Sleepless in the City that never Sleeps ...

Here, In the city that never sleeps ...
I lie awake ...
Listening to the song he sang for me ...
I wonder; whether all that was really true ...
His words.... statements that made me believe in Love...
A love that makes me go crazy even thinking of him ...
Wish I could erase him from my memories ...
But a far cry from reality ...
I Just can't ...
It's hard on my feelings ...
Heavy emotions ...
But, I can't forget him ...Because I still believe HIM.

Somewhere deep down a part of me died ....
The day we lost our binding entity ...
But, yet somewhere ....
I still yearn for his return ...
But, will he?

He was trapped in a web ...
I could see his pain ...
His struggle to untangle himself ...
only led to a more excruciating pain ...
I stepped away...
To make it easier for him ..
Even that didn't help ....
He is stuck in a swamp ...
A quicksand .....
How do I help him get out of that trap?

I can't ... I won't ...
He needs to take charge of his situation ...
Be a man ...
And, take stock of the whole damn thing ...
He needs to really make up his mind...
What he really wants....
I or the rest of the World cannot decide for him...
We shouldn't either...
Our paths cross once in a while ...
I see pain in those deeply veiled eyes...
Insurmountable pain ...
I can't wipe away the stress and strain ...
I do not wield those powers anymore ...
I have given up ...
Given up the struggle to protect him and his brethren ...
Given up all hopes of ever walking into the sunset with him ...
But, yet I believe him.

Sleepless in the City that never Sleeps ...
I lie wide awake ...
Thinking of him ...
And those beautiful moments ...
With gay abandon ...
In his company ...
Secure in the knowledge he would always be there....
Sigh!

Lone Woman at the Top ...

She stands tall and proud ...
At the top ...
Strong gusts of wind ....
Threatening to topple her over ...
She stands her ground ....
Her feet dug deeply in the ground below her feet....
Yet, she stands alone ...
No one to give her company ...
It's lonely up there ...
Tears stinging the corner of her eyes ...
Streaming down her cheeks ....
She looks back down ...
Not a soul in sight ....
None that she can call her own ...
Lost souls all of them ...
Left behind ...
Souls that couldn't keep pace...
With her stride in the Journey of ascent...
She searches ....
Her eyes as vacant as the chambers of her heart...
All lost along the way ...
Success at what cost ...
A persona to reveal to the World at what cost ...
A perfect woman ...
At what cost.
There is a tug at her heart ....
A tightening within ....
An ache that's hard to bear ...
But, yet a Smile to bear ...
Pain writ large in those doe eyes ...
Yet a smile spanning the expanse of her face ...
She kept moving ...
Till she reached the Top ...
And, then there was no further ...
No hand to hold ...
Just a deep precipice ahead ...
A dark oblivion to gaping at her...
There's no turning back ...
Just a jump into the unknown ...
Living for others all her life ...
She finds none beside her after all.

Lone woman at the top ...
Lonely nights ...
Lonelier days ...
Lonely in a crowd ...
Lonely within ...
A melancholy soul ...
She trudges along the long winding path ...
Dense forests...
Vast expanse of desert ...
Oceans to cross ...
Mountains to climb ...
All alone ...
When and where does this journey end ...
Knows she not ...
All she knows is ... stop she can't ...
For that would mean an end ....
A tragic end to a story unfolding ...
A sad but true tale ...
The tale of a woman ...
From Birth to Death ...
Lonely all along.

The Almighty when he wrote her fate ...
Wrote it well ...
But, forgot in his zeal and enthusiasm...
To create a perfect being ...
To write Happiness in her kitty...
He forgot to write companions ...
He forgot to write a wealth of friends ...
All he wrote was success ...
But not a successful woman...
Her fate sealed with his mighty pen ...
She awaits her salvation ...
Knowing not when it would come ...
For the creator forgot to write ...
Salvation in her destiny.

Lone woman at the top ...
It's cold and dark up there ...
she is afraid of the dark ...
She shivers in the cold ...
Huddled and sitting still ...
She seems a far cry from the usual that the World sees.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs ...Beautiful ...

Beautiful ... fair as snow ...
She is what all seek ...
A cannabis ...
A cocaine ...
A drug ...
An elixir ...
The woman all seek ...
A beauty from dreams ....
They can only desire her ...
Possess her in their imagination ...
An illegal possession ...
Yet someone no one can do without.
She walks the Earth ...
Up and down ...
Length and breadth ...
They watch the swing of her hips ...
They heave a sigh ...
Desire is all they can ...
A dream ...
A reality never can be ...
Snow White and the vices surrounding her ...
The Seven Dwarfs ... the seven Deadly Sins ...
Man hath never known ...
Till this Eve arrived.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears ...

She epitomises the venerable Little Girl ...
The beautiful Goldilocks ...
Wandering in a forest ...
Coming upon a cottage in the woods...
The home and hearth of The Bears...
The Bears representing her desires....
The Bears her fears ...
The Bears her Life story ...
Making her a fable to remember...
Each symbolising a different character that...
Brought a change in her life ...
The Mamma Bear ... a picture of sobrierity and humility ...
A lover who sacrificed all for her.
The Baby Bear ... a selfish zealot Lover ...
Who only twisted her fate ....
Changed her forever ...
Who just wanted her for himself ...
Possessive jealous Lover ...
But, Selfish to the core.
The Papa Bear ...
Strong solid foundation of stability...
A man of Character ...
Selfless yet not letting go of her ...
Overbearing yet bearing her mood swings ...
A true man ...
The mark of a man known through his actions ...
Goldilocks Papa Bear...
Loving her through thick and thin ....
Her pillar of strength and humility ...
Her all in one Dream Man.
Yet, she runs away from him too....
Why?
Goldilocks ... an amazing story of a Girl ...
Lost in the Woods of emotions ...
Lost to herself and the World ...
Carry the story further ...
In your own words ...
See the end in your imagination.

