Kahin pe chitaa jali ...

Kahin pe chitaa jali ....
Kahin dil jaley ...
Par jal ke khaakh hui mohabbat ....
Rakh hui jawani ....
Hawaa ke jhonkey ke saath udd gayi rakh bhi .....
Bachi toh sirf ek rawani ...
Ek junoon ...
Na sukoon ....
Na kanoon ....
Buss haad maans ki putli ....
Kathputli ...
Ek zinda laash....
Na aakaash ...
Na zameen ...
Na samundar ka paani ....
Buss aankhon ka paani ....
Aansoon .... jo tapke moti bann ke ....
Jahan girey ... wahan phool khiley ....
Ek nayi aasha jagi....
Ek nayi rawaani chaayi...
Baaki bacha itihaas ....
Jo likh di hamney apni kahani.
Kahin pe chitaa jali ...
Kahin pe paani mein lagi aag ....
Lekin jo dhuan utha ...
Usmein ek atmaa jagi ...
Ek insaan jagaa...
Ek aurat ko mili zindagi ...
Uskey aansoon sookh gaye....
Uski raahein khul gayin ...
Manzilein kareeb aa gayi....
Sukoon mil gaya.

I thought .....

I didn't know ....
I thought .... you had erased me from your memory ....
Never thought you would designate me the place in your heart ...
And lives ...
Am overcome with emotions ...
Heavy emotions ....
Thank you Daddu ...
Thank you Maa....
What Maa couldn't do as a mortal being ....
She is doing from up there ....
She is still here ....
I can feel her looking at me and saying as she used to say ...
Radhika you are the best but for your anger ....
Yaa aar ya paar ....
That naughty smile ....
That understanding ....
What happened? God knows ... His ways....
But, I miss my FAMILY....
I owe it to you Maa ...
This is an ode to your relentless and undying faith ....
That one day all will be well ....
Wish I could get you back ....
Take away all the pain ....
I was your Mother in law remember ....
You were never mine ...
You were my Maa and Daddu ...
You taught me to make the perfect rotis and parathas ...
And, rajma and choley ....
The best Baingan ka bharta ... kids love it ...
Baingan ka Raita ....
Aloo ka Raita....
And, always the most for me ...
Even mangoes ... I remember ....
You pampered me too much ....
So I took so many liberties with you ...
You were mine ...
You still are my Maa and Daddu ....
Signing on a piece of paper doesn't change anything ....
The relation remains....
Albeit just with you ....
But, it does ....
People ask me why I didn't change my name again ....
And, I say ... signing a piece of paper doesn't change any relation.
I thought you had torn all the photos and deleted me from your life ...
But, here I am ....
Standing tall ...
As your daughter ....
Your daughter will never let you down ...
She will make you proud always....
Love you both Maa and Daddu ....
Let the wheel turn .....
Let the Garden blossom forever.

Empty Cartridges ....

Clink.. plunk....clunk...
The empty cartridges fall down ....
The Cowgirl pushes her gun back in the belt ....
Moves forth .... Kicks the dead bandit with her boots with silver studs ....
Chequered shirt and tight faded jeans....
Leather belt and a Cowboy Hat ...
That's all ... that is needed to ....
Make a statement ....
That's me ....
My new avatar ...
A rural lass in the making ....
An urban chick fading ....
Uber class lady ....
Flinging all the bling  .....
Just moving on ...
Nothing left behind ....
Not even memories of the remote past ....
SoBo Chick .... on the go ...
A long winding path to carve ....
That's her .... That's me ....
Empty cartridges ....
Left behind....
All the bandits of the past ....
Dead behind ....
Corpses ... rotting in the Sun ....
Eaten by vultures ...
All behind me....
I trudge along the waterway ....
The River of no return.

Swords drawn out ....

