Hail ...

Hail Mary!... Nah ... am writing about the hailstorm ....
The hailstorm that would turn our ....
Green English Grass carpet lawn ..... Pristine white.

The hail stones that we would gather ...
The dupatta the prodigal grandson would take ...
Green dupatta ...
And go out and collect the hail stones ....
It was fun ....
Zorro and Thunder ....
Thunder and the cows ...
Thunder and uninvited guests ...
Escorting everyone in ...
It was fun .....
The big refrigerator ... White Westinghouse ....
Hahha ... the jokes about Maa fitting into it ...
The grandson opening the fridge and sitting near the door on real hot days ...
The neighbours ...
The neighbourhood....
Vijay Singh .... How can one forget him?
The washing machine and chores divided....
The vegetable vendor ....
The Eunuchs arriving on 1st April and really ....
The kids and me hidden inside ...
And, then pleasing them with goodies...
Now, when I look back and recall ....
They were good old days ....
We humans have forgotten how to live life now...
All we do now is Rush, rush and rush ....
One place to another ....
Always in a hurry ...
No matter what ...
No time for relations....
No time for rituals.

I remember ....
The havans ....
The Akhand paath ..
Maa's mandir ...
Her Ram ....
Her Krishna...
Their clothes....
The Ramayana she would start on 9th September each year ...
And, end the next year on 9th September...
So much love...
True love.

High Tea ....

I remember the High Teas we used to have ....
Good fun ...
All the and goodies ...
Games of Tambola ....
Winning always ...
Sandwiches and fritters ....
That was life ....
What to wear .....
All the pearls displayed ....
table manners ...
Etiquette's .... imperative ,...
Isn't that life is all about ....
Style ... Impeccable style ...
Persona and Personality ...
Character and characterization ...
Loved the security that followed ..
The VIP treatment ...
We were the VVIPs always....
Weren't we?
We still are ...
Wherever we go ... people still salute us...
That's called personality...
When a DGP also stands up to respect a LADY.

Coming back to High Tea....
Strawberry shortcakes ...
Victoria sandwiches ...
The kisses in the air ...
All so old fashioned ...
But with style ...
Grooming to the core ...
That's how the elite live ...
That's how we live.

The tea served in teapots...
Sugar cubes besides ...
Milk poured to the right consistency ...
In tea cups and saucers of fine bone china....
Swarovsky crystals and Lladro porcelain discussed ...
So would discussions on politics be ...
Politics within the ranks...
It was fun ...
Not about the gifts or false pretenses ...
But more so of time spent ....
In knowing and observing human behaviour.

High Tea ...
At Rajbhavan  ....
An honour few get invited for ...
High Tea at Rashtrapati Bhavan....
An honour indeed.

Have seen it all ...
The good life ...
And, imagine was about to give it all up for a junkie ....
Nah... just in the nick of time ...
Realised MY MISTAKE ...
HIS FOLLY.

Can't forget my roots for a roadside Romeo ....
The Royals do not interact with the Commons .....
Oops I meant CONMAN.

The Coffee Mornings ...

They used to be fun ... The coffee mornings with ladies from the different units showcasing their prowess at impressing us. The innumerable games of Rummy and the eats and gossip.

Oh! It used to be fun .... getting all set for those days .... some one or the other calling us over. Used to love the parties and then the discussion after that on the way back home.

Remember in Tekanpur .... The golgappa day ... I had nearly a hundred golgappas .... Wow!

The fish .... Aah .... a delicacy cooked to perfection underground when in Lucknow on 16th April 1993. The talk of the town.

Then, the fish in Tekanpur and Jaisalmer .... Ker sangri ....
Angad's relapse of Malaria and you got that tree cut coz' it was the breeding ground for the mosquitoes ....
Gurde and kapoore ... Angad would relish..... me too.

Beautiful days .... His bed .... custom made ... his high chair .... custom made .... his clothes .... everything tailored to perfection and with love.

All the memories flooding back .... Thank God! Earlier I thought I was suffering from memory loss.... Alzheimer's to be precise .... no more .... Now, I remember.

