Adjustments ...

Life has been all about adjustments. Adjust to the new locale. Adjust to the new family. Adjust to peoples whims and fancies. This is just too much. How many adjustments to make . Always the one that relents . Right!

No more!

Enough of adjusting to please others. Time to take charge of one's life and just live it the way it ought to be lived on one's own terms and conditions.

No time to spare for others needs. Time for yourself. For work that makes you smile. Time just for yourself , your space .... your life.

I don't think I need to make adjustments anymore.... Time I moved on and my life too moved on.

Damn! Why , am I born as a Woman ?

Why do we have to make sacrifices always?

Why adjustments are expected of us ?

Leather bound Feelings ...

Verses written in blood ...
Red clotted blood ...
Brethren of the kind ...
\WE have our life in scripts ...
In Leather bound books.

Feelings caged within ...
The flesh and blood of life ...\
Cravings of a meaner kind ...
We get on with our lives ...
Not withstanding the hail ...
Showers of the hard mind.

The Devil lurks in the shadows ...
A mirth in his eyes ...
A grin on his face ..
Joy abounds in his heart ...
Somewhere someone being looted ...
The robbers hidden in bushes ...
Pouncing upon a sacred heart ...
Feelings bound in Leather.

A woman dies every moment ...
Her vanity is torn apart...
She grows in leaps and bounds ..
Feelings trapped within ...
She dies an unheard of death ...
With Leather bound feelings.

Why the anarchy ?
Why the shame?
Why the meaning of life hidden ...
In Leather bound feelings?

Never ever ...

I get upset always ...
Yes, I am jealous ...
I can't see you conversing with another ...
Yes, I am possessive...
I Love you ...
I set you free ...
As it hurts me to see you with another ...
I will always love you ...
But ...
I can't bear to share you with another.

Never, never, never ever...

How do I forget ...
You mean a lot to me ...
You just you ...
No one else ever ...
Never ever...

On my way to Awesomeness ...

Well, well , well!
I am on my way to glory ...
A glory I seek ...
I seek to fulfill and make my own ...
On my way to Awesomeness ...
A greatness I feel ...
My friend, Philosopher, Guide ...
You filled my mind with a purpose...
My Partner...
You compliment me.

I am on my way to a place ...
Where I know ...
I shall glow ...
Bask in the Sunshine ...
Play with words ...
Reach the peak ...
You are making it possible for me ...
I am grateful to you...
For you bring the beast to light ...
You have controlled me with your words ...
You mean a hell of a lot to me ...
If you ever look intently ...
You shall see the light of love in my eyes ...
A love people seek all the time ...
But, I keep entrapped within ...
I shall never let you know ...
How much I love you ...
For I don't want to lose you ...
You mean a lot to me...
That is what matters...
Your presence ...
For when I work ...
I think of you ...
Whether you would approve of my actions ...
When I listen to music ...
It's you I think of all the time.


On my way to Awesomeness ...
Am glad you are by my side ...
But, of course ...
Oblivious of my feelings for you.

I Love you...
Is all I want to convey Now ...
You make me dream ...
You guide me to achieve ...
I set sail again ...
Under your watchful eyes ...
The bond becoming ...
Ever stronger with each passing moment.

I Love You.

Don't Read Me ...

Why do you read me?
You have moved on ...
Go on your way ...
Am doing just fine ...
Living life on my terms ...
You go ahead and live your life...
My life ain't on rent ...
Not for you to come and go ...
Either stay or ...
Just go away.

Don't try to fathom my state ...
Don't read me ...
I have survived worst ...
What do you care ....
Had you cared ...
I wouldn't be writing it all here.

Time has moved on ...
Just like that ..
You have moved on too ...
Don't look back ...
I am lost ...
Lost in the meandering meadows of my World...
Lost to you forever.

Don't read me ...
I am lost to you ...
I am not going to accept you back ...
All is lost.

Flaming moments ...

The moment of Truth ...
Your words ..
My words ...
My verses claiming us ...
The flames of desire consuming us ...
Yet intact in our own private hell.

