Memories...

With the passage of time, memories are all that one is left with. No one even to share it with. On a melancholy note each day, you are regaled with nostalgia of days bygone. Moments that will never visit you again. All you are left is with a few memorabilia of a past that seems as fresh as a daisy or as hazy as a fog.

Memories can liberate you or hold you down and not let you create new ones. It's like salt , the right amount brings forth the flavor and too much ruins the taste. If we constantly hold on to a past that could never be, we will ruin our present and future. So, stop delving in the past and look into the Now and the tomorrow.

We are all prisoners of time. Warped and wrapped in its folds. Memories then and now, good or bad are all stations along the way... our train has to chug along and make its stopovers depending on how big that station is.

Move on from memories that haunt you each day, each second... move on and create your new world. take that step forward and you will find there are countless who will join you in your journey.

Move on... Let go of your memories.

What am I getting into?

Am I doing the right thing at this moment? Is the moment right for what I am getting myself involved in? Am I really game for this entirely different ball game? Gosh, questions galore. The ultimate dilemma over what I intend to do with my life and times.

Should I go solo? Or, should I remain employed with somebody for the rest of my able life? Oh God! Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma and no solution in sight. So many lost opportunities to lament about and so many new avenues opening up.

Every which way, life at home will be disrupted. What should I do? Should I see my comfort or sacrifice it all as a mother? Opportunities seldom knock at your door, a new horizon beckons me, so does a new land. The lure of the green buck is tremendous but so is the tug at heart.

Should I be gone en route my journey to a brighter life ahead in a distant land or should I fore go everything for the company and laughter of my innocent ones? There is a lot to weigh as pros and cons, but what is it that I seek? Is it fortune and fame or a blissful life ahead?

The decision is not mine to make alone. The journey is not mine to go alone. There is a lot on stake here today, the lure of fame and fortune or the call of loved ones. Should I cling onto my belief or let go with my faith? A dilemma, a constant dilemma between belief and faith.

Of course, there is no one to question me. Yet, I query myself. There is no one to stop me, yet I halt and wonder. What is it that beckons me and what is it that stalls my feet?

I have lost my sleep over it again and again. Have come to no conclusion yet. Till when shall I dilly dally, when shall the dawn , dawn upon me. A dilemma, a constant dilemma; robbing me of my peace of mind, stripping me naked with half baked truth. What do I believe, my faith or my belief?

The strife in my mental make up continues, while I waste my time away. This dilemma is causing the world around me to tumble and come crashing down. What do I do, to rid myself of all my doubts and apprehensions? What do I do to get on ahead with my life? A dilemma, a constant dilemma robbing me of my peace of mind.

What am I getting into... ruing about my life? There is no ifs and buts, just a simple decision to make and a commitment to keep. What am I getting into.... I have connections to make and undertakings to take care of. There is so much to do, yet so little time. What am I doing, wasting my life away? What am I doing, dilly dallying my time away?

There is a lot to fathom, a lot to comprehend. I can't just dive in and take the plunge. What am I getting myself into? I don't know. There is a deep abyss behind me and a path enveloped in fog ahead. Where should I turn to..... into the unknown ahead or like a coward turn around?

The path is rugged and winds through unyielding terrain ahead, yet I desire to plow on, lest I be left behind. I have promised myself roses, aware that there are thorns attached to them. I have dreamt of stars in the dark aware of the distance between them and me. I have gifted life to me, aware of the cost involved in it.

What am I getting into... is no more a dilemma to me. I know for sure, there's no bed of roses awaiting me, yet am confident I can trudge alone. No doubt, the journey is long and lonesome, yet somewhere deep down, am sure , am not alone. There is a spirit guiding me, lighting the way ahead, with angels thrown in for added charisma and drama, to keep the travel entertained.

What am I getting into? A good question to ponder and wonder about. Now there is no time to waste on musings, it's the time to dream and dream big I shall.

Lost and Found.........

I was shattered when I lost you, I was elated when you found me. A cat and mouse game, some would say. The chase is on, is it? I don't know how to react.... so am pouring my feelings out. Am feeling so helpless, a hapless victim of circumstances. A victim of self created path of destruction.

Why do I have to go snooping around turning every stone upside down.... trying to find a past resplendent glory of yours? Why do I rake up muck, making it difficult for both you and me to seek happiness together? Why , oh why?

Why can't I remain happy in the knowledge that you love me ever so more? Why can't I be happy with thoughts of our union? Why can't I just be happy when you say you are there for life? Why can't I let go of past, yours and mine too? Why am I bound to matters long past... that don't hold an ounce of conviction in them anymore? Why, oh why?

It's happiness lost and found. I don't want to lose you again. Not anymore, shall I let anyone snatch you away from me. How selfish of me? Yet, all my life, I have given of me selflessly to what purpose? Today, I want to live, live for myself too. Am I wrong in desiring you, even today?

Tell me my love, that you will be there always. Pacify this sinking heart. Strengthen the bond between us. A bond no force can break. Am waiting, have waited far too long... Bless me and mend my broken wings.

Love you with all my heart and bared my soul to you. What more do you ask for?

I lost you and found you again.....

For your eyes only....

For your eyes only, do I express in words what otherwise would have been lost with the passing breeze.

For your eyes only, do I wake up each morning, to look into those expressive doe eyes and see the world of love just for me.

For your eyes only, do I make my state beautiful, to see the joy in those beautiful eyes on seeing me dressed just for you.

For your eyes only, do I express myself, coz I know you are the only one who is going to read what I write as it's only for you that I put down my thoughts and emotions everyday.

Each day you ask me, whether I have written anything and I write only for your eyes only.

