Love is a waste of time?

Listening to a popular song ...
Love is a bhaste of  time and ...
I am back into days of yore ...
When I was sixteen ...
We were sixteen ...
And in love ...
Yet all knew , except us ...
He would watch me from his position ...
From the first bench ...
I would hide behind girls ....
On the last bench ...
He a math genius ...
I , a dumb dodo ...
This continued for a year ...
And, then one day I left.

Twenty and eight years later ...
One night at 8 pm ...
When I was drunk in my sorrows ...
I got a call ...
When I was near the Sai Mandir ...
It was him ...
Donald Duck was all came to my mind ...
He was inquiring about admission ...
For his kids in my School ...
I recognised him ...
I don't know how ...
We had never interacted ...
Yet, I recognised his voice and him ...
I believe he was surprised too.

We met ...
His twins got admission ...
In the school I head ....
Then the meetings happened ...
We met ...
Everyday ...
Just a waste of time ...
This love is a waste of time ...
A beautiful waste of time ...
When reality strikes ...
One needs to plug one's emotions ...
I had to stop it...
But, how ...
I had to hurt his feelings ...
Make him hate me ...
I did just that ...
I avoided meeting him ...
Officially and unofficially ...
For I had nothing to lose but ...
He had everything to lose ...
One can't unlove ....
But, yes ...
For one's love ...
One needs to disappear yet again ...
This time a conscious decision ...
And, I became invisible to him ...
Inaccessible to him ...
Made him hate me ...
But, it was needed ...
Coz' Love is a bhaste of tym ...
I love him ....
So, I walked away...
Far away ...
So, the shadow remains ...
The soul has left the building.

Love is a waste of time ...
Humming , am wasting my time ...
My way , in my aloneness ...
Loving him as before ...
From far ... yet so near always ...
For I can't unlove ...
Am made for love ...
But, am also synonymous with sacrifice...
On the altar of love ...
One more love ...
Become a legend ...
A story to talk about  ...
Of love lost and found ...
And, lost again.

When I read ...

When I read ...
All  read is you ...
All I want is You ...
A fairytale with you ...
In my dreams with eyes wide open ...
All I want is you.

Withering under the Cold winter Sun ..
Shivering to the core ...
In the Wintry nights ...
All I want is you ....
To cuddle into ....
And read books ....
Books , where ...
Every word is about you ....
You spill out of every character ....
Every image ...
Just of you ....
My World ...
Just you.

Looking into those brooding eyes ....
Reading them ...
For they the books of your experiences ....
My love ...
Waking up in your arms ...
Looking at you sleeping ...
Blissfully unaware of my long loving stare ...
Thanking the Creator ...
For having made us ...
For each other.

When I read ...
All I read is you.

The Little Giant...

Walking along the promenade she saw...
This little man with  a big heart ...
He was the beggar from the street beyond ..
But, here...
Here he was the Giant with a big heart .

The one to whom we gave alms ...
Each day make his ends meet ...
Was feeding the street dogs ...
And loving and cuddling them.

Here, we pay for our happiness ...
And, there....
There he was....
Being loved unconditionally.

He touched her heart in ways unknown ...
The simple gesture of sharing what he had...
with his silent partners ..
He touched her heart.

The little giant ...
With  a heart of Gold ..
Taught her lessons ...
Big Universities could never teach ...
He taught her to live..
One moment at a time.

I can never ...

I can never stop loving you ...
Have always loved you ...
I can't and won't talk to you ever again ...
But, I can write to you here ...
This was and a is a love ...
That transcends every boundary ...
Ranaji ...
Donald Duck ...
None can ever match upto you ...
I love you and will love you till my last breath ...
I avoid you ...
I don't look at you ...
It is my decision to stay away from you ...
But, in my heart and thoughts ...
You are always there ...
Your hPpiness and success ...
Is all that I wanna see ...
For that if I have to kill myself ...
I shall happily do so...
Ypu came back in my life ...
It was divine intervention...
But, to chuck you out of my life ...
Was my decision...
I will love you always ...
I shall worship your image ...
But, I shall never see you again ...
For your happiness is all I seek ...
With me tnere is no life ..
No happiness ...
For I walk alone ...
The path I have chosen ...
The road I made for myself ...
Shall never be tread upon by another. ..
I love you and you shall ...
Remain in this  heart of stone...
Within the frigid rigid walls  ...
As my own.

I love you Ranaji ...

Adieu my love

Love Nest

A place for being oneself in his arms ...
To be with each other ...
From prying eyes they hide ...
And meet in a warm place ...
Their love nest.

She being his forever ...
In his arms or without ...
Not for the soil tney tread upon ...
Nor the clouds above ...
Their nest created ...
In a space someplace in dreams ...
Their heaven ...
Not for the World to see ...
For his eyes and hers ...
She awaits his arrival ...
In their love nest.

