Scrub hard, yet the surname remains...

Pumice stone, acid, what not...

She used all the available resources...
Resources to remove his existence...
His name from her name...
It remains...
It remains to torment her...
Every living moment, a death knell...
Every moment so painful...
The memories linger...
F
Tears welling up her eyes...
Eyes each morning a sight...
Reminding her of a sleepless night...
When...
When will she be rid of it...
The pain of...
The pain of living...
A life so lifeless...
The solitude her own...
None to share with...
His children, a constant reminder of him...
This Pai, insurmountable...
A heavy load on her frail self...

How many pills to take...
To numb herself?

She scrubs her self...
Trying to rid herself of days gone past...
The memories return...
Each day a new pain...
Same pain, renewed each dawn and dusk...
She moves... Thinking...
She has moved on...
And the inevitable happens...
And the cycle begins.

The pain behind the mask none can see...

Who knows what is hidden behind the mask of smiles...
A silent agony...
Pain beyond words...
An ache ...
The eyes tell it all...
Yet, none can read it...
A wound pussing...
The heart ready to die.

Maybe it is time to redeem...
To go beyond the mortal self...
The need for one over...
What's the use of living?

Its time to bid adieu...
But to say goodbye to whom?
There is none to bid adieu...
It's time to go away...
Silently...
Let death creep in...
And take her away...
Far far away from...
The agonizing World of relations...
The falsehood of mankind...
The selfish kin...
The scheming minds...
The molted thoughts.

What does the mask hide, you ask...
It hides the pain of a mother...
It hides the tears of a daughter...
It hides the scars of the scorned wife...
It hides a lot...
It hides unfathomable depths of heartaches...
One, no man can imagine.

What does the mask hide? Ask again and again to no answer coming forth...
For the wronged shall die...
Leaving behind unanswered queries.

The Dolt

He couldn't have used a better term...
To describe himself...
The Dolt.

The sweet endearing Dolt of a man...
The one with prowess over language one too many...
The one constantly reading between the lines...
The one actually assuming what is not said...
The one figuring out the unspelt...
The one reaching a conclusion for you...
Because he is the Dolt that wants to be...
One up on the others.

Regards he overconfident Mr Know IT all...
The Dolt who cares to hoots what anybody thinks...
My reflection...
The Dolt of course,
The one I love.

The one I love picking arguments with...
The one that gives the saintly advice...
The one I really listen to...
The one who never mince his words...
The one I obviously love...
The one whose lectures on dos and don'ts...
I look forward to...
Ahh! The uncrowned King of words...
The Dolt that I love.

Once was enough ... #GoFigure

Sitting at her desk...
Soaking in the music of 'The Second Waltz' ...
She reminisces the past ...
All fear and apprehensions at hold ...
The frolicking of young adulthood ...
Images flashing past her open eyes ...
She is enveloped in a happiness unknown ...
The time stands still ...
The music finds her waltzing through the lanes of a past forgotten ...
Traipsing along the gullies of memories ...
She is taken to a World beyond ...
Letting go of inhibitions ...
She shamelessly admits ...
ONCE WAS ENOUGH ...
None needed anymore to fill the void ...
The gap, music has flown into ...
A euphoria moment ...
Which shall remain ...
As though , drugged to the point of no return ...
The present doesn't matter...
The future, not a thought given ...
Music and a beautiful past is all she remembers.

Once was enough...
It give her a  lifetime of memories to cherish ...
Moments that were forgotten...
Brought back to life by music ...
The  Second Waltz ...
The Second Innings at loving the same; Once again #GoFigure

It's been a while ...

Long time since she wrote something ....
Long time since she felt the need to ...
Today, she sits at her desk , contemplating ...
To write or not to write ...
Some feelings ... to share or not to share.

She has reached a point in life....
Where nothing matters anymore...
Feelings though very much there ...
Yet, not to be shared ...
But, on second thoughts ...
Why not?
This is her haven where she pours her heart out ...
A place where she lightens the burden of her pain ....
Her triumphs , her travails ...
All chronicled here ...
For one day, she would disappear ...
Her mortal being withering away ...
That is when her little ones ...
Her flesh and blood would get a glimpse of her life here.

It's been a while ...
A long while ...
Aah!! One particular pain remains.
A pain she needs to endure in silence ...
A pain of the one lost too soon.

A very strange meeting of souls...
A meeting that never culminated ...
Yet, the departed one remains closest to her heart...
Those moments of talks  frozen in time ...
Thoughts enmeshed in his memories.

It's really been a while ...
Since she saw fresh flower photographs each morning ...
Since someone shared their feelings ...
The innermost desires ...
Of want and togetherness...
It has been a while ...
A long long while.

The void, the abyss within...

There in her heart lies a great abyss...
Beyond the crevice over the precipice...
Her heart lies vacant...
Spent and broken....
The void within...
Abysmal in its own existence...
The void, the abyss within.

She cries alone and in vain...
For every love lost along the way...
The forest within shedding their leaves...
Dark and gnawed silhouettes...
The dark abyss within, the void unfilled.

The Copassengers ... #GoFigure

Just like the journey we undertake daily from home to work place, in a share cab... Life is a journey too.

Just like we get some good copassengers and some not so good copassengers, in a share cab ; in the journey of life we get to meet some good people and some not so good people.... Some we want to forget and some we remember for life.

Some we bump into every now and then and some we meet once to never meet again. Some we wish to meet again yet we can never meet again and some leave an indelible mark on our soul, never to be forgotten.

This share ride of life brings us momentous joys and bitter memories too.

She met some good copassengers and some not so good copassengers.

Some left their mark on her soul and some left her scarred for life.

The copassenger for the Neverending Journey... That's a dream that perhaps would never materialize. #GoFigure

When you wonder...

How could things be the same again?
She wonders...
Suddenly nostalgic...
She walks the bylanes of her memory...
The aroma of cuisine cooked by her...
The gay abandon laughter of her kids...
The swim in the pool...
The walk by the sea...
The lounging in the bar...
Dipping the feet in the Arabian Sea...
Watching the sun set...
The days of yore...
When all was hunky dory...
There's was bliss...
There was sound sleep...
Then where did it go wrong?

Today, there is success...
There is fame...
Yet there is no life.