Sunday, July 29, 2018

Trigger Happy...

Going through the mundane chores of a nasty Sunday morning, she seems trigger happy.


What has triggered that smile on her lips ?


A Faraway look, as though she's in Dreamland. What happened in the past few days to have made her so at peace with herself?


No, she's not on some mood enhancers. Neither is she a brethren of anybody nor waiting for anyone. Suddenly, her solitude is all she craves for. The emptiness within is such a bliss. It echoes her non-existent feelings. For long, she's waited for this silence. The trigger to Happiness, her silence within.


There's no chaos. There's no turbulence. An inner calm.
Or, is it true there's a lull before a storm?


The trigger is in her hand ... She uses it or not , depends on the silence within.


Shadows...

She was herself...
Fiercely independent...
With a mind of her own ..
She lived life on her terms ...
She was not born ...
To live under shadows ...
Shadows of ghosts of the past ...
She was born wild and free ...
The spirit of her soul ...
Has seen many journeys...
Journeys solo and in company...
She prefers to go solo ...
She wasn't born to live under shadows...
Shadows of ghosts of the past.

Trigger Happy

Going through the mundane chores of a nasty Sunday morning, she seems trigger happy.

What has triggered that smile on her lips ?

A Faraway look, as though she's in Dreamland. What happened in the past few days to have made her so at peace with herself?

No, she's not on some mood enhancers. Neither is she a brethren of anybody nor waiting for anyone. Suddenly, her solitude is all she craves for. The emptiness within is such a bliss. It echoes her non-existent feelings. For long, she's waited for this silence. The trigger to Happiness, her silence within.

There's no chaos. There's no turbulence. An inner calm.
Or, is it true there's a lull before a storm?

The trigger is in her hand ... She uses it or not , depends on the silence within.

Erase

Can memories be erased?
No, not unless you are a vegetable...
But still in that state...
Your mind may be working...
You might be reliving the past ...
The good memories...
The bad ones ...
The not so good ones ...
And the not so bad ones ...
But, none the less reminding...
Episodes of your life's drama.

One can or can not let it rule their present...
Let the memories make you or break you...
If someone wants, one can move on ...
Or just for convenience act...
Act as though they have moved on ...
Enjoy the goodies of current days ...
And then,
At their convenience, blame memories ...
Memories for holding back.

Sad truth of human beings ...
Only humans can manipulate their own minds...
And minds of others...
To suit their convenience.

There is no eraser ...
You can't erase memories...
But, yes you can use them to manipulate...
To get your brownie points ...
At the expense of others happiness ...
At the expense of others always...
It takes a very clever mind to do that ...
Someone who knows how to use people for their convenience...
And then how to leave them high and dry.

Sad, there is no erase button in some peoples memory...
And there is a big delete in others.
#GoFigure

Saturday, July 14, 2018

The last glimpse...

Heart wrenching it was ...
To break away from what gave you hope to live ...
The last glimpse ...
Of a man who loved you so true ...
To swallow the tears within...
And walk away from love ...
It takes a big heart to.let go ...
Let go, she did ...
Kamakazi the only way out. #GoFigure

She waited...

She waited with bated breath...
She waited for him ...
To call out to her ...
And ask her to turn back ...
He didn't.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Love reunited...

All seems bright and sunny...
When all that troubled you is washed away...
A dark, gloomy rain washed day...
Seems beautiful...
Just because...
They reunite ...
Their love for each other...
Conquering over the trivial matter ...
That pulled them apart ...
Their hearts and minds as one ...
They hold hands and jump in a puddle together...
Hot chocolate and Cappuccino savoured...
Over differences being resolved...
Love conquests over the shadows...
Love reunited again...
A smile spreads across her lips ...
She writes positive with a glint in her eye ...
Touchwood!

Walking in the rain...

What a blessing the rains are ...
When the mind is at unrest...
When there are tears streaming down...
The rain cometh pouring down...
Washing away the salt...
None can see the saline trail...
All they see is a woman...
Walking in the rain.

Vacant eyes...

Hidden behind the smile...
Are vacant eyes ...
Searching for the lost one ...
Hidden behind the chirpy persona...
Is a tragic torn heart...
Looking for the lost one...
Vacant, puffy eyes...
Tears all dried up...
Wondering where she went wrong...
Seeking answers to innumerable questions...
Lost and wandering...
She steps into a vortex...
That sucks the Life out of her...
She's lost too ...
Perhaps never to surface again.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Beating The Stress...

Her way of beating stress is ...
Cook, clean and bake a cake ...
So she ends up making baked potatoes and chicken breasts...
With an added dash of ...
A singularly sinful chocolate cake ...
The kids know ...
They eat quietly...
Ever watchful eyes...
Following her every move...
For her actions speak louder...
Of a mind at unrest...
A heart broken...
Shattered to pieces ...
She laughs with gay abandon...
The kids know ...
She is hiding her pain behind smiles...
Her aches camouflaged behind a tough exterior...
She gets down to the basics ..
Cooking and cleaning...
As though absolving her woes ...
In lather and butter...
Peeling potatoes...
Chopping onions ...
Blaming the shallots for the tears in her eyes...
Hell yeah!
She hides behind the utensils...
The pots and pans become her world...
She drowns her sorrow in the muffins...
Muffling her sighs...
She braises the lamb...
Basting it in barbecue sauce...
The kick of the spices ...
Lifting her spirits..m
She forgives the perpetrator...
She moves into her own World...
Of pots and pans...
She hides behind a veil of smoke ...
Smoke bellowing from her oven...
Damn!
Her roast got burnt ...
She scrapes out the dark gooey matter...
To start another roast ...
She keeps herself busy...
Her mind wanders about...
Beating the stress out.

