I swear....

Yeah, I swear too. We all do , don't we. In frustration, anger and when things are not going right, we all swear. I do swear. But... there 's a difference here. i swear in a different manner. It's not that I don't know swear words ,I do. Probably I know more swear words than anyone else in this world , but I don't exhibit that prowess.

What I do is present a swear in the most refined manner. Saanp bhi marr jata hai aur lathi bhi nahi tootti. LOL

Growing up reading literature from around the world gave me the perspective to swear like a lady as in Victorian era influenced books and movies or like Captain Haddock in Tintin comics.

What I find most suited to my persona as an educator was the impeccable use of the Queen's language for swearing and am a huge Hugh Grant fan for that purpose , else Thundering typhoons and jumping jellybeans would do with kids.

That brings us to the very common 'F' word and the mother , sister kinda foul language . Well , I keep my knowledge updated in that field but do not utter the words in public. One has to know everything but chose to use it selectively.

In fact, once I had seen a video discourse on the F word by Bhagwan Rajneesh (OSHO) and it was the cutest way to put it forth. before that I had just brushed Rajneesh aside as another Guru, but he earned my respect and reverence thereafter. Have become a die hard fan of Rajneesh and his philosophy, so like mine.

It's fun to read and learn new words always and swear words are a litany of words to configure and use with a whole lot of thought process involved. I swear......... it's fun. It lets you pour it all out and feel a sense of relief at the end of it. It gives you a big 'O' if you win an argument based on the choice of words. Everybody must try it, try to swear in Queen's language, very British and beautiful. Or very funny like Captain Haddock.... leaping lizards kind.

With that, lemme go and brush up on my swearing..... Ciao

Just another day...

Just another bright new and sunny day. Another sojourn, another twist and another turn to break the monotony of a staid laid back life.

Just another day, a chance given to make changes for a better state of mind in days to come.

Just another day of promises to make to myself and the rest of the world that no matter what am going to get there.

Just another beautiful day, a chance given to enjoy the fruits of life.

Just another challenging day, to juggle chores and keep my sanity intact.

Just another day to look back and say, so far so good.

Just another day to look at my kids and feel proud that I brought them unto this world. I was the vehicle that had the fortune of carrying the best of humanity.

Just another day to thank god for all the small mercies bestowed upon me.

Just another day to test my patience.

Just another day to trouble trouble....lol

just another day to say I Love you....... ;-)

Just another day......... to feel like a woman.

Just another day to be in in love..... with myself..... lol

Just another day..............

The list is endless and it is a long day. So much to do and say and get on with... whew! Just another day....

What a day...

Amazingly high octane day. High octane drama, high octane feelings, high octane performance.... name it and everything was high octane, the anti knocking element in the petrol of my life.

Am flabbergasted that I was able to sail through the day without batting an eyelid.... as if all the forces in universe were trying to get together and make my day for me.

Am glad I went out, am absolutely comfortable with the thought that I stayed away from Twitter and Facebook for a couple of hours............ I did things that pleased people and I got a high from that. I was there for them.

I am glad I had some great conversations with some intellectual people and people appreciated my views and my knowledge on various topics. That was another high that catapulted me to another level of bliss.

To sum it, I had a great day, I am happy and I learnt a lot and gave a lot and at the end of it , I know I have my own identity and am not hiding behind someone else... or am not someone's shadow.

Foresight......Family and friends

Things are looking up. On the personal front have a lot going with family and 'friend' in tow. At the end of it all, this is what matters the most and family comes first and foremost.

The foresight of family is paying handsome dividends. one must invest in family, it pays good returns.

There would be many more ups and downs in life , but experience says one can tide over every obstacle if your family is with you. they don't have to be physically present, all that is needed is their unstinting emotional support. Nothing else matters then.

There does come a time when you have to choose the best out of the options available to you and believe me , family chips in with the soundest advice. there could be some hilarious advises too, and some really silly and outdated ones and some which might pinch you , but what the heck, it's family and even if you fall down , the family will help you on your feet again and again.

I pity those who don't have a family and lead a lonesome life fraught with problems ,mostly self created because they have friends but don't turn to them in times of need.

I have some great friends , bachpan ke dost. They are not there physically with me but keep an eye on me and are there always no matter what.

Thanks to advancement in technology, my friends keep a tab on my whereabouts and emotions and chip in with their support and advise. That's what matters and nothing else does.

My family and friends are the sails of my boat and steer my boat safely even in turbulent patches of the sea called life.