Each night, I sleep in your arms looking into those beautiful eyes and for your eyes only I live each moment of my life.

For your eyes only....

When you look at me , it causes a flutter in my heart, a feeling that be known to lovers only.

When you express your undying love for me, I go jelly in my knees and wish I had wings to fly to you and be in your arms forever.

For your eyes only, I pour my heart out in a poetic rendition, coz I know you love every word I write for you.

For your eyes only, I keep my brazen self in check, coz it's only for you to see the wild child in me.

For your eyes only.......

For you this ice maiden will thaw, coz you have the fire that I keep hidden within the confines of the depth of my heart.

You have given a new meaning to my life then and now.... you are the harbinger of change within. Many came and left, they couldn't change me, they tried, they gave up.... but you just have to look at me and I melt. For you I can take on anything, even change for the better. For your eyes only does this person live an ever longing life.

You need not worry about my feelings changing for you, they never did in the last two decades, they won't ever. They only mature and become wiser with age and time. For your eyes only, does this soul exist.

For your eyes only.........

Euphoria!

Euphoria! A Beautiful feeling! Ask me... am in that state of bliss ever since I met you.

Life couldn't get any better. Am floating through varied levels of varied emotions... from a high to a low, to a state where one doesn't fathom what one is doing.

Am delirious with happiness....... pinch me...... Is this a dream or reality?

My days are incomplete and really do not kick start without seeing you come dawn, my day doesn't end with sunset or dusk but deep into the night it prolongs, with you until sleep takes control. There is an aura around you, a halo that attracts me to you like a moth to the flame.

Ever since you came back in my life, happiness has been travelling through my meandering veins.

Your astonishingly handsome persona has blown me off my feet again. Romantic Knights have disappeared with time, yet you remain eternal in my heart my Knight in shining armor.

Love isn't visible or tangible, love has no name nor a fancy dressing. It's pure ecstasy.

Every thing is as new as dew, just like the bloom in spring. Hope has sprung alive again... Living every moment and soaking in the joy.

I love you. Euphoria is back again!

Humorously yours ji...Shola aur Shabnam...

Aap shola ho toh mein shabnam hoon ji,

Aap aag ho toh mein Baraf ka gola hoon ji (heheheheh),

Kal tak hum judaa thei, aaj miley hain ji,

Ab bhi hum behti nadi ke do bichde kinaare hain ji,

Kal phir bhi hum sagar mein jaa milenge ji...

Aap shola ho to mein shabnam hoon ji.

Aapki nigaahein jis tarah se hamein dekhti hain ji,

Aisa lagta hai hum pighalene lage hain ji,

Aap ne jo apna dil e jigar hamein diya toh ji,

Lagta hai jaise yeh jahan hill gaya ji.

Yeh jo ishq hai ji,

ek ibadaat hai ji,

Aasan nahi hai yeh safar ji,

Manzil abhi bahut door hai ji.

Aap shola ho to hum shabnam hain ji.

Ek guzaarish hai ji,

Iss bechaain dil ko,

Na todna ji,

Har baar yeh girr kar uth nahi sakta ji,

Ab toh hamara budaapa bhi kareeb hai ji.

Aap shola ho toh hum shabnam hain ji,

Aap laava hain toh hum baraf ka gola hain ji (lol).

Kids this is for you....Sapnon ka Saudagar......

Sapnon ka Saudagar aaya,

Le lo tum sapney naye, Tumse kismet khel chuki, Ab tum kismet se khelo.....

Beautifully worded song. Without a captain let your ship reach it's port.... You be the captain of the ship. Take on your Freedom headlong, but with freedom comes responsibility. Don't forget that. I haven't forgotten.

Each new dawn brings with it new challenges, we must meet these challenges with a smile and confidence. The moment we lose faith in ourselves and our dreams, we collapse into a heap and it sets us back.

You have your future beckoning you, where's the worry and certainly there is no hurry. Take your time. But, know this for sure, that this lady is there by your side always. I may not support your wild ideas always but I won't stop you. Learn from your mistakes, just like I did. I shall not teach you, I shall inspire you to take the right decision. Let my life and times be your guide.

Know this for sure, Guys, am always gonna be there when you stumble and fall. I shall back you in every endeavour of yours, come hail or thunderstorm. But, blistering typhoons, don't rub me on the wrong side, for then I shall be a torrent of well worded unjustness at that moment. But, know this for sure, I will be there for you always.

There is a lot to say, but this is enough for the time being coz I know you are disturbed today and need this little bit of gyan from me.

Bye babies.... Love you guys.

What does it matter...

What does it matter if I am in a loving relationship?

What does it matter if I am loving every moment of being in love?

What does it matter if I live life on my terms?

What does it matter if the world knows?

What matters is whether I am happy...

What matters is he is happy...

What matters is people related to us are happy.... Are they?

I guess they would be, once they know. they have been through the ups and downs with us, they know us well and will be the happiest in our happiness. Of course there would be lots of questions to be answered and a lot of answers to be questioned. I am ready for it, but are YOU?

Today, a lot is occupying my thoughts. A lot is churning within. A lot to contemplate. A lot to introspect.

What do I want? I don't know. Does it matter? Maybe it does. We aren't living separate to the world. We are living in conjunction with the world. For every thing, we are so dependent on people around us, the society et al. Their opinion matters. Does it really? No, it doesn't. If it did, then we should matter to them too. Where is everybody when we are going through our turmoils alone? Nobody matters.

It's just you and me. We have to decide, what is it that we want from life? What is it we want from each other? What is it that we are looking forward to? What is it that got us together? What is it that makes us tick? What does it matter.....

By the way, what is it that would make me TICK? Just asking.