Heard his voice yesterday...
His voice...
Makes me go weak in the knees..
I lose myself ...
The echo ringing in my head.
It took a while to stabilize...
Gosh !
The man knows his cards well ...
And, plays them well.
His eyes quite clear and sharp ...
In my memory now...
I wait to catch a glimpse of him...
Just so I can feel nice.
Having loved him ...
I find none so worthy....
None can repkace him...
My soul , am his shadow.
Yesterday ... just another day ...
I saw him ...
Walking the footpaths of our common alley...
With his little one throwing a tantrum in his arms....
I saw him with a frowning brow...
Sadness in his eyes ...
A ritual perhaps ...
Chores he does ...
I felt a pang of pity ...
Enveloping my emotional mind ...
My heart skipped a beat ...
I wanted to turn my eyes away ...
I couldn't ...
My heart went out to him....
My eyes wept for him.
I tossed and turned in my bed last night ...
Feeling sad for him ...
No, I can't let emotions take over me ...
I have let go ...
I can't turn around...
He has become a stranger to me ...
I can't ...
There is nothing to go back to...
He has his miseries to deal with ...
I can't help him in that...
He has to fight his demons on his own ....
I could have been his shadow ...
But, not anymore.
I saw him ...
She is done with his hostrionics ...
She is done with his drama ....
She doesn't need him ...
She has his essence within her ...
Enough for her to live ...
With his memories forever.
He won't be there ...
But his shadow will tag along ...
Just like she was his shadow ...
Only this time ...
She will have him forever ...
In what he gifted her that night.
She can feel him grow within her ...
Unconditional love sweeping her being ...
She is one with nature ...
Whispering sweet nothings to her unborn.
She won't ever miss him ...
She is thankful ...
He gave her a gift ...
A gift of life just hers.
A custom made gift ...
A tailor made bounty ...
A basket of happiness ...
A bounty of joy...
She waits for the Stork to visit ...
With her bundle of love.
She knows the journey will be lonesome...
But with her baby in her arms ...
She is ready to take on the World.
She doesn't miss him ...
She loves him more ...
For what he gave her ...
Was a second chance ...
To be a mother again.
A lot has been said and written about the love story of 28 years ago ... Not a word of what happened after 28 years ago...
The bestiality of an affair gone sour due to the selfish motives of a lover whose libido was just too high for him to control and then eventually how he conned the innocence of yesteryears for just his lust and lust alone hurting the one person who truly loved him in the process and making her a ghost of her gloripus past.
The He She Story ... catches the journey of those few days when innocence of pure love turned into lusty fiery passion unleashing the trapped libido of a selfish Salesman. Libido is the word He coined for his lust and selfish motives.
She loved him then, She loved him all through... She remembered him all these years and He asked her... How much do you love me? Why didn't you wait for me? Why didn't you seek me out? All She said was.... What was a 16 year old supposed to do if her family moves away from the place ? What can She do, if life churns a dufferent story for her each day? She waited but He never came looking for her ... She had to take a decision ... If He really love dher , He would have sought her out or waited for her. He went ahead and himself got married for the status of the family of the girl whose proposal came to him... He sticks on in a loveless marriage for his wife's family's status not for her ... and noe, for the children he has sired with her. How can He talk of love when all along He was the one who went after status and money for all the selfish reasons known to him.
He meets Her and speaks of his undying love for her. Six years they lived in the same neighbourhood hut never did he seek her out... and He talks of love. She knew who He was, She knew where He resided but She never crossed her line for She knew He was married. She believes in the sanctity of marriage and its vows.
He pursued her for his own vested interest ... used her to get favours of waiving off financial burden of education of his kids so that his pocket would remain warm... She did it for Him, for past relation and pure love. But, that didn't stop the beast in him and finally , He mauled Her ... He caught her in his snare and ravaged her for his libido and left her languishing after he had was satisfied ... saying my kid sleeps with me , I need to go home ... She was left bereft of her vanity and shame. SHE was shattered ... used and thrown ... Her self esteem an all time zero ... She laments each moment spent in that bestial encounter ... and He enjoys his King size bed with his status quo partner.
He enjoys his time now ... satisfied and searching for a new victim ... She lives with no feelings left and vacant and eyes devoid of tears now. The He She story gone awry because He is a beast on prowl and She a victim of the beast unleashed.
Each day she sees him...
Each day she meets him...
Each dawn sees her resolving ...
To forget him ...
Each dusk sees her pining for him.
She meets him ....
Not looking in the eye...
Lest he sees her love for him....
Lest he sees how much she needs him ...
Lest he sees her weakness ...
Lest he sees himself in her eyes.
She has given up on all...
Lost I his thoughts ...
She goes by the day ...
Mechanically fulfilling duties....
Asked of her by the World ...
Responsibilities taken care of ...
All mechanically ...
A robot like demeanour ...
Her stride so wooden ...
Hardly a smile these days ...
Going hollow with passing moments ...
Missing him ...
This time round , more so...
For she gave of her to him ...
Carrying his seed within ...
Not knowing how to break the news...
She passes each day ...
Dying from within.
She misses him ...
The unborn growing within ...
Contemplating on action ...
Or reaction ...
Wondering whether to tell him ...
Fearful of rejection...
She doesn't want to lose the life....
That is growing within.
Only death can do them apart...
Genuine love ...
Passion unfurled ...
The result in her womb.
She waits upon him ...
Each day ...
Yet not meeting his eye....
He is hers to love ...
His shadow in her.
