the ache of unfulfilled love fade away ...
The emptiness wiped away with music and lyrics that touch ...
The very core of my heart.

Ganga behti ho kyun ...
Why do I flow ?...
I flow to meet the Ocean ...
To be one with the Ocean ...
Aami ek jajabor ...
Haan awaara hoon ...

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The horoscope ...

Never a believer ...
she woke up up with a jolt ...
The previous days reading ...
It had predicted ...
He who seeks her ...
Will appear in her dream that night.
The one that brightened her dream ...
The poisoned apple ...
The one she swore not to meet again ...
He dominated the flow of her dream.

If horoscopes are true...
Why does he seek her?
They parted ways ...
It was hard to get on with life ...
She did somehow ...
Now, why does he torment her via dreams?

His destiny can't be tied to her...
Or is it?

Time and again they bump into each other ....
Not right...
These dreams ...
These predictions ...
They need to be done away with ...
None should be one's weakness...
None indeed.

The Salesman ...

The public transport system...
Roaming all over...
Finally to park at the depot .

The Eagle hovering above ...
Seeking its prey ...
Finally to take the dead to its nest ...
For his hungry lot.

All with a means ...
A means to torment the weak ...
Finding a prey to prey upon ...
For their own benefits.

Sell , sell yourself...
At any cost ...
So you can make a kill ...
Save on a few bucks here and there ...
Break a few lives ...
And move on.

After all, you are but a salesman...
Selling yourself ...
For your dreams ...
For your sexual gratification.

Nothing but a mere mortal ...
With selfish gains in sight ...
Intent on getting unfulfilled desires ...
Fuelled by passion ....
Spent and over and done with.

You are nothing but a salesman ...
With no morals...
No values ...
But a predator...
That kills.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

The madness ...

The madness that was...
The reckless love ...
Wild untamed passion ...
Unbridled by societal norms ...
A couldn't care attitude ...
Nothing stopping them ...
And then stepped in the villain ...
A conscience ...
Tearing them apart ...
The realization setting them apart ...
Lost to each other ...
Following life blindly ...
Like all others ...
Leading a dull monotonous life ...
Life called by others ...
But death of Love.

The far away call ...

A voice ...
reascending , tearing through the eerie silence of the night ...
A dream or ...
Is it a nightmare ...
A dawn breaks with doubts and a dull ache ...
An ache to know ...through the past ...
What happened ...
A feeling unexplained...
Inexplicable thoughts ...
Meandering through the lanes of the mind ...
Firing neurons to return ...
To an old story kept in wraps ...
Silken creases unfolding ...
The pain from the past ...
Was it needed ...
To traverse the path buried in memories?

The far away call...
Why should it come now?

Sunday, April 10, 2016

The death of Love ...

The first eye contact,
The shy looks,
Covert following...
The first love .


No contact made...
Love lost in translation ...
Time takes over ...
Decades pass.

Sudden flash of destiny ...
They are face to face again ...
Although grey and wrinkled ...
She with her scars ...
He with his new responsibilities...
Passion rules ...
They are lost ...
Suddenly priorities take precedence ...
What started as beautiful...
Turns into a nightmare.

She sends him packing...
Into the arms of his responsibilities ...
She wears the garb of a widow again ...
His widow for now.

Love dies a brutal death ...
Not lost this time ...
in her self pity she wallows ...
Cursing her destiny.

If they were not meant to be ...
Why were they brought together again?

Why the pain of eternal bliss and separation once again?

The childhood love of innocence ...
Was all that was ...
Why turn it into unbridled passion ...
Only for the river to be let dry again?

The Death of Love this time round ...
A stigma to the name of the Lord ...
The one who created destiny,
Failed Love once again.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Somewhere something is amiss ...

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Somewhere something is amiss ...: Not to ask is ... The query why one consumes... Poison every day.... To forget what ... A past that has no meaning ... Today, tomorrow...

Somewhere something is amiss ...