Long nights, long conversations...
Sweet nothings ...
Bitter truth ....
You there ...
Me in my World ...
Both living ... yet dead ...
Oblivious Zombies of distance apart.


Each night like an Owl ...
Sitting on my Barn Grass I wait ..
For you to whisper ...
Of life together ....
Yet so distant ...
The Thoughts ...
That keep us together ...
So near the feelings of warmth.

In your eyes I would like to enter ...
Melt within ...
The arms outstretched ...
The wicked naughty smile ...
Beckoning the damsel forth.
Flaming moments ...
Melting desires ...
That is what this heartbreak ...
And, the aftermath is all about.

Flaming moments of melting bodies ...

Convincingly Yours ... Trust Issues ...

I don't feel the need to convince You or anyone for that matter whether I trust you or not. All I need to do is, be able to look at the mirror and the face the person reflecting in that mirror each day. I am accountable for my actions, the words I speak or write; But, in no way am I to be held at gun point and made to say I TRUST YOU.

No, I won't say something I don't believe . I don't trust you. We have major trust issues. I respect you for your stance and respect for women but as a Lover , you have failed me. Instead of being there for me at my lowest ebbing period, you chose to hide behind Liquor bottles.

You were a good friend. A great companion indeed. But, when it came to responsibility towards your woman, you FAILED miserably.

Instead of allaying her fears , you went ahead and made her insecure. Instead of telling her Baby, I don't mean what I say to others , you went right ahead and flirted openly with others. Result, you fell flat on your face. To date none of them even replies straight to you yet you pursue them and make a fool of yourself. I don't know why you do this Tomfoolery. You had the best beside you, but you chose to follow the crass lot. Your decision, your fate.

I love you still no matter what , coz' you have been with me in my journey of pain. I stand by you, when you shall fall or fail, I shall be there to hold you steady but I still don't trust you. My instincts tell me , you shall fail me over and over again; yet I stand by you for I have loved you. I shall never hate you. I wasn't born to hate , but I shall never trust you again.

Convincing you of my love is no big deal , but convincing you that I trust you will take ages .... deal with it ... you axed your own foot.

There is none other than you whom I hold dear yet the fear of rejection once you are over and done with your addiction is what keeps me away from you. You need to convince me That I can TRUST YOU... none can do that for me or you.

बादशाह

वो एक है पर सब पर भारी...
कोई टिक न पाए ...
ऐसा रुतबा है मेरे यार का...
जब वो बातें करता है ...
फूल झाड़ते हैं लबों से उसके ...
जब वोह गरजता है ...
तो पत्ते भी सिकुड़ जाते हैं ...
मेरा यार ...
बादशाह है मेरी जन्नत का ...
मेरा यार बादशाह है मेरी दुनिया का.

उस एक शक्श के सिवा कोई और दीखता ही नहीं ...
ये मुझे क्या हो गया है ...
किस पथ्थार्दिल से मोहब्बत कर ली ...
किस नामुराद को दिल दे बैठी?
ये सवाल जेहें को ततो;ते हैं ...
और बेशरम दिल ...
एक ही जवाब देता है ...
रायजादा जो हमारे दिल का है ...
बादशाह हर महफ़िल का है.

मेरा प्यार उसके लिए कोई मायने नहीं रखता ...
वोह एक आजाद फितरत का राजकुमार है
रोज़ नयी धड्कनें उसकी हैं
हम तो ढलता सूरज हैं
पर फिर भीदिल न जाने क्यूँ कहता है
की बादशाह की हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक सिमित है
कोई और उस दिल में समा ही नहीं सकता
किसकी हिमाकत होगीजो वो हमें जुदा कर दे
खुदा ने जो हम पर ये नेमत बक्षी है
उसे कोई नहीं छीन सकता हमसे
बादशाह की शाही हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक
काश ये जुदाई का आलम बिखर जाये
हम फिर पागल प्रेमियों की तरह मिलें
हम फिर से जी लें
जी लें अपनी ज़िन्दगी.