I wonder ....

I lay there ... on my back ...
On the green green grass ......
Looking at the blue blue sky ...
Wondering ....
Where did it all begin ...
And, where will it all end?
Life is a big question .....
An unanswered question since ages .....
Four decades .... forty two springs ....
I wonder ...
I reel of a lifetime ...
How it passed by ....
A movie rolling by ...
Experiences good and bad ...
Life experiences ....
They all taught me something ....
Or the other .....
A lifetime ....
Beautiful life ....
If I had to live it again ....
I wouldn't want to change it a bit....
Every moment taught me something ...
Made me who I am ....
Every person ...
Every place has a special memory ....
Every experience special.....
Wouldn't change a moment .....
I wonder in wonderment ....
I wonder in surprise ...
Bewildered ...
A lifetime of fluttering ......
My wings flapping .... here and there ...
Flitting from place to place ....
Still lots of places to visit ...
I wonder ...
I am all set to travel again ....
New lands beckon me ...
New opportunities ....
New people ...
New bonds to forge ....
Surge ahead with renewed vigour and energy.....
My calling ....
My life ...
My wonders to explore.

My back up plan ....

Yup .... He is my back up plan ....
He is there for AGNI eventually ...
Someone has to be there for him ....
So my back up plan .... stepped in ....
This is what true friendship and pure love is all about ....
Not lust and cheating ....
But sacrifice.

This love has no beginning ...
Nor an end ....
It is in continuum ....
Just going on ....
So far yet so near ....
So dear ...
First love ... Puppy love ....
A realization ....
A tremendous feeling ....
A high no other moment can give .....
First love ... Puppy love ....
My back up plan.

My greatest strength ... AGNI

Did just that ...
In the past couple of days ....
And, am glad ...
I just let it all out ...
Feeling so light ...
Like a feather floating in free sky ...
Just floating .....
That's one of my strengths....
Just letting it out ...Pour out ....
Words just flow from within ...
The heaviness lifting along with them ....
That's what keeps me alive and kicking .

Kicking reminds me ...
My greatest strength are my babies ...
Two have grown ...
One growing deep within me ....
AGNI...My greatest strength ....
He is the reason I am still ticking ....
He is the reason ...
I let go ...
For I have him  ..
Need no one else for happiness ..
The very thought of AGNI...
Brings a smile on my lips ...
What else can a mother ask for?

If am busy today...
It's coz' I know ...
Tomorrow, AGNI will keep me busy ...
And, I shall have no time for anything else ...
SO, am wrapping up every work ...
Every detail outlined ...
So that, When I go away with AGNI ....
I shall not be missed at all.

My strength ... my power lies in AGNI...
The fire in my belly ...
The blaze that is kindled ...
Stoked and flares ...
Deep within me ...
My AGNI.... Just mine.

Solitude ....

In my solitude ... exists my happiness ...
There I dwell deep within ....
Seeking answers to unanswered questions .....
My safe haven ...
Where no one can hurt me ...
Where I remain untouched by all.

My solitude ...
Is the answer to all the questions ...
Rock solid I do stand ...
When I am alone ....
I am better off without anyone ....
For I belong to the ether ...
Not from this World am I ....
I belong else where.

In my solitude ....
I see Rainbow ...
The hues and colours attract me ....
I colour my World with the brush ....
Dipped in the colours of my solitude.

Alone, I stand tall ....
Alone , I am the wall ....
Alone, I am happy ....
Alone,  I am perfect ....
Alone, I travel through the prism ...
Into a realm of deep peace ....
My solitude shouldn't be mistaken ....
For loneliness ...
It is a place where I find my space, time and peace.
I ain't lonely there ....
I have lots to think about ....
Conjure words and muse over things ...
My solitude is my bliss.

I create my path in my solitude ..
I become the path in my solitude....
I have immense courage in my solitude ...
My solitude determines my attitude.

True love stories never have an ending ..... Richard Bach

Right said Richard!
True love stories never really end ....
They go on ....
They live on ....
They leave their footprints in the sand of time ....
They just are never ending ....
He will agree ....
The one who still lingers on ....
The one who still stays put ....
I know   he knows ....
No one else needs to know.

Hang in there buddy ....
We shall meet some day ...
Towards the Sunset ....
Go for a long walk maybe ....
Hand in hand ....
Never regretting the past.
That's what true love is all about....
Friendship.

We started as friends ....
Ended as partners ...
Today, we yet meet again ....
As friends ...
And, that's what love is all about ...
Being there.

We sacrificed a lot ....
We made a pact ...
But, truly we never fought ....
We just drifted apart with the current ....
Then the tide changed ....
And, we came together again .....
The tide keeps changing ....
Like the El Nino effect ...
But, we keep getting back together again .....
Coz' that's what love is all about .....
FIRST LOVE .....
PUPPY LOVE.

Lies ....

People tell lies to keep you from hurting, although sometimes the fact they lied hurts more than the truth itself.

The lies kill everything ....
Emotions .... people ....
Feelings .... Just about everything.

One lie leads to another ....
And so on ....
You say a thousand lies ....
To cover up one lie ....
You just ruin everything ....
Everything goes for a toss ...
Lives are disrupted ....
Childhoods lost ....
Life is lost .....
Trust is lost ....
Nothing remains ....
But a vast emptiness.

Eulogies ....

Today we celebrated Teachers Day in School ..... Just the Staff and me. It was fun .... theme being Bad Gurlz ... we all let our hair loose .. I hardly have any but we just shed all inhibitions and had a gala time followed by Luncheon at a Restaurant and gifts showered on the teachers.

Everybody performed and I did too. I sang the song Maa used to love to hear me sing .... Every eye was moist.

I have had many teachers having studied all my life ... but she taught me about life. She was my best teacher .... I just forgot a few lessons in between .... Now I have learnt them well .... life taught me the hard way.... direct experience. But, nevertheless .... I learnt them well.

This tribute.... This eulogy goes to the best teacher in the World .... Maa.

I Know who I am .... Do you?

You are just a leech ....
A parasite sucking someone else's blood ...
Don't challenge me ....
Isn't the past few days experience .....
Proof enough of my strength?

I don't need to prove myself to anybody ....
I Known who I am.....
Do you know who you are?
No. you don't.....
Else you wouldn't be begging ...
To stay in a relation that sucks.

Rest assured ....
I don't spit and lick it ...
My spit is for you to lick ....
My leftover for you to partake....
That is all you need to survive ...
Exist ...
But, not live.
Each day... I know ..
I am aware it's a struggle ....
For you to get their approval ....
You will never reach there....
There will always be a nagging feeling ....
You are just being used....
Used like a sanitary pad ...
And, then one day thrown in the garbage .....
Where you truly belong.