Love makes you ...

Love...
Ah!
Love makes a fool out of you...
Love makes you act stupid...
Love makes you freak out...
Love makes you sober...
Love makes you change ...
Love makes you YOU.
Love makes you eat a humble pie...
Love mellows you down...
Love makes you turn inward...
Love makes you lonely...
Love makes you revolt...
Love makes you mad...
Love is everything ...
That can make your World go...
Topsy turvy.
Love makes you...
Love breaks you.

Missing Us ...

Missing Us ...
Is all her thoughts about...

When days passed by ...
Time flew by...
Nothing mattered...

His absence created a void ...
An abyss ...
A dark hole that consumed her ..

She's lost without him...
He had become a part of her ...
Apart from him ...
She's shattered to bits ...
In her gloomy existence...
She gropes in darkness...
Searching for him...
Searching for them...
Her Us...

It's dark and dingy in this place...
She misses his warm sunny smile ...
The damp quarters of her World...
Engulf her ...
Consuming her energy...
Her vivacious self burnt...
She's but a shadow of her yesterday.

She misses Us ... Him and Her.

Over and done with Drama...

A player...
A performer...
He played his part well...
Till he could play no more...
Over and done with his drama...
She is ...
She is a blank page...
A clean slate to write upon...
But does she really want to be written on?
No...
The colour from her face vanished ...
A dull look to present...
Does she really want written over again ?
No...
She is hurting...
Words of pain ...
Ache...
Pouring out ...
No...
No one to blame ...
But herself...
For yet believing in another ...
Another charlatan...
Another actor ...
Another player of hearts.
Over and done ...
Drained of emotions...
She wipes the stream of tears...
As though a dam has broken...
The tears keep rolling down her shallow cheeks...
She is over and done with all his drama ...
The stories he cooks ...
Well, the master chef is on his own now ...
For she seeks to forsake his company...
No more is she going to relent ...
All his fake emotions ...
Coming to the fore ...
She is ...
Over and done with the drama.

No woman, no cry ...

Bob Marley righly penned...
No woman, no cry ...
No one , none is worth the tears ...
They have fun with you...
Woman, at your expense ...
They have fun ...
Why shed tears ...
For spineless fools ...
They don't deserve you...
You remain strong...
You have everything...
They have nothing...
But their emptiness to return to...
The circle of life is such ...
We beget what we sow...
They shall realize...
But, you would have moved on ...
Climb mountains...
Explore new frontiers...
This ain't the end ...
This is the beginning...
Agreed, precious time was invested...
So were feelings...
But, what the heck ...
Woman , no cry ...
Move on ...
Cherish the memories...
Move on ...
You have gained from your mistake...
Just another mistake...
No woman, no cry...

A Sanitary Pad Wonders...

Used and thrown ...
A sanitary pad wonders ...
Why is it that when they need me...
In their hour of need ...
They use me ...
They wear me for a couple of hours...
And then ...
And then they discard me ?
Why do they do that?
One time use?
No more of use to them anymore...
A Sanitary Pad wonders...

No excuse needed...

No explanation...
No excuses needed...
For a spineless decision...
The deed is done...
No respect left ...
Just remorse...
Move on ...
Let her be...
She's  better off without him...
Life comes one full circle...
Hope you don't get entangled in the mesh.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Gut instinct...

Her apprehensions...
Her doubts...
All put to rest...
Her gut instinct came true...
All doubts, apprehensions and fear ...
Turned out positive...
How could she allow him...
To walk all over her again and again?
She's been a fool...
Thinking it's love ...
It's not love if they keep you as an option...
It's never love ...
It's just ...
Never love...
Walk away she must...
From the negativity...
Walk away she must for her sanity...
Walk away she must for her vanity...
Walk away she must for her dignity...
Her gut instinct says so ...
Should she pay heed ...
Or remain the same abominable fool?

What a fool!

What a fool she's been...
Oh Damn!
It was written large in his actions...
His nonchalance attitude...
Bespoke it ...
Damn it girl!!!
You did get the hint ?
Oh ! What a fool has she been...
To have believed his lies...
Getting carried away in emotions...
The emotional fool...
Once again...
Has been played around with...
Damn it!!
Why does she fall for these ploys?
Oblivious to the truth...
Time and again...
He goes back on his words ...
Time and again he retracts his vows.
The hopeless romantic...
She's but a fool...
To have believed EVERY word of his ...
All that he wanted was ...
He got ...
Now he doesn't need her.
Once again, he's fooled her ...
Once again she dives deep in depression...
Once again...
Once again.