Sunday, December 12, 2021

To drive or not to drive ... A wedge driven in the decision ! #GoFigure

Breathe in breathe out...
Hold your bated breathes brethren of the same kind ...
If you are indeed...
Here comes a jaunty anecdote on my fourth driving licence...
What!!! You exclaim...
What's so different about it ?
Well, I have been having a driving licence since I was about 22...
Yet, I don't drive !!!
I just go and get it renewed...
And, there's the catch !!!
I enrol into a driving school each time in order to relearn ...
What I seemingly never learnt ! 
I do pass the driving tests though !
So, where's the joke ?
Well! After getting the licence...
It goes right into my Baba Azam ke zamaane ka wallet ...
Which would be better off in a museum...
As an artifact to be marveled at !
So, getting back to my driving licence...
It remains deeply ensconced...
In the crevices of the wallet and ...
No jokes! Till am asked to produce for some documentation and I realise...
It's expired! 
Just like an old hag...
Hanging onto the last clutches of the tattered and torn ... Wallet !
Well to come to the irritating point ...
Which I know you already are Dear Reader ...
Oh no! Not the irritating point but the irritated reader ...
Hehehe! Here goes the diarrhoea of giggles thinking of my poor Driving instructor...
Who holds his heart in his hand ...
No, not for me!
Am nearly 52...
But, I do make heads turn at this age too ...
Oh no! Not for my good looks ...
But, for my temper...
Usually, people fold their hands and pray to their respective God's before starting a drive ...
He turns to me with folded hands and says ...
Madamji! Please keep your temper in check while driving...
Let the world do what it desires but you don't lose your temper...
And then, for the next designated half hour...
An argument ensues between him and me ...
Where I quote Traffic rules and keep abusing people on the road who don't follow them...
Especially, autorickshaw drivers, morning walkers, Two wheeler idiots ...
But of course, for not following traffic rules! 
I wonder, where did I learn the choicest of abuses from...
Watching someone do that all the time ...
Sigh! I didn't learn anything good from him...
Only to abuse power ...
There I go off on a tangent again !
I have been told to learn and give my test and get my licence and keep it in my wallet again...
By my children, of course!
They wouldn't want anyone to be harmed in the process of my debacles at driving independently ever...
Sigh! When will I fulfill my bucket list of driving all alone some day ? #GoFigure


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