My back up plan ....

Yup .... He is my back up plan ....
He is there for AGNI eventually ...
Someone has to be there for him ....
So my back up plan .... stepped in ....
This is what true friendship and pure love is all about ....
Not lust and cheating ....
But sacrifice.

This love has no beginning ...
Nor an end ....
It is in continuum ....
Just going on ....
So far yet so near ....
So dear ...
First love ... Puppy love ....
A realization ....
A tremendous feeling ....
A high no other moment can give .....
First love ... Puppy love ....
My back up plan.

My greatest strength ... AGNI

Did just that ...
In the past couple of days ....
And, am glad ...
I just let it all out ...
Feeling so light ...
Like a feather floating in free sky ...
Just floating .....
That's one of my strengths....
Just letting it out ...Pour out ....
Words just flow from within ...
The heaviness lifting along with them ....
That's what keeps me alive and kicking .

Kicking reminds me ...
My greatest strength are my babies ...
Two have grown ...
One growing deep within me ....
AGNI...My greatest strength ....
He is the reason I am still ticking ....
He is the reason ...
I let go ...
For I have him  ..
Need no one else for happiness ..
The very thought of AGNI...
Brings a smile on my lips ...
What else can a mother ask for?

If am busy today...
It's coz' I know ...
Tomorrow, AGNI will keep me busy ...
And, I shall have no time for anything else ...
SO, am wrapping up every work ...
Every detail outlined ...
So that, When I go away with AGNI ....
I shall not be missed at all.

My strength ... my power lies in AGNI...
The fire in my belly ...
The blaze that is kindled ...
Stoked and flares ...
Deep within me ...
My AGNI.... Just mine.

Solitude ....

In my solitude ... exists my happiness ...
There I dwell deep within ....
Seeking answers to unanswered questions .....
My safe haven ...
Where no one can hurt me ...
Where I remain untouched by all.

My solitude ...
Is the answer to all the questions ...
Rock solid I do stand ...
When I am alone ....
I am better off without anyone ....
For I belong to the ether ...
Not from this World am I ....
I belong else where.

In my solitude ....
I see Rainbow ...
The hues and colours attract me ....
I colour my World with the brush ....
Dipped in the colours of my solitude.

Alone, I stand tall ....
Alone , I am the wall ....
Alone, I am happy ....
Alone,  I am perfect ....
Alone, I travel through the prism ...
Into a realm of deep peace ....
My solitude shouldn't be mistaken ....
For loneliness ...
It is a place where I find my space, time and peace.
I ain't lonely there ....
I have lots to think about ....
Conjure words and muse over things ...
My solitude is my bliss.

I create my path in my solitude ..
I become the path in my solitude....
I have immense courage in my solitude ...
My solitude determines my attitude.

True love stories never have an ending ..... Richard Bach

Right said Richard!
True love stories never really end ....
They go on ....
They live on ....
They leave their footprints in the sand of time ....
They just are never ending ....
He will agree ....
The one who still lingers on ....
The one who still stays put ....
I know   he knows ....
No one else needs to know.

Hang in there buddy ....
We shall meet some day ...
Towards the Sunset ....
Go for a long walk maybe ....
Hand in hand ....
Never regretting the past.
That's what true love is all about....
Friendship.

We started as friends ....
Ended as partners ...
Today, we yet meet again ....
As friends ...
And, that's what love is all about ...
Being there.

We sacrificed a lot ....
We made a pact ...
But, truly we never fought ....
We just drifted apart with the current ....
Then the tide changed ....
And, we came together again .....
The tide keeps changing ....
Like the El Nino effect ...
But, we keep getting back together again .....
Coz' that's what love is all about .....
FIRST LOVE .....
PUPPY LOVE.

Lies ....

People tell lies to keep you from hurting, although sometimes the fact they lied hurts more than the truth itself.

The lies kill everything ....
Emotions .... people ....
Feelings .... Just about everything.

One lie leads to another ....
And so on ....
You say a thousand lies ....
To cover up one lie ....
You just ruin everything ....
Everything goes for a toss ...
Lives are disrupted ....
Childhoods lost ....
Life is lost .....
Trust is lost ....
Nothing remains ....
But a vast emptiness.

Eulogies ....

Today we celebrated Teachers Day in School ..... Just the Staff and me. It was fun .... theme being Bad Gurlz ... we all let our hair loose .. I hardly have any but we just shed all inhibitions and had a gala time followed by Luncheon at a Restaurant and gifts showered on the teachers.

Everybody performed and I did too. I sang the song Maa used to love to hear me sing .... Every eye was moist.

I have had many teachers having studied all my life ... but she taught me about life. She was my best teacher .... I just forgot a few lessons in between .... Now I have learnt them well .... life taught me the hard way.... direct experience. But, nevertheless .... I learnt them well.

This tribute.... This eulogy goes to the best teacher in the World .... Maa.

I Know who I am .... Do you?

You are just a leech ....
A parasite sucking someone else's blood ...
Don't challenge me ....
Isn't the past few days experience .....
Proof enough of my strength?

I don't need to prove myself to anybody ....
I Known who I am.....
Do you know who you are?
No. you don't.....
Else you wouldn't be begging ...
To stay in a relation that sucks.

Rest assured ....
I don't spit and lick it ...
My spit is for you to lick ....
My leftover for you to partake....
That is all you need to survive ...
Exist ...
But, not live.
Each day... I know ..
I am aware it's a struggle ....
For you to get their approval ....
You will never reach there....
There will always be a nagging feeling ....
You are just being used....
Used like a sanitary pad ...
And, then one day thrown in the garbage .....
Where you truly belong.

There's so much to write about ...

There are bees and birds to write about ....
There are creepy, crawlies to write about ....
There's so much to write about ....
There's my farm with wild boars to write about ...
There's my outhouse in my farm to write about ...
There's my Dollhouse to write about ....
There's my tea set to write about ....
There's so much to write about ...
There are those skeletons in my cupboard to write about ....
I don't open it ....
Lest they all fall out and yikes make a mess on my bedroom floor ...
There's my beautiful jewellery to write about ....
There was a shine in his eyes when he saw my diamonds ....
I know he flicked a couple of my blings ...
I overlooked it ...
Knowing fully well....
What his financial condition is like ...
Not knowing he was taking it for the Bar Girl and her litter.
There's so much to write about...
Lots ....
The moolah in cash he took to sustain the Hoe ....
The gifts he made me buy for his mom ....
It all sucks to remember that ...
There's so much to write about.
But, it makes no sense at all ....
We all see beggars on the roads ...
At the traffic signals....
They remind me of him ....
Just a fleeting glimpse ....
That's all.

There's so much to write about ....
Yet, so little to remember now.