Firework.....

So many... In such a short time ...

Yeah! So many lovers ...
Ek baar thaana ki saala ...
Sab mardon ko sanitary pad ki tarah use karo ...
Aur phir dustbin mein daal do....
Saale sab usi layak hain...
Abb ke yehi motto rahega ....
No more love shove ...
Now only lust ... satisfaction (mine) ..
And, leave them hanging .....lol

I must be dead drugged to write this ...
What a bold statement to make ..
In India .....
Our So called Society ...
All fuckall ...
Made by suckers ....
Men with no balls .....
Just anklets and wearing petticoats ...
Eunuchs ....
All of them ....

Just use them and leave them....
They deserve no emotion of yours ...
Just your motion ..
Loose motion smeared on their ugly faces...
Faecal matter to manage their fiscal matters ...lol

He was my friend first ...

Yeah! He was my friend first...
Then kab pyar ho gaya ...
Pata hi nahi chala...
I was setting him up for my cousin ....
But setting ke aankde shaayad ultey ho gaye...
And, one fine day we realized we were made for each other...
There was someone else who wanted to marry me ....
He tried his level best to wean me away from him ....
He couldn't ... I broke all ties with him ....
And, I married him .....
We were happy....
We had two kids...
The best in the World ... geniuses...
Whizkids ...
Yet, one day a storm came and the nest was left tattered and torn ...
Nothing left of it .....
After that Mamma bird never made a nest again ....
Papa bird flew away.... set up a new nest ....
Mamma bird keeps moving from one place to another with the two birdies...
But, she is happy ....
Coz' now there is no nest to break....
Nothing left to break ...
Not even her heart ....
A heart of stone ...
A heart that doesn't bleed anymore ....
All there is a ROCK ....
Nothing else...
It can't melt even ...
So, she is more like an Ice maiden ...
Whom they fear ....
Who come near ....
Her words are fireworks ...
No sweetness in them ...
Just barking orders.....
Keeping men as slaves ...
Coz' slaves are all she needs now ...
No hearts just slaves to hurt and feel nice about it...
I know sadistic ... but that's what time has made her ...
Her destiny unknown....
She treads upon treacherous terrain ...
One slip and a deep precipice ...
But, she moves on ...
Not looking back.........ever....
Those who are gone ...
Are lost forever....
No memories ....
Just deep scars .....
An anger that usurps all the goodness with in her ....
An  anger that's consumed her ....
And left her smouldering.

He was my friend first ...
Now, No one.

Humble love ...

This is another love story ....
Whose?
Mine....
I have many anecdotes ....
Lotsa stories   love stories to write about ....
This guy too still loves me and adores me ....
Literally worships me ...
Kisses the ground I walk on.
All he can do is sigh from a distance ....
And, worry about me all the time ...
They all love me ....
Fuckers , they do ....
But.... all are scared of my anger ...
The What if she...?
Kills their libido ....
 I walk away laughing.
Am happy , though they are lovers....
They love me and respect me....
Are always there for me ...
Coz' they know , I mean no harm ....
I am as harmless as an ANT in an Elephant's trunk.
LOL......
There are a couple more ...
Who love me in all humbleness..
The holy Queen ...
Yet the Queen doesn't set her eyes upon them...
She walks on ....
A journey .... to someplace ....
She herself is unaware of ...
Maybe, a journey of self discovery .....
What's left to discover though!
Something ..... some thought torments her soul....
Tugs at her toes....
Eggs her on to move ... move and move.
So humble love watches from a distance .... they all do.

Pehla pyar .... first love ....

Yes, he was my first and very first love ...
Sweet innocent papery love ...
All I ever did was write poetry to convey my thoughts across...
Mind you thought s and not feelings .....
I was just falling in love ...
It was so awkward ....
Sitting ten metres apart ....
Not looking directly at each other ...
Yet two lovers in the same room ....
Jokes were made of our budding romance ....
Everyone was sure ....
We would marry one day .....
That day never came .....
He went flying .... never to return ....
I waited and then wasted my life away....
Today he seeks me out ...
Yet I steer clear of him ...
Lest he flies away again.

He tried to search for me in others....
Couldn't find me there....
Now. he has found me ...
But, I ain't the same as before.....
The anger that boils within me ...
Was brought forth by his cowardice ....
The angry woman that loathes men ....
He sculpted the brain so....
How can she forgive him .....
Never.....
So, he waits in the wings.....
Reading every post I write ....
But, waiting is all he can do ...
I can't leave my haven for his palace ....
And, he can't leave his paradise for my RULES & REGULATIONS.

