Eulogies ....

Today we celebrated Teachers Day in School ..... Just the Staff and me. It was fun .... theme being Bad Gurlz ... we all let our hair loose .. I hardly have any but we just shed all inhibitions and had a gala time followed by Luncheon at a Restaurant and gifts showered on the teachers.

Everybody performed and I did too. I sang the song Maa used to love to hear me sing .... Every eye was moist.

I have had many teachers having studied all my life ... but she taught me about life. She was my best teacher .... I just forgot a few lessons in between .... Now I have learnt them well .... life taught me the hard way.... direct experience. But, nevertheless .... I learnt them well.

This tribute.... This eulogy goes to the best teacher in the World .... Maa.

I Know who I am .... Do you?

You are just a leech ....
A parasite sucking someone else's blood ...
Don't challenge me ....
Isn't the past few days experience .....
Proof enough of my strength?

I don't need to prove myself to anybody ....
I Known who I am.....
Do you know who you are?
No. you don't.....
Else you wouldn't be begging ...
To stay in a relation that sucks.

Rest assured ....
I don't spit and lick it ...
My spit is for you to lick ....
My leftover for you to partake....
That is all you need to survive ...
Exist ...
But, not live.
Each day... I know ..
I am aware it's a struggle ....
For you to get their approval ....
You will never reach there....
There will always be a nagging feeling ....
You are just being used....
Used like a sanitary pad ...
And, then one day thrown in the garbage .....
Where you truly belong.

There's so much to write about ...

There are bees and birds to write about ....
There are creepy, crawlies to write about ....
There's so much to write about ....
There's my farm with wild boars to write about ...
There's my outhouse in my farm to write about ...
There's my Dollhouse to write about ....
There's my tea set to write about ....
There's so much to write about ...
There are those skeletons in my cupboard to write about ....
I don't open it ....
Lest they all fall out and yikes make a mess on my bedroom floor ...
There's my beautiful jewellery to write about ....
There was a shine in his eyes when he saw my diamonds ....
I know he flicked a couple of my blings ...
I overlooked it ...
Knowing fully well....
What his financial condition is like ...
Not knowing he was taking it for the Bar Girl and her litter.
There's so much to write about...
Lots ....
The moolah in cash he took to sustain the Hoe ....
The gifts he made me buy for his mom ....
It all sucks to remember that ...
There's so much to write about.
But, it makes no sense at all ....
We all see beggars on the roads ...
At the traffic signals....
They remind me of him ....
Just a fleeting glimpse ....
That's all.

There's so much to write about ....
Yet, so little to remember now.

As you sow, so shall you reap ....

Jaisi karni, waisi bharni ...
As you sow, so shall you reap ...
Lie begets lies ....
Bigots beget bigots ....
Yeah! The lingo is too high fund ...
Stuff you won't understand...
Given your background and circumstances ...
Uneducated, uncouth and unkempt ...
That's what you guys are all about ...
What would you know of ...
Elite class?
You are but a bunch of wannabes..
Just wannabes ....
And, nothing else.
So, you get what you worked so hard for ...
Two little Dickeybirds ...
Oops... Jailbirds...
Right ...
The right stamp on your forehead.
Why do you finger me?
You know that I get angry when someone fingers me ...
Then why call upon my anger?
It will destroy whatever else is left....
Then what will you do?
So, steer clear....
Out of my path ....
The Queen doesn't like interference.

ELSE .....
As you sow, so shall you reap....
Then don't blame me for the consequences ...
The turn of events taking place.
Don't cross my path ever again ....
I drive in high speed ...
Speed kills.

Am Happy ....

The exercise that I did ...
It's shown result ...
The daughter has got her father ...
The wife her infidel husband ....
I never had intentions of using my leftover again .....
It was for you that I did what I did ...
Otherwise, he would never have come back to you ....
He came asking for your help ...
You were there for him ...
What else is needed?
Nothing.
Enjoy your life now.
I have mine to live.
I never look back ..
What's gone is gone ...
It wasn't meant to be anyways ...
He isn't my type ...
I am from a different set up ...
Elite ...
He is from the gutters .....
And, that's where he belongs ....
He could never have gelled with my lot ...
He is crass ...
WE are a class apart.
So, Enjoy the bliss ...
And, stop feeling insecure ...
There is more to life ....
You have a child to support ...
You really don't know who  I AM .....
I give a damn ....
To you.
Have you ever realized why I never changed my name?
My marital name...
Coz' no one .... can take the place of the one whom I belonged to.
The name is a legend to reckon with ...
It has a glorious past ....
It belongs to the builders of this nation ...
Past, present and future ....
I belong to such a family ....
Not some godforsaken roadside clan.
Your episode got me together again.....
With my family ....
This time as a DAUGHTER ....
The daughter shall do her father proud ...
Not run after some stale piece of meat.

Am happy ...
It is all over ...
The rest will happen by and by ...
My role in this drama is over ...
A new role awaits me.

The Storm ...

I remember ....
The walks in the rain ....
As a child ....
With gay abandon ...
And, now as an adult ....
Crying my heart out ....
Lest someone sees my tears.

Life isn't really about waiting for it all to happen ...
Or the storm to pass ...
It's all about ...
Braving the adversity ...
Braving the wind and the rain ...
Walking tall against every problem that rises ...
Head held high ...
Self esteem in place ...
Who doesn't have problems ..
It's how we overcome them that matters.

I am done with my last problem...
Am all geared for a new turn in life ..
Let's see what this new twist brings with it ...
Some more emotions .. to express...
Some more to write about.

The Storm came ...
And, is passing by ....
Am out of it ....
Though in the midst of it....
It doesn't affect me anymore ...
I have found a safe haven ...
Found my family back again ...
This time as a daughter ...
Her father is there to guide her ...
He watches over her ....
I have been reunited by the last havoc of the storm ...
With my family ...
That is what is the silver lining in the dark grey clouds.

The storm took the toxins away ...
It brought forth the Garden of Eden ....
Must be her work from up above ...
Yes, she the naughty one ....
She was always up to pranks ...
But, this time a positive one ....
For some time I was hassled ...
Not anymore ...
Nothing affects me anymore ....
Am happy ...
Just plain joyously happy.

Am dancing in the rain ....
It has washed away the pain of yesteryear's ...
A new spring has begun ...
New leaves ...
A beautiful garden of flowers.... Indeed.

Baharon Phool Barsao - She just loved to sing this .....

Gham Diye Mustaqil (K.L.Saigal) (Shahjahaan 1946) ..... Her Favourite song ....