Happiness eludes her ...

Yet again,

Happiness eludes her. Just when she thought all was going to end , a sudden gust of wind came along and blew the nest of her dreams away.

Yet again, she became lifeless.

Yet again, she turned into a zombie.

Yet again, she killed her dreams ... her desires ... her feelings ... yet again, she felt cheated by her own.

She withdrew into a cocoon. She spun the weave around her ... Yet again, happiness eluded her.

Yet again, joy skirted around her and bereft her with emotions. A steady stream of warm tears flowing from her eyes , traversed along her cheeks ... she tasted the salt in it and yet again ... happiness eluded her.

Cherubic persona

The cute double chin...
The podgy look...
The layers of fat..
Make her look good...
The cherubic look...
Her persona.

Funny is her demeanour ...
Sweet is her smile ...
Baby is her looks ...
The cherubic look...
Her persona

Nostalgia of a bygone era ...

The whirring of the fan above cannot mute the music playing in the background . Music of a bygone era ... muffled memories , screaming to be heard once again.

She moves about, completing her chores. Almost robotic actions but for the mind immersed in thoughts remeniscing about good old days.

A nostalgic remembrance of love lost and found over the years. Each a unique tale to write about. Each an unrequited Love story legends are all about.

The Vagabond Virgin that she is ... She is lost to the present World. In her own thoughts she finds solace ... In her solitude she is happy.

Days of yore, joy de viviere... she lets escape an utterance of sighs and a smile across her wrinkled lips pasted ... she moves to her own realm ; a dream world where none can enter.

Men came and knocked at her heart but this Juliet never let anyone in. Her ideal Romeo not found yet she chuckles and says ... I love my freedom... am not ready to give it all up for anybody. Ah!!! Matters of the heart ... What to say?

Nostalgia like a cloud ... engulfs her and consumes her in its wake. Lost to all she moves in her own make believe World.

Her life her Decision.

Corruption is a state of mind

Corruption is a state of mind. It is not the money that is black, it is the man and his transaction! So demonetisation won't stop corruption.

Check out this story of Akbar and Birbal which we should present to Modiji. If he had paid attention in grade 8 we might have been spared this effort. A superb analogy of our present day Tughlaq and his attempts to rein in corruption. Do read.

 " Many many years ago, when I was in school, I heard the following story:

Once Badshah Akbar' s army was engaged in a prolonged war. As a result his royal wealth ("shahi khazana") was nearly exhausted.
He asked Birbal, "How to replenish my wealth."
Birbal: You can get it from Dhanna Seth.(merchant).
Akbar was amazed as to how a trader/ merchant could have so much money. Still he went to Dhanna Seth.

Dhanna Seth offered: Badshah Akbar, I have huge wealth, take as much as you want."
Akbar: Dhanna Seth, How did you accumulate so much wealth. Tell me without any fear of punishment.
Dhanna: I earned it by adultrating grains & spices.
Akbar got angry, he took all of Dhanna's wealth and ordered him that from then on he would collect the horse dung  in his royal stable. Dhanna agreed.

Years passed by. Again Akbar had to fight a long drawn battle. Again his royal wealth exhausted & again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna Seth for help.
Akbar wondered : Birbal, I had ordered him to work in royal stable to collect horse dung, How on earth he can have such a wealth."
Birbal: Badshah, you can ask him but only he can help you.
Akbar went to Dhanna. Dhanna gave Akbar huge wealth.
Akbar: Dhanna Seth, I had earlier taken all your wealth, How did you accumulate it again?
Dhanna: From the stable - incharge  & horse attendants. They used to underfeed the horses. I threatened them that I will complain to Badshah that they did not feed horses enough, hence the horse dung quantity was less. So they bribed me to keep silent.
Akbar got very angry again & ordered Dhanna to start counting the waves at sea & returned to his Palace with Dhanna's wealth.

As luck would have it, Akbar fought another war, royal wealth emptied out and once again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna  Seth for help.
Akbar could not believe as to how Dhanna could earn so much by counting waves at sea.
Akbar asked Dhanna for the help.

Dhanna: Badshah, Take as much as you want but this time around I will not change my profession.
Akbar: Ok, but tell me how did you earn money by counting Water waves at sea.
Dhanna: Very simple, I used to stop merchant's ships & boats far  away from sea shore. I showed them your orders that I  was counting waves & their ships & boats would disturb or break the waves hence their ships or boats should stay away. Badshah, these merchants then used to bribe me to let them reach the shore & unload their merchandise.