The moments that one wants to forget ...

The moments that one wants to forget always turn around and catch up with you in some form or the other. Moments that make you who you are; moments that have shaped you, your persona, you in totality.

Absolute erosion of memories can never take place. At some point or the other the past catches up with you. You become a victim of your own circumstances. You either buckle under pressure or stand tall to face the adversity.

You either walk away from the situation or you go down fighting it. But, the memories remain. the moments remain. they come up in front of your open eyes and you just can't overlook them. You turn your face away .... But you really really can't walk away from it. They hound you, maul your soul... Tear you apart.

Incidents of today bearing semblance to yesterday crop up and you go weak in the knees. The era of yesteryear's testimony to of your pain ... conjure an image of a person wincing in pain ... expressions varied in different hue and colours of ache... an emblem of your persona ... an aura ... a halo.

The moments turn around and catch you unawares. That's what life is all about. A moment to forget yet remember what it taught you.

Paani Da Rang ... Euphoria ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPTXkEuMAGo

Nostalgia ... Euphoria ...
Met him ....
In a crowd ...
But, yet felt the closeness ...
The same electric passion ...
The same intensity ...
The same body language ...
Remembered each day ...
Relived each moment ...
The rest can be erased ...
Has been erased ...
But, not the memories and moments we shared.

Then, heard this song ...
It all came flooding back ...
Was transported into the past ...
Remembering every instance.

The last look he gave when I left ...
It said it all ...
No more needs to be communicated to know ...
The flame hasn't died.

The unsaid words ...
The look ...
The eyes ...
They said it all ...
And, I smiled and walked away ... A winner all the way.

What's Love? Really ... Sab Maya hai ...

 Love ... Love ... Love ...
A state of mental instability ...
A belief ... false belief ...
A mirage ...
Moh Maya...
Nothing but a dream that shatters ...
When reality strikes.

We act out our roles ...
Doled out by the Director ...
And then, Period ...
Silence ....
Nothing but an eerie silence...
A silence that speaks volumes ...
Yet leaves you confused ...
An unrealistic state  ...
A disbelief ...
Mean machine .... The Heart ....
Pumping blood ...
Saala yeh emotions kahan se aata hai?

Damn these feelings ...
That make you go weak in the knees ...
Damn the emotions ....
That make you sad ...
Damn the state of melancholy ...
Damn this Love ...
Dam it all ...
Put a plug ...
Stop it  in its stride ...
The more closer you get ...
The deeper is the ache.
Maya... Maya ... Maya ...

The sober and quiet heart says ...
Love is sacrifice ...
Damn this sacrifice.
The wild and free heart says...
Love is Lust...
Damn this Lust.
I don't Lust ...
I don't wanna sacrifice ...
I just wanna be ...
Be what?
Status Quo ... Unknown.

Nostalgia ... Moments I can't forget ...

You asked and I answer thus ... Those were magic moments I can never ever forget ... THEY shaped my TODAY ... My life and my Work all based on my Early Life ... Moments that shaped my destiny ... My Success ... A beautiful childhood ... Experiential experiences  ... People that mattered ... Magic to be cherished.

The running down the green hillside moments each day after school or during play ... Running into the waiting arms of my Mother ... Yes! ... My Port Blair .... My Andaman & Nicobar Islands ... The Deer on Ross Island ... Mine ... Eons ago ... But memories as fresh as the last moments. My virgin islands of days of yore ... A little Girls imagination flared up ... A fairytale life well lived. Moments of Truth ... But, yet no trauma.

A life of great fun and learning ... A schooling that left a visible impact so obvious now in my professional life ... Dream School  ... Positive impact and a Dream School of Today and Tomorrow generated.

Those days and their imprint ... My Love take me with you on my Journey back to my Childhood ... Memories that never faded nor will ever be erased ... Memories of experiences that shaped my life ... Beautiful moments. Looking back, I have no regrets ... A friend, a Philosopher, a Guide ... Found all along the way in friends and partners in life.

My Love if you go to my Dreamland ... Take me with you ... for that would be my first destination and last in this lifetime.

The Life of my dreams started years ago ... They shall end with you by my side ... Lay me to rest in the Sea ... Fodder for the marine life. My birthplace by the Sea ... My burial ground ... THE SEA.

A dream ... To be buried at Sea... From where my Journey began ... Aqua to Aqua ... Water to Water ... Not ashes to ashes ... I wasn't born from ashes ... Am the culmination of the five elements ... seen all ... the water left to feel.

Nostalgic moments ... moments of truth ... My final resting place ... Heaven on Earth ... The taste of the nectar of the forbidden fruit ... The cashew I chewed upon ... The Apple ... Custard apples that nearly bled me to death ... The parrot parody at Akaashwani ... The berries in the Graveyard ... No fear ... Just fun ... Living by the Sea and dipping in each day.

Moments that rev me up ... moments that give me a kick ... a high no drug can give ... your Childhood lived again.