Hurting ...

Yes , she is hurting ,,,
Not because he used and left her ... But, she the good friend ...
Was the precursor of it all ...
And, stepped back rather ...
Than being there for her ...
A cowardly move ...
By a friend , she vouched for always.

The hurt made her hard ...
Bitter and foul mouth ...
Spewing venom at them all ...
The hurt swelling in size ...
Enveloping all in its wake ...
A Tsunami of sorts ...
That swept their World away.

Her hurt knows no bounds ...
She caged herself to get over the aches and pains...
A bleary World to be ensconced in ...
Doubting all approaches ...
Deleting relations ...
Shrinking in her cocoon ...
She watches silently ...
She hurts in silence.

A life once again trampled upon ..
A feeling distorted ...
Faith in friendship shaken ...
She hurts for the treachery left her shaken within.

Worlds Apart ... Ground Reality!

We were born Worlds apart ...
Different settings,
Different environment...
What brought us together?
what destiny had in mind?
Bringing together people poles apart ...
In stature...
In societal standing ...
Yet, bringing them together ...
To bring forth bad blood .......
Bad timing ...
Maybe the parcel landed...
In the wrong place.

An unnerving experience ...
To be stalked by a Psycho ...
Believing it was love ...
Finally discovering ...
It was just a mirage ...
And, one is better off without them ...
And their idiosyncrasies ...
And their bipolar disorder.

In the nick of time ...
The angel saved her ...
Else, she too would have been...
One of the victims...
A mental wreck ...
He wreaks havoc on others and their emotions....
No wonder ..
He has to drown in liquor each day ...
To kill his inner demons ...
A loveless childhood ...
Strife with trauma ...
A gift he gives now to his progeny.

Sad truth ...
But, fact remains ...
They were Worlds apart ...
It is best to forget that chapter ...
As a bad dream ...
Close the book on him ..
And, walk away ...
Than God for small mercies ...
Eyes opened at the right time ...
Not much damage done ....
But, pity the ones that keep...
Their eyes closed to reality ...
Ground Reality!

He reads her yet ...

He's gone .. long ago ...
Yet, he reads me ...
Reads me voraciously like ...
A bookworm inhabits the world of literature ...
Yet , he hides his face ...
For he knows...
He has erred and ...
There is no coming back ...
Into the folds of warmth and leisure ..
For, a cold winter has swept over....
What was once a Green paradise ...
A Shangrila destroyed ...
By his silliness....
A dream swept away by his mistakes.

He reads her, yet ....
There is a pause  in what he sees...
There is pain ...
Yet, he is helpless...
For she shall die but ...
Let him enter the bastions of her shielded Castle.

Behind those walls ...
Engulfing her persona ...
She feels safe ...
From the prying eyes of the predatory Wolves ...
She is in a World ...
Created by her fantasies ...
A beautiful World...
Untouched by another ...
A cocoon she has woven around her ...
She writes ...
For him ...
But, never waiting for his return.

He reads her ...
He writhes in pain ...
Turning in his grave ...
He screams her name out ...
She hears it ...
But, doesn't move an inch ..
She flicks her hair from her face ..
And, moves on ...
Penning her way into her fantasies.

उसकी कायनात की मिल्कियत ...

उसकी कायनात की मिल्कियत है वो ...
उसकी जिंदादिली की हरकत है वो...
है वो कोई और नहीं ...
उसके अन्दर की आवाज़ है वो...
अपने दिल के बादशाह की मिल्कियत है वो ...
किसी की कनीज़ नहीं ...
अपने आप में रज़िया है वो|

किसी की राह का पत्थर नहीं...
अपने में मस्त आदम है वो...
अपने बादशाह की रज़िया है वो....
किसी की मिल्कियत नहीं ...
अपने बुल्लेशाह की कायनात की ...
जीती जागती मिसाल है वो|

कोई रोक नहीं सकता ...
उसके अन्दर उठे उफान को...
सरफ एक बांध है ...
जो उस्की राह रोक सके ....
और कोई नहीं ....
अपने खुदा की खुदाई है वो...
अपने बादशाह की रिहाई है वो|

वो कहता है ...