So Badshah understood that Dhanna Seth can earn by engaging in manipulations & bribery from any profession."

Demonetisation or no demonetisation, the Dhanna Seths of our society will always find a way to earn & accumulate black money.

Sacrifice ... Letting go

Letting go is a big sacrifice to make ...
Killing feelings and emotions ...
Burying all thoughts ...
Leaving all care to wind ...
For Love doesn't bind ...
Love sets you free...
Love is setting them free...
For a better life for them.

What may seem all rosy and hunky dory ...
Can be a bitter future together ...
Two souls can remain connected ...
Yet, apart  ...
For Love doesn't bind...
It lets go.

Emotional connect remains ...
The physical touch goes ...
Living with fond memories is better ...
Than bitter experiences.

Just fade away is all one can do ...
For they love them ...
With love within ...
One can move on ...
No remorse, no pain ...
Just a smile on lips ...
Tackling life as it comes ...
With all its lemons and rinds.

When ...

When everything falls into place and you wonder, what next? ... That's the stage she is in ; wondering WHAT NEXT!

There comes a time when whatever you have been has come to fruition and you upto your neck done with it and the monotony of daily routine becomes overwhelming , and you wonder what next?

What is it that needs to be tackled?
Do I need to take the plunge and start afresh?
Is the fight worth it?
Should I start a new venture?
We need that self affirmation to believe in ourselves to dive into a new adventure?
Is the adventure worth the time, peace of mind and money?

And, the heart the silly old romantic fool says YES ... Go ahead, you have nothing to lose ... Just jump in and start a new game of life and wonder.

The shrewd mind on the other hand says , play it safe honey; you ain't getting young ... Give yourself a break and go fulfill your Bucket list.

She wonders ... will I be able to adjust to a new routine of nothingness after so many fulfilling years?

When it comes to decisions these dilemmas make you weak ... but what the heck, life is all about taking risks and she is ready for yet another adventure ...

An adventure that will test her wits and patience ... Her endurance and belief will be tested ... Hope she comes out victorious ... Her belief in her strengths intact.

Losing her at words ...

Words entice her...
Words seduce her ...
Your words turned her reclusive world upside down ...
Your words killed the love that had germinated.

Simple words that can make or break a woman ...
You made her and  you broke her infinitely.

She enters her cocoon again ...
With a promise ...
This time even words can't beseech her.


From me she became Us ...
Only to become I again.

You lost her at your words ...
She lost you at hers.

The Temporary Relationship ...

A few interactions I find interesting to share- a series of short conversations.

Him and her .
Reading books , warm sunlight , green grass .

She -: i should warn you -I can't handle anger well.
He - thoughtfully " I don't see you very angry , usually"
She - no, your anger . I don't like it at all. Don't be angry with me .

He - thinking deeply again .." But that would be unnatural for me .. I would not be myself if I am hiding things from you .."

She - thinking - well that is true . And honest .

" but still , give me a warning ..something like I am sorry I am feeling mad ..can I talk to you about this .."

He laughs . "I can try . But I don't know if it will work always "

She - " you know I am not known for staying too long in one place if I am unhappy ..I find options .."

He , now seriously looking at her - " options ? "

She - " yes , I don't recommend to anyone to stay in a situation they hate . They should either accept or move .. Shouldn't complain .."

He -: you don't have any options .

Oh ?

She - now feeling truly mad - "of course I do . Everyone has options ."

He -" do you know anyone handsomer than me ?"

She marveling at his confidence -:"a few names come to mind , but yes I think right now I see you to be the best."

She is trying not to smile . Too much confidence for a bald man .

He does not seem to notice the emphasis on 'right now'

He rolls over - do you know anyone who is as intelligent as I am ?

She looks at him seriously but the twinkle in the eye is brighter , harder to hide .

"Again a few names do come to mind , but yes you are the most intelligent man I see right now ."

He , looks directly at her - no sign on his face of any humor .

"Do you know any one who loves you more ?"

No names came to mind .

She chooses to not answer .

Another postponement of that breakup . May be another day .

It's a temporary relationship anyway . Just one lifetime .

Both return to their respective chapters of fiction and facts .