Friday, October 31, 2014

Of errors in judgement ...

A decade later, she turns the pages of her history book and she sees is errors in judgements.

His error was also one such sin, she could have over looked it but for her vice , her anger that took over and reigned supreme. All judgment blurred , she walked away ... shunning her World , relegating all happiness in the back burner , she burnt her house down.

An error ... she sees them all committing the same sin and only regret having taken a stance to make a point in a society that doesn't care.

She lost all, for nothing. Her flock lost it  all for no fault of theirs.

So each morning she promises herself , not to let another family die . No other flock of sheep loses their shepherd.

She works at bringing the flock home so there is a warm hearth waiting for the goatherd to come to in cold wintery evenings. There is cheese for all and bread is warm and fresh from the oven baked with love.

She sighs and turns away , wiping the tear at the end of her eye ... walking into the sunset , with a  crooked stick ... her trademark stamp.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Lost connection...

Just a few word of reality ....
And all he does is ...
Shouts at her ...
Blames her ...
She hears him out ...
Shuts him out ...
All that noise ...
Allthat hulla bulloo ...
She loses herself ...
Once again ...
A real heartbreak ...
A break in trust...
No faith left in his senseless rantings ...
She severes all ties ...
All ties with everone...
She kills herself ...
Ruins what her self once was ....
Cuts her wrist...
And watches the blood drip down ...
Forming a pool ...
Clotting into dark matter ...
Dying , her only thoughts are of him ...
And his treachery.
Lost forever ...
Another life ...
A life vrowing within her ...
Throttled for ever.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Death becomes her ...

She is lost forever...
To all an sudry ...
But to herself.

Time for her  cut all the ties...
This world isn't for het...
Going away is the best alternative...
So she leaves forevet ...
None she owes a penny ...
None she owes herself ....
Time to destroy herself ...
Time to go away.

Death becomes her ...
She embraces  death ...
As her own...
Just hers for keeps.

He , who had no remorse in his voice ...
He who shunned her ...
Hr who hurt her ...
Let him  live in peace ...
For she loved hi then ...
And in his love she dies ...
His love her death wish.

Gone for ever ...
She will never be a happy soul ...
A lost soul ...
She braves the final battle ...
All alone ....
A life ruined forever ...
She lits her funrral pyre ...
In his memory ...
The one she loved always ...
Her final goodbye ...
And he still hurt her .

She will always lover Donal Duck ....
She hates herself for her sorry state ...
She abhors hef actions ...
How coukd she become gullible ...
And fall for a man who never loved her.

Her faults ...
Repercussions unknown ...
End of life best ....
To save his face ...
And her grace.

Death becomes her ...
She is lost , forever.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Shortlived joy ...

In all her happiness she wrote ...
Of her joy ...
Of his undying love ...
Little realising that...
Happiness forgot the way to her home ...
Long ago.

Her joy turned to grief ...
She was bereft of feelings once again...
Slowly she turned away ...
And walked into the oblivion ...
Her permanent abode.

Darkness enveloping her shaggy frame ...
Shoulders low ...
A humped heap of flesh and blood ...
Devoid of feelings ....
A blank look in her eyes...
Staring at her toes ...
Walking slowly with her head down ...
A sad melancholy look in her eyes ...
She continued her lonely journey again.

Bite into a bit more of affection ...

All along she thought, he was lost forever in her tempestuous outburst. But, lo behold when all else was down and out, a glimmer of hope shimmered in the horizon and there he was with open arms waiting for her towards the sunsetty horizon. She ran straight into his warm waiting arms , snug and secure in the knowledge , he would always be there.

Her live , her Emperor , her life ... her Knight in shining armour ... her love.

Her happiness knew no bounds . In her moment of glee and joy she floated in a dream world of happiness. Her  love established to its former glory , her faith restored in fate and destiny.

In his strong arms , she found her world of hope and bliss... a happiness unaccountable.  His sweets, his love ... she glowed.

Thanking the lord for all his small mercies , thanking the Goddess that blessed him, she prays for his well being and happiness , sne prays for togetherness unlimited.

Her Knight , her Badshah ... she can't keep her eyes off him. The most handsome hunk , by his side she knows she looks best.
Bite into the best of bites , a news of her happiness , she knows she needs to cherish these moments. The bubbling happiness, biting into the bits and snippets of joy.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Festivities ... not meant for her ...

For her ...
Only solitude ...
Her reclusive getaway ...
Her world of gadgets ...
Her world of geeks ...
No emotions to be shed ...
Just a blank screen ...
An expression , she chose.

For her ...
No festivities ...
She absolved herself of all...
All that meant relations ...
Alone in her melancholy moments...
She observes them all.

