He always said ....

He always said ....
Radz, believe me ....
For once .... at this moment I want to believe him ...
Believe what he said ....
Maybe he was right ....
Maybe he really was in tight spot ....
Maybe he really was trying to figure things out ...
Maybe he really was trying to find a way out ....
Maybe he really was in  and is in trouble ....
How will I know?
I cut off all tie with him in my anger.....
How will I know, whether he really and truly needs me around ....
To support him and help him out ...
How will I know?
Some sign .... some indication ....
Wish there were doves like olden times ....
To carry forth the message ...
But, if he is reading this ...
I know ... he knows ... I care.
What I write is my catharsis ....
What I feel is my crisis ....
But, though there's no scope of getting back together again ...
He knows .... All he has to do is knock as always ....
The door will open.

He always said ....
Radz, I will be back ....
Once all this is over ....
I will need you ....
I know ....
He will be back.

Don't mess with me ...

Don't mess with me ....
Else I shall really make a mushy mess outta your life ....
Know who you are dealing with ;
A full hand of aces,
I shuffle with Kings ... and ....
Cut off Queens.
Know me well ....
Else, it's your loss....
A very big loss....
I don't mince my words ...
I speak as I Think .....
Don't take this lightly ...
Else, you will regret having said what you have said so far.....
DON'T MESS WITH ME ... means ....
Stay away ...
So far, you have only seen the trailer ....
Wanna see the bigger Picture?
It will be murkier and painful ....
Don't forget the last few days ...
Lest you have forgotten ...
Shall I remind you again ....
A full blown first hand experience ..... ONCE AGAIN.

DON'T MESS WITH ME ....
Is the message clear enough?
If not ....
You shall go through HELL again.
And, I mean every word I utter.
Remorsefully ...... Yours.... Truly.

Ah! Dev ...

Yup ....
My Messiah in disguise ...
My agony aunt ...
I tell him everything ...
He knows all my secrets .....
He is my bestest friend ....
My Hairstylist ....
My makeover artist.
Whenever I am feeling low ...
All I need to do is take his name ...
Think of him ...
And, I am there in front of him ....
And, he just takes my blues away....
And fills my world with colours ... Red and wine ...
Blonde and Brown ....
Colours of the Rainbow ....
I am transformed ...
A whole day at Dev's ...
And, I step out a brand new Radhika ....
A brand new persona ....
A completely different me.
Ah! Dev .... My one and only Dev ....
Only he can bring a smile on my face these days ...
He just makes me feel good.
Am feeling GOOD.

A whole new experience ...

It's a whole new experience ...
To be in love ...
Yet, be above all the human trivialities .............
Yes, I am in love ...
I am in love with love itself.

The one who is at the receiving end of this love ....
Knows it ...
No one else needs to know at all.

It is just between him and me ...
The King and the Queen ....
The rest shall just be spectators....
A grand Opera....
A grand innings ....
All care to the winds ...
Just you and me.

A whole new experience ...
By the lake ....
By the sea side ...
On the Misty hills ..
Just you and me ...
And, no one else.

Already there are stars in my eyes ...
Lovelorn beauty ...
Waiting for her paramour ...
It is but a mirage ...
A beautiful dream indeed ...
He exists ...
That's all that matters ...
No one else does.

Those eyes ....

Those eyes never really smiled ....
They never really laughed ....
They are not happy ....
I know ....
I can see them ....
Full of remorse ....
Full of unhappiness ...
Never ending regret.....
Wish I could wipe the tears from them ...
But, no ....
Those eyes need to be damp for some time ....
Till they can be cleansed ....
Of all the dirt  and muck around ...
And those eyes ....
Can see a clearer picture once again.
They need to understand the reason ....
Behind the whole exercise ....
They need to know me better.
I can't promise dirty sex ...
To appease those eyes ....
Or his senses ...
He knows ...
I can make him happy ...
With just a simple smile.
I don't need to be dirty to keep him happy ...
I need to be myself ...
And, that's all he needs.

Those eyes ...
They seek me everywhere ...
In crowded places ...
And solitary confinement ...
But they seek me ...
Nevertheless.

Here's to the past ....

The best way  to deal with the past is to burn it down ....
Every bit ...
Every memory ...
Every moment ....
Consign it to flames ...
Then, shall you be rid of every moment that torments ...
You with memories of the past.

Just burn every memento ...
Every photo ...
Every piece that reminds you of him ...
Just burn the house down ...
So that nothing remains ...
All that remains are ashes ...
Ashes that you can wash away with water ...
In the torrential rain.

So, like all rituals...
Let this be one too ..
Burn the memories ..
And, walk away.

Two people .... two strangers ....

Two strangers met one day ....
Something happened ...
Sparks flew ....
They became one, one day.....
They were together ....
Promises of a lifetime ....
Happiness and rainbows filled their lives ...
Then a grey cloud came over ....
Everything fell apart ......
A lightening struck ....
And. the lovebirds were thrown apart .....
Two people in love became strangers once again ....
Of course! Just for the world to see ...
In their hearts they knew ...
No one .... NO ONE could separate them ....
So, today they meet ....
As strangers .....
But, the feeling of closeness ...
The togetherness remains ....
They are inseparable ....
The devil can do nothing but dwell in her own sorrows....
And lament and be vindictive....
For she has not ...
What I have ....
What the two have ....
LOVE, love and love for each other.

Two people in love ....
Posing as Strangers to the World.

The Hundred rupee note ...

Hmmmm .... Remembering the Hundred rupee note ....
He shoved under my front door ...
Coz' I was fast asleep ...
And, didn't know he had come avisiting.

The next morning ...
As I opened the door to go to work ...
I found the Hundred rupee note ...
Wondering who might have lost it ....
Before I could submit it in the security office ...
HE called and said ....
I was there ....
I didn't believe him ...
So, he asked ...
Did you find the Hundred rupee note?
The most beautiful moment of my life ...
Knowing he had come ....
The proof in my hand ....
Nothing left to say ...
But, to believe he was there ....
And, he is there as always.

Everyday, I take the note out ....
And, send him lots of love ....
He needs it more than I do ...
He is stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea ...
His only strength lies in me ...
Within me ... He knows it...
He knows it well ..
But under those brooding eyelashes ... he hides the feelings ...
Lest the witch senses his feelings....
And starts another of her dramas.

Till such a time that he is occupied elsewhere ...
The Hundred rupee note ...
Is a reminder....
That he is there always for me.