Nirmohi ...

O Nirmohi,moh na jaane ...
Kaahe ko moh kare ...
Mann re, tu kaahe na dhheer dhharey...

Aptly describes the state of a troubled mind ...
The state of mind in turbulence ...
What with giving up all ..
And walking away ...
Is it so easy?

Nothing comes easy...
Nor it goes easy ....
A strange feeling remains ...
An unfulfilled desire.
Somewhere deep down ...
A scream remains stifled ...
What if ...
It were to be exposed?
What if ...
It remains ...
A treasure like chest , heavy ...
With the secrets...
Heavy with desires.

Blasts from the past that fizzled out ...

Pffft ...phhusssphhuuusss furrrrr ...
Yeah!
They made a comeback ...
But, Alas! Couldn't match her expectations ...
Nor sustain a woman stronger than them...
The blasts from the past ...
They all came back ...
Only to be kicked out unceremoniously ...
From her life.

Imagine the pain and shame ...
They harbour ...
Their alter egos hurt...
The Alpha male ...
Ground to the ground ...
Groweling and begging ...
In front of a female.

Yes , they all did ...
Worshipping the very Earth she tread upon ...
They licked the dust off her feet.

Let me assure you my friend...
This isn't the end of the tirade ...
They ignited ...
This is just a glimpse of more to come...
Snapshots assured of moments of intimacy ...
A decko into the messed up minds ...
Frustrated husbands ...
Bored wives ...
You hear of them all ...
You get to see when she writes.

The blasts that fizzled out ...
The launch they imagined ...
Flattened egos ...
Burst bubbles...
You will find them all ...
Coming soon to her wall.

Weirdo ...

Wierdo , was the word he used for the love of his life!
She was shattered ...
After using her...
Abusing her ...
He uses one word to define her.

She took it literally...
She turned weird ...
All wired up...
Uppity about everything ...
All about him.

He changed her ...
Transformed her into a monster he dreaded ...
Monster she became ..
But to his fears ...
His apprehensions ...
Losing herself in the process ..
Destroying who she was ...
Just for him ...
For once and for all ...
She became selfish.

That abominable carrot ...
Dangling in front of her ...
She went in for the kill ...
Forgetting who she was...
She was in love ...
He destroyed her in his love ...
Dissolving in his being ...
She became one with him ...
But, destroy he did ...
Her ...
A simple being ...
Annihilated, in his love.

The wierdo ...
Turned her into himself ...
Using her ,
Abusing her ...
All the time.

I don't know where Home is ...

She lost her home ages ago ...
Eversince she has been a nomad ...
Her heart on rent ...
Life on rent...
Emotions on rent ...
She wants to go home ...
But, there is no home for her ...
She wanders aimlessly ...
Making a living out of nothing ...
Only to go back to nothingness...
She searches high and low ...
There is no home for her to go to.

She looks up at the blazing Sun ...
She sighs!
I don't have a home.

She walks in the pouring rain ...
She sighs ...
I don't have a home ...
Tears camouflaged by the downpour ...
She sloughs on ...
The drearies of a homeless life ...
Engulfing her.

I love him and he ...

... only uses me ...
All he has done is use me ...
Ranaji ...
Once again ...
You just return to use me ...
For. Your betterment ..
And tease me ...
Get me enraged...
Have you no shame ...
No spine?

Dissolving into the oblivion ...

Far beyond the horizon ...
Dissolving into the oblivion ...
Are memories ...
Fading one at a time ...
Once again ...
Strangers ...
Meeting under the same roof ...
None the less strangers  they are ...
An awkward silence engulfing them ...
They go about the official life ...
For him, a life at home too ...
She a zombie forever.

For it is She who lost all ...
All he lost were two drops ...
Of passion filled sweat ...
She lost a life ...
Her life.

Fading into the oblivion ...
Her footprints on sands of time ...
She a mere ghost ...
Of a rich past gone by.

Dissolving in her tears ...
Salted with memories ...
Her life takes another turn ...
She goes round the corner ...
Never turning back ...
Into the horizon ...
They say ...
You can still trace her footsteps ...
But , footprints no more.

Fumblings ...

He fumbled ...
She fumbled ....
An awkward silence between the two ...
eyes unable to meet ...
For they would still see something ...
They fumbled through the work ...
They worked it through ....
An eerie feeling prevailed ...
There was nothing to say.

Unspoken words ...
Unsaid feelings ...
Conveyed in the silence ...
That ensued.

The tears welled up ...
On the verge of a drop ...
Rolling down her cheeks ...
Watching his retreating steps.

Her heart aflutter ...
Her emotions stifled ...
A wreck he left her ...
Then and now.

How can he walk away ...
Knowing how she felt?
How could he yet once again ...
Come before her and walk away yet again?

Fumbling for words ...
She wipes the tears off ...
Stains on her cheeks ...
A sad story to sob about.

Muted emotions...

The gaze that set the heart aflutter...
It still bothers her.

She ignores ...
But, it keeps coming back.

Why, when he had gone away...
Did he return?

Nothing seems right ...
It ain't right anymore ...
Nothing makes sense...
It ain't making sense.

She had muted all the feelings...
The emotions...
Then, why come back...
To haunt her life again.

After sapping her of all ...
That she cared about ...
Her life shattered...
Why does he return?
His own selfish motives ...
A stoic expression on her face ...
She walks past him...
Wondering why?

All those mute feelings ...
Coming to the fore ...
She looks at the distant sky ...
A forlorn thought ...
Crossing her disturbed mind ...
Now what?