Friday, October 31, 2014

Of errors in judgement ...

A decade later, she turns the pages of her history book and she sees is errors in judgements.

His error was also one such sin, she could have over looked it but for her vice , her anger that took over and reigned supreme. All judgment blurred , she walked away ... shunning her World , relegating all happiness in the back burner , she burnt her house down.

An error ... she sees them all committing the same sin and only regret having taken a stance to make a point in a society that doesn't care.

She lost all, for nothing. Her flock lost it  all for no fault of theirs.

So each morning she promises herself , not to let another family die . No other flock of sheep loses their shepherd.

She works at bringing the flock home so there is a warm hearth waiting for the goatherd to come to in cold wintery evenings. There is cheese for all and bread is warm and fresh from the oven baked with love.

She sighs and turns away , wiping the tear at the end of her eye ... walking into the sunset , with a  crooked stick ... her trademark stamp.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Lost connection...

Just a few word of reality ....
And all he does is ...
Shouts at her ...
Blames her ...
She hears him out ...
Shuts him out ...
All that noise ...
Allthat hulla bulloo ...
She loses herself ...
Once again ...
A real heartbreak ...
A break in trust...
No faith left in his senseless rantings ...
She severes all ties ...
All ties with everone...
She kills herself ...
Ruins what her self once was ....
Cuts her wrist...
And watches the blood drip down ...
Forming a pool ...
Clotting into dark matter ...
Dying , her only thoughts are of him ...
And his treachery.
Lost forever ...
Another life ...
A life vrowing within her ...
Throttled for ever.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Death becomes her ...

She is lost forever...
To all an sudry ...
But to herself.

Time for her  cut all the ties...
This world isn't for het...
Going away is the best alternative...
So she leaves forevet ...
None she owes a penny ...
None she owes herself ....
Time to destroy herself ...
Time to go away.

Death becomes her ...
She embraces  death ...
As her own...
Just hers for keeps.

He , who had no remorse in his voice ...
He who shunned her ...
Hr who hurt her ...
Let him  live in peace ...
For she loved hi then ...
And in his love she dies ...
His love her death wish.

Gone for ever ...
She will never be a happy soul ...
A lost soul ...
She braves the final battle ...
All alone ....
A life ruined forever ...
She lits her funrral pyre ...
In his memory ...
The one she loved always ...
Her final goodbye ...
And he still hurt her .

She will always lover Donal Duck ....
She hates herself for her sorry state ...
She abhors hef actions ...
How coukd she become gullible ...
And fall for a man who never loved her.

Her faults ...
Repercussions unknown ...
End of life best ....
To save his face ...
And her grace.

Death becomes her ...
She is lost , forever.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Shortlived joy ...

In all her happiness she wrote ...
Of her joy ...
Of his undying love ...
Little realising that...
Happiness forgot the way to her home ...
Long ago.

Her joy turned to grief ...
She was bereft of feelings once again...
Slowly she turned away ...
And walked into the oblivion ...
Her permanent abode.

Darkness enveloping her shaggy frame ...
Shoulders low ...
A humped heap of flesh and blood ...
Devoid of feelings ....
A blank look in her eyes...
Staring at her toes ...
Walking slowly with her head down ...
A sad melancholy look in her eyes ...
She continued her lonely journey again.

Bite into a bit more of affection ...

All along she thought, he was lost forever in her tempestuous outburst. But, lo behold when all else was down and out, a glimmer of hope shimmered in the horizon and there he was with open arms waiting for her towards the sunsetty horizon. She ran straight into his warm waiting arms , snug and secure in the knowledge , he would always be there.

Her live , her Emperor , her life ... her Knight in shining armour ... her love.

Her happiness knew no bounds . In her moment of glee and joy she floated in a dream world of happiness. Her  love established to its former glory , her faith restored in fate and destiny.

In his strong arms , she found her world of hope and bliss... a happiness unaccountable.  His sweets, his love ... she glowed.

Thanking the lord for all his small mercies , thanking the Goddess that blessed him, she prays for his well being and happiness , sne prays for togetherness unlimited.

Her Knight , her Badshah ... she can't keep her eyes off him. The most handsome hunk , by his side she knows she looks best.
Bite into the best of bites , a news of her happiness , she knows she needs to cherish these moments. The bubbling happiness, biting into the bits and snippets of joy.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Festivities ... not meant for her ...

For her ...
Only solitude ...
Her reclusive getaway ...
Her world of gadgets ...
Her world of geeks ...
No emotions to be shed ...
Just a blank screen ...
An expression , she chose.

For her ...
No festivities ...
She absolved herself of all...
All that meant relations ...
Alone in her melancholy moments...
She observes them all.

A sarcastic laugh ...
At human vanities ...
And vain efforts at happiness...
All will be lost one day...
They would all sit in the same dias ...
As her ...
And watch festivities pass by.

Her nest, a cold place to be ...
No warmth there ...
A cold stare from her ...
Is all one gets.

In her aloneness she has companionship...
Her world her solace ...
Where none can hurt her ...
None can touch her.

Festivities , not her forte'...
She wat hes others with a smug smile ...
Knowing well ...
All that is a farce.

Monday, October 20, 2014

In her thoughts

Alone in her thoughts...
She cries silently ...
Weeps a river ...
Paces back and forth ...
Lulls herself to sleep...
But, sleep ...
It doesn't come ...
It teases her ...
Worrisome in her state ...
All she does is ...
Take to alternatives....
Drugging her senses ...
She wails and wallows in self pity ...
Dizzy with kaleidoscopic images ...
She imagines him with her ...
She weeps silently ...
He watches her ...
Not a word uttered ...
Those silent brooding eyes ...
Just watch her ...
And he vanishes ....
She takes more to calm her nerves ...
She seeks him ...
In those colourful flamboyant dreams ...
An addiction ...
That is killing her slowly.

Day and night ...
Toxic substance in her veins ...
She does her chores for the world to see...
But within ...
She plays hide and seek with her feelings.

A hue of colours ...
Washing over her senses ...
She goes into another realm ....
Where nothing hurts ...
She is happy ...
She sobs her tormented thoughts away.
Shame, that a life is wasted ...
In the trauma of a lost love.

Alone in her thoughts ...
She builds a world of happiness ...
Him , her, their little ones ...
Alas! Just an overactive imagination ...
Of a woman lost in the world of psychedelic drugs.

Damn these feelings ...

You are dead for me henceforth ... she wrote...
She avoided him ...
She went into her shell...
To no avail ...
He lives ...
In her thoughts , he lives ...
He lives within her ...
She can't shake him off ...
A leech ...
The feelings for him just don't vanish ...
They remain ...
Tormenting her day in and day out ...
She dies every moment ...
Regretting having hurt his feelings ...
Having written those words ...
She prays for his success...
She prays for his long life ...
She wishes death upon herself.
Love doesn't die ever...
Once you love someone ...
You can never hate them ...
You can never wish them bad...
You might shout and scream at them ...
But deep within...
You never stop loving them ...
Not when you have cherished ...
And nurtured that love for three decades.
She sits in her sombre state ...
Aloneness her companion ...
And ponders ,
How it would have been different ...
Had destiny not separated them...
She spins dreams ...
She lives in a world of fantasy ...
Where they are together ...
Happy and merry ...
Content in each others company.
Damn those feelings !
Damn the mushy mushy feelings!
Damn being human.