Pehla pyar hai... abhi bhi hai ....
Par uss par ab bharosa nahi hai ...
Kyun ki jab bharosa tootta hai...
Toh ek dil nahi ek insaan toot jata hai ...
Chaknachoor ho jata hai...
Kahin koi sheesha toot kar wapas judaaa hai?
Nahi...
So, first love must wait in the wings ....
For when I soar high up in the sky ...
To meet the creator ....
I shall wave him a goodbye on the way.

You still are ...

You still are the pillar of strength ....
You still are the person I called Daddu .....
A term of endearment for a father ...
Earlier the relation was something else ...
Now, it is a daughter and no one else...
And a daughter has every right over her FATHER ....
To crib and cry her heart out ....
I am not asking my father to do anything for me ....
I am just asking him to be there When I am not there.
You still are my Daddu and shall remain so ....
And, this is one rebellious daughter you have ...
Whose tantrums no one can equal...
She takes her anger from you....
She takes after you.
You may not have sired her ....
But, she is the daughter you wish you had.
If I shout and scream through my words ...
It's because I have no other outlet for my anger ....
It's best this way than any other ...
Keep others away from harms way ......
Your post can never be taken by any other.....
If my biological father was a man extraordinaire ...
You are the father I adopted ......
For his qualities and discipline....
And, of course .... the same rage within as mine.
You still are and will be Daddu.

No one ...

No one has challenged anyone ...
Nor insinuations made ...
A question about identity was asked....
Coz' you were following the person in question ....
Why follow?
And, what I write at any given time is the state of mind I am in....
If I am bugged ...
It reflects ...
And everybody is at the receiving end ...
Not just one person ...
So no offence ought to be taken ....
That is why WE separated....
My ANGER.
My Anger knows no bounds ....
And, anyone who has been around knows ...
It is a short outburst ....
But destroys Worlds.

I have never blamed anyone else ...
My shortcoming is my ANGER....
My anger is something...
I can do nothing about .....
Poor Kids.... imagine their plight ...
They are right there suffering each day....
Just like others...
The day their wings are strong enough ...
Even they will fly away ....
I shall not cry ...
For I know ...
It will happen one day...
They are just biding their time....
Just like others who left.
I need no one around me ...
I am better left alone ..
Alone ...
My World has many possibilities ...
Many promises ...
Many dreams ....
I need no one.
Neither do I dream of growing old...
Only living till the birds fly away from the Nest ...
Then I shall release the soul (If any left)...
And leave the mortal remains behind.
My words are my legacy to my flock ....
Nothing else.
No one needs to feel sad....
My words are my outpourings...
YOU are not the target ....
NO ONE is ....
I am me ...
And, that is how I live my life ....
ON MY OWN TERMS.
Everyone has a demon to fight with ....
I have no demons to fight with ...
But, my ANGER....
Which is worse than cancer....
It has no CURE.

Charity begins from home...

It's so easy to be a philanthropist these days ...
It is so easy to say ...
I did so and so ...
But, you did all for Others ...
What did you do for your own?
When they were struggling ...
Their heads barely bobbing on the surface of a rough ocean ....
Where were you?
Charity begins from home ...
Don't term it as charity though ...
Responsibility ...
Where were your strong shoulders....
When the fledglings were still learning to walk ?
Where were you ...
When they most needed you?
You weren't there....
Yo are not there....
You are but a ghost of the past ....
A memory ....
How can they ever respect you ..
Someone who pledged his life to the nation ...
But, forsook his own responsibilities....
This is an outburst ...
But not a cry to beg ...
We don't need nobody's charity ...
They shall never beg for it ....
They will never have to...
For as long as I live ...
I won't let them starve ...
And, when I am gone ....
They will have enough ...
And, they are capable beings ...
Who hold their heads high and walk ...
They don't need no man to man their lives...
The woman they call MOM is man enough to bring them up ...
All alone ....
She is the only MAN in this man's world ...
Who has balls.
Yes, she has the balls to stand up to anyone.....
And say .... Leave ... you are not needed here.
She doesn't need a man to tend to her flock ...
She has done it in the past....
She is still doing it ..
And, when she is no more ...
There will be enough.....
She doesn't need another man ....
To bring up HER children....
They are hers and hers alone.

Charity indeed begins from home ....
If there ever was one.