A sarcastic laugh ...
At human vanities ...
And vain efforts at happiness...
All will be lost one day...
They would all sit in the same dias ...
As her ...
And watch festivities pass by.

Her nest, a cold place to be ...
No warmth there ...
A cold stare from her ...
Is all one gets.

In her aloneness she has companionship...
Her world her solace ...
Where none can hurt her ...
None can touch her.

Festivities , not her forte'...
She wat hes others with a smug smile ...
Knowing well ...
All that is a farce.

Monday, October 20, 2014

In her thoughts

Alone in her thoughts...
She cries silently ...
Weeps a river ...
Paces back and forth ...
Lulls herself to sleep...
But, sleep ...
It doesn't come ...
It teases her ...
Worrisome in her state ...
All she does is ...
Take to alternatives....
Drugging her senses ...
She wails and wallows in self pity ...
Dizzy with kaleidoscopic images ...
She imagines him with her ...
She weeps silently ...
He watches her ...
Not a word uttered ...
Those silent brooding eyes ...
Just watch her ...
And he vanishes ....
She takes more to calm her nerves ...
She seeks him ...
In those colourful flamboyant dreams ...
An addiction ...
That is killing her slowly.

Day and night ...
Toxic substance in her veins ...
She does her chores for the world to see...
But within ...
She plays hide and seek with her feelings.

A hue of colours ...
Washing over her senses ...
She goes into another realm ....
Where nothing hurts ...
She is happy ...
She sobs her tormented thoughts away.
Shame, that a life is wasted ...
In the trauma of a lost love.

Alone in her thoughts ...
She builds a world of happiness ...
Him , her, their little ones ...
Alas! Just an overactive imagination ...
Of a woman lost in the world of psychedelic drugs.

Damn these feelings ...

You are dead for me henceforth ... she wrote...
She avoided him ...
She went into her shell...
To no avail ...
He lives ...
In her thoughts , he lives ...
He lives within her ...
She can't shake him off ...
A leech ...
The feelings for him just don't vanish ...
They remain ...
Tormenting her day in and day out ...
She dies every moment ...
Regretting having hurt his feelings ...
Having written those words ...
She prays for his success...
She prays for his long life ...
She wishes death upon herself.
Love doesn't die ever...
Once you love someone ...
You can never hate them ...
You can never wish them bad...
You might shout and scream at them ...
But deep within...
You never stop loving them ...
Not when you have cherished ...
And nurtured that love for three decades.
She sits in her sombre state ...
Aloneness her companion ...
And ponders ,
How it would have been different ...
Had destiny not separated them...
She spins dreams ...
She lives in a world of fantasy ...
Where they are together ...
Happy and merry ...
Content in each others company.
Damn those feelings !
Damn the mushy mushy feelings!
Damn being human.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Motherhood

The most beautiful feeling ever ... being born again ...
Born with the little one emerging  from within you ...
Motherhood , the most beautiful feeling ever.

Watching your little ones grow up ...
In front of your eyes ...
Bouncing with boundless energy...
Happy being with you ...
Happy with everything they have ...
Content under your umbrella of love...
Motherhood has no explanation ...
It just thrives in the veins of women.

Each time a woman gives birth to a baby ...
Each time a mother is born ...
Each time a new life is born ...
Each time life salutes a woman...
So, why stifle what is growing within you ...
One born of  love ...
No, motherhood is what she  chooses...
Come what may.

This would be her gift to mankind ...
One born out of wedlock ...
One born of love ...
Intense passionate pure love ...
A selfless sacrifice to be made....
Walking away wasn't easy ...
Nor will life be henceforth ...
For lonely and alone she treads ...
Upon a difficult path ahead.

Being born again is what she seeks ...
Motherhood once again beckons her.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Before the wall caves in ...

A stoic stance taken ...
She braces for the final showdown...
Before the wall caves in ...
She takes  deep breath ...
And dives in ...
Into the depths of her inner self ...
Into the realms of her being ...
Introspecting ...
Brooding ...
She weighs the pros and cons ...
To face or not ...
The final face off...
To rip the mask of the face ...
The face of the conman.

In the wake of the aftermath...
Of her destruction...
She suppresses the anger within ...
A stream of volleys of words ...
All set to be unleashed. ..
Before her patience  caves in ...
She battles the inner demons ...
To expose or not ...
The cunning fox that roams free.

In her aloneness she seeks solace...
Her words her companions...
She walks further...
Finding bliss in her passion...
His blood her favourites ...
She misses him no more...
Until the wall caves in ...
She mafches on ...
The rickety bridge of life...
Creaking below Her feet...
She explores a new World.

Monday, October 13, 2014

The landing of the Stork

A flight due to a landing in Summer...
The Stork readies itself for the final flight.

Grasped in its beak ...
A knotty bundle of delight...
The culmination of unabandoned love...
The Stork preens its feathers...
For the final flight.