वो कहता है कि ये खता उसने नहीं की ...
तो कोई तो बताये ये अता किसने की ?
किसने दो दिलों के बीच दूरियां पैदा की?
किसने ग़मों के बदल भिजवाए मेरे घर?
किसने तोड़ डाला दो फूलों को शाख से?
किसने अरमानों का खून किया?
कौन है वो शक्श ...
जिसे नहीं भाती खुशियाँ मेरी?
किसकी आँखों में खून सवार है?
कौन है वो दरिंदा...
जिसने परिंदों के पर काट दिए?
किसकी ये खता है ?
किसका ये जुर्म है?

वो कहता है की ये खता उसने नहीं की...
कितने खुश थे हम...
एक अलग ही दुनिया थी...
 न ग़म की घटा थी ...
न दर्द के सागर...
अब बस एक टीस सी उठती है दिल में....
काश की वो सामने आये...
और मेरी आखरी सांस जाये ...
कुछ बाकि नहीं बचा जीने के लिए...
सिवाए एक अनजाने दर्द के ...
कोई नहीं ...
कुछ भी नहीं ...
बस एक अंधी सुनसान गली है ...
जिसके उस ओर रौशनी दिखती है ...
जाना है उस ओर...
लौट के वापस न आने को...
और ...
वो कहता है ये खता भी उसने नहीं की है|

इस बार जो गयी...
तो कभी वापस आना न होगा...
फिर मुड के न देखेंगे....
बस ...
चले जाना है...
दूर कहीं, बहुत दूर...
वापस नहीं आना है|

The Moment is gone ...

Yes, The moment is gone ...
So have the feelings ...
They left the moment ...
You exhibited your insanity.

There is no looking back ...
This is an ode to what was once...
Now, no more ...
Elvis has left the Building.

There might be many more ..
Some better and some worse ...
But those moments ...
Won't see you in her company ...
Her arms not for you to ...
Lay your head upon ...
She left too ...
In search of her Oblivion.

A dark place .....
Where she broods ...
Watching fruits of passion ...
Dispassionately ..
For they are just a vice ...
To entice a weak mind ...
She ain't weak..
She is stronger than you think ...
She watches ...
She contemplates ...
But, for you ....
The moment is gone.

Chapters Closed ...

It has been a long time since I last penned my thoughts and feelings.

Today, just on a lark I decided to check on my blog posts. Whew! What a journey it has been!

Swinging like Tarzan from Happiness to sad posts ; I have been through them all.

My life right before me , I know I have grown , journeyed through thick and thin yet sustained the pain and joy through it all.

People joined midway, lost along the way; some kept pace , some just got tired and lagged behind finally disappearing into the misty fog of yesteryear's memories. Chapters Closed.

A big thick rustic book of memories, my life a roller coaster ride. Fidelity, the only factor to seek , never found. So each chapter closed to let the pain ebb away for my life is just one, no more suffering for another's shortcomings.

A long winding journey which saw mirth, laughter, pain and joy ; most remembered the moments of comedy; time gone by ... how it flies!

Closing the Chapter to the past ... penning new thoughts .. On my own ... I create a new History ... a new road to Salvation ... My own to follow .. for in my melancholy solitude I have found my calling... My life on my own terms I live.

Opening a  fresh new Chapter in the book of my life ... Just one Shadow on the page ... MINE .

That moment ...

Exactly  that particular moment ...
That !
When one is deeply engrossed in work ...
And, suddenly a name from the past pops up ...
That moment of pin drop silence ...
Everyone fully aware of how it affects you ...
Tension in the air ...
Regret writ large on the face ...
Of the one who uttered it ...
Ah1 How I love such tension filled moments ...
And, you break the stony silence ...
With a loud false laughter ...
howling with laughter ...
Tears stinging at the corner of your eyes ...
That moment ... pure bliss ...
All let loose to loosen the tense muscles...
On faces around you.

Memorable moments ...
Come rushing through your thoughts ...
A take over from the blast from your past.
Moments fleeting by ...
Everything so crystal clear ...
All you see as a movie ...
That you experienced solely ...
You just shrug your shoulder ...
And. smile ...
Getting on with the task in hand.
That moment passes you by ...
You move on to the next moment.