This time round....

Leaving all care to wind,I plunge myself once again into the open arms of love...

Rendering my senses senseless , I delve deeper into the poetry of love,

Pondering left for procuring earthly pleasures, I rejoice in finding the lost one again.

This time round, I have no clue how long it will last,

Last it will, a lifetime,

As, this time round it begins on a sound base of friendship...

A friendship that will be the very epitome of eternal love,

Something everyone craves for but fail to achieve.

We have moved from being mere humans in love,

To soul mates dancing to the revelry of life...

A sense of being within each others heart and soul...

A feeling least understood by the world in general.

This time round, there are no expectations...

This time round , there are no explanations...

This time round, there are no questions...

This time round, there are only answers...

For we have evolved as enlightened beings from being mere human.

This time round, there are no promises to keep...

This time round, there are no hearts to break...

This time round, two battered and worn hearts have met...

This time round, they are here to stay...

For they shall not break the unsaid promise they made to themselves...

Come hitherto world, with all your pain and aches...

We shall not be withered again... for we emerge stronger from the pain.

This time round, we walk hand in hand,

For we understand...

This time round, this is our last chance at happiness

It is the right time to harness,

All the power within to seek that blessedness,

That circled us and skirted us and missed us by a hair length...

This time round, there is no looking back,

For we walk side by side as buddies ...

Watching each others back and making space for all things big and small.

This time round, it begins with friendship and a lasting one it shall be.

Am not sure...

Am not sure about whatever that's happening these days... am confused.

What's happening? Am behaving like an infatuated teenager once again. No one's gonna like it. At this point in time when my kids should be going through these emotional phases, I am gushing all over and going gaga over lost and found property (oops!).

All those sleepless nights mooning over someone's spoken words have started again.

All those mornings waiting to hear from that someone has started again.

All those sweet nothings being exchanged has started again.

No, this is too good to be true. Somebody pinch me. Wake me up. This is impossible.

Emotions once buried deep are surfacing again and the glow shows on my being.

No, I can't fall in love once again.... not with the same man , twice over.

Someone stop me, before I trip and fall again.

This time round,

am too feeble to recover from a broken heart...

am scared ...

am not alone...

Am not sure.... enlighten me, counsel me but show me the path...

Should I take the tried and tested route to happiness and solitary bliss?

Or should I take this gamble and put all my cards in?

Am not sure....

I have to decide.... but am clueless.. my mind is a jumbled up concoction of a cocktail of emotions... What do I do? Shake it and let it settle down or just pass it up as another tale to tell to my Grandchildren later and shake my head, sigh and say... I wish I had....

If you are reading this, know this for sure.... love you I still,

But am not sure...

A poem by Maya Angelou... I am truly a woman

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

A poem by Pablo Neruda.... love it

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

Turmoil within,,,,,,

Damn these mood swings. They lead to so many turmoils deep within especially emotional ones.

The ifs and buts, the pros and cons just play and replay constantly in one's mind making thinking totally clogged up and there seems to be no escape from this dilemma.

Why do we let other people's behaviour upset us? Why are we upset by what's happening in their lives? Why do we bother even? Gosh, being human is such a pain. It dulls you and numbs your logic.Your cognitive abilities are clouded by emotions and you end up taking erroneous decisions.

One moment you are happy and in a blissful state and the next moment you are a bundle of crumpled nerves. Been there done that and yet going through the rut once again. No, I have no time for all this now..... need to move on.

Dr Help! Yelp... bail me out of this situation. Make me smile with one of your PJs. I haven't smiled today and can you imagine me without a smile ever?

Help me smile... please

Err.......... Excuse me

Excuse me please... I say, when I see you

Excuse me my exigencies

Excuse me my faults

Excuse me my ambition or lack of it

Excuse me my thoughts

Excuse me my inhibition

Excuse me my exhibition

For I know not what I am doing

Blogging my life away...

Excuse me my serendipitous nature

Excuse me my lack of know how

Excuse me my stupidity

Excuse me my idiosyncrasy

Excuse me my jealousy

For I know not what I am doing

Giving it all away...

Err... excuse me... but am not waiting any more

For I have found peace elsewhere

Excuse me but you lost the chance

When you said goodbye

You lost the day, you turned your face away

For I know one thing for sure, you are not gonna be there ever

When I really needed you

You left me confused and battered

To fight my demons and waste my life away

For I know one thing for sure, it was my fault all the way

To let you affect and influence my thoughts

To crush my beliefs and break my trust

Your lies are not what I am going to believe anymore

Excuse me for I have moved on...

With no sparkling smile again... wiped off my memory bank

Leading a dull life... I move on in search of a new destiny

Err... excuse me , sparkle I shall no more for the polish has worn off

The diamond has turned to dust... the feelings to rust

All that is left behind is a vast barren expanse

Where no flower shall bloom again...

For you crushed the seeds on your way out... when you walked away

Excuse me.... I am not waiting anymore

Kaanfused..............

After riding the waves, it's time to lay low. Let the mixed feeling ebb away else the mad rush of high tide might sweep me away. I need some me time to introspect. I need time to think , what I desire from life. I have to become self smart to take on any wave and surf the different waves of life.

At this moment, I feel life has become a big joke, throwing brickbats at times and laying flowers on my path at times. Am confused and confused I am.

I need time to rethink my priorities and logic. All this makes no sense. Suddenly there is too much happening in life and too fast. Need my space to sort out this sudden flush of events.

Basically, plain and simple, I am confused. Period. Can write no more.... the flow of thoughts is way too fast to keep pace with......... Ciao

I am afraid ...

Images from days bygone whirr like a movie reel in front of my eyes and am able to recall them in a moment although it took a lifetime to live through them.Memories I thought had faded away , remain firmly etched on my mind.

Am surprised at my behaviour. Despite all the ups and downs in life am still hopeful that one day happiness shall knock on my door. I don't understand , why do I get carried away by my emotions?Why am I even getting into the groove and talking to anyone? I am letting people read me like an open book. I must not. I must become reclusive again, there is peace in being in that state and frame of mind.

I am afraid of getting hurt again. Earlier , I was young, I could take the blow; now I can't. Images of yesteryears happy moments bring a smile on my lips yet a painful sigh escapes through them, when the wound opens up. Why did it happen to me?The days become a living hell when am flooded with these memories good and bad. Why did I open Pandora's box?

There is a constant conflict eating me away like white ants. I must switch off before I end up hurting myself and others in the process. I don't have the strength of youth to hold me steadfast against the lightening and thunder of the storms of life.... I must switch off.

In the dusk of my life, I must walk alone deep into the realms of darkness, I must walk alone...