Don't Read Me ...

Why do you read me?
You have moved on ...
Go on your way ...
Am doing just fine ...
Living life on my terms ...
You go ahead and live your life...
My life ain't on rent ...
Not for you to come and go ...
Either stay or ...
Just go away.

Don't try to fathom my state ...
Don't read me ...
I have survived worst ...
What do you care ....
Had you cared ...
I wouldn't be writing it all here.

Time has moved on ...
Just like that ..
You have moved on too ...
Don't look back ...
I am lost ...
Lost in the meandering meadows of my World...
Lost to you forever.

Don't read me ...
I am lost to you ...
I am not going to accept you back ...
All is lost.

Flaming moments ...

The moment of Truth ...
Your words ..
My words ...
My verses claiming us ...
The flames of desire consuming us ...
Yet intact in our own private hell.

Long nights, long conversations...
Sweet nothings ...
Bitter truth ....
You there ...
Me in my World ...
Both living ... yet dead ...
Oblivious Zombies of distance apart.


Each night like an Owl ...
Sitting on my Barn Grass I wait ..
For you to whisper ...
Of life together ....
Yet so distant ...
The Thoughts ...
That keep us together ...
So near the feelings of warmth.

In your eyes I would like to enter ...
Melt within ...
The arms outstretched ...
The wicked naughty smile ...
Beckoning the damsel forth.
Flaming moments ...
Melting desires ...
That is what this heartbreak ...
And, the aftermath is all about.

Flaming moments of melting bodies ...

Convincingly Yours ... Trust Issues ...

I don't feel the need to convince You or anyone for that matter whether I trust you or not. All I need to do is, be able to look at the mirror and the face the person reflecting in that mirror each day. I am accountable for my actions, the words I speak or write; But, in no way am I to be held at gun point and made to say I TRUST YOU.

No, I won't say something I don't believe . I don't trust you. We have major trust issues. I respect you for your stance and respect for women but as a Lover , you have failed me. Instead of being there for me at my lowest ebbing period, you chose to hide behind Liquor bottles.

You were a good friend. A great companion indeed. But, when it came to responsibility towards your woman, you FAILED miserably.

Instead of allaying her fears , you went ahead and made her insecure. Instead of telling her Baby, I don't mean what I say to others , you went right ahead and flirted openly with others. Result, you fell flat on your face. To date none of them even replies straight to you yet you pursue them and make a fool of yourself. I don't know why you do this Tomfoolery. You had the best beside you, but you chose to follow the crass lot. Your decision, your fate.

I love you still no matter what , coz' you have been with me in my journey of pain. I stand by you, when you shall fall or fail, I shall be there to hold you steady but I still don't trust you. My instincts tell me , you shall fail me over and over again; yet I stand by you for I have loved you. I shall never hate you. I wasn't born to hate , but I shall never trust you again.

Convincing you of my love is no big deal , but convincing you that I trust you will take ages .... deal with it ... you axed your own foot.

There is none other than you whom I hold dear yet the fear of rejection once you are over and done with your addiction is what keeps me away from you. You need to convince me That I can TRUST YOU... none can do that for me or you.

बादशाह

वो एक है पर सब पर भारी...
कोई टिक न पाए ...
ऐसा रुतबा है मेरे यार का...
जब वो बातें करता है ...
फूल झाड़ते हैं लबों से उसके ...
जब वोह गरजता है ...
तो पत्ते भी सिकुड़ जाते हैं ...
मेरा यार ...
बादशाह है मेरी जन्नत का ...
मेरा यार बादशाह है मेरी दुनिया का.

उस एक शक्श के सिवा कोई और दीखता ही नहीं ...
ये मुझे क्या हो गया है ...
किस पथ्थार्दिल से मोहब्बत कर ली ...
किस नामुराद को दिल दे बैठी?
ये सवाल जेहें को ततो;ते हैं ...
और बेशरम दिल ...
एक ही जवाब देता है ...
रायजादा जो हमारे दिल का है ...
बादशाह हर महफ़िल का है.

मेरा प्यार उसके लिए कोई मायने नहीं रखता ...
वोह एक आजाद फितरत का राजकुमार है
रोज़ नयी धड्कनें उसकी हैं
हम तो ढलता सूरज हैं
पर फिर भीदिल न जाने क्यूँ कहता है
की बादशाह की हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक सिमित है
कोई और उस दिल में समा ही नहीं सकता
किसकी हिमाकत होगीजो वो हमें जुदा कर दे
खुदा ने जो हम पर ये नेमत बक्षी है
उसे कोई नहीं छीन सकता हमसे
बादशाह की शाही हुकूमत सिर्फ हम तक
काश ये जुदाई का आलम बिखर जाये
हम फिर पागल प्रेमियों की तरह मिलें
हम फिर से जी लें
जी लें अपनी ज़िन्दगी.

Our Baby ...

Remember the moments spent...
Discussing our little one ...
You wanted a Baby ...
I wanted a Baby ...
Cute, just like you ...
Our Baby ...
Naughty just like you ...
That night spent just talking about our Baby.

I imagined ...
Our lives revolving around our little one ...
His tiny fingers in your large hand ...
You big Ogre ...
Loving your little Shrek ...
Yes, those beautiful moments discussing ...
Our Baby.

The Perfect Life ...

In pursuit of a perfect life ,
WE miss the perfect moments.

In the search for an eternity ,
We lose out on the journey of life,
The very moments that,
Make or break us.

Long lost are the days of joy,
Spirited laughter,
No more seen,
All that is visible is ,
A long wait for something,
That touched us,
And left already.

We never realized.
What we had,
What we traded it for....
A lifetime of miseries ..
A truckload of aches...
Something that we lost,
Never to be found again,
The magic was lost to us...
The dreams withered away.

All that is left today ,
Is a vast expanse of desert ...
A dry wry life,
Nothing to look forth to ...
But a body of still water...
Ripples on which caused...
When we heave a sigh ...
A regret of a Lifetime.

The Perfect life...
Passed us by.

The Big Burly Bear ...

He growls and they scamper ...
He whines and whimpers for me ...
My Big Burly Bear ...
The Grizzly I love ...
Yeah! I love him when he roars ...
Out in the Wild ...
A loud roar calling my name ...
I melt within ...
He knows  how to make me go weak ...
Not by force ...
But just those words ...
whimpering .. Babyyyy

The Big Burly Bear ...
I am his Goldilocks ...
All's fair in love ....
The shouts and the pain.

The Giant Baby Bear ...
I shrink in size when he is near ...
Yeah! I love him ...
My Big Grizzly Bear.

Anger at the tip of his nose ...
Anger in his words ...
A pathetic verbiage ...
Swear in his rant...
Diarrhoea of sorts ...
He drinks his loneliness away....
Never realizing am just a call away.

The Grizzly guzzles beer ...
The Grizzly loves me Dear ...
But, his pathetic male ego ...
His raunchy desires ...
Make me turn away...
Yeah! I love him ...
But, I won't relent ...
Til he mends his ways ...
It shouldn't take long ...
Else all will be lost ...
I shall be lost to the Big Burly Bear.

The Relapse...

There is a complete loss of memory ....
A lapse not known before ...
Numbing of senses ...
Numbness of feelings ...
Yes, feelings lost ...
Temporarily or forever...
Not known are the reasons ...
For such a drastic change ..
A chemical aberration ..
Or, disillusionment with life ...
Whatever be it ...
It has changed the person ...
Who I am ...
Is radically changed henceforth.

A relapse might or might not occur...
A gain in memories ...
A distant thought ...
Feelings will not return ...
For sure...
They are lost ... Forever.