Daggers and Swords .....
All drawn out ...
A war cry .... shrill and harsh ....
Sounding in the distance ....
The howl of the hounds....
Swords drawn out ....
Daggers drawn out ....
A click of the safety pin ....
Of a Handgun ....
A gang war .... on the go ....
A war to watch out for ....
I hold onto my baseball bat ...
That's all I need ....
To break the jaw of the opponent ...
My daggers and sword in their sheaths....
No need for sharp weapons...
My tongue is sharp enough ....
My words are rasp enough ...
My writing is good enough to launch a warhead ...
To send them hurtling down to hell.
Just like an arrow ....
A bullet .... or a strike of the sharp object...
My words can't be taken back ....
Once uttered ... They are the gospel truth.
I am the reigning terror around ....
I am the reigning Queen ...
Try as you may ....
I am invincible ...
Coz' am the living dead.
Nothing can kill me or give me pain ...
I am the invincible one....
I am the reigning Queen of terror....
I am ... the banished one...
I vanquished all my fears....
I triumphed in the end...
I juggle between pain and pleasure ....
I shuttle between the living and the dead.
Swords and daggers drawn out ...
They don't impale me with fear ....
I am a dagger drawn by the almighty itself.

Etched on my heart .....

Etched on my heart is his name ...
Inked forever on my chest is his name .....
The Lord of love and anger ....
Mine forever ....
His love and my anger....
 A deadly combination.....
That erupted a war when love happened ....
A thousand ships launched for one ....
A thousand swords drawn for another ...
His name etched on my heart forever.

With me he shall live a thousand lives ...
With me he shall die a thousand deaths ....
For he is my voodooed doll ...
My favourite doll of all.

Etched in my memory ....
Are his antics ....
His laughter ....
The tears in his eyes ....
The tired look ....
The morose look ....
The look of regret ...
The unfazed love ....
The look of a lover .....
Waiting for the right time.....
Etched in the sand of time ...
I Love you.....
Washed away by waves....
Yet, written each day ..... each moment.

Etched on my heart is his name ....
Etched in my memory is his face.....
In my arms .... his memento for me to keep...
Little fingers to hold on to....
His name ... now my name.

Sound of Music ....

The sound of music he played ....
He played for me ....
Make me go ballistic .... at times ... holistic at times ....
Mood swings occur....
I cry .... a muffled cry ....
I smile .... a sly smile....
A smile that tells all ....
My love for him ....
It hasn't dimmed a bit ...
Getting stronger day by day ....
A faith ....
A fervent prayer ....
Turn back the tide ....
Turn the turn of events .....
Change everything for the better ....
But, time and tide ....
They never turn back .....
They just go on doing their job ....
We are left to do ours.

The sound of music he played ...
The songs he sang ...
His voice.... so clear in my head ...
In my conscience ....
As though he is sitting beside me...
Holding my hand ... and singing ....
Caressing my face ....
Moving his hand through my hair.....
He loved doing that ...
Caressing my hand and my head....
I remember ...
Remember it all ....
As if it is happening right now.

The sound of music .....
His voice ....
His gaze .....
Unnerving gaze ....
And I give a shy smile .....
All to myself ....
Just thinking of him and him only.

Ek chadar maili si ....

Ek chadar maili si .....
Yaad dilati hai woh raat....
Jiss raat hum baithey thei ...
Khuley aasmaan taley ...
Chandni raat mein ....
Oss se geeli ghaans per....
Chadar bichaye ...
Wohi chadar yaad aaye ...
Ek chadar maili si....
Bheegi oss  ki boondon se....
Neend gayab thi uss raat....
Buss aasman ke taarey bas gaye thei aankhon mein....
Paas woh thei aur hum ...
Dooja koi nahi ....
Buss ... do dilon ke darmiyan koi aur nahi ....
Phir ek goonj uthi ....
Aankhein khuli....
Woh ek khwaab tha....
Par chadar geeli thi....
Maili chadar ....
Kaise?
Woh khwaab kabhi ek haqeeqat tha....
Ek hoonk uthi aur khwaab toot gaya....
Maili chadar mere saath reh gayi buss...
Aur kuch nahi.

My Reflection ....

See my reflection .....
In the work I do .....
See my reflection  .....
In my kids ....Kids .... Biological and the ones I keep for their parents ....
See my reflection in them.

I see my reflection each day ...
I give a pat to myself and say....
Atta Girl!  Good job ....
The reflection says ..... It's part of the deal ....
A job well done .... a glow on my face.

Walking down the path of my dreams ....
Dreams I haven't seen yet ....
But, realized much before ...
I know my inner self glows ....
The reflection shows ....
Deep within the satisfaction ....
Of a life lived ....
Well lived .... despite the strife....
Yet, a life ....
To talk about ...
A life to remember.....
And, be remembered.... Always.