The damsel...
Glowing with health...
Gaining in weight ...
The seed within nurtured with love...
She musters courage ...
To face the harsh World...
The Stork smiles ...
A sign ...
For the damsel ...
To ready herself for its arrival.

The feelings of impending motherhood ...
A mixed bag of affairs...
The mother to be smiles shyly...
Looking at the growing bump...
The belly distending ...
A warm feeling taking over ...
The Stork readies for its final flight.

Motherhood. ..
Long forgotten ...
Being revisited ...
The damsel is no more distressed...
She smiles at ghe thought of baby smells...
She feels warmth ...
When imagining her baby...
She is happy ...
Glowing with the growinb seed within.

The Stork waits for the signal...
All set to deliver ...
The product of uninhibited gay love ...
That surpasses all surprises ...
Motherhood revisited again.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

I want to ...

I have a dream ...
A bucket list of things to do, places to  visit...
Yes, Paris ... France first in the list , with you ... hand in hand ... walking the lanes and bylanes ... watching the moon over the Eiffel tower...

 The green lawns of Lyon ... all the way to the Alps ...  the  country famed for its Chocolates ... the canals , Belgium , a dream come true .. Bruges to visit , to strengthen our vows. 

A dream , wishes to fulfill... dreams to live.


Sipping coffee your favourite and the bubbly Champagne , mine ... by the road side cafes ... whispering sweet nothings by the Sienne, ... yes , lovely walks along the Sienne ... a dream come true it will be.,

When , how , where ... is it possible... only time can tell ... waiting for the signs ... the telltale signs of unbridled love ... making love under the  clouds on moonlit nights ... howling joyous cries ...
That's love ... the essence wafting in my consciousness.



Thursday, October 9, 2014

Buoyed by hope ...

Hoping against hope ...
Bobbing to surface again ...
The whirlpool of life ...
Dragging her within...
She is buoyed by hope ...
To live again ....
The lifeline severed ...
She still searches ...
Sometimes frantically....
For that flicker of light ...
That flame from the Lighthouse...
In a  stormy sea....
She tries to find her hope..
Buoyed by hope ...
Bouncing back to life ...
Little hands tugging at her dress....
She wants to try again.

Grief becomes her ...

Sadness engulfs her ...
She the aggrieved ...
Tearless stare ...
Into the oblivion ...
A horizon none can fathom... Grief becomes her ...
An intolerable part of her pain ...
The memories come flooding back.

Eyes red ... hurting and sore ...
Swollen and puffed ...
Sleepless nights become her....
Grief becomes her...
She retreats into her shell.

All she wants is to vanish ...
Not fade away ...
Just go far away ...
Far far away forever....
Loneliness becomes her ...
Grief becomes her.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

A piece of him ...

Bits and pieces ...
Life comes in all sizes ...
A bit of him in her ...
She lives ...
Each day a trauma ...
Each dzy the bump growing ...
She live sto dread another day.

A piece of him ...
Left within her ...
She leads a terrible life.

She wNted to let him know...
The last time they met ...
But his arrogance ...
His attitude ..
Put heroff...
She decided to tread the road alone ...
With a bit of him within her...
Growing each day.

She finds solace ...
In his little ones ...knowing well
Carrying another soul within her ....
His piece ...
For her to remember ....
Never to forget him ever.

See the glow on her face...
Imminent motherhood in sight ...
She basks in the glory ...
Of yet another birth soon.
A pice of him within her ...
She remembers moments spent in his arms ...
Strong arms ...
Strong love ...
The result ...
A bit of him within her...
Forever for her to cherish...
To call her own.

The forgotten memories ...

They all come aflooding ...
Making melancholy ...
The heart that weeps ..
In silence it is trapped ...
Memories unfazed by pain ...
A blunt truth ...
A core reality ...
Long forgotten memories ...
Rushing in ....
A drop of tear ...
Wells up in the corner of the eye ...
Reminding her ...
She is but Human ...
And has feelings still.

Those brooding eyes ...
A depth unfathomed ...
She dives back into them ...
Forgetting herself ...
Forgetting who She is.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Fictitious lies ...

No, I have no relations with Ms Tandon...
Vidya keeps calling me...
But, I never meet her...
I have chances to be with many Women ...
Am a dude ..
So handsome...
A proud peacock ...
But, I don't pop my cock out...
I am loyal to you ...
Believe my fucking lies honey...
I am a humble man ...
I only cheat on my wife ...
You are my World ...
I searched you ...
High and low...
All these years...
My antennas were up...
I bribed your brother ...
With talks of Monica Saini ...
Yeah ...
Be there for me always...
I need you ...
Am a broken man ....
I need your shoulders to cry on ...
Your pussy to expend my libido in.

