Yours or mine.....

Your words leave me gasping for air every time  I read them....
I feel so guilty stepping into your shoes...
But, aren't those the shoes I left behind the first time.
So selfish, yet so innocent....
So childlike, yet so vicious....
He is mine, I won't leave him for anything....
all my life I pined for his love.....
Today when he is near me .... why do I fear?

He was yours, yet you left him....
He needed you , but you weren't there for him....
Then why do you cry now.... when he is mine....
Don't kill me with those soulful eyes and those lusty words of yours....
They make me sad and pity you your folly....
He is mine and not yours from the beginning..,,
Oh! How selfish of me, yet I dare to openly admit....
He is mine and I won't let him go.....

A new day, a new dawn....

A new day, a new dawn,
Yet my heart and mind are a turmoil of emotions.

Nothing can match the brevity,
Of the situation, I am in.
Am hard pressed for words...
A writers block threatening to stop the  flow of thoughts.

Life couldn't have got any more complicated than this.
When I thought all was hunky dory,
My man comes up with lies....
Lies that belie the truth behind his promises.
Now, they seem so redundant and empty.
How can I trust a man who so blatantly lies,
without the batting of an eyelid?
In the blink of an eye,
All dreams have shattered...
My heart once again broken into pieces.
Why does he do this over and over again?
Why do I allow him to do this to me always?

Every time we fall apart,
He somehow manages to convince me.
Not this time, I am so deeply hurt..
I don't know, what secrets lurk behind those smiles of his?
What is it that makes people shirk him?
What is he hiding from me...
That he is so secretive and non communicative of his past?

Questions, to which there is no answer...
Queries, that leave me bewildered.
Am utterly confused....
Whether to trust him anymore  or not..
A risk I am willing to take or not.

A new day, a new dawn...
And, here I am .... fretting and fuming...
Contemplating a bleak future, if I stick to him....
And, a miserable life without the bundle of lies that he is...
A new day, a new dawn......
And, a new lie perhaps.

What is it that I seek?

What is it that I seek?

Blessings or fruits of some order?

What I seek is love... pure love and bliss.

Why is it that all forsake him?

The one I love is not loved by anyone.

I hurt in the knowledge.... and cry in vain.

The pain instead of subsiding , grows in leaps and bounds.

His love and passion leaves me breathless, wanting more...

yet I feel helpless and forlorn.

Love can bring with it seasons of despair,

with no hopes of repair,

Yet I love him, in the hope...

That we shall be together, one day..forever.

In an everlasting embrace,

Not to be torn by time and place...

When will such a day dawn upon us?

What is it that I seek?

Love or thorns.... am not sure....

But, am sure, he loves me....

Yet, so unsure of the chimes of time.

What is it that I seek?

I have everything going great for me..... Touchwood!

Yet, this feeling, this foreboding that somewhere,

something is just not right....

An empty space, an empty feeling...

What is it that I seek?

True love stories never have an ending....

True , true love stories never have an ending. Mine doesn't. I loved a man ages ago and I still love him no matter what. Come hail or thunderstorm I shall always love him ... n this life and afterlife. My soul shall always yearn to be with him forever in eternal bliss.

It's not a frivolous expression. It's an expression something deeper, something that means a lot to me. Something that changed the course of life for me then and now. I live and die for my love and I have no inhibition in exhibiting a public display of my affections.

I thought I had loved and lost, but I was wrong... I gained in experience and an upliftment of my soul... an enhancement of my personality. I grew in stature and by no means lost on any experience. Along the way, came many others but this love stood steadfast, conquering all other beliefs and social taboos. Am whole now... one with my loved one and no typhoon can tear us apart..... till death do us apart also does not hold ground here.... coz even death can't set us apart.

Today, at the height of my career, at the helm of affairs.... I am not alone. He stands tall beside me and I by his side. We are each others support systems, we have pledged our lives unto each other and our loved ones. What other love could do that? He is my inspiration and motivation to do well and be good. I couldn't have asked for a better man than him. He is the best and he is mine and here to stay.

Ours is a story, that unfolds each century into a saga of blood and tears, yet it stands the test of time.... this is what Love stories are made of.... this is our story... and our love stands above all...unique and distinct.

This story has no end.... it is just the beginning........

