The far away call ...

A voice ...
reascending , tearing through the eerie silence of the night ...
A dream or ...
Is it a nightmare ...
A dawn breaks with doubts and a dull ache ...
An ache to know ...through the past ...
What happened ...
A feeling unexplained...
Inexplicable thoughts ...
Meandering through the lanes of the mind ...
Firing neurons to return ...
To an old story kept in wraps ...
Silken creases unfolding ...
The pain from the past ...
Was it needed ...
To traverse the path buried in memories?

The far away call...
Why should it come now?

The death of Love ...

The first eye contact,
The shy looks,
Covert following...
The first love .


No contact made...
Love lost in translation ...
Time takes over ...
Decades pass.

Sudden flash of destiny ...
They are face to face again ...
Although grey and wrinkled ...
She with her scars ...
He with his new responsibilities...
Passion rules ...
They are lost ...
Suddenly priorities take precedence ...
What started as beautiful...
Turns into a nightmare.

She sends him packing...
Into the arms of his responsibilities ...
She wears the garb of a widow again ...
His widow for now.

Love dies a brutal death ...
Not lost this time ...
in her self pity she wallows ...
Cursing her destiny.

If they were not meant to be ...
Why were they brought together again?

Why the pain of eternal bliss and separation once again?

The childhood love of innocence ...
Was all that was ...
Why turn it into unbridled passion ...
Only for the river to be let dry again?

The Death of Love this time round ...
A stigma to the name of the Lord ...
The one who created destiny,
Failed Love once again.

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Somewhere something is amiss ...

Confessions of an Unjust Lady : Altruistic Renditions: Somewhere something is amiss ...: Not to ask is ... The query why one consumes... Poison every day.... To forget what ... A past that has no meaning ... Today, tomorrow...

Somewhere something is amiss ...

Not to ask is ...
The query why one consumes...
Poison every day....
To forget what ...
A past that has no meaning ...
Today, tomorrow or ...
The day after.

Yet, consumed ...
In its solitary thoughts...
Confined to a darkness within ...
One remembers the pain ...
The ache that doesn't let ...
Her forgive the devils from the past ...
Everything has changed ...
Yet she remains ...
The same old messed up aching heart ...
Searching for the lost soul within ...
One, she might never find ever.

Everything seems hunky dory ...
Yet, somewhere something seems amiss ...
A mockery of feelings ...
Does destiny desire that?

The mindlessness of the thoughts ...
The blabbering of an unrested tongue ...
The solitary confinement of a troubled mind ...
Somewhere something is amiss.

The fluttering desires ...
Take over ...
An uncouth fantasy takes wing ...
Soaring high ...
Losing vanity is imminent ...
Yet, a stoic silence ...
Breaks the in vain attempt ...
To be rapturously happy ...
A facade ...
That shows ...
Somewhere something is amiss.

The 'Unwanted One' ...

'Unwanted ' even by Death,
Destiny's very own 'Unwanted' child...
 No one wanted her ...
The Extra 'Unwanted' One ...
The one , no one needed ...
She survived all the upheavals ...
Every corner a Death plunge ..
why she survived? Unwanted by Death ,
Unwanted by Life ...
She just exists ...
Unwanted in love ,
Yet wanted for Lust ...
She survives her Unwantedness.
They say 'Lucky' ...
But, in reality 'Unwanted'...
Needed for the luck she brings ...
Needed for bein the Hen that lays the Golden eggs ...
But, yet 'Unwanted'.

Wsnted for flings...
Wanted for affairs ...
Unwanted for love ...
Unwanted for permanence.

Wanted for goodies...
Wanted for material stuff...
Yet Unwanted ....
Wanted for money ..
Yet, Unwanted for love.

Unwanted by the one above ,
Unwanted by the ones around ,

Unwanted everywhere ...
What purpose does she fulfill?

No purpose in sight ...
she watches them walk past ...
Used and forlorn...
She feels so Unwanted ....
She watches them go by, one by one ....
She looks up a the sky ...
The dark night ...
No stars ....
Unwanted in her solitude ...
She hangs her head ...
And walks by ...
UNWANTED.

The Wail ...

She sat beside him silently watching him wail in vain, A childlike persona in a grown man, She held him in her embrace , cuddled him and kissed him on the forehead, He quietened down and slept peacefully.

This whole exercise happened each night and she held him close, watching over him all night long , sleeping beside his bed on a reclining chair praying for peace to overcome his troubled mind.

He slowly became alright but in the whole process she lost herself somewhere and forgot who she was. He became alright and forgot what sacrifices she had made for him. She was bereft of her self esteem and pride and he went back to his wayward ways.

One night, when the World was welcoming a new year ; she was walking the streets where she roamed around with him, a suitcase dragging from her limp hand, Her head held in shame, her life ruined , tears streaming down her cheeks  ... She was lost even to herself.

The wail she used to quieten in him, escaped her lips and she doubled up on the sidewalk , waif like, like a street urchin wailing on the streets of his city. All her confidence and resolve shattered , she was just another number added to his list of victims.

The silence of the night broken by a soulful wail escaping her lips was all one could hear that welcomed the New Year.

The step towards the silver Sunset ...

Not looking back...
Walking ahead ...
She welcomes the first rays of the Sunrise that lead her towards the Silver Sunset.

Above the horizon she watches the Seagulls...
Swooping down upon the calm sea ...
The calmness invades her ...
And she becomes one with the peace of the moment.

She knows not if their is a God ...
But, she knows of an all pervading presence ...
That watches over her ...
The one that shows her the path ...
To greatness within.

In her solitude she finds company ...
The recluse once again dons her robe ...
A slight wry smile escapes her lips ...
And she takes to the task of her daily grind.

The step towards the silver sunset begins...

Special Someone ...

It takes a special someone to bring out the best in you.

Life has been  one big roller coaster ride and am glad these ups and downs happened. It brought out the strength in an otherwise weak woman. Anyone else would have debilitated under the pressure , I persevered. Now, nothing affects me. I have moved on from an emotional being to one practical person with empathy for the others state of mind.

No one is born bad, it is the circumstances that make us good or bad. It is the inner strength within which decides whether we have overcome the pain , the trials and tribulations to become one above the rest.

It takes a special someone to bring out the best in us.  I had the opportunity to be affected by a lot of special people in my life. Each one gave me an experience to remember, look back upon and learn from.

Today too, I have been touched by the inclusion of a special human being whose presence has made me realize my resilience and am glad to have him with me to share the rest of our lives together.

Hoping for the best , I move forth from the past to a promised bright future.

It really has taken a special someone to bring the best out in me.