The Winter hue of love ...

Love ...
Has many colours ...
Many shades ...
Different shades for different moods ...
But hues of love ...
She is currently in the wintry hue of love ...
Cool ... chilled out ...
Dancing each day to tunes of love Sufi style.

More of a saintly garb ...
No use crying tears ...
When one can share love ...
Each day with a smile.

No more longing for lost love ...
She walks with a spring in her strides ...
Long energetic strides ...
Making music in her thoughts ...
Her smiles ...
Awakening all senses in senseless people ...
People waiting for her smile ...
Each day , the numbers increasing ...
For they say ...
She brings them Luck.

Her Lucky smile ...
All the rosy blush ...
Of the Winter hue ...
She smiles ...
An ear to ear grin ...
Bringing warmth to every heart.

Once gone, they don't come back ...

They don't come back once gone ...
Only memories come haunting back...
Reminding us of our follies...
Mistakes we made unmistakenky...
They never come back ...
Our loved ones gone ...
Forever ...
They never come back ...
Once gone.

Screwed up forever ...
Memories killing us ...
We watch over our backs ...
Hoping for a glimpse of the forgotten past ...
But, they never come back ...
What comes back is zombies or coffins ...
Dead men and women walking ,...
But, never the real people.

They never really come back ...
What comes across as real ...
Is the reflection ...
Of what might have been...
But never the real thing ...
Never the reality.

Everyday a coffin is laid to rest ...

Everyday she dies...
Everyday they lay her to rest...
Everyday she dies ...
Everyday her coffin is buried.

She dies to prove her undying love ...
For the Imbecile that lives on...
Everyday they lay a shroud on her soul...
Everyday they bury her.

A ritual so ancient...
Chants and mantras helpless ...
Shd dies for hi  ...
Shd resurrects for him ...
She is immortalised in his soul ...
She lives and breatbes him.

Broken crayons...

Crimson, violet and yellow ...
One of the many crayons ...
Broken and used to bits ...
Just pieces lying about...
When gathered together ...
One colour ...
When heated together...
Just one shade ...
Broken crayons still can colour...
Just like that ...
Broken hearts can still beat...
Can still bring out a melody...
Unheard song of pain and tragedy...
Unsung before verses ...
Broken hearts with a crimson hue ...
Of tarnished love ...
Grazed and bruised souls ...
They can still sing a melody...
Unheard before.

The paint on the sheet still wet ...
From tears fallen from eyes so sad...
A trail of death ...
A path of pain ...
Tread upon by so many others.

Yes, broken crayons can still be used...

Death defies her...

She tried her level best to end her life...
To cheat life ..
To go away ..
She couldn't. ..
She lived tor her flock ...
She lived for her love...
But couldn't. ...
It hurts her to stifle herself...
She tried her best to annihilate her morta being,
But, each time death defied her

It has no intentions of taking her ...
But, what should she live for ....
A constantly violent world.

Her love she canot love,
And , yet can't see him with another ....
So, she needs to go ...
Go far away....
No , she won't be able to forget him...
She will live with his memories ....
She can't love another....
His little ones remind him of her....
And it hurts....
Innocent boys reminding of him .... she has to go away.
Goes away she does ...
With a heavy heart....
Keeping his love alive in her heart...
Vowing never to come back ...
Or ever be discovered.

She leaves behind her flock...
Her own flesh and blood...
Wondering what will become of them...
And crying to her hearts content.

She walks away in the middle of the night ....
Never ever to return.
Hurting deep within...
The pain of a mother....
The pain.  of love lost ...she just walks away never to return.

She doesn't know where she is heading...
All she knows is ....
No more emotions to tie her down.....
A steley resolve....
Heavy on her chest ...
She eggs on her journey never to return.

Know he who reads her ...
She loved you, she loves you and will always love you....
Whether they be her flock or her first love.

Debauchery thy name is love...

He came I  suddenly ...
Like a wind ...
The symbol of Adultery...
Thesign of debauchery...
Name apt ...
The Symbol ...
The leader that leads to destruction ...
His flock...
The verh symbol ...
The Pratik as the Indians say ...
Of sex and lies ...
Of conniving heidiousness ...
The devil in disguise...
Dressed as a Salesman...
Thedeathless vermin...
Fancying himself as handsome ...
How he survived all these conniving years ...
He is a walking symbol of weakness ...
Festering in the womb of his mother ...
He gained strength ...
To dishonour the family name.

Pure in her love,
She saw him trying to kill her ...
The scum of Earth ...
The Conman ...
Roams free ...
Sleepless devising ways ...
To ensnare another.

His debauchery unadulterated truth ...
To sagisfy his satanic libido.

She laughs...