Not the last blog.... just not yet

Yup, Just not yet my last blog. How can I not write what I feel? How can I not express what I go through? Am  a Word smith, I can't stop spinning my web of words..... It's my life....

When I am at any juncture in my life.... words give me company... my thoughts turn into words and flow out.... inner peace is what they provide my troubled mind with. Turbulent relationships, staid and boring ones, all are expressed through words. Excitement filled days and days when nothing happens, my words give me company.

I do not follow a pre-written format or a given set of instructions. I just write what comes to my mind in whichever manner my fingers deem it fit to type the letters out.

Am so in love with my musings that I feel I need to give vent to them and let them just flow, fly on wings of words and embed in my blog. There is a thin line between sanity and insanity, I am on that border... but what the heck, does it matter as long as I am able to express what's bothering me and what eggs me on.

My words bring peace to my mind. They bring a semblance to my thoughts. They make me think.... and implement. I write and do what I need to do. When you read what you have written and feel Oh My God! Is this what I wrote, I must be crazy deep down, you know you have arrived.. you have hit Bull's Eye. You have connected with your self and made a bonding. That's the bond that sets you free to explore alternatives to words that you have used and find new ones to express yourself with.

Just not yet, am I ready to hang up my boots..... I have only just begun.... It's my calling now... and I go for the kill and make a life and career out of it. So, although I would be hard pressed for time, but I shall keep popping in and out of my blog spot adding a zing and chutzpah to it from time to time.

This or any other is not my last blog, not my last musing.... it's just the tip of an iceberg.... there's lots more coming beneath it to down the Titanic, that is life............ to take in what I feel and take along what I feel henceforth... an expression of myself..... just not yet... no I won't break the nib of my pen just yet..... the day I do that would be my last on Earth.... my entire life is in my pen, I can't put it down.... it has to go on penning the deep thoughts and keep me alive for generations to come......

I shall live through my words for I am the Word smith that I am.

Confessions of an Unjust Lady: Life couldn't have been better....

Confessions of an Unjust Lady: Life couldn't have been better....: "Yup, a great career, an amazingly refreshing relationship with God, man and kids.... what else do I need to say... life couldn't have been b..."

Life couldn't have been better....

Yup, a great career, an amazingly refreshing relationship with God, man and kids.... what else do I need to say... life couldn't have been better.

I thank almighty God up there somewhere, though I believe he is always behind me , looking over my shoulders at what I am doing, the abominable spy, I say... lol.

Am thankful to the man in my life, for making every moment of it today , a beautiful tomorrow to look forward to. He is my Knight in shining armour indeed. He does everything to keep me happy and that's what matters... it shows he cares and will always be there no matter what. He is here, with me today , that is what is so beautiful and shows his caring nature.I love him ... he is my life... can't think of a life without him around me anymore. I have given him the sole rights to my life and times. I am married to him in mind and matter doesn't matter anymore...He is my whole and soul.

He comes to me and gets a package deal.... two lovely and beautiful kids with hearts of gold. It makes a complete family picture. The kids are the most adorable in the Universe.... Touchwood! They make our life rock... may they always be happy and successful in life.

My career is shaping up beautifully and I couldn't have asked for anything better than doing what I love to and believe in.... Education.

My life is an open book... come read it and learn the lessons of your lifetime. It's one filled with roller coaster rides, bumpy and dangerous.... you have to find your way through thick fog and wade through tides, but at the end you come out as a whole being... a satiated soul.

All the people associated with me right from my conception to this day helped shape the life I have led... and frankly looking back at everything , I am happy and there are no regrets. And, as my Man repeats my words... I have forgiven but not forgotten..... yup, learnt my lessons well but turned a blind eye to the torturers of my soul... given them the chance to better themselves and rejoin me in my quest for peace and happiness.

There can be no greater happiness than one where your state of being is in sync with the tunes of the world and you go on living happy, smiling always and spreading cheers all around you.

Love you for being there beside me today..... You are my man and I am your woman, together we create a beautiful world.... a beautiful life together.

Last blog... bidding adieu...

Yup, maybe my last blog... might not get time to write in future due to service exigencies and lack of time. Anyways the inspiration to write has been chopped down mercilessly.... my heart weeps as I bid adieu to my blogspot ... for a long long time to come... not a word may appear... seldom will something inspirational happen.... as and when it does... the blog will be sighted..... till then adiós... ciao... DASVIDANIYA...