Nonsense!
Utter nonsense...
Fictitious lies...
A liar all the way.

The whore by his side...

She knows the story well...
She turns a blind eye to all...
For why should she...
Jeopardise her paradise...
For a rented life ...
When she is living rent free with him...
The whore beside him ...
Knows her yin from her yang.

She won't risk her luxuries...
Not barter her comfort...
For what is a jerk by him ...
Gonna make her lose...
Her enjoyment , a cushy life ...
Her pussy, a dry zone.
The whore beside him ...
Knows it all...
For she has the winning cards...
The issues he thinks are his...
Are they really his?
Doesn't seem so...
So different,  they look...
So unlike him...
He is just an unpaid servant...
Taking care of her sins.
The whore beside him ...
Smiles with her crooked teeth showing...
The glint in her eyes...
Say it all.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

A slice of life...

Boredom, compels me to pen down my thoughts...
Anything and everything ...
Just anything ...
Out of the blue ...
Random thoughts ...
Moments from memories ...
Haunting insecurities ...
Just about anything ...
And, everything.
Not a word or feeling missed...
Right from the bottom of my heart....
A slice of life ...
Each time...
My life ...
Moments of my abominable life...
A life well lived ...
Not a relationship regretted...
Each a pearl of experience ...
Precious and beautiful.

A slice of life ...
My life.

Cry me a River ...

Without any remorse ...
He said...
Cry me a river ...
Is it so simple?
To just enter someone's life ...
And then ,
Just walk away...
Grinning...
Ear to ear ...
Another vanquished soul...
Another one destroyed.

So easy to cry a river ...
And walk away.
So easy to trap someone...
Use them...
And walk away.

Why walk in on someone's happiness...
Being aware of your status...
Why ruin a smile...
And , just walk away?

You are the accursed soul...
May there be no happiness in your life...
May you lose it all...
All that you love ...
May you lose it all.
Then,
Cry me a river dude.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: The Abominable Salesman .... The Infidel Bastard ....

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: The Abominable Salesman .... The Infidel Bastard ....: Gosh! Festival time and he grins .. Poses like a hero ... Little does she know ... His truth ... The con man ... The one who gets awa...

The Abominable Salesman .... The Infidel Bastard ...

Gosh!
Festival time and he grins ..
Poses like a hero ...
Little does she know ...
His truth ...
The con man ...
The one who gets away by lying.

Holding his little ones ...
A grim expression  on his face ...
But, with the fat one ...
A loving smile ...
Hiding his wicked acts ....
How far fetched  is that smile ...
Only She knows.

The one who preens in front of the life size mirror ...
The one who watches her slyly...
Yeah ! The Salesman ...
He and his ways ...
Of conning them all.

Hah... The grinning smile ...
So like him ...
The eyes they tell all ...
Of his wayward ways...
The Bong ...
The infidel Bastard of them all.

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Like the fine French Wine ...

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Like the fine French Wine ...: She flows through her life ... Each day maturing a bit ... Just like ... The fine French Wine. He watches her... Remaining in the sha...

Like the fine French Wine ...

She flows through her life ...
Each day maturing a bit ...
Just like ...
The fine French Wine.

He watches her...
Remaining in the shadows ...
Every move of hers noted ...
She knows ...
She smiles and ...
Moves on .

He had made promises ...
Of Fine Wine  and Chocolates ...
She awaits  ..
The fulfillment...
Of those subtle desires.

The fine Gentle man ...
The World sees ...
The finer man ...
She has seen ...
From close up front ...
Her bucket list ...
A visit to his abode.

An intelligent impostor ..
what makes him tick?
She wonders ...
She ponders ...
What his life would be like ...
Living in fear of exposure ...
Yet committing crimes.

Like the French wine her love grows ...
For she likes the excitement ...
Of a good chase ...
The one she gives him ...
For all he is worth.

No reason...

There was no reason to move on...
Yet Move on , she did...
For his commitments were dear to her ...
She didn't want him to falter in them...
There was no reason at all ...
Yet she moved on.

In order to stay away...
She had to break his heart...
She declared him dead for her...
So he would be hurt...
She hurts for having said so...
But there was no other option ...
He had to hate her enough ...
To let go...
There really was no reason to move on...
But move on she did.

She couldn't bear to see him torn ...
A tormented soul ...
She prays for his heart to heal...
For somewhere there was ...
Once her nest.

She loves him through his little ones ...
There laughter gives her reason to smile...
The pain an ache always to be there ...
Yet she smiles in her stride.

She dreams of being with him in the willows someday...
Walking the untread paths...
The hills beyond beckoning ...
Maybe a silver sunset someday.

There was a reason she moved away ...
For in her aloneness she found peace...
A loner all her life...
She loves her reclusiveness.