Sometimes... just sometimes ...

I wish ...
Sometimes, just sometimes...
I wish , I was...
Selfish .

Just snatch my happiness ...
And, run away...
Just once be cruel ...
Just once, a stubborn child ...
And, take away ...
What is mine .

Remnants of a ghostly past

They torment her...
The demons of yesteryears...
The ghosts from the ghastly past...
Remnants of a tormented soul.

She turns around ...
They disappear...
Only to reappear. ..
Catch her unawares ...
Ruining a perfect day ...
Spoiling her today.

They poke her ...
They pinch her ...
All that tney can do is ...
Torment her pious soul...
In her aloneness ...
She fights them...
She struggles to breath ...
In the suffocated environs ...
They say she is dying ...
A slow death ....
She lives only for her kith ...
Her kin long lost.

The ghosts from the ghastly past ...
Vary of her wrath...
Watch her silently ...
From the shadows ...
Measuring their steps towards her.

She runs ...

She is able...
She is kind...
She is love personified ...
Dignified in her being ...
She runs ...
She runs with a pack of Wolves.

Her memories ...
Her thoughts ...
Everything she has got ...
Packing a punch ...
In a bunch ...
Her pack of Wolves ....
She runs with runs ...
Beside her.

Sometimes ...
Beside her...
Sometimes ahead of her ...
Sometimes behind her ...
The pack never leaves her.

She runs with a pack of  Wolves...
Her thoughts...
Her memories.

Thoughts of Him...

Avoiding any thohghts of him coming up in her mind, she boes about her dailychores  and wham ! All tha she does reminds her of him. Every moment relived over and over, all the time just him and her ... relapsing into retro mood ... sentiments overwhelmed.

She misses out on work, forgets everything... goes into a trance remembering moments spent with him.... they say, she has gone insane... she knows nothing of the World today, in her thoughts just him and on her lips a soft murmur of his name.

Forgetting him , can never be... he is in her every piece ... she his shadow ... lost in the big bad World.

Killing herself within ... she watches her ashes burn ... the funeral pyre once a heap of logs , now just ashes smouldering.
She grabs a fistful, warm ashes in her palm ... warm they never can be ... burns her palm through ... flying ash reminding her ... of fleeting moments in his arms... she stifles a cry , tears rolling down.

She walks about , round and round in circles ... his face everywhere, smiling smugly, those deep brooding eyes , hurting er ... she has to block it all out... she just has to ... how? And, she takes out another strip of sleeping  pills , to block him from her thoughts... drugs become her ... she becomes a zombie ... she walks away.

My father's daughter...

If I am who I am today,
It is  coz' am my father's daughter,
His legacy of goodwill and honour,
Follows me everywhere.

That is what I want to leave behind for my kids.

People remember my father's nobility...
And am proud to be my father's daughter.

If I am good to the needy,
If I groom them well,
I leave a legacy behind for others,
So that faith in Being Human ,
Is never ever lost.
The blessings I garner...
Is the estate of love I want to leave ,
Behind for my flock.

At the end of the day,
I turn  to the supreme being and say,
Yes, I say , I don't ask...
I say...
Whatever blessings I have gathered today,
Put it in my children's account,
For it is them that have lost their childhood,
Make life fine for them.
I have lived my life,
Nothing much can be done about it,
But, make it better for my little ones ,
For they require it.
Just like I am my father's daughter,
Let my flock be known as Mine.
Make them good human beings ...
My only offering to you.

Shroud of mystery

Engulfed in,
Shrouded in her own mystery,
She seeks solace in shedding salt,
Through the stream that never ends,
Through her eyes ,
Sore with relentless flow,
Of pain and aches,
She shrouds her being ,
In the mystical non relentless face ,
A straight face ,
No emotions,
Just a stoic silence.

A thin veil of mystical mist,
Covering her face,
The clouds covering her face,
Her eyes with a far off look,
Vacant eyes,
Eyes bereft of happiness....
Eyes shrouded in mystery.

Good bye Love

This probably is the last time I open up my deepest emotions and feelings. I might be gone forever,  never to return.

Goodbye my love if you are reading this.

I tried living with your memories ... but memories can't replace the being that you are  or the love with which you loved me passionately.

Am human , I can't hide my emotions ... so it is best to disappear forever , never to return.

Time to go  ... A leap of faith ... into the unknown ... A deep abyss opening up ... time to jump in .

Bye my love , forever yours .

Am leaving behind all my near and dear ones ... love can be so selfish , it makes you so selfish ... but in the best interest of all , I must leave ... go away , far so far , none can reach me ever.

I have loved you right from the very beginning when love stirred within me , I was naive never understood , lost everything , but by the time I found you ,  you were lost forever ... I love your little ones ... the one beside you  is a beautiful soul ... in everyones best interest , it is for me to fly away into the unknown , never to return.

Bye my love , never doubt my fidelity ... I gave you what truly belonged to you ... forgive me for going away like this ... but this is the only alternative left.

My loved ones willbe confused and alone , just be there to guide them if possible , for they have none but me today, and when am gone , they will have none.

I have always been a hopeless romantic , never changed my name ... one doesn't become so unrealistic and frivolous to change all the time.

Farewell my love , my Babu Moshaai.

Just lay me to  rest at Sea ... my final burial ground.

For the daughter of the Sea wants to return to her father , the Emperor of Oceans ! The vast ocean her playground. You shall see her in he rfullsplendour each full moon light , alighting from the silvery shimmering waves , to play with the mermaids and singing soulful songs just for you.

Good bye my love ... I have failed you, I have failed my flock too.

What use is success , when you are alone at the end of the day.

Forgive me my outbursts, forgive me my possessiveness , so am leaving you , for you are my weakness.
I always loved you , looked for you , when I finally found you , I lost myself.

I love you and you know it .

Evading

Avoiding meeting him...
Avoiding any contact with him ...
She seeks her salvation from the ache ...
Of separation from him.

A self imposed exile ...
She cages herself in ...
Just a bit oc worldly duties...
No escape from them.

She evades any talks regarding him,
She lowers her eyes at his mention ...
Lest they see the pain ...
Less they see the love ...
She harbours in her eyes.

Craving to scream ...
To howl and cry ...
Take out all the pain ...
She shudders ...
Shoulders stooped ..
She turns and walks away.

What has cast the spell on her?
She was living ... she was happy...
Why was he sent in her life?
Questions left unanswered ...
Awkward ,
She numbs her feelings ...
She walks away...
Evading him yet , once again.