The Journey starts yet again ...

      

A new adventure to begin with ...
Back again to the place ...
From where she started from scratch before ...
A life that was left behind ...
Revisiting her past ...
A sense of catharsis taking root ...
In her conscience ...
All she knows ...
Is she is a monk ...
Realizing her moksha ...
Letting it all go ...
Unaffected by peoples emotions ...
All her life living for others ...
Now, starting to live for herself ...
Baby steps ...
Strong bold steps though ...
In the belief that ...
Peace becomes her.

A mind and heart in turmoil ...
She leaves behind bitter sweet memories ...
Some loved ones ...
Some very dear ...
Stifling the sobs ...
Wiping the tear in the corner of her eye ...
She moves on ...
Marches on ...
The Soldier of her own destiny yet again.

Bring it on!!!

She starts afeesh ...
From where she left off...
In search of a new destination...
The foot soldier marches on ...
A new travelogue to be written ...
A new name ...
A new place ...
She moves into a new realm ...
A familiar place but ...
With a another destiny awaiting. ..
All the old life left behind ...
The foot soldier soldiers on.

The past but a distant memory ...
Her life a new story to begin with ...
Another chapter ...
Another history to create.

She marches on ...
A new destination ...
A new fate awaiting her ...
Nothing of the past in her kitty anymore ...
A new identity ...
A new face
She looks destiny in the eye and says ...
Bring it on!!!

In the dark allies. ..

Looking back ...
She sees only darkness ...
In those dark allies ...
Are buried her memories ...
Memories of yesterday ...
Yesterdays trials and tribulations ...
Some good ...
Some sordid tales of pain...
She had forgotten them ...
But, suddenly they loom large ...
On her mind ...
Playing yet another game ...
Of hide and seek.

A painful experience ...
A beautiful memory ...
All buried deep somewhere ...
Screaming from their graves ...
Asking to be exhumed ...
Making her look back ...
The screams from those coffins ...
Laid to rest ...
Those screams beckoning her ...
To open the Pandora's box again.

She wonders ...
Whether to unleash the beasts ...
Or let ghem remain buried ...
A dilemma ...
A pendulum going to and fro ...
Her mind a shamble of emotions ...
What to do ...
And, what not to do.

Those dark allies ...
Lanes long forgotten ..
Rear their ugly heads again ...
She ...
A mixed bag of emotions ...
Hetherto unknown  to herself ...
Wonders why.

Suddenly...

Suddenly ...

Nothing matters ....

All those mushy talks ...

The sleepless nights ...

The exhilaration ...

Nothing at all ...

Just a blank expression ...

No feelings to express ...

Just no feelings at all...

The person a distant thought ...

A part of memory ...

Gone blank.

Suddenly ...

There is no morose ...

Just no feelings ...

No expressions...

No void ...

One has moved ahead.

Love is a waste of time?

Listening to a popular song ...
Love is a bhaste of  time and ...
I am back into days of yore ...
When I was sixteen ...
We were sixteen ...
And in love ...
Yet all knew , except us ...
He would watch me from his position ...
From the first bench ...
I would hide behind girls ....
On the last bench ...
He a math genius ...
I , a dumb dodo ...
This continued for a year ...
And, then one day I left.

Twenty and eight years later ...
One night at 8 pm ...
When I was drunk in my sorrows ...
I got a call ...
When I was near the Sai Mandir ...
It was him ...
Donald Duck was all came to my mind ...
He was inquiring about admission ...
For his kids in my School ...
I recognised him ...
I don't know how ...
We had never interacted ...
Yet, I recognised his voice and him ...
I believe he was surprised too.

We met ...
His twins got admission ...
In the school I head ....
Then the meetings happened ...
We met ...
Everyday ...
Just a waste of time ...
This love is a waste of time ...
A beautiful waste of time ...
When reality strikes ...
One needs to plug one's emotions ...
I had to stop it...
But, how ...
I had to hurt his feelings ...
Make him hate me ...
I did just that ...
I avoided meeting him ...
Officially and unofficially ...
For I had nothing to lose but ...
He had everything to lose ...
One can't unlove ....
But, yes ...
For one's love ...
One needs to disappear yet again ...
This time a conscious decision ...
And, I became invisible to him ...
Inaccessible to him ...
Made him hate me ...
But, it was needed ...
Coz' Love is a bhaste of tym ...
I love him ....
So, I walked away...
Far away ...
So, the shadow remains ...
The soul has left the building.

Love is a waste of time ...
Humming , am wasting my time ...
My way , in my aloneness ...
Loving him as before ...
From far ... yet so near always ...
For I can't unlove ...
Am made for love ...
But, am also synonymous with sacrifice...
On the altar of love ...
One more love ...
Become a legend ...
A story to talk about  ...
Of love lost and found ...
And, lost again.

When I read ...

When I read ...
All  read is you ...
All I want is You ...
A fairytale with you ...
In my dreams with eyes wide open ...
All I want is you.

Withering under the Cold winter Sun ..
Shivering to the core ...
In the Wintry nights ...
All I want is you ....
To cuddle into ....
And read books ....
Books , where ...
Every word is about you ....
You spill out of every character ....
Every image ...
Just of you ....
My World ...
Just you.

Looking into those brooding eyes ....
Reading them ...
For they the books of your experiences ....
My love ...
Waking up in your arms ...
Looking at you sleeping ...
Blissfully unaware of my long loving stare ...
Thanking the Creator ...
For having made us ...
For each other.

When I read ...
All I read is you.

The Little Giant...

Walking along the promenade she saw...
This little man with  a big heart ...
He was the beggar from the street beyond ..
But, here...
Here he was the Giant with a big heart .

The one to whom we gave alms ...
Each day make his ends meet ...
Was feeding the street dogs ...
And loving and cuddling them.

Here, we pay for our happiness ...
And, there....
There he was....
Being loved unconditionally.

He touched her heart in ways unknown ...
The simple gesture of sharing what he had...
with his silent partners ..
He touched her heart.

The little giant ...
With  a heart of Gold ..
Taught her lessons ...
Big Universities could never teach ...
He taught her to live..
One moment at a time.

I can never ...

I can never stop loving you ...
Have always loved you ...
I can't and won't talk to you ever again ...
But, I can write to you here ...
This was and a is a love ...
That transcends every boundary ...
Ranaji ...
Donald Duck ...
None can ever match upto you ...
I love you and will love you till my last breath ...
I avoid you ...
I don't look at you ...
It is my decision to stay away from you ...
But, in my heart and thoughts ...
You are always there ...
Your hPpiness and success ...
Is all that I wanna see ...
For that if I have to kill myself ...
I shall happily do so...
Ypu came back in my life ...
It was divine intervention...
But, to chuck you out of my life ...
Was my decision...
I will love you always ...
I shall worship your image ...
But, I shall never see you again ...
For your happiness is all I seek ...
With me tnere is no life ..
No happiness ...
For I walk alone ...
The path I have chosen ...
The road I made for myself ...
Shall never be tread upon by another. ..
I love you and you shall ...
Remain in this  heart of stone...
Within the frigid rigid walls  ...
As my own.

I love you Ranaji ...

Adieu my love