Not to ask is ...
The query why one consumes...
Poison every day....
To forget what ...
A past that has no meaning ...
Today, tomorrow or ...
The day after.

Yet, consumed ...
In its solitary thoughts...
Confined to a darkness within ...
One remembers the pain ...
The ache that doesn't let ...
Her forgive the devils from the past ...
Everything has changed ...
Yet she remains ...
The same old messed up aching heart ...
Searching for the lost soul within ...
One, she might never find ever.

Everything seems hunky dory ...
Yet, somewhere something seems amiss ...
A mockery of feelings ...
Does destiny desire that?

The mindlessness of the thoughts ...
The blabbering of an unrested tongue ...
The solitary confinement of a troubled mind ...
Somewhere something is amiss.

The fluttering desires ...
Take over ...
An uncouth fantasy takes wing ...
Soaring high ...
Losing vanity is imminent ...
Yet, a stoic silence ...
Breaks the in vain attempt ...
To be rapturously happy ...
A facade ...
That shows ...
Somewhere something is amiss.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

The 'Unwanted One' ...

'Unwanted ' even by Death,
Destiny's very own 'Unwanted' child...
 No one wanted her ...
The Extra 'Unwanted' One ...
The one , no one needed ...
She survived all the upheavals ...
Every corner a Death plunge ..
why she survived? Unwanted by Death ,
Unwanted by Life ...
She just exists ...
Unwanted in love ,
Yet wanted for Lust ...
She survives her Unwantedness.
They say 'Lucky' ...
But, in reality 'Unwanted'...
Needed for the luck she brings ...
Needed for bein the Hen that lays the Golden eggs ...
But, yet 'Unwanted'.

Wsnted for flings...
Wanted for affairs ...
Unwanted for love ...
Unwanted for permanence.

Wanted for goodies...
Wanted for material stuff...
Yet Unwanted ....
Wanted for money ..
Yet, Unwanted for love.

Unwanted by the one above ,
Unwanted by the ones around ,

Unwanted everywhere ...
What purpose does she fulfill?

No purpose in sight ...
she watches them walk past ...
Used and forlorn...
She feels so Unwanted ....
She watches them go by, one by one ....
She looks up a the sky ...
The dark night ...
No stars ....
Unwanted in her solitude ...
She hangs her head ...
And walks by ...
UNWANTED.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

The Wail ...

She sat beside him silently watching him wail in vain, A childlike persona in a grown man, She held him in her embrace , cuddled him and kissed him on the forehead, He quietened down and slept peacefully.

This whole exercise happened each night and she held him close, watching over him all night long , sleeping beside his bed on a reclining chair praying for peace to overcome his troubled mind.

He slowly became alright but in the whole process she lost herself somewhere and forgot who she was. He became alright and forgot what sacrifices she had made for him. She was bereft of her self esteem and pride and he went back to his wayward ways.

One night, when the World was welcoming a new year ; she was walking the streets where she roamed around with him, a suitcase dragging from her limp hand, Her head held in shame, her life ruined , tears streaming down her cheeks  ... She was lost even to herself.

The wail she used to quieten in him, escaped her lips and she doubled up on the sidewalk , waif like, like a street urchin wailing on the streets of his city. All her confidence and resolve shattered , she was just another number added to his list of victims.

The silence of the night broken by a soulful wail escaping her lips was all one could hear that welcomed the New Year.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

The step towards the silver Sunset ...

Not looking back...
Walking ahead ...
She welcomes the first rays of the Sunrise that lead her towards the Silver Sunset.

Above the horizon she watches the Seagulls...
Swooping down upon the calm sea ...
The calmness invades her ...
And she becomes one with the peace of the moment.

She knows not if their is a God ...
But, she knows of an all pervading presence ...
That watches over her ...
The one that shows her the path ...
To greatness within.

In her solitude she finds company ...
The recluse once again dons her robe ...
A slight wry smile escapes her lips ...
And she takes to the task of her daily grind.

The step towards the silver sunset begins...