She laughs the last ...
When she witnesses the Hippo ...
In all her foolhardiness ...
Bouncing around ...
Her boobs pouncing up to her cheeks ...
The fatso ...
Enjoying presumably ...
In her dreams with the Salesman.

What a scene ...
They create ...
In falsifying ...
And denying there ain't nothing wrong ...
Else the Conman wouldn't be laying others ...
Either she lacks in something ...
Or he has a high libido as he claims.

She laughs at their false happiness ...
She laughs last ...
When all fall aparts in their World ...
For she has her own vices too...
Her demons to fight ...
The ljmp of fatty acids and lipids ...
Has an alternate to the gamer ...
She lives with ....
The known fella ...
Who visits her in his absence ..
Whom she meets and mates in his absence ...
She laughs last ...
Clearly evident ...
A family of weirdos ...
They live in a false utopian world ...
Of sex , connivance and   ...
Adultery

It wasn't so hard to ignore ...

A large gathering, a public event... He came in with the Hippo tagging along. It wasn't so hard to ignore him  and the Hippo. The Tigress knew, it was just stale meat and a junk load of Fatty acids and lipids rumbling across the preying fields. She coolly moved away ... taking the cubs with her for the day to begin with.

Who could have thought that the one whom the Tigress loved all her life was nothing but a cunning Fox in a Lion's mask. But, when she did know the reality, she just cut him off from her list of likable animals. She had other things to occupy her, her thoughts and her actions.

The sly fox , watching her every move through the corner of his eyes ... slithering around , hiding behind bushes , She just ignored those so evident moves ... for her focus was on the little ones and the pride of the Jungle.

Had the pride of the Jungle not been at stake, she would have gladly exposed the cheap fox and the Hippo tagging along for the heinous crime committed to make their ends meet.

Welcome to the Jungle! And, I am the Queen ... Any doubts? Better clear them before I pounce upon you and annihilate you completely, devouring your artificial happiness... clawing you to a painful death.

Ritsuka...

She was named Ritsuka ...The successful one ...The most beautiful one.

Born, a mistake ...She lived life on the edge...Always on the move ...Living out of suitcases, she was a vagabond on the move always.

Ritsuka, having left a life of luxuries lived life on her own terms which always brought on the edge of a precipice, life changing decisions that left her alone in her journey, yet move on she did and as always today again she must take herchances , come to a decision and move away from the crowd that gathers around her.

She walks away, with what little she has on her ... stops for a moment, turns around , sees happy smiling faces ... gives a knowing smile , a small laughter escapes her throat and she walks away.

By the time people realize her absence, she had already gone too far into the mountains , away from human connections and in a far away place hidden from the reality of the urban jungle she had left behind. Ritsuka was no more Ritsuka , she was just another free spiritroaming the wilderness , a white light that couldn't be contained. She was no more a mortal being ... she was the light that people saw on moonless nights, guiding weary travellers lost in the forest of nowhere ... leading them to a meaningful life.

Ritsuka with the hair of the wise one adorning her scalp ... The most beautiful  damsel ... wandering the forgotten land of the forgotten ones ... rises from the ashes each day as a beacon  of hope for the countless millions wretchedly drenched I  their penury of life, reeking of death ... she imparts a scent to their rotting bodies.

Ritsuka ... the untouched virgin beauty ... walks the heaven on Earth.

This is why I love you ...

When I am really hurting ...
When I am blurting it all out ...
When am sad ...
When I lash out ...
You remain calm ...
You remain in the background ...
You don't say a word ...
You just remain you ...
That is why ...
This is why I love you ...
Whatever I do,
Whatever is my reaction ...
I do it all for you ...
I do it all for us.

I could have gone away ...
Yet, I stood my ground ...
I killed my own ...
Stifled and stood tall ...
I do it all for you ...
I do it all for us.


My love for you shall remain forever ..
Embedded deep within ....
Eyes crying ...
Tears rolling down ...
I still shall not know you ...
I stayed behind ...
Just for you.

Coz' all I know is ...
I can't unlove you ...
So...
I do it all for you ...
I do it for us.

The Temple of Love ...

Home ...
The Real Temple of Love ...
Of Dignity and pride ...
In one's name and pride ...
The Lioness that hunts for her cubs ...
She is the Tigress ...
That protects her own ...
Her Life may be a turmoil ...
But, never the heat ...
Touches her loved ones ...
Her Home ...
Her Temple of Peace ...
Her young ones ...
Her Strength.

Walking the difficult paths of life...
A journey not alone ...
Her stoic companions ...
Her little ones ...
No, she won't squander that love ...
For temporary feelings ...
Wayward humans ...
Her life waves ...
Rising and falling ...
Typhoons come and go ...
But, her Temple stands Strong ...
Built on unconditional Love ...
Her Temple withstands all Hurricanes ...
Proud in the stance taken ...
She preens her wings ...
To yet face another challenge.