Today, am positive that this day is going to send a wonderful gift to me and am looking towards receiving it with all my humbleness.

On hindsight....

On hindsight, am glad it's over. It was doomed from the beginning. There was only one person giving and the other was just taking, hoarding n selfish, self centered fool.

Come to think of it, there was no fire in it, no warmth, a coldness which was hard to detect but now looking back , yes the perspective has changed.

There was a beggar and he was always begging and a benevolent benefactor giving always. There was a dog who begged for morsels and the master gave it all, but dogs are faithful, this dog was unfaithful and so one day the master just kicked him out of his home and life.

Now, the dog roams the streets of the nether world begging and pawing anyone passing by for sympathy and love. With his maggot ridden body, pallid face and diseased condition people pitied him and threw bits and pieces of food for him, but how long can anybody feed a parasite, not long. One day he was caught by the municipal authorities and thrown out of the city in the wasteland where he laments, raves and rants of days bygone and his miseries.... But there is no one to listen to him.

What a story to ponder about!

Let's not forget, we have a purpose in life, do your bit for mankind and move on. Do not linger in the past, it has nothing to offer you but an experience that should help you discern between who is there for you and who isn't.

Thanks MEENA, I took your advise seriously and spat out all the anger albeit in a more civilized manner than what you had suggested.

Love you for being there for me . LOL...wink!!!

I know...

I know you are hurting , so am I..... but the twain can't meet, it is fated so.

We are birds of different feather that can't flock together.

Your aspersions and my apprehension , a mixed bag of guilt, shame and drama....

No , it's too late to start all over again....

This happens always and always we end up hurting each other...

There is no end to this ranting.... there is no beginning to this end

all that there is , is NO MORE

Lots to confess....

Yes, there's lots to confess and so many apologies to tender.... LOL.

What the heck.... why should I apologize? and, pray why not?

A constant dilemma playing in the annals of my dense brain/mind.

Gosh, my confessions are gonna put me in the dock. But , have to confess before I die, at least.

Dunno when that's gonna be , but must confess, I want to die beautifully.

Now, the question arises, what is dying beautifully all about? Funny indeed, makes you give a sarcastic laugh. Yeah, I know.... I couldn't write "Dying young", coz am not young anymore. But, I don't wanna die old.

There's so much I want to do, yet I know there's very little time left. So, the best way to do everything is use the fastest medium available to travel through time and space ..... MY MIND.

In my mind, I have visited places , have paired with the best (wink){there's something wicked about this confession} and cooked the most exotic dishes and ... so on.

Sometimes, your dreams become your reality and I have seen some of my dreams turn into reality. albeit it takes time though.

Lemme confess, the reason I blog is to take it all out and it's eternity. Yes, when I am no more, I want my children to know what I was all about and why I did what I did always, why I said what I said and why one day I just shut up and walked away.

I owe it to my kids. They come foremost in all the decisions I take, coz they are my responsibility and are the most beautiful gifts anyone could ever get.

Today, I have the time, tomorrow I might not have the time to write, so am writing as much possible, penning(blogging) my thoughts and sentiments away as they come in the mind and my fingers tap the keyboard letters to give them shape and sense.

My dad used to say, follow your heart , the rest will follow soon. Yes, that's true, and I stuck to the adage and followed my heart always and must confess , he was right.

Today, I have reached a point from where there's no looking back, the journey only gets steeper and tougher and it's a one way ticket to heaven. Success has come at a cost of personal loss, but it has come and at the pinnacle am standing alone, lonely , yes but knowing fully well that it was destined to happen. No fault of mine, just destiny.

More on destiny later...ciao

Walking by...

Walking by the meandering meadows , nestled amongst the beauty of nature, I contemplate and introspect the meaning of life and come out of this reverie positive that whatever happened so far in my life had a meaning , a purpose... a lesson well learnt.

Today, I am ready to take on new challenges and embark on new adventures, experiment further with my life and my time. Phew! What a feeling ! A feeling of exhilaration, a mixed bag of emotions all spiked up with the thought of starting fresh all over again.

Am joined by a few real good friends, who held my hand when I was slipping away.

Thanks for being there folks.

Am seeing the world from a whole new perspective, a resolve not to cow down to the emotional downturns that may come up, impediments meant to test me and my patience, my perseverance.

It's like being born again, looking at things from the eyes of a child just beginning to comprehend the mysteries of the world and all the trivia in it.

Things are looking positive.......... and on that note , I am out of here for some time...

Dasvidaniya.... Phir milenge