One shock sent me reeling into the black hole .... another catapulted me back to my life.

Am happy and content now.

Am back to coffee mornings .... Anusuya makes the best coffee in the World and the best chocolate cake .... and Maa's technique ... just the way she used to make and bake with her bare hands... All mixed in one go and churned with hand. Personal touch.

Much more later. For now .... Goodnight ... but as Mataji  and Pitaji would like it ... Shubhratri.

FYI ... Dodos are extinct...

FYI.... Dodos became extinct a long time ago ....

So much insecurity ...

Gawd.... why can't she be content with what she has?
So much insecurity?
Woman .... Stupid woman ...
I am leading my happy life ....
Just lead yours....
Don't snoop...
You ain't Snoop Dogg....
LOL.... Right?
So, move on .... Bitch.

Naye Kaafiley ...

Ek umra daraaz thi ...
Kuch lamhe thei ...
Unnke liye humneapne lamhe kho diye ...
Aaj woh nahi rahe ..
Par mere beetey huye pal ...
Wapas aa gaye....
Wapas mil gaye puraaney dost yaar ...
Phir naye kaafiley shuru ho gaye...
Zindagiphir se muskuraney lagi ....
Naya daur phir wapas aa gaya...
Kuch apne puraaney mil gaye ...
Kuch naye dil hil gaye ...
Sab kuch badal kar bhi wahi hai ...
Buss kuch nahi badlaa toh woh pyaar hai ...
Ek ehsaas ...
Jo kabhi saanson mein thei ..
Woh wapa dil ki dhadkan bann gaye...
Ab naa koi giley ...
Na koi shikwe ....
Buss armaanon ki baarat...
Ek Shehzadi ...
Aur taaron bhari raat.

Jaaney kaise kab mulaqat ho gayi ....
Kab kareeb aaye ...
Aur yeh baat ho gayi.

Oh! By the way ...

Oh! By the way ....
How does my LED TV look in that new flat ....you call home?
Where did you keep it?
 A constant reminder of me ... right?
 And, does he still wear the Rolex watch, he flicked from my home?
And, the clothes .. tees and shirts and belt and trousers and jeans I bought for him ...
Again a constant reminder ...
And the shoes and sandals....
Always reminding him...
Who gave them all to him and his mom...
Does she wear the shoes bought with my money when she goes for a walk ....
Everything he says are his were bought by me ....
How can he FORGET?
ENJOY while you can ...
Or burn them all ...
Ashes ... ruins of a past ....
But, history can never be forgotten ....
Some things remain....
And, a museum is made for them ....
Find that museum ....
Find the TRUTH.
Oh! Forgot ....
Where are the books he took from my home ...
For Self Growth ...
All signs ....
Signs of my presence ....
Don't overlook the signs ....
Better safe than sorry.
For as long he exists ....
I LIVE....
Live in his memories...
Tormenting his soul ...
Be the balm .....
Good Luck!

Obsession...

Gawd! Why can't people get over their obsession ....
I don't care whether you or HE live or die ...
For me HE died the day you appeared live on the web...
Enjoy your life with the dead and decaying ....
Don't get God in between ...
Nor spiritual Gurus ...
They would be turning in "THEIR GRAVES".
Don't be so scared ...
I don't spit and lick it ...
I leave it for the likes of you ....
To relish.

So much insecurity ain't good ....
Go have a life ....
Rather than spy on me at night ...lol

I never look back ...
I just look forward ....
And am looking forward ...
And, you don't feature anywhere in that list.

Stop this obsession with me ...
At times I wonder if you are a lesbian....
Hahaha ....
Worry about others ...
There are plenty ...
Right under your nose...
Look around ...
Observe the subtle signs ....
You will know what I am writing about ....
Better late than never.

Every concubine gets a place to stay....
You chose to call it a home ...
It's not home .....
It's your grave ....
Watch the signs....
Four walls and a roof don't make for a home ....
People do ....
Wholehearted people...
Not people who are there just so that they can save their back....
WATCH THE SIGNS .... OBSERVE.

Stop your OBSESSION with me .....
